Untitled SquarePants Family History

Untitled SquarePants Family History

While trapped in a panic room, SpongeBob tells tales of his ancestors.

Season: 4 Episode: 27

Total Episode Count: 77

'''Prod. no.''': 4ACX30

Featuring: SpongeBob SquarePants, Sandy Cheeks, Pearl Krabs, Patrick Star, Plankton, Squidward

Also Appearing: John Fishly, God, Chuggs, Ur-SpongeBob, Willie "Black-Eye" SquarePants, Nate SquarePants, Sandy Laura Bush Lynne Cheney Cheeks, Moses SquarePants, SpongeBob Hitler, Adolf Hitler, Danny Gans, Billy, Al Cowlings, Thomas from South Carolina, Ali Williams, Tobii, Fredingo, Johnmama, Herpesaur (DVD only)

Plot: Sandy is trying to get SpongeBob to brush his teeth when they hear a noise coming from downstairs. SpongeBob looks downstairs and find three robbers in balaclavas. The whole gang wake up and Pearl startles SpongeBob and in a delayed response, he hits her in the head with the baseball bat he was carrying. The whole gang then flee to SpongeBob's panic room. It is a small steel room with boxes and TV monitors that can be used to watch every room in the house (a refrence to the movie Panic Room, but SpongeBob states he created it to get away from The Butterfly Effect). Unfortunately, the room has no phone, so SpongeBob decides to tell stories about the SquarePants family history.

These stories begin with the big bang, which is actually God farting through a lit liter. Next is the Paleolithic Age. Ur-SpongeBob invented the wheel, and then moved foward to the Bronze Age when Moses SquarePants led the Israelites to freedom.

SpongeBob also tells the story of black slave Nate SquarePants, as he pranked the captain of a slave ship by cutting the floor off around the Captain's bed and floating it out in the ocean so that he woke up, got out of bed and fell into the water. Nate went to become a slave to the Cheeks family (as in "SpongeBob SquarePants: Friend, Enemie...Brother?") and got married to Sandy's ancestor. Other stories include that of silent movie actor Black Eye SquarePants, and Adolf Hitler's annoying brother SpongeBob Hitler. Unfortunately, after telling the story of Nate SquarePants, SpongeBob accidentally activates the fire sprinklers with a flare gun, theatening to drown the gang. While the sprinklers are going off and filling the panic room with water, SpongeBob admits his extreme dislike of The Godfather, somethinf shocking that the rest of the gang argues with him about, considering all the talented cast in that movie and its following sequels.

Meanwhile, Pearl is sent down through a vent to get food. But SpongeBob talks to her thorugh a loudspeaker ("I see you in the kitchen, Pearl...") and the robbers find her capture her (although they mistake her for a boy). She hopes that they will rap* her, saying that she won't scream or struggle, but, horrified, they decline her advances. As the water is reaching its peak, John shows up and opens the door. All the water drains out of the room, saving their lives. John also mentions that he caught the crooks. The crook press charges of sexual harassment against Pearl, and she is taken down to the police station by John. Even though he keeps telling the gang that Pearl needs  a lawyer to fight the charges, they strangley ignore him. In the end, SpongEbob thinks that she is just going to a dance and tells her to enjoy herself, assuring Sandy she'll be fine.

Trivia

 * Another title for this is "The SquarePants Family History".

Rating
TV-14: DLSV

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