Close Call (ADWSS Transcript)

(Scene: Krusty Krab)

Squidward: Welcome to the most horrible resteraunt in the world. The Krusty Krab. (sighs) May I take your order?

Fish 1: I'll have a small Krabby Patty with no pickles, lettuce or tomato with hot sauce.

Squidward: That'll be $2.29.

Fish 1: (hands Squidward money)

Squidward: (puts head through the window to SpongeBob's station) SpongeBob, small Krabby Patty with no pickles, lettuce, or tomato! And hot sauce, too!

SpongeBob: Here! (hands Squidward a patty)

Squidward: How did you make that so fast?

SpongeBob: Make what so fast?

Squidward: (angrily) The patty!

SpongeBob: What patty?

Squidward: (with veins visible) The one you just gave me!

SpongeBob: Which one I just gave you?

Squidward: THE HOT SAUCE PATTY!

(camera zooms back to the table in the kitchen where the lettuce and tomatoes are as the arguement between SpongeBob and Squidward fades out, suddenly Plankton jumps into the scene, who is wearing an earpiece)

Plankton: Perfect! Those two are distracted! Activate the sound, Karen!

Karen (through earpiece) Got it. (imitates a fish voice, and speaks loudly) This food tastes horrible!

(Scene: Mr. Krabs' Office)

Mr. Krabs: Oh no! An unsatisfied customer! (runs out to the main room)

(Scene: Kitchen)

Plankton: Karen, run!

(camera cuts to the main room, where Karen is seen speeding into the office, then looks under the carpet and finds a note)

Karen: The vault code is 42, 98, 11, 72, 9.

(Scene: Ktichen)

Plankton: Got it! (puts on beanie propeller hat, which he uses to fly on top of the safe, begins to turn the dial) 42.... 98.... 11.... 72..... and 9. (the vault opens to reveal the formula, which he jumps down to and takes down to the floor while closing the vault door, he runs to a floor arivent, which he climbs up and crawls out the right side of the Krusty Krab) Yes! I've done it! I've stolen the formula! (runs to the Chum Bucket, where Karen is waiting) Karen, the secret formula is.... (opens the formula) One ounce of-

Mr. Krabs: (runs in, and jumps torwards Plankton in slow motion) Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo-

Plankton: How are you jumping that slow?

Mr. Krabs: (falls to the ground on his face, and takes the formula from Plankton) Nice try, Plankton.

Plankton: Krabs, come on! I was so close! Why don't you just finally surrender?

Karen: Because you're an absolute failure who nobody will surrender to?

Plankton: Shut up, you absolute failure's wife.

Karen: Wife? You hacked me with your stupid microchip that made me propose to you!

Plankton: Hey, who can't fall for a touchscreen computer?

Karen: I'm not touchscreen, but I would be if you would for once let me update!

Plankton: I don't let you update because I love you just the way you are, sweetie.

Karen: Yeah right. (kicks Plankton onto the street) Get outta here, runt! (slams doors shut) Now I'm gonna find out if that cute laptop from high school is still single.

Mr. Krabs: (walks out of the door, and steps on Plankton on his way to the Krusty Krab)

Plankton: Watch your steps, you-

(a bus runs over Plankton)

Plankton: OW!

(Scene: Krusty Krab)

Mr. Krabs: (SpongeBob and Squidward are sitting in chairs nearby) So, Plankton has been as close as ever to getting my formula. We'll need to set up a defense system so he gets no more smart ideas. Got it?

(camera reveals SpongeBob and Squidward are gone)

Mr. Krabs: I guess I'll just have to figure out something myself.

Plankton: (holding formula) Better figure out something quick!

Mr. Krabs: Augh! (jumps onto Plankton, who disappears and reappears to the right of Mr. Krabs) Huh?

Plankton: You'll never stop me!

(Mr. Krabs keeps on trying to jump onto Plankton, while Plankton teleports out of the way for about twenty seconds)

Mr. Krabs: I'll need some advice on how to stop Plankton. (runs into the kitchen) Boys, I need help stopping-

Squidward: (projecting a hologram of Plankton into the main room)

Mr. Krabs: Squidward!

SpongeBob: (in Plankton voice) Krabs, I'm getting away! Last chance!

Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob!

Plankton: (offscreen) I'm getting away!

Mr. Krabs: Nice try, SpongeBob.

Squidward: Um.... Mr. Krabs.... I think that really was Plankton.

Mr. Krabs: Augh! (runs out the door) Come back here, Plankton!

SpongeBob: So do I get that magical pony you promised me for doing the voice?

Squdiward: No.

SpongeBob: You lied to me!

Squidward: Well, life is full of lies, get used to it!

SpongeBob: Name one lie in life. I bet you can't.

Squidward: The cake. The cake is a lie.

SpongeBob: I'll have you know that I used noteclip and I-

Squidward: No, I mean the cake I gave for you last year on your birthday was actually plastic.

SpongeBob: Eh, that's okay. Patrick ate all of that cake anyway.

Patrick: (comes in scene) Squidward, can I have more plastic cake?

Squidward: How about plastic pie?

Patrick: Sure!

Squidward: (throws a pie onto Patrick's face)

Patrick: Wow! Plastic food is (in musical voice) plastically delicious!

SpongeBob: That was actually a real pie, Squidward.

Patrick: You lied to me! (punches Squidward in the face)

(the episode fades to black, yet it does not end, Karen comes into the black screen)

Karen: Yay! The cute laptop's still single!

Plankton: (offscreen) I'm warning you, if you ask him out it's the flamethrower you'll get!

Karen: AUGH! (runs out of scene)

(the episode ends)

Rate-An-Episode!
How did you like this episode? Rate it on a scale of 10. One quintillion 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 0 Negative two thousand and eight