Political Opinions Incoming

Political Opinions Incoming is the 9th s1 episode of Back To Squidville. It released September 4th, 2019 and was written by Lock.

Cast

 * Squidward
 * Tom
 * NerdSquid
 * Spongebob (briefly)
 * Patrick (briefly)

Story
Squidward runs for president.

Transcript
The episode begins with Squidward waking up in his bed. "What a beautiful day," he says, looking out the window. He walks downstairs and turns the TV on to the news channel. "This just in," the news anchor says, "current Bikini Bottom President Squid has been accused of raping a young child, and will be tried for impeachment tommorow." "This government fucking sucks," says Squidward, "if i were in office, i could fix the whole damn government in the blink of an eye." Tom walks in saying "hiya, Squidward. Didja hear about what the president did?" "Yes, I did," says Squidward, "and he's also trying for impeachment tomorrow. I figure I could run for president after that." "Uh, Squidward," Tom says, "you realise that the vice president becomes the president if the current president dies or is impeached, right?" "Fuck," says Squidward, "well, maybe i could wait for a few days. After all, the elections are actually coming up very soon, thanks to lazy writing. After this sentence I'll be filling out my form."

Cut to the next scene where Squidward, indeed, is filling out his application form. "That was pretty easy," he says as he walks off. He bumps into a squid and the squid says "watch where you're going, damn fool, I'm going to turn my application sheet in!" "Watch where YOU'RE going," says Squidward as he shoves the squid. "I can't wait to DESTROY you in the presidential election," states the squid. "Who the hell even are you," says Squidward. "I'm NerdSquid, damn fool," says NerdSquid, "I support the separation of illegal immigrant families." "Well I'm squidward," Squidward boldly says, "and I say you're insane!" "Being conservative is better than being liberal, you commie scum," says NerdSquid, "see you at the debate." NerdSquid walk out and Squidward becomes red in anger.

Cut to Squidward walking into his house angrily. "What's the matter," ask Tom, "did they reject?" "No," Squidward says, "some conservative fuckface was saying hed beat me in the election." "Well, he's conservative. Those fuckers are always dumbasses," says Tom. "But he's a conservative who's running for president, damn fool," says Squidward. "OH FUCK," Tom screams, "conservatives running for president is never a good thing." Squidward agrees. "I'm sure I'll win by a landslide," he says. "This conservative fuckface is bound to lose." Squidward collapses onto his chair and says, "time to wait for the election to start. Oh joy."

(One Being too fucking lazy to write properly later timecard)

Cut to Squidward at the debate. There is some applause, and after squidward begins "Hello, everyone," but is interrupted by NerdSquid saying "greetings all of bikini bottom!" "Hey, i was talking first," says Squidward, but NerdSquid shuts him up, which annoys Squidward. "Today, I, NerdSquid, am announcing that I am running for president!" There is some applause in the audience. "For too long, we've been letting immigrants come here illegal! I say fuck the immigrants and their human rights! With me as president, those fucking illegal immigrants will be deported to some other shithole country, seperated from their families!" "That's fucking insane," Squidward says, "they are human beings and they have their rights!" "Fuck them and their human rights! If you don't want to be separated from their families, don't fucking come here illegally. It's that fucking simple," NerdSquid says, "Also, uh, Irun sucks!" "Way to derail the conversation," says Squidward. "I, Squidward Q. Tentacles, am also announcing that I am running for president!" There's some more applause. "MAKE BIKINI BOTTOM GREAT AGAIN," screams NerdSquid, as the camera zooms out to reveal Spongebob and Patrick watching the debate on their TV.

"Isn't that Squidward," Patrick asks. "No, Squidward has a brown shirt. That one's black," Spongebob says as he turns the TV off.

TO BE CONTINUED