Law and Polar

Law and Polar is the second episode of SBFW Campsite, and the second in season 1.

Plot
Bong sues Polar when he portrays Bong as pregnant in his comic known as SBFW Go!.

Transcript
(the episode begins with an outside shot of the campsite. Cut to Polar drawing a comic)

Polar: Oh boy, this issue of SBFW Go! will be the best!

CrazySponge: (pops up) AM I IN IT?!

Polar: Uhh...sure.

CrazySponge: Thanks! (He goes away)

Polar: Hah, dumbass. He won’t be in this issue.

CrazySponge: (pops up again) HEY! I’m still here!

Polar: Ummm.. SECURITY! (two men come in and throw Crazy out the door)

CrazySponge: You have security? Where can I get that?

Polar: It’s on getsexysecurity.com. (covers his mouth) SHIT! WHY AM I HELPING YOU!

CrazySponge: Thanks, again! I hope it doesn’t lead me to a porn website! (He goes to his cabin and then searches it up on his computer.) HOLY SHITTO! I got a Hoopla boner right now! I need to hire someone from here NOW! (clicks on the sexiest security guard, which has big boobs) Now that I’m thinking, this (might) be a porn site.

(theme song. Cut to Polar giving away the newest issue of SBFW Go!)

Polar: New SBFW Go! issue! Read the dramatic episode, where Bong has a baby!

(Bong comes out of her house and sees Polar giving away copies of the new SBFW Go! comic)

Bong: Oh boy, a new issue of SBFW Go! I love these! (walks up to Polar) Hey, can I have one?!

Polar: Sure! (gives one copy to Bong)

Bong: Wait, let me see this… ‘’SBFW Go!: The Pregnancy Plot’’? What the f**k? (runs to her house and starts reading)

(1 hour later…)

Bong: ...And SpongeBot and Bong started taking care of the baby… The End. Oh, you stupid mothertucker!

Viewer: Wait, why didn’t you say motherf**ker?

Bong: Because this show is TV-14, you know.

Viewer: Screw this. I will go watch South Park!

Bong: Whatever, traitor. Screw off.

Viewer: (starts crying)

Bong: Quit crying, you big baby. This is why your dad left you.

Viewer: (flips off Bong and walks away)

Bong: Anyways, since Polar made a comic about me being pregnant, I will sue him!

(Cut to Polar in his lounge, watching Jaws)

Polar: Damn hell! This is scary as The Angry Birds Movie getting a goddamn sequel!

(Bong knocks on the door)

Polar: Who the hell is it this time?

Bong: Bing Bong.

Polar: What do you want?

Bong: (opens door) I’m here to… hold on… (grabs fork out of her pocket) sue you!

Polar: Is that a fork?

Bong: Yes it is, you dork!

Polar: Don’t make this a goddamn poem!

Bong: You know I had to do it to ‘em.

Polar: (sighs)

Bong: Anyway, here’s why I’m suing you. Because you fricking portrayed me as pregnant in your hit comic, SBFW Go!

Polar: I have one question. How are you suing me? It’s a comic, not like it’s a company, and I don’t make money off it.

Bong: It is a company! Made by PI, remember?!

Polar: Oh…, I forgot about that. (Bong goes to her cabin and calls a lawyer)

Bong: Oh yes, Mr. Poopy Boogerson! I need your help! I’m suing a guy for portraying me as pregnant in his comic! Be my lawyer!

Mr. Poopy Boogerson: (on phone) Of course!

Bong: Thanks!

(Later…)

Polar: La la de da, la la de da...

(Bong walks up and confronts Polar)

Bong: Polar, I have a lawyer, and we’re going to court.

Polar: WHAT!! Um, uh.. (looking around) Ah ha! Crazy, be my lawyer!

CrazySponge: Ok…

Bong: You clearly have no idea how this works.

CrazySponge: Yeah you’re right.

Bong: Ugh… this won’t work out.

(cut to Polar and Bong in court with their respective lawyers)

Polar: Okay, time for my speech. You seriously rootin’ for this girl? I mean, haven’t the creators of South Park made fun of Barbra Streisand? Haven’t they f**ked up Donald Trump in one episode? It’s called a F**KING JOKE.

Bong: And now for my speech. This guy is completely bogus. You wanna know why? It’s because he’s personally attacking me with his stupid comic about me being pregnant. He should’ve at least asked for permission first.

Mr. Poopy Boogerson: I agree with Bong. She is right about it. He should have at least asked permission for that.

CrazySponge: Objection! As Polar said, it’s fair use and it’s a joke. Why the hell is Bong suing him? (Whispers to himself) How do I know these things? I never learned how to be a lawyer!

Mr. Poopy Boogerson: Objection objection! Uhh… I honestly have no idea what to say right now.

Bong: Aw come on, really? You’re my damn lawyer. (kicks Boogerson with her leg) Work, goddammit!

Mr. Poopy Boogerson: (makes weird creaking sounds) FLKSDJFSDLKFJSLKFJSDLFJSDLKFJSDLKFJSDKLFJSDLKFJSLKDFJSDFLKJLLDKDJF.

(Everyone is watching as Poopy Boogerson spazzes out, confused)

Polar: Thanks, Crazy. (turns to Bong) Looks like you gonna lose.

Bong: (flips him off)

Polar: (pause) That was for CrazySponge, right?

Bong: No it wasn’t, you dumbass. Don’t portray women like that in your shit comics only for immature guys like you!

Polar: It's a damn comic for God's sake!

Bong: It can influence this generation with its dumb morals and portrayals of… ninjas!

Polar: That's just a bunch of bullshit. It's just satire!

Bong: Yeah, but idiots like you think that stuff is true! That's why I'm suing you in the first place!

CrazySponge: How about we all calm down….either that or we all eat mountains.

Polar: Yeah, I guess.

Judge Penismith: I rule that Polar wins the case. It’s fair use. Like he said, it’s satire.

Bong: AW, FECES!

CrazySponge: First you say shit, now you don’t. I wonder why?

Bong: I thought it would be an iconic quote for my character.

(cut to Bong on her bed)

Bong: Damnit, I lost. I’m f**king terrible at these.

(someone knocks on her door)

Bong: Who the hell could that be?

(She opens the door and it’s revealed it’s Polar)

Bong: What the damn hell do you want?

Polar: I’m sorry for that dumb comic. I just realized I should be bashing these people I really hate.

Bong: Aw, it’s okay.

Polar: Thanks. Also, will you be my lawyer? I’m suing SeemsGood for portraying me as a person that gets sued in his comic, known as SBFW Campsite.

Bong: Okay!

(Cut to Polar knocking on SeemsGood’s door)

SeemsGood: Kommen!

(he opens the door and sees Polar)

SeemsGood: Oh hi Polar!

Polar: I’m suing you for portraying me as a sued person in SBFW Campsite!

SeemsGood: The bastard…

(The End)