Joey's Guide to Surviving a Reality Game Show

Joey's Guide to Surviving a Reality Game Show is the seventeenth episode of Total Drama SBFW. It aired September 21, 2019 and was written by DanzxvFan8275 and Purple133.

Transcript
(Episode opens with a Joey confessional)

 

Joey: Uh I was forced into this. Um ummmmmmmmmmmmm yeah Golf is gone that’s really good. He was kind of a jerk from what I was told. Anyways yeah. I’m thinking tonight we should target another member of Team Steve and hopefully it won’t backfire.

 

(Cut to Joey talking to Purps)

 

Purps: What do you want?

 

Joey: 27.

 

Purps: You think that’s funny kid? I’ll show you the true power I h

 

Joey: Stop it’s weird now.

 

Purps: Sorry. What do you want tho?

 

Joey: Would you be willing to vote with us?

 

Purps: Depends on who you’re thinking.

 

(Joey confessional)

 

Joey: That’s a really good question. Hmmmmm. Crazy! He’s been a target forever and could be an easy vote out!

 

(Cut back to the show)

 

Joey: Crazy!

 

Purps: No.

 

(Purps confessional)

 

Purps: 27. Joey’s plan is backfiring on him we’ll just team up and vote out SBCA.

 

(Cut to Purps talking to Jasbre, Crazy, Bot, Dan, and Image)

 

Purps: So Joey tried to get me to work with him and the OG Hell team i guess.

 

Dan: That’s absurd! LETS FUCKING KILL HIM.

 

Purps: Wait, we don’t vote him out because he’ll be expecting that. See the problem there?

Crazy: No.

 

Dan: Bruh that’s the most I’ve ever heard you say.

 

Crazy: gnarly dude ima go cum in my sock

 

Dan: what

 

Crazy: OOOOOOOOOOOOOO

 

Bot: HOLD ON LEMME JOIN IN BABY

 

(the two vigorously shake the sock on their dicks before Dan goes over and pushes them both)

 

Dan: As Tim would say, NO BAGELS ALLOWED!

 

(Cut to the challenge)

 

Purps: Wait what?

 

Alex: Welcome!

 

Purps: HOW DID WE GET H-

 

Alex: Today, you’ll be running on treadmills set to full speed. The second you stop running, you’re out.

 

Vanessa: Are you guys just trying to kill us?

 

Waluigi: WAH! It’s possible! Just to prove it, I will run alongside you ten weaklings!

 

Alex: Everyone! Step onto your treadmill!

 

(Everyone steps onto their treadmills)

 

Purps: It’s all good I’ve done this before!

 

(The treadmills start and Purps immediately flies off of his)

 

Alex: you already failed hahahahha

 

(Literally everybody except Waluigi, Dan, and Image fall off of their treadmills)

 

Dan: WEAK!

 

Image: HAHAHAHAH!

 

Waluigi: You guys are seriously out of shape. Except Dan and Image, they are surprisingly in shape.

 

Dan: Football.

 

Image: Yes.

 

Waluigi: Okay then. Well this should be interesting.

 

Image: Dan honestly I’ll let you win. Or well I know you’ll win.

 

Dan: What?

 

Image: I dunno. 27.

 

Dan: NO NOT YOU TOO!

 

Image: I’m sorryyyyy.

 

(Image hops off of her treadmill)

 

Dan: I win!

 

Waluigi: not so fast! EVERYONE GAVE UP SO FAST! DAN IF YOU WANT TO BE SAFE, THEN YOU MUST BEAT ME! WAHAHAHAHA!

 

Dan: Oh crap.

 

(The treadmills start moving faster)

 

Waluigi: WAHAHAHAHA!

 

(Dan starts sprinting, Waluigi is barely using up any energy)

 

Waluigi: Tired yet Danny Boy?

 

Dan: *huff* no.

Waluigi: Good, because they’re about to start moving faster!

 

Alex: Hey Waluigi, what the hell are you doing?

 

Waluigi: Testing this boy’s physical limits!

 

Alex: Oh, okay.

Dan: WHAT?! YOU’RE OKAY WITH THIS?

 

Alex: Sure. It’s not hurting me.

 

Dan: GODDAMMIT!

 

(The treadmills speed up again)

 

Purps: DAN DON’T DIE!

 

Bot: Dan if you die I swear I’ll kill you to death.

Dan: Wait what?

 

Cici: You understand what he meant right?

 

Dan: NOT THE HELL I DIDN’T I JUST WANT TO WIN PLEASE WALUIGI LET THIS TORTURE BE OVER!

 

Waluigi: Not until you prove you can run longer and faster than I can.

 

Dan: THAT’S NOT FAIR!

 

Waluigi: I haven’t even used my true powers of rejection yet. That’ll make an interesting challenge later down the line.

 

Joey: Say what?

 

(Joey confessional)

 

Joey: A lot of money says that Dan’s going to lose. Hahaha.

 

(Cut to Waluigi grabbing a water bottle, dumping it on himself, and suddenly running faster)

 

Waluigi: Water is so rejuvenating isn’t it Dan?

Dan: Can I have some?

 

(Waluigi chucks an empty water bottle at Dan’s face)

 

Waluigi: Nope!

 

Dan: Man this really isn’t fair and I can barely talk so I might as well vent. This merge has actually *huff* been pretty hard and uncertain and I’m really just hoping that my friendships with these dudes is strong enough to keep me going until the end.

 

Jasbre: Wow man that means a l-

 

Dan: Shut the fuck up loser I wasn’t talking to you.

 

Jasbre: (dejected) oh.

 

Dan: WALUIGI I’M GOING TO DESTROY YOU!

 

(Dan throws the water bottle at Waluigi so hard it hits him and sends him flying into a wall)

 

Waluigi: WOAH! YOU WIN BECAUSE OF HOW PHYSICALLY STRONG THAT WAS!

 

Dan: Yay.

 

(Cut back to the room, Joey is talking to Jasbre)

 

Jasbre: I’m not voting with you bro.

 

Joey: man please I’m just trying to survive out here.

 

Jasbre: If it makes you feel better, I’m not voting for you.

 

(Joey confessional)

 

Joey: That most certainly does not make me feel better. If anything it makes me feel worse because one of my friends might be gone.

 

(Dan confessional)

Dan: WOOOOOO I BEAT WALUIGI I’M GOING TO RUB IT IN HIS GIANT NOSE NEXT CHALLENGE!

 

(Waluigi confessional for some reason)

Waluigi: WAHT DID HE SAY?

 

(Cut to Image talking to Vanessa)

 

Image: Boys amiright?

 

Vanessa: What?

 

Image: No idea. Thought we could have like a bonding moment or something.

Vanessa: Um sure. I mean we’re voting against each other so this is meaningless.

 

Image: Why though?

 

Vanessa: Well you’re voting SBCA right?

 

Image: We could switch to Joey.

 

Vanessa: Great idea!

 

(Cut to the elimination ceremony)

 

Alex: Welcome back, y’all know the drill.

 

Waluigi: Wah! I want a rematch with Dan in the future.

 

Alex: You’ll get a rematch at some point. Anyways, let’s get this show on the road. Dan is obviously safe for well winning. The first people aside from him safe are both our girls, Image and Vanessa!

 

Image: Let’s go.

 

Vanessa: Hallelujah.

 

Alex: Also safe are our british boys, Bot and Cici!

 

Bot: Are you pairing us up based on our characteristics.

 

Cici: No shit sherlock.

Bot: What?

 

Cici: Nothing, sorry.

 

Alex: Now half of you still haven’t been saved. Purps and Jasbre are both safe, gg to them.

 

Jasbre: Well that’s dandy.

 

Purps: Alex you’re my favorite.

 

Waluigi: I feel like my life is in a downward spiral.

 

Purps: Waluigi you might be my favorite if the next challenge involves cooking.

 

Waluigi: Yes.

 

Alex: Alright for the three of you left, you all picked up some votes. Joey, you’re slightly annoying but in a good way. SBCA, you’re a powerhouse player and have been a huge threat the entire game. Crazy, you don’t say much. So which one of you guys is getting eliminated?

 

Joey: ahhhhhhh…

 

Alex: Don’t worry Joey, it isn’t you tonight.

 

Joey: Oh thank god.

 

Crazy: Oh hell no.

 

SBCA: Well I guess that makes sense that I’m in the bottom.

 

Alex: Does it also make sense that Crazy is safe and you’re eliminated?

 

SBCA: *Sigh* yeah.

 

Alex: I’m sorry SBCA, but you’ve been eliminated tonight.

 

SBCA: Well that sucks.

 

Alex: Because you made top ten you do get to say who you think will win.

 

SBCA: Well, my money’s honestly on Joey. Hang in there bro, you’re so close!

 

Joey: Thank you so much!

 

SBCA: Yeah no problem!

 

Waluigi: Enough of this emotional nonsense SBCA, you’re going away.

(Waluigi takes SBCA to the Lounge of Losers as the episode ends)