User blog:SuperFanon'D!/this was not a good idea

So my first intention was to edit the writing in the first Patrick's Funtastic Life episode because it was kinda outdated, but I ended up making it a bit too... edgy. And self-aware. Thankfully I didn't go with this version, but here's what I wrote anyway.

'''also nsfw-ish warning? i guess? idk'''


 * [the episode begins in Jellyfish Fields, SpongeBob and Patrick are jellyfishing but don’t appear to be having fun, they sit down]


 * Patrick: SpongeBob, is it just me, or is jellyfishing suddenly just… boring?


 * SpongeBob: We need something… new. Something… spicy.


 * Patrick: Yeah. Like cayenne.


 * SpongeBob: Maybe we can just do jellyfishing another way?


 * Patrick: Yeah, spice it up like ghost pepper.


 * SpongeBob: Patrick, why are you using types of spices as an analogy to inventing new jellyfishing methods?
 * Patrick: Um... because I like spicy food?
 * [SpongeBob looks at Patrick with an annoyed face]
 * Patrick: Because I don't know how else to describe it?
 * [SpongeBob is still looking at Patrick with the same annoyed face]
 * Patrick: Fine, because my lines are poorly written.
 * SpongeBob: Yeah, I know right? You'd be the last one to use self-aware humor in any sort of spin-off with good writing.


 * [SpongeBob throws a paper airplane, bored. The paper airplane catches a jellyfish, and a lightbulb appears over Patrick’s head]


 * Patrick: Airyfishing.


 * SpongeBob: Scaryfishing? Patrick, it’s not Halloween yet. You need eat other things than candy, you're gaining weight. You fat idiot. Now make a poorly written joke about how I obviously just misheard you.


 * Patrick: No, not SCARYfishing, AIRYfishing.


 * SpongeBob: Well, how do you do that?


 * Patrick: It’s simple! I’ll show you!


 * [Instruments start playing, confusing SpongeBob, Patrick takes a microphone from his pocket and begins to sing]


 * Patrick: You find a jellyfish and try to catch it, jump up in the air, then toss your net on it, quick SpongeBob, go and catch it!


 * SpongeBob: Wait, wha-


 * [A net and jellyfish collide with SpongeBob’s face and he is zapped]


 * Patrick: Whoops, you missed! We better try it another way! Jump up in the air and backflip over it, then catch it right in mid-air!


 * [Patrick does everything he sang, SpongeBob tries to imitate this but does not backflip over it and lands on it, the jellyfish gets inside one of his holes and zaps his entire body]


 * Patrick: It looks like you should take some time to develop your skills more, but I think this thing’s getting popular now!


 * [A crowd of fish is seen, admiring his jellyfishing style]


 * SpongeBob: Does anyone even know why he’s singing?


 * Jellyfish: Just makes it more spicy, like cayenne.
 * SpongeBob: I will shoot you, random jellyfish.


 * [the jellyfish zaps SpongeBob]


 * SpongeBob: This is surprisingly popular for a jellyfishing style that hasn’t existed for even a single minute. We should show everyone this at JellyCon!


 * Patrick: You’re right, my friend, I guess we should put this song to an end!


 * SpongeBob: You got that right, I can feel my mouth burning from the cayenne.


 * [the scene cuts to Patrick and SpongeBob at JellyCon, about to step onto a stage with a crowd of jellyfishers and paparazzi surrounding it, cheering wildly]


 * Patrick: Are you sure about this, SpongeBob?


 * SpongeBob: Trust me, Pat, they'll love it. As long as we don't show you on the stage. You fat idiot. I'm taking credit for this.
 * Patrick: SpongeBob, I'd appreciate it if you stop calling me a fat idiot, it's not my fault that I'm so poorly written.


 * [SpongeBob and Patrick step onto the stage, finally, causing the crowd to cheer even more loudly]


 * SpongeBob: Hey, ladies and gentlefish! Today I want to demonstrate a new kind of jellyfishing that I've invented all by myself!


 * Patrick: Seriously? Mentioning that you invented it all by yourself is


 * [SpongeBob kicks Patrick, causing him to fall on the floor, he continues talking as if he didn't do anything]


 * SpongeBob: It's amazing, watch!


 * [SpongeBob releases a jellyfish from a jar he is holding, he takes a net from his pocket, closes his eyes and backflips over the jellyfish and catches it in mid-air]


 * SpongeBob: I call it "Airyfishing". Just catch a jellyfish in mid-air and do some stunts for pizazz. HOORAY FOR AIRYFISHING! THE SPORT OF PIZAZZ AND LOUD SHOUTING!


 * [SpongeBob jumps into the crowd, they catch him, an overhead view of the crowd is seen with several posters being held saying "Go Airyfishing", "I Heart SpongeBob", etc., he is taken out of the door, leaving JellyCon empty with the exception of Patrick, the lights go out]


 * Patrick: SpongeBob’s taking all the credit! What should I do? I’ll need some help… from someone kind, someone helpful, someone brave, someone-


 * [the scene cuts to Squidward’s house abruptly]


 * Squidward: NO.


 * Patrick: What?


 * Squidward: You fat idiot, how poorly written are you? Why would I help you ever?


 * Patrick: I'll shoot you.


 * Squidward: Please don't kill me.


 * Patrick: Only if you help me.


 * Squidward: Ugh, fine.


 * Patrick: To SpongeBob’s house!


 * [the camera reveals that SpongeBob’s house has fans all around it, trying to get in]


 * Squidward: Is this going to be really worth it for my clarinet?


 * Patrick: Trust me, it will be.


 * [Patrick takes a grappling hook and holds Squidward, he hooks onto the pineapple and they are launched toward it, smacking their faces on the walls and breaking the wall into the pineapple, where they see SpongeBob, in a trance-like position, and Sandy is there as well]


 * Sandy: Oh no. Oh no, no, no.


 * Patrick: Sandy? What are you doing here?


 * Sandy: I wondered why there were so many people here, so I karate-chopped a path through them fish and got inside. I found him like this. He looks as if he’s in some sorta trance. I used a device to check him out, and apparently the fame of this new jellyfishing style has messed up his head. I need you to travel inside his mind and awaken him from the trance!


 * Squidward: So explain to me again why there’s some science-whiz squirrel with a Texas accent here? That apparently knows karate?


 * Patrick: Where?


 * Sandy: Right here, you idiot!


 * Patrick: Where is here?


 * Sandy: Oh, would you shut up, you poorly written fat idiot!
 * Patrick: Well geez, Sandy, I think you're being a little hypocritical there, you have even worse lines than me in some of these episo-
 * Sandy: I'll shoot you.


 * [Sandy zaps them with her handheld invention she had in her pocket, the scene cuts to SpongeBob’s mind, which is a yellow place with bubbles everywhere that appear to have knowledge in them, but black rays are shooting them, Patrick and Squidward are floating in this area]


 * Squidward: So this is SpongeBob’s mind? Wow, he’s even dumber than I thought!


 * Patrick: Do you want your clarinet or not?


 * Squidward: I mean, wow, he’s so smart, look at all his knowledge. Oh look, he knows 2+2 is 4, he’s a genius.


 * [Patrick looks at him with a face that appears unamused, with Squidward smiling nervously, but then Patrick smiles]


 * Patrick: Thanks for complimenting SpongeBob.


 * Squidward: I'm done with this writing, how poorly written is this worthless pink son of a-


 * Patrick: I WILL SHOOT.


 * Squidward: Uh, what’s that?


 * [Squidward points to an unusually large “knowledge bubble”, Patrick is amazed by this]


 * Patrick: Pretty…


 * [Patrick accidentally pops the bubble, unleashing a black ghost-like figure]


 * Ghostly Figure: I am Fame.


 * Patrick: Oh, so you mean the thing that made SpongeBob totally wacky?


 * Fame: Yep.


 * Patrick: Nice to meet you.


 * Squidward: This writing omg lmao xdddd owo what's th-


 * [Patrick punches Squidward in the face, destroying him, the scene cuts to SpongeBob, who opens his eyes, and Patrick and Fame are beside him]


 * Patrick: SpongeBob?


 * SpongeBob: Patrick?


 * [SpongeBob punches Patrick in the face]


 * SpongeBob: Fat idiot, I WILL SHOOT Y-


 * [Sandy kills everyone]


 * Sandy: Okay, now get out of here, the episode should be over.


 * [Sandy holds a gun to her head]


 * Jellyfish: Now that’s spicy, like cayenne.


 * [Sandy shoots the Jellyfish, then herself]