Patrick Tells a Story

Patrick Tells a Story is an episode of The Silly Adventures of Patrick Star.

Transcript
(Pearl is in a suburban house, cradling an infant in her arms. Patrick walks out of the kitchen, drinking milk from a glass bottle.)

Pearl: Thanks again for helping me babysit, Patrick.

Patrick: (burps) No problem.

(The infant starts crying.)

Pearl: No, no, no! Not again! Patrick, can you get that bottle of milk the baby's parents left on the kitchen table?

(Patrick looks down at the now-empty bottle in his hands.)

Patrick: What bottle?

Pearl: Never mind. It's after 12. Why won't this baby go to sleep?

Patrick: I know what it needs! A bedtime story!

(Patrick kneels down next to the infant.)

Patrick: Once there was an ugly barnacle. He was so ugly that everyone died.

(The baby cries louder.)

Patrick: Why didn't he like it? I thought it was a good story.

Pearl: Most babies don't like mass extinction, Patrick.

Patrick: (scoffs) Babies and their high standards! When I was a baby, there wasn't such a thing as bedtime stories! We had to walk 20 miles just to get to the local ice cream parlor! Kids today! They don't appreciate nothin'!

Pearl: Look, Patrick! Your insane rant put the baby to sleep!

Patrick: Now, that's more like it!

(What a twist!)