Quarantined

Quarantined is the first episode of Bikini Bottom Chronicles.

Character(s)
TBA

Transcript
[Scene starts with Patrick tossing and turning in his bed, while sucking thumb]

Patrick: [Suddenly awakens from a nightmare] Ah! [Begins breathing heavily, and realizes that it was all just a bad dream] What a night! That's the last time that I eat twelve slices of pizza before bed. [Wipes sweat away from his head, as stomach growls] Maybe just one more slice. [Approaches the refrigerator, and grabs another slice of pizza, as he gobbles it down] Delicious! [Licks fingers, but suddenly rushes towards the bathroom, and opens the door]

[A stranger is seen sitting on Patricks toilet, while reading a newspaper]

Stranger: Occupied, here.

Patrick: Sorry. [Shuts the door, with a disturbed look on his face] Wait a minute... why was a stranger in my bathroom?

Stranger: [Exits the bathroom] I wouldn't go back in there if I were you.

Patrick: Yeah, yeah! [Rushes into the bathroom]

[The scene immediately cuts to the outside of Patricks house, where many people in decontamination suits are standing]

Decontamination Fish: Everyone calm down; we have everything under control, here!

[More people wearing decontamination suits begin marching out of Patricks house, carrying a container]

Decontamination Fish: Well?

[People in the decontamination suits remove the lid from the container]

Decontamination Fish: [Sniffs the air sample, and quickly covers his nose as he falls unconscious]

Patrick: Come on; it can't be that bad. [Sniffs the air sample, as a disgusted look appears on his face]

Decontamination Fish: [Awakens from unconsciousness] Everyone, please remain calm, and exit the area in an orderly fashion!

[Everyone panics, and runs away in fear]

Decontamination Fish: I don't want anyone within fifty feet of this ticking stink bomb! This area has been here by, quarantined!

Patrick: [Gasps] Quarantined! What does that mean?

Decontamination Fish: It means that there is a toxic fume in the air that is a threat to all of our lives! Your house will be isolated until we have confirmed that the fume has been terminated!

Patrick: [Gasps] Terminated! What does that mean?

Decontamination Fish: It means that... you know what? [Hands Patrick money] Take this and go buy yourself a dictionary.

Patrick: [Gasps] A dictionary! What's that?

Decontamination Fish: [Looks frustrated] Don't you know anything?!

Patrick: Well-

Decontamination Fish: Don't answer that, I'm pretty sure that I already know the answer! [Walks away angrily]

Patrick: [Follows Decontamination Fish] If my house is quarantined, where am I supposed to live?

Decontamination Fish: Don't you have any friends?

Patrick: Yeah.

Decontamination Fish: Why don't you see if they'll let you stay with them?

Patrick: [Light bulb appears above Patricks head] Great idea; I'm sure that SpongeBob will let me spend the night with him!

[Scene cuts to SpongeBobs front door]

Patrick: [Knocks on SpongeBobs front door] SpongeBob!

SpongeBob: [Opens the door] Hey, Patri-

Patrick: Can I spend the night at your house? [Looks anxious]

SpongeBob: Well, this is sudden.

Patrick: [Gets on knees and begins begging] Please?!

SpongeBob: I think that Gary is still a little upset about last time.

Gary: [Appears on the scene and growls angrily at Patrick]

[The scene cuts to the last time Patrick visited SpongeBobs house]

Patrick: [Walks around the room, and notices Garys shell] What's this? [Begins shaking the shell]

Gary: [Meows from inside his shell]

Patrick: [Looks surprised] Gary! Don't worry, I'll get you out of there, buddy! [Smashes the shell against the ground breaking it open]

[The scene returns to present day]

Patrick: Fine; I'll just spend the night with Squidward, then! [Angrily marches away, and knocks on Squidwards front door] Squidward!

Squidward: [Opens the door]

Patrick: Can I-

Squidward: No. [Slams the door in Patricks face]

[Scene cuts to Mr. Krabss front door]

Patrick: [Knocks on Mr. Krabss front door] Mr. Krabs!

Mr. Krabs: [Opens the door] Patrick? What are you doing here, at this time of night?

Patrick: I need a place to stay, because my house is quarantined!

Mr. Krabs: Quarantined? How did that happen?

Patrick: Long story short: the pizza didn't exactly agree with my stomach.

Mr. Krabs: [Looks disgusted] Fine, but don't break anything! Do you understand?

Patrick: Yes, sir! [Salutes Mr. Krabs]

Mr. Krabs: Good night. [Turns off the light, and walks towards his bedroom]

Patrick: [Waits until the coast is clear, and turns on the TV]

[The scene cuts to morning, when Patrick is awakened to Mr. Krabs yelling]

Mr. Krabs: Dear Neptune!

Patrick: What is it, Mr. Krabs?

Mr. Krabs: It's the electricity bill! It's higher than ever! You wouldn't happen to know anything about what caused this, would you?

Patrick: [Remembers watching TV nonstop the previous night, and begins to look nervous] Nope, not a clue.

Mr. Krabs: Really? The security footage begs to differ! [Turns on the TV which reveals Patrick watching cartoons at 1:00 A.M.]

Patrick: [Begins to look nervous] Uh... technology, these days, you can't trust it one bit.

Mr. Krabs: Get out of my house! [Kicks Patrick out the front door]

Patrick: [Face-plants into the ground] I think he bought it!

[The scene cuts to Sandys front door]

Patrick: [Barges into her house without a water helmet] Nice place, that you've got here!

Sandy: Uh... thanks.

Patrick: [Takes a deep breath] Ah... fresh air... wait a minute. Fresh air! Ah! [Begins running away in fear]

Sandy: [Scratches head]

[Scene cuts to the Krusty Krab, where Patrick is sitting alone at a table]

Patrick: There has to be somewhere to live. Think, Patrick, think! [Begins hitting head against table]

SpongeBob: [Appears to be bringing Patrick his order, and looks confused when he notices Patrick hitting his head against the table] Uh... Patrick, are you okay?

Patrick: Let' see... I slept in a dumpster last night! What do you think?

SpongeBob: Don't be upset. If it weren't for Gary I would definitely let you stay at my house!

Patrick: [Quits hitting head against table, and begins to cry] Really?

SpongeBob: Sure, that's what best friends are for, right?

Patrick: Yeah, I guess so. Hey, can I borrow five bucks to pay for this Krabby Patty?

SpongeBob: [Removes five dollars from his wallet] But this is all I have.

Patrick: Thanks! [Grabs the five dollars]

[The scene cuts to the Chum Bucket]

Patrick: [Knocks on the door] Plankton!

Plankton: Oh, a customer! [Opens the door, and looks depressed] Oh, it's just you.

Patrick: Could I spend the night here?

Plankton: N-O!

Patrick: I don't have time for your confusing word games!

Plankton: I can't have a buffoon like you running around the Chum Bucket! It'll be bad for business!

Patrick: [Leans inside, and notices an empty room, and rusty tables, covered in cob webs] What business?

Plankton: [Grunts] Get out!

Patrick: Is that a "yes?"

Plankton: [Slams the door in Patricks face, angrily]

[Scene cuts to Bargn' Mart]

Patrick: Maybe I should buy one of those dictionary things that, that guy was talking about earlier. [Walks past a big, flashing, sign that reads "Dictionaries"] Excuse me sir, would you happen to know where I could fund a dictionary?

Clerk: [Facepalm] You're standing right in front of them.

Patrick: [Looks at the sign] Thanks!

Clerk: Yeah, sure thing. [Walks away, and begins whispering to himself] What a freak.

Patrick: [Grabs a dictionary, and walks towards the check out]

Cashier: [Scans the dictionary] That will be $5.99, sir.

Patrick: [Counts his money] Tarter sauce! I only have five dollars! [Leans towards the man beside him] Hey, can I borrow a dollar?

Citizen: No.

Cashier: Do you have the money or not?

Patrick: Hey, look! [Points behind the cashier] 

Cashier: [Turns around] What? I don't see anything.

Patrick: [Hides behind an isle] That was close! [Opens the dictionary] Reads through the "H" section. [Discovers the word "Hotel"] Hey, I could use one of those, but where do I find one? [Rubs chin]

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