The New Heroes (ADWSS Episode Transcript)

(The episode begins with SpongeBob watching the news)

TV: Bikini Bottom's population has increased by two! Which is rather rare considering that we're in the middle of nowhere.

SpongeBob: Yeah.....

TV: These two people are Raven and Sara, and they live at 128 Conch Street.

SpongeBob: Huh, I guess I'll go visit them.

Gary: Meow meow meow.

(subtitles appear, saying "Can I come Spongey?")

SpongeBob: No, you can't come.

Gary: Meow meow?

(subtitles appear, saying "Why not Spongey?")

SpongeBob: Because.... uh....... they.... are....... um..... allergic to snail shells. Bye! (exits the room)

TV: And Sara absolutely loves snails and owns one named Shelly.

Gary: Meow!

(subtitles appear, saying "Spongey!")

(Scene: Conch Street)

SpongeBob: (exits the pineapple, and walks torwards Sandy's house which is at the right, when he is at Sandy's he stops as he hears someone talking to him)

Sandy: Where are you going?

SpongeBob: To Raven and Sara's house.

Sandy: Who are THEY?

SpongeBob: Wow, does ANYBODY still watch the news on TV? (continues walking to the right, he then finds a house that is pink on the left side, and dark purple on the right side, he rings the doorbell on the house)

???: (in dull voice) Who is it?

???: (in annoying helium-like voice) Yay, a visitor! Isn't this exciting?

???: (dull voice) No.

(the door opens, to reveal a black-haired human wearing light purple clothing, and another human wearing a dark purple hoodie, they are both wearing helmets)

Person in dark purple hoodie: (in dull voice) Hello. Bye. (attempts to close the door, but the other person stops him)

Light purple clothed person: Raven! Well, um, hi, I'm Sara, and she is (points at the dark hooded person) Raven.

Raven: (in dull voice) Yipee.

Sara: So, what brings you here?

SpongeBob: Well, since you're my new neighbors, I was wondering if you'd come to my house so we could get to know each other.

Sara: That sounds wonderful!

Raven: (mocking Sara) That sounds (stops mocking Sara) lame.

Sara: (yelling so loudly it blows off part of Raven's cloak, showing a black dress and pale skin) IT SOUNDS WONDERFUL, RAVEN!

Raven: (scared and nevous, speaking quickly) Yes, um, that would be wonderful, heh heh, LET'S GO.

(Scene: Patrick's Rock)

TV: On September 7, Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy Show will air its last episode as it is CANCELLED!

Patrick: What? I couldn't hear that.

TV: CANCELLED!

Patrick: What? I couldn't hear that either.

TV: CANCELLED!

Patrick: WHAT?

TV: CANCELLED!

Patrick: Shut up, TV, I heard that.

TV: CANCELLED!

Patrick: (with unamused face, shuts off the TV)

(Scene: SpongeBob's House)

SpongeBob:..... and that's all of my house.

Sara: What an amazing house you have!

Raven: What a lame house you have.

Sara: Could you give us a tour of the rest of Bikini Bottom? We're new here and don't know this place so well.

Raven: No!

SpongeBob: Yes!

Raven: Egh.

(They go to the car, Raven and Sara get there first)

Raven: Huh, I'm hungry. (suddenly, her hand starts glowing black, and a black laser comes out of her hand which creates a portal that a sandwhich falls out of)

Sara: Hey, SpongeBob can't see us using our powers! (uses green lasers to fry the sandwhich, it burns into ashes)

Raven: Aw man.

SpongeBob: (enters car) Uh..... by any chance do you know how to drive?

Raven: But you're 28. Why do you want us to drive? I mean, do you really expect 15 year-olds to know how to drive?

Sara: Well you should, because I know how! (begins driving, but crashes into Patrick's Rock immediately) Oh wait.... I don't know how.

Patrick: Who are you people?

Raven: People that don't care about you. (leaves the rock, the boat falls onto Patrick)

Sara: Hello, I'm Sara! What's your name?

Patrick: Get this boat off of me.

Sara: Why hello, "Get this boat off of me"! Is that a foreign name or something?

Patrick: Yeah, it's French for "call a doctor".

Sara: How interesting! I never really paid attention in French class but it's always great to learn something new!

Patrick: Ow.

Sara: Is that your name in German? Never really paid attention in that class either.

Patrick: Argh...... my favorite show is cancelled, and now I'm in a car accident..... this is the worst day ever.

Sara: Is that your name in Chinese?

Patrick: (facepalms)

Raven: (comes back in) Sara, can I talk to you for a moment?

Sara: Okay! (steps on SpongeBob's head to exit with Raven)

SpongeBob: Ow!

Sara: (offscreen) You speak German too?!

(Scene: Raven and Sara)

Raven: That star guy said his favorite show was cancelled. He must have been talking about Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy!

Sara: Yeah, and.....

Raven: That means WE could make our OWN show and replace those elderly dummies!

Sara: Yeah! But wouldn't it be a bit sudden to just say "Guess what I have superpowers"?

SpongeBob: (comes outside) You have superpowers? (begins to yell) HEY EVERYBODY, RAVEN AND SARA HAVE-

Raven: (shuts SpongeBob's mouth) I see your point.... now that SpongeBob knows it's going to be even harder to keep this secret.

Patrick: (offscreen) You have superpowers? (yelling) HEY EVERBODY-

Sara: (runs at a superhuman speed towards Patrick in a green flash and shuts his mouth) Yeah...... you know Raven, I think we should have talked somewhere else more private.

Raven: Why?

Sara: Because we're in the middle of Bikini Bottom and I'm pretty sure everyone heard our conversation. Let's go now.

Raven: (creates a portal, they both jump in and fall into a portal above the portal) Oops.

(Raven and Sara gain so much momentum they begin to turn into a purple and black blur)

Raven: (manages to put another portal on a wall, so they fall through the portal and are launched out of the wall onto SpongeBob's face, which stretches back, she puts a portal on the ceiling of Patrick's rock and they are launched back torwards the portal, causing them to faceplant onto the floor of Patrick's Rock)

TV: It has just been discovered that Raven and Sara have superpowers because they were idiotic enough to have a private conversation in the middle of the city.

Sara: I told you!

TV: So we've decided to replace Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy show with the all-new Raven and Sara show!

Raven: I call 99% of cash made from the show!

Sara: Thank you for making such a fair deal!

Raven: (snickers)

(Scene: Raven and Sara Show set)

Director: In 3, 2, (points at them)

Raven: (sarcastically dances around, begins to sing horribly offkey on purpose)

It's the Raven and Sara Show

We save the world

One step at a time

Blah blah blah.....

Chorus: Annoying lyrics!

Sara: Blah blah blah......

Director: CUT!

Sara: Aw, what did we do wrong? Was it the song? I think Raven gave me a fake copy of the theme song lyrics. Again.

Director: RAVEN! (chases Raven out of view)

Patrick: Nice job!

Sara: Thanks, Call a doctor!

Patrick: (facepalms) IT'S PATRICK!

(episode ends)