The Golden Acorn (ADWSS Episode Transcript)


 * (Scene: Sandy's Treedome)
 * (Sandy, SpongeBob, and Patrick are sitting down, while Sandy's grandfather is standing in front of them)
 * Sandy's Grandfather: Now, let me tell you the story of -
 * SpongeBob: (coughs) Oh, um sorry.
 * Sandy's Grandfather: Let me tell you the story of -
 * Patrick: This story is so boring.
 * Sandy's Grandfather: (quickly) Let me tell you the story of the golden -
 * Sandy: (yawns)
 * Sandy's Grandfather: SILENCE!
 * Sandy: Why do we have to be silent?
 * Sandy's Grandfather: Because I say so. Now, let me tell you the story of the - HEY STOP IT!
 * SpongeBob: But...... what did we even do?
 * Sandy's Grandfather: Wow, you were actually silent! Moving on...... let me tell you the story of the Golden Aco-
 * Patrick: BORING!
 * Sandy's Grandfather: Argh.......
 * Narrator: (with card) Many annoying interruptions later.......
 * Sandy's Grandfather: A long, long, long, long, long, long, long time ago, in a galaxy not that far away, especially considering we're in the same galaxy where it happened, there was a happy squirrel trotting through the fields.....
 * (the scene cuts to the story as if it was happening in real life)
 * Happy Squirrel: La la la la laaaaa!
 * Patrick: (voice only) When suddenly he falls into a deep trench full of lava!
 * Happy Squirrel: (falls in a deep trench that is full of lava) HELP ME!
 * (scene cuts to real life, where Sandy's Grandfather is angry at Patrick)
 * Patrick: Hey, every story can use some action!
 * Sandy: Let's just get back to the story.
 * (the scene cuts back to the story)
 * Sandy's Grandfather: (voice only) When suddenly, the little squirrel found a golden acorn laying on the ground!
 * Happy Squirrel: (picks up golden acorn) Oooh..... shiny!
 * Sandy: (voice only) And then the golden acorn magically came alive and told the squirrel he was a magic acorn who could grant 3 wishes for him!
 * Golden Acorn: I can grant 3 wishes for you!
 * Happy Squirrel: AWESOME!
 * Sandy's Grandfather: (voice only) But then the squirrel wished he would go away because that's never going to be very convienient to the plot.
 * Happy Squirrel: I wish you would go away because you're not very convienient to the plot!
 * Golden Acorn: (sniffs) If that's how you feel..... (disappears)
 * Sandy's Grandfather: (voice only) Then another golden acorn that was not magical in any circumstances rolled down the hill next to him.
 * Golden Acorn 2: (rolls down hill next to the squirrel) Hello, I'm another golden acorn that's not magical in any circumstances!
 * Happy Squirrel: Then how are you talking?
 * Golden Acorn 2: Um...... never mind that.
 * Sandy's Grandfather: (voice only) He walked back home with the acorn to tell his parents what he found.
 * Happy Squirrel: La la la la laaaaa!
 * SpongeBob: (voice only) But then he saw a hot lady nearby and stopped and dropped the acorn and the acorn never was seen in the story again.
 * Hot Lady: Why, hello there.
 * Happy Squirrel: (drops acorn) WOAH.
 * Sandy's Grandfather: (voice only) BUT THEN the hot lady magically exploded and a third acorn appeared that was magical in no circumstances either.
 * Hot Lady: (explodes)
 * Happy Squirrel: (in shock) What the heck?
 * (another acorn rolls by)
 * Golden Acorn 3: Hi, I'm another acorn that's not magical and never will be!
 * Happy Squirrel: But then how are you talking?
 * Golden Acorn 3: Just go home and tell your parents about me!
 * Happy Squirrel: Okay..... (walks home, and opens the door) Hi mom! Hi dad!
 * Sandy: (voice only) His parents turned around to greet him, but they had been turned into fairies!
 * Mom & Dad: (flying around with their fairy wings) Hello! What is it?
 * Happy Squirrel: I found this cool golden acorn!
 * Mom: (takes acorn) I've heard these are very rare! I need to keep this safe! (locks inside a box) There.
 * Dad: I need to go out and run some errands, okay?
 * Mom: Bye sweetie! (prepares to kiss Dad on the cheek)
 * SpongeBob: (voice only) But before they could kiss, they returned to their squirrel form and then Mom turned into Sandy and Dad turned into me and we began to make out!
 * (the scene cuts to real life)
 * Sandy: (slaps SpongeBob's face)
 * SpongeBob: OW! I think I'm bleeding! Maybe a KISS will make it feel better!
 * Sandy: When pigs fly!
 * (in the background, a pig is seen with wings, flying around)
 * SpongeBob: Um.....
 * Sandy's Grandfather: (annoyed) Since you've entirely ruined the story and made it make no sense, I think I'd better just get to the point. Sandy, I'd like you to have the Golden Acorn now. (hands the golden acorn to Sandy)
 * Sandy: Oooh.... pretty. (accidentally drops the acorn, causing it to snap)
 * SpongeBob: Oh, this is bad. Your family's most prized possession has been broken. Maybe a kiss will make you feel better.
 * Sandy: (slaps SpongeBob)
 * (episode ends)