Lights

Transcript
(Episode opens at the table)

Granite: 2 - 1 vote this time. Grandpa SquarPants, unfortunately you’ve been evicted.

Grandpa SquarePants: Dammit!

HBRS: Hahahaha.

(Sully walks out onto the stage. All of a sudden, the group starts to shake)

Granite: Hey, what’s that?

Steve: Hey Granite, take a look at the sky.

(An odd blue light is pulsating from the sky followed by a clearly alien voice)

Vastrom: Surrender now or be vanquished!

Vaki: Yeah, what he said.

Vastrom: Shut up Vaki.

(An alien ship touches down on the mansion’s lawn)

Keanu: Woah. That’s new.

Granite: Hey guys uh how about you don’t vanquish us.

Vastrom: How about we do what now? WE MUST VANQUISH YOU!

Girly Teengirl: Hey Triton is now a bad time to ask you out?

Triton: Nope!

Vaki: This planet is strange. Vornor! Get out here!

Vornor: Da, is good.

Triton; Wait why do you have a Russian accent?

Keanu: Hey guys can you please not vanquish us today?

Granite: Oop, here’s your challenge final six. Whoever can talk down the scary looking aliens wins and will nominate two people after the aliens leave and don’t kill us!

Steve: Wow you’re trying very hard.

Granite: I know.

Perch Perkins: Hello alien guys. Allow me to introduce myself. I’m Perch Perkins, and I’m quite well known here on Earth. See this is a beautiful planet teeming with life and wonder if you just go out and find it!

Vastrom: Amazing. What wonders will we find?

Perch Perkins: Well I mean in the oceans there’s the Mariana Trench, Mid-Atlantic Ridge, Mount Bikini Bottom, Sand Mountain, and more.

Vastrom: Ah. Our planet is just a flaming rock. Here there is water. We once conquered a world of water. I like you Perch, and I think we’ll stand down.

Keanu: Note to self… talk to Perch more.

Perch: Awesome! See guys, I just stopped a full fledged alien invasion!

Vornor: Da. We’ll be explorings da ocean now.

Granite: Wait it was that easy- hey aliens before you leave, why did you try to invade to begin with?

Vaki: Well a symbol of war appeared by our ship.

(Vornor holds up the birdie)

Granite: Oh uhhh well yeah here that’s a sport.

Vastrom: You must teach me this sport! Farewell terrans!

(The aliens leave, cut to the nomination ceremony)

Perch: I’ve been waiting a while to do this. Krabs, you’ve been silent for a while and the silence worries me.

Krabs: Aw man really? Well I guess I wasn’t given much of a personality but I’ll have more if the viewers let me continue!

Perch; I will also nominate HBRS because I have found his presence to be disturbingly annoying lately.

HBRS: What?

Perch: Yeah I’m done now.

Granite: Well guys, who’s going to be evicted? That’s up to you. Vote either Krabs or HBRS to get evicted next!

Who’s getting evicted next? HBRS Krabs