User blog:EmoNation/Gizoogle Presents: Fanon Hotel: Episode 1

'Fanon Hotel: Episode 1: Yo, wuz crackalackin', biatch? Yo ass is smokin Fanon Hotel'

Episode 1
Dat shiznit was tha big-ass day. It make me wanna hollar playa! 12 of tha cribz thugz was goin ta meetin each other up in thug up in Florida, n' they'd be stayin up in a gangbangin' fancy hotel fo' two weeks. They had went all up in nuff obstacles; startin a Kickstarter supposedly fo' orphans so they could pay fo' tha trip, n' managed ta convince they muthafathas they was just goin on a school trip, honest.

They all had they different wayz of gettin there; Lil' Willy went on a private jet, Ponyo skydived outta a plane as dat shiznit was passin Mexico, Jellyfish drove a gangbangin' flyin hoopty wit a "STAY OFF THE SAUCE" design, etc. Eventually, mah playas gots there, n' kicked it wit each other up in thug fo' tha last time.

"Um...hi, everyone." Ponyo holla'd.

"Yo, sexy." Lazaro holla'd. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Ponyo cringed. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Lazaro was just as perverted up in real game as da thug was online. Put ya muthafuckin choppers up if ya feelin dis shiznit!

"Uh, hi."

"Yo, Ponyo." Jellyfish holla'd, openin his suitcase full of Limp Bizkit n' Offsprin CDs. "This should take care of our noize fo' two weeks."

"Yo, Simon." Da Nerd holla'd. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! "H-asterisk-c-k."

"Uh, what?" Semen asked.

"H-asterisk-c-k."

"Yeah, dat don't straight-up work up in real game."

"Damn."

"Yo, Da Nerd." Topher holla'd.

"Yo, Toph." Da Nerd replied back.

So, basically mah playas introduced theyselves ta everyone, which was long n' drawn up n' not worth reading, so I be ust gonna skip ahead.

"So..." Ponyo started. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! This type'a shiznit happens all tha time. "...you muthafuckas wanna order room service?"

"Sure." Lazaro holla'd. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! "Do it come wit a cold-ass lil condom?"

"Shut up." Ponyo holla'd, hittin his ass on tha arm.

"Can we git pizzy?" Topher asked.

"Hold on, let me check up tha price." Ponyo holla'd, flippin all up in tha menu fo'sho yo. Her eyes practically fell tha fuck outta her head. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! "Holy shiznit son! $22 fo' a plain pepperoni pizzy, biatch? Ain't no muthafucka gots time fo' dis shit."

Ponyo closed tha book, leavin a lil note inside fo' tha next thug whoz ass stays up in dis room; ''Room steez be a ripoff. Don't waste yo' time. -Anonymous''

"Well, if you muthafuckas want pizzy, Dominoz probs delivers here." Ponyo holla'd, takin up her laptop n' goin ta tha Dominoz joint. "What do all you muthafuckas want?"

Da screams started.

"PEPPERONI PIZZA!"

"BONELESS CHICKEN!"

"HOT WINGS!"

"OVEN BAKED SANDWICH!"

"STUFFED CHEESY BREAD!"

"PENIS PIZZA!"

Ponyo turned ta Lazaro, whoz ass was clearly tha only thug whoz ass could've holla'd tha last one. "Thatz not a real pizzy."

"It should be." Lazaro replied.

So Ponyo dropped $300 of tha Kickstarter scrilla ($500,000 goal by tha way - it straight-up worked, suckers!) so mah playas could shiznit they faces wit whatever they hearts desired.

"So, muthafuckas, what tha fuck do you wanna do tomorrow?" Ponyo asked. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! "We could check up dat interactizzle museum downto-"

Ponyo stopped her sentence when she realized dat mah playas was comatose. Well shiiiit, it must've been a long-ass ride ta git here, so she understood they all needed they rest. One thang her dope ass did notice is dat Da Nerd fell tha fuck asleep on top of Simon. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Ponyo giggled n' took a picture wit her camera.

Lazaro snuck up behind her - apparently, not mah playas was asleep - n' fuckin started humpin' her n' shit. Ponyo jumped.

"So, is you ready?" Lazaro asked.

"Listen, Lazaro..." Ponyo started. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! This type'a shiznit happens all tha time. "...I just don't give a fuck if I be locked n loaded ta bust a nut on you up in real game."

"Come on, it aint dat much different from tha Internet."

"Except fo' tha STDs n' AIDS n' shiznit like dis shit."

Lazaro frowned. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! "Oh. I see."

Ponyo smiled. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! "Don't be like dis shit. Look, we've gots two weeks; if you can git a cold-ass lil condom up in two weeks, sure, I be all fo' dat shit."

CONDOMS! Lazaro thought yo. How tha fuck could be all kindsa wack as ta have forgot jimmy hats?

"Alright." Lazaro holla'd, headin off ta chill. Ponyo also head off ta chill yo, but not before readin tha sickest fuckin issue of Junjo Romantica wit her readin light dat freaky freaky biatch had brought.