Thread:Cicicity/@comment-25087298-20171126035143

Hey, I just wanted to say that I enjoyed your episode of Proud to Be Square that you wrote. I just have some suggestions (optional suggestions) to make the writing style and tone more consistent with the first episode (Sea Orcs).

1. Write a Transcript. It allows for more jokes and more comedic timing.

2. Put the focus more on the frat bros. While I enjoy Squidward being the dean/principal of the college (more on that later), I feel like it took away from the frat kids. The episode is supposed to satirize loud and obnoxious frat bros and the things they do. While I find the noise joke funny the first couple of times,, having it take up the entire episode seems unnecessary. Have Squidward interact with the bros, more, perhaps.

3. How did Squidward become the principal? I know I mentioned on the Show's page that each episode is self-contained, but they all take place in the same universe and timeline. And like I said, I do enjoy the idea of him being the principal, but I just think it could be explained how he did it.

4. Cut the beginning segment. I know it's supposed to be ironic and anti-humorous, but it doesn't fit. I might use it for Episode 3, which is about Preppy Girls like Pearl and her Friends, so I won't shut it down completely. I'll credit you for that scene.

So here's my idea for the episode that combines both ideas we had: Squidward visits his old college, which used to be famous for its prestigiousness, but finds it to have devolved into Frat City. Angered, Squidward manages to become the principal to change things, turning the college into a totalitarian location made in his image, and orders a shutdown of any kids even trying to party.

I'm not saying to take all, some, or any of these ideas. These are just suggestions. I'm primarily recommending you add more to the episode in terms of plot and jokes. I hope you understand. Thank you!

  