Just Another Gold Medal

Just Another Gold Medal is the first episode of the fourth season of Basket Sponge. This episode is the 61st episode overall.

Plot
After LeBron's death, everyone is underwhelmed to find that someone is eager to replace him in the role. So, who is it? Well... find out in the first part of the Season 4 Premiere!

Transcript
[We start the episode with LeBron recording a message to someone. Before he died.]

LeBron: Hi, I can’t believe I’m doing this. But I need you, we all need you man. I’ve held it off for long enough. I’d like you to do replace me in a way. I think you might be the only person I can think of to do so. Yeah, I think you’ll make the team better.

[The message ends. We then see that Kobe Bryant was listening to it the whole time.]

Kobe: I remember when I substituted for him as coach. We went undefeated, and now that I’m retired from playing, maybe coaching is the next step for me. Nothing’s stopping me.

[Another message comes on.]

Unknown Man: Hi, Mr Bryant. Erm… the Olympic officials want you for Rio.

Kobe: This time, I’m not accepting. To hell with the Olympics. I’ve won ‘em twice already. Three times ain’t the charm. Plus, I’ve got five NBA rings, that’s more rings than Sonic the goddamn Hedgehog can hold. For now, I’m headed down - down to Bikini Bottom.

[While Kobe’s getting ready for his new position with the Bikini Bottom Bulldogs, LeBron’s continuing to pursue his NBA career.]

TV Announcer: Steph Curry, trying to get past LeBron. Curry post fadeaway, for three---and it’s blocked by LeBron! LeBron on the fast break and woah! A monster dunk for LeBron James, he’s got 36 points tonight.

(After the game)

Interviewer: LeBron, you defeated the Warriors; 105-93. I know you’re really happy about this. Who would you like to give a shoutout to?

LeBron: Kobe Bryant. Kobe, good luck with the Bulldogs.

Interviewer: Oh, you own bulldogs? Dang, you’re showing your toughness really good.

LeBron: Um...yeah! Let’s go with that.

Interviewer: Okaaay...now back to the ESPN studio.

[The ESPN studio’s having... issues.]

Technician: (whispers to the Interviewer) There are some...technical difficulties going on right now, just end the show here.

Interviewer: Alrighty then.

[Kobe is watching the news broadcast on his iPad on the plane as the plane stops.]

Captain: This is Captain Louis Mackintosh and we have now approached the land of Bikini Atoll. Now, we need David Hasselhoff to use his turbo launcher abs, or muscular boobies, if you will, to send you down to Bikini Bottom, like in the movie!

Kobe: David Hasselhoff? Am I on Baywatch or something? What movie do you mean?

Captain: The SpongeBob Movie, sir.

Kobe: Oh god no, only true souls have witnessed the watchings of The SpongeBob Movie. Thank the Lord I didn’t.

Hasselhoff: Now, Kobe I need you to hop onto my muscular boobies---

Kobe: NO! I’ll just take the submarine.

Captain: Oh yeah, I forgot about that.

[ONE HASSELHOFF LATER.]

[Kobe glides into the gym with the Space Jam theme.]

Patrick: Aw man, I wanted Bill Murray.

SpongeBob: Patrick, you've been wanting Bill Murray since the new Ghostbusters film.

Patrick: That's one number I ain't calling.

Kobe: Sponge dude, turn that crap off. I’m dying from the 90’s it’s giving me.

[Patrick punches the CD.]

Larry: So Kobe, give us some important news…

Kobe: I would be able to, but you’re piercing my nipple with your claw.

Larry: Oh. Sorry about that.

Kobe: Anyway, I have a big announcement to give today.

SpongeBob: (whispers to Patrick) I hope it’s bigger than Larry’s---

Squidward: Oh shut up, you immature simpletons.

Mr. Krabs: So what’s the announcement?

Kobe: First off, I’d just like to say-- Welcome to Season 4.

Patrick: Of what?

Kobe: My leg surgeries. Now, forget about that, what I’m really here for is to talk about something more important than that.

Patrick: Season 5?

[Everyone gasps!]

Kobe: Seaso---NO! WILL YOU KEEP QUIET! Okay, now I need to tell you all that…

Patrick: You’ll be in Space Jam 2, too?

Kobe: Larry, please quiet down Patrick. I wasn’t even in it.

Larry: Aye aye, captain. (mails Patrick to Cleveland)

Kobe: Y--you just mailed him to Cleveland.

SpongeBob: We do that every year.

Kobe: Anyway, I’ll cut to the chase. I’ll be your new head coach. Just like how I was your substitute coach for a few weeks some time ago. And this team will have the same Mamba Mentality that I had. We’ll be taking Ws from now on. No Ls. Do you hear me? NO Ls.

SpongeBob: (quietly) Yes! We’ll be winning for days. 82-0, just like how the Golden State Warriors won’t go this year.

Gary: Mer meow, meow.

Kobe: I like the enthusiasm. But now, we can never be sure of wins. It takes goddamn practice to be perfect, to begin a legend, to begin a new era. With all the blue balls and the parting of ways, you can never expect anything in this game. In this game, failure is not an option.

Mr. Krabs: So why did you decline the Olympics for us?

Kobe: It’s more of a story about friendship. Besides, it’s just another gold medal. Like that’s worth anything anymore.

Patrick: Dang, that’s touching.

Kobe: Wait, how the hell are you here? Oh wait, I have a better way to get rid of you.

Larry: Mail him to Golden State?

Kobe: What? No, I’ll call my friends. Shaq, Chuck! Come over and feast on this pink starfish.

Patrick: Shaq? Chuck? (looks at them) But those aren’t guys, those are snakes!

Kobe: Those are my pet black mambas.

[Patrick screams as he runs out of the gym.]

Kobe: Well, we’ve got that issue to solve. [looks at phone] Wait, there was another message LeBron sent along with the first one.

LeBron: Yo, Kobe. My man. I’ve attached a video for the guys to watch in the message I’ve sent earlier. Please show it to them.

Kobe: Yo guys, LeBron actually sent me another video. I guess he wants me to show it to you. Huddle up.

[Video plays showing Sun Jeong’s leaked footage of him in the shower from the episode “Leaked Footage Reel”]

Squidward: (eyeballs melt and drop on the floor)

Kobe: Oh damn, wrong video. (reads address) It was sent to me by...Patrick?!

Patrick: (runs back into the gym) Dang, those snakes gave me a good run!

SpongeBob: Patrick, what were you doing with Sun Jeong’s leaked videos?

Patrick: LeBron sent them to me.

[everyone stares at him.]

Patrick: He always like to send me stuff.

SpongeBob: (shakes his head) Anyway, let’s just watch LeBron’s real video.

[To Be Continued...]