Estranged

Estranged is the fourth episode of SBFW Quest. It aired October 15, 2018 and was written by CrazySponge and FireMatch.

Transcript
(The episode begins with Granite protesting against Overnight Success)

Granite: Overnight Success is unfair! Overnight Success is in there!

Purple: What the heck does that mean?

Granite: Overnight Success sucks!

Purple: I think it’s just mediocre.

Granite: (his head explodes) No it isn’t, and you know it!

Purple: Whatever.

(shouting is heard in the distance)

Granite: Did you hear that?

Purple: No.

Granite: I hear shouting.

(the shouting turns into words)

???: You’re banned from chat… FOREVER!

Granite: Ha, this’ll be an easy target. I’ve been weight lifting for years.

CheeseRoxTheWorld: You’re banned for being a SBFW user!

Granite: In your dreams! (punches Cheese in the crotch. Granite then starts getting dizzy for no reason and falls to the ground laughing. Cheese then grabs Granite’s dick and pulls on it, making him scream.)

Cheese: That’ll teach ya.

Granite: Wh- What the fuck just happened?!

Purple: You lost a fight, that’s what happened.

Granite: Yeah, that one didn’t count.

Purple: (laughs) What, do you think you can take on Golf yourself?

Granite: Yes, actually. And that’s exactly what I’ll do.

Purple: Wait wh-

(Cut to Rocky)

Rocky: Lee dee daa ding dong, bing bong I like trucks.

???: Hey Rocky!

Rocky: Huh? Who’s there?

???: It’s me, Jack Bradleyyyyyyyy!!!

Rocky: Oh lordy lord.

ISBSP: Hey there, Rock Boy!

Rocky: I told you a million times not to call me that. Now fuck off!

ISBSP: Nah.

Rocky: Why not?

ISBSP: Here. Take a look at this. (shoves a random piece of paper into Rocky’s face)

Rocky: Fuck off! (punches ISBSP right in the nose)

ISBSP: Ouch! That hurt!

Rocky: That’s what you get for being such a stalker. Now go!

ISBSP: No. (he makes a pouty face)

Rocky: Fine. Have it your way. I’ll just leave you here to starve.

ISBSP: Gimme food please.

Rocky: I’m leaving you here to die and that’s final.

ISBSP: Fine. (pouts harder and sheds a couple tears as Rocky leaves)

(Cut back to Purple and Crazy sitting by a giant tree)

Crazy: Wow that’s one giant tree.

Purps: Yeah, I didn’t know they had such big trees in the olden times.

Crazy: o

Purps: Oh.

CrazySponge: o™

Purps: Enough of this filler nonsense, we need to get up and do something.

CrazySponge: nah. lemme relax.

Purps: Come on, let’s go. (Stands up and starts walking, dragging Crazy by the foot)

CrazySponge: ugh i gotta use my legs?

Purps: You have them for a reason you know. Chop chop.

CrazySponge: i’ll have you know that this hoopla mask i’m wearing is really heavy.

Purps: Then go walk it off.

???: HEY HOOPLA!

CrazySponge: WHO THE FUCK SAID MY ALTER-EGO!

ISBSP: ME! JACK BRADLEYYYYYYYY!!!

CrazySponge: who?

ISBSP: You know, the one and only International SpongeBob SquarePants?

CrazySponge: are you like a guy from before i joined or something?

ISBSP: Probably.

CrazySponge: well then, what do you want?

ISBSP: I want you to help me with something.

CrazySponge: wat

ISBSP: Go kill Jasbre for me if you please.

CrazySponge: NO! I CAN’T AFFORD TO BE MUTED ON HIS SERVER AGAIN!

ISBSP: Well I’m banned from his server until 2020, could it possibly be any worse than that?

CrazySponge: yes it can.

ISBSP: Oh. Well in that case, go kill off King Jas please.

CrazySponge: can i kill someone else? like a minor user or something?

ISBSP: Depends on who it is.

CrazySponge: uhhhh

ISBSP: SPIT IT OUT BOI!

CrazySponge: you

ISBSP: Excuse me what the fuck?

CrazySponge: wait hold on i need to check if you become major in any other episodes of this series. (checks) well let’s see…

ISBSP: And?

CrazySponge: i’m sorry to say this but you are only in this one episode so that means i can kill you off.

ISBSP: (his face goes very red) WHY YOU! (anime punches CrazySponge into the air)

CrazySponge: dude i’m a god i can’t die i’m over ∞ years old.

ISBSP: Fuck.

CrazySponge: don’t punch me, this is all purple’s fault.

Purple133: What?

CrazySponge: o. Nothing. Well jack your time is up! Any last words? (pulls out an anime flaming laser gun sword and points at ISBSP)

ISBSP: DAMN YOU PURPLEEEEE!!!! (dies)

CrazySponge: WAIT I DIDN’T GET TO USE THIS ANIME WEAPON! (revives him)

ISBSP: I’M ALIV-

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAOAOKAAKOAOKAOKAOKOKAYFTAF!

(ded)

CrazySponge: well that was fun. and i did it without standing up! take that purple!

Purple133: Ugh.

(An ESB guard appears and sees that ISBSP is dead)

Anthony2306: Goddamn it! I wanted to kill him!

CrazySponge: sorry. he had the most beautiful last words; “i’m alivplslpldsabaoamsow”. such a beauty.

Anthony2306: Oh well. I guess I’ll have to do you instead.

Travis: Wait do me instead!-

(Episode ends abruptly)