Scythe of Death, Part One

Shocking Revelations is the twenty-fifth episode of SBFW Quest. It aired on September 25, 2019 and was written by FireMatch.

Transcript
(Ingot is standing alongside Travis and Ian)

Ingot: CHARGE!

(The three start Naruto running towards the Fanonland castle)

Jasbre: Aw shit. Again.

Cici: What are we gonna do, King Jasbre?

Jasbre: I dunno, but it won’t be pretty.

Crazy: MY HOUSE! (he says this as his house burns down from a torch)

Ingot: THAT’S WHAT YOU GET FOR SLEEPING WITH MY WIFE!

Crazy: You’re married?

Ingot: Uh… no.

Crazy: o. You married to yourself then?

Ingot: NO! Just… SHUT UP!

Ian: Sorry to interrupt, but I think Travis is down.

Travis: Damn… FOOLS! I’ll get you next time, Tim!

Matchy: But that’s not my-

Ingot: Goddamnit! One of our members are down. Time for backup. (silence)

Ian: You didn’t bring any backup, did you?

Ingot: Nope.

Ian: Well shit.

Rocky: Hi guys what’s up- OH MY GOODNESS!

Purple: You’re late to everything, aren’t you?

Rocky: Maybe.

Dan: Damn fool, you haven’t even written for me in months! Anyways, we need to fight back. But how? (Jeopardy music plays as everyone thinks of a plan)

Crazy: I got it! (everyone looks at him) We summon the giant monkey man from the ninth dimension and wipe out Ingot! (everyone groans)

Jasbre: That idea is legit retarded.

Crazy: Hey! I don’t see you doing anything.

Jasbre: Well…. (camera zooms into Jasbre’s meat puppets albums)

Crazy: That’s what I thought.

(An arrow hits Crazy’s knee)

Crazy: WHO DID THAT?!

Ingot: Who do you think it is, dumbass?

Crazy: GODDAMN YOU! (he pulls out his dull dagger and attempts to stab Ingot in the chest, failing miserably)

Ingot: (stabbing back harder) You’re so pathetic, you little CrazySponge.

Ian: Um Ingot, we got a problem. (Zoom in on several Fanonland citizens drawing crossbows)

Ingot: Where did you guys get those crossbows?!

Cici: From the pawn shop, you dunce!

Matchy: It turned out to be pretty useful. (shoots an arrow directly into a nearby tree) Damn, missed again.

Ingot: Pathetic.

(In the distance, a massive forest fire is starting)

Ingot: What the-?

Ian: Just setting things on fire, sir.

Ingot: I told you to burn the houses down, not the ENTIRE FOREST! Now our potential secret hideout will burn down!

Crazy: Potential secret hideout? (gets slapped)

Ingot: Where did you come from?! Get outta here! (yeets Crazy into Jasbre’s lap 100 feet away)

Crazy: Hello.

Jasbre: Eek! (pushes Crazy away from him, knocking over a stack of papers) Goddamn it Crazy, you made me bump into my stack of important secret codes! Wait a second… (looks at one of the codes he knocked over) I think I have a solution to this fiasco...

Crazy: o.