Defend the Crib: Part II

Defend the Crib: Part II is the fifth episode of the first season of Discord Crib.

Transcript
*vanessa creates a private group discord*

Jasbre: hurry up we need to devise a plan before we get caught

Matchy: caught by who?

Jasbre: whoever's up to this, pretty sure it's bigfoot though

SeemsGood: how?

Golfpecks: if he could get us banned on sbfw through discord, he can find us

Vanessa: lmaok

Jasbre: we need to make sure he doesn't take ov---

SBCA: guys, I have a confession...

koopsers joopsers: what is it?

SBCA: i'm SBC-gay

*message deleted by ???*

SeemsGood: wtf

SBCA: huh?

SBCA: um... my dick wasn't as big as i said it was

*message deleted by ???*

Vanessa: lol stop deleting your messages

SBCA: wtf that's not me

SBCA: let me try again

SBCA: i'm the one who hacked the perryfan account

*message deleted by ???*

SeemsGood: um

*SpongeBot678 has joined the private group chat*

Vanessa: who invited him?

SpongeBot: Hello, everyone. Good evening.

SBCA: he's still acting up

Matchy: Guys, we need to do something.

SeemsGood: i have a suggestion

SBCA: ?

SeemsGood: check out vanessa's new blog

SeemsGood: here https://deadcactuswalking.tumblr.com/post/172737688910/reviewing-the-charts-8th-april-2018-the-weeknd

Vanessa: finally someone with a bright idea

SpongeBot: Link detected, no malicious intent.

Jasbre: guys, I know what's happening

Philly: he's sent his nudes?

Jasbre: no, what i was gonna say was---

*jasbre checks the #nsfw channel at the crib*

Jasbre: (sees a picture spongebot sent of a cpu) wait what the fuck

*at the crib*

SpongeBot: Initial launch commencing...

Vanessa: @bigfoot tf are u doing to spongebot

Bigfoot: i've told you a thousand times, it's not me

Jasbre: then who the fuck is it??

SpongeBot: Initializing Bigfoot's takeover, administrator rights granted.

Matchy: you dumbass

SeemsGood: why on earth would you put your own fucking name in the code you inputed to spongebot??

Bigfoot: BLEH

Bigfoot: NONE OF YOU CAN DO SHIT NOW!!

SBCA: well, if you haven't noticed, you're not the only one with admin powers

*infinity war trailer theme plays*

Bigfoot: well, who else has? it's you against me. easy win, especially with spongebot.

Vanessa: i have

Philly: 3rd seed bitch

Bigfoot: what does that mean?

Matchy: it means sbca, philly, vanessa, and I are admins

SBCA: it's you against us

Bigfoot: you inferial bags of salt, I STILL HAVE SPONGEBOT

SpongeBot: input/Payload227

SpongeBot: @everyone BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH @everyone BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH @everyone BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH

SBCA: we...

SpongeBot: @everyone BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH

SBCA: must get back spongebot!

Jasbre: but how?

SpongeBot: @everyone BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH

SeemsGood: Lil SpongeBot

SpongeBot: BL---payload buffering...

SpongeBot: BLEHHHHHH--payload buffering...

SpongeBot: I BOW DOWN TO NO PROGRAMMER

Bigfoot: THEN I SHALL TAKE OVER THE ENTIRE INTERNET HAHAHAHAHA

Bigfoot: You think you can stop me?

Patrick: SpongeBot, what happened?

SpongeBob: Bigfoot cheated.

Bigfoot: Cheated? Oh, grow up. What, you think this is a game of kickball on the playground? You never had a chance to defeat me, fool! And you know why?

SpongeBot: Because you cheated?

Bigfoot: No, not because I cheated! Because I'm an expert troll. And you're just a bot. A stupid bot!

SpongeBot: I guess you're right, Bigfoot. I am just a bot.

Bigfoot: Of course I'm right. Okay, internet protocal payload one---

SpongeBot: And you know, I've been through a lot in the past eight days, five minutes--- whatever time since Chris Brown and Lil Dicky made themselves relevant again with Freaky Fuckass Cancer. And if I've learned anything during that time, It's that you are who you are.

Bigfoot: That's right. Okay, protocol...

SpongeBot: And no amount of mermaid magic... ...or garbage billboard number one hit... ...or some Asian that looks remotely Asian... can make me anything more than what I really am inside: A bot.

Bigfoot: That's great. Now, get back against the wall.

SpongeBot: [over @everyone] But that's okay.

Bigfoot: What? What's going on?

SpongeBot: Because I did what everyone said a bot couldn't do. I became an admin, and I finished the entirety of Freaky Friday, and I rode your mom's pussy, and I got out of your command.

Bigfoot: All right, we get the point.

SpongeBot: So, yeah, I'm a bot. And I'm also a goofball. And a wing nut. And a Knucklehead McSpazatron!

Bigfoot: ''[Freaky Friday goes down to #2 on the charts, FANDOM has stopped globalling people for dumbass reasons, and Travis ACTUALLY releases the Leader Plankton! movie]'' What's going on here?

SpongeBot: But most of all, I'm...

Bigfoot: Okay, settle down. Take it easy.

SpongeBot: I'm... I'm...

Bigfoot: What the scallop?!

SpongeBot: I'm Lil SpongeBot now, bitch

Vanessa: Aye, bitch we gon' diss the fuck outta Bigfoot tonight

SpongeBot: Aye, toxiglitch here with lil fuckin spongebot

'BIGFOOT DISS TRACK - LIL SPONGEBOT FEAT. TOXIGLITCH & A$AP AD0B0' Vanessa:  When you ain't got a big dick, your head is thick

Compensate that shit, with a Bigfoot

Don't pussyfoot, or you'll be sent caput

You'll be hard-put to input

Any intelligence in that "brain" of yours

Spamming @everyone is how you got your fame, of course, you whore

But you're infamous, this diss is intricate

You're lickin' it - and by 'it', I mean Jasbre's toes

Bigfoot underfoot, ain't gettin' no hoes

So he'll stick to his friend Scopey, who's on the ropeys

If he steps to me, I'll be eatin' toe-meat

So show me!

Show me the leaked pics, you nostril-frick,

SpongeBot: (someone called me?)

Fuck you all, like I'm JackyHacky

True commandments God spoke, flow must not be wacky

I'm gon' put Bigfoot in a comatose, ay

As toxi would say

Huis, Duis, Luis, Hong Kong Phuis, he's my bro, ay

We gon' burn you on a barbecue

Nigga, you're so dirty, I could fart a you

When you're down in the ground, remember us

It's a must, you're old dust, Pluto could bust

A move, we could take a hundred of you

Me, toxi, 11 making hits, this shit ain't a fluke, ay

SBCA: And you know I'm in the scene, yo

When you hear some Filipino

Talon sa balon, ay (jump off a cliff bitch, ay)

Mukha kang balbon, ay (u fat ass lookin bitch, ay)

Fuckin’ with me, ulol, ay (fukcin' with me, bullshit, ay)

Can’t even try to jakol, ay (can't even try to fap, ay)

Smokin’ you like katol, ay

Can’t keep you outta the flames, ay

Fuck you so hard, EJK

Tangina mo, FCK (fuck you bitch, fck)

Vanessa:  Of Jonas, delete that shit 'fore your boners arise

Oh, my! I know you're going gay for that Shaggy guy

Scooby-Doo, you're spooky, dude

It's kinda scary how you don't care-y

About your aroma that everyone's smellin'

It's that Scooby-Doodie, use this foam, anyone's sellin'

You're the type of guy who would definitely lie

About smoking weed and 'cess

To impress your friends

You're the type of goose, who is worthy of a noose

Wrapped around your neck

That this oakleaf goosefoot better check

While I'm getting seven figures

And your boner for Jonas is getting bigger

And your head is getting denser and thicker

We're just like "fuck you, dick-licker

We ain't got time for you...

n-words."

Jasbre:  hey look over there

Matchy:  tf happened to bigfoot

SeemsGood:  um, he's up in flames

Bigfoot:  BLEHHH BLEHHH BLEHHH (bigfoot disintegrates in flames)

SeemsGood: you guys dissed bigfoot into oblivion

SpongeBot: yes

SpongeBot: yes we did