Jailbird

Transcript
(Camera zooms in and shows a prison cell with EB inside wearing an orange jumpsuit; a prison guard walks by)

   

Guard: Good morning Inmate 7133. Please step aside as I inspect your room.

   

EB: Okay.

   

(EB steps outside of his cell while the guard isn’t looking)

   

Guard: 7133, get back into your cell now.

   

EB: I’m afraid I can’t do that, I have a show to host.

   

Guard: (into walker-talkie) we have an issue with innate 7133, please send backup.

   

EB: Goodbye.

   

(EB closes the door on the guard and traps him in the cell)

   

Guard: (sees more guards) over here!

   

EB: Goodbye everyone!

   

(A diamond pickaxe comes throw the ground and Steve emerges. Then he plants TNT and blows up the escape route so they won’t be followed as him and EB walk through a tunnel)

   

EB: Thanks Steve, you get a raise.

   

Steve: You don’t pay me.

   

EB: Oh yeah that’s right. Did you gather the contestants?

   

Steve: Yes. How much money do you have in the bank?

   

EB: Around $10 million, I made a YouTube video saying I had a terminal disease called Stevitis and made a lot of money on Patreon.

   

Steve: Oh ni- Wait a second!

   

(One mental breakdown later)

   

Steve: okay I came to the conclusion that I don’t care.

   

EB: Nice. Well let’s go challenge the duos.

   

(EB arrives and everyone stares at him)

   

EB: I see Steve already split you into duos. Let’s see who do we have? Gary and Spot, Dan and Bot, haha that rhymes.

   

Dan; I don’t care.

   

EB: Wow okay then. We also have Bob the Builder and Sonic? Wow!

   

Sonic: My movie got delayed so I guess I’m stuck here until my redesign is done.

   

Bob TB: You look like you’ve seen shit Sonic.

   

Sonic: Woah, potty mouth!

   

Bob TB: No I fix the potties you idiot.

   

EB: Bob Ross, who I wanted to return, and Monty P. Moneybags. I guess that makes sense.

   

Monty: He’s making us both rich!

   

EB: Pearl and Adam, which makes no sense but okay.

   

Pearl: You make no sense.

   

EB: True. Fred and Nat are here.

   

Fred: MY LEG! Also, weren’t you in jail?

   

EB: Yeah, but I couldn’t let Steve take over the show, that would end badly.

   

(EB has a random Vietnam flashback)

   

Nat: Hey you still with us here?

   

EB; Sorry. Calmstar and Noseward, aka photoshop dissapoinments.

   

Noseward: Gee sorry! I have a cult to control anyways. Well in another dimension anyways.

   

Calmstar: Hey bro, chill out, smoke weed.

   

EB: Oooooook. Final duo is GreyBob and SpongeClone. Because putting a depressed sad sack and psychotic pyromaniac together is a good idea.

   

SpongeClone: It is!

   

EB: Alright, time for your first challenge of the season. You and your partner will each have full body armor and run across this minefield. First duo to make it across gets to nominate two duos for elimination tonight.

   

(Steve equips everyone with diamond armor)

   

Steve: Here you go!

   

(Everyone runs into the minefield; Bob the Builder gets blown back into Sonic, Spot, and Monty)

   

Monty: Hey watch it bub!

   

Pear: Yeah whatever he said!

   

Bob TB: You’re not even over here!

   

Pearl: I don’t care!

   

(Pearl steps on a mine)

   

Pearl: Ahhhh!

   

Noseward: Wait is she the only girl out here?

   

Gary: Meow!

   

Spot; Ruff!

   

EB: Yes.

   

Calmstar: Noseward stop worrying, we’ll be fine!

   

(Calmstar steps directly on a landmine and it breaks through his armor)

   

Calmstar: I can repair it.

   

(GreyBob intentionally triggers four mines around him)

   

SpongeClone: GreyBob! No!!!

   

(SpongeClone absorbs all the mines)

   

GreyBob: You know what, I actually do want the million at the end of this game.

   

(GreyBob runs across the minefield without tripping another mine)

   

EB: GreyBob is almost to the other side, he could win!

   

(GreyBob crosses onto the other side)

   

Steve: GreyBob and SpongeClone are our winners! They will nominate two duos tonight.

   

(Dramatic music plays as the camera zooms in on the table)

   

SpongeClone: For our first nomination, we’re nominating Bob the Builder and Sonic for being a serious threat.

   

GreyBob: Mhm mhm. For our second nomination, we nominate Fred and Nat.

   

Fred: MY LEG!

   

Nat: Oh hush up.

EB: Well you heard it here first folks, I’m now a fugitive of the law. Anyways, go vote for who you any to be eliminated!

Who leaves season three first? Bob the Builder and Sonic Fred and Nat