Die Semi-Hard

Die Semi-Hard

Tom tells his family his version of the greatest holiday-themed blockbuster movie ever told.

Season: 3 Episode: 6

Total Episode Count: 50

'''Prdo. no.''': 3BQT10

Featuring: Tom Smith, Shubie Fishbowl-Smith, Tyler Smith, Sandals Lesac, Lenny, Taylor Fishbowl, Vera Fishbowl, Abagail Lesac, Dennis, Medley Jones, Mabel, Paco Fishbowl

Also Appearing: LeVar Smith, Evelyn Smith, Harold, Gus, Billy, Jessie, Consueela, Larvell, Coach McFall, Mr. Waterman, Auntie Momma, Mayor Larry Box, Hadassah Lowenstein, Reverend Ekins, Arch, Donny, Guy Who Looks Like Huey Lewis, Trish Barty, Carl, Aaron, Larry the Sea Leopard, Walt, Dwayne Meighan

Plot: To help pass time while posing in a holiday nativity scene, Tom tells his family his own version of one of his favorite holiday stories, "Die Hard".

After detective Tom Smith flies to Los Angeles to meet his wife at her job at Waterman International, he tells his limo driver Taylor about some of his marriage troubles while he hopes to reconcile during the office Christmas party. Metting with his wife, he takes off his shows and tries to be romantic but Shubie resists his charms and returns to the party alone.

Meanwhile, a group of thieves led by Lenny posing as terrorists take the party guests hostage and seperate Mr. Waterman in order to gain access to the Waterman International vault.

Tom tosses his shoes out the window over a nearby poser line when he hears gunshots and arrives as Mr. Waterman is killed. Hearing noise from Tom, Lenny sends Abagail out to investigate where she is killed by Tom. As the terrorists discover Abagail's body, they hear Tom trying to use his radio to call for police and start shooting. Police dispatcher Vera sends officer Tyler Smith to investigate. As Tom dispatches another of the terrorists and escapes into an air shaft, Tyler arrives but is told by a guy that looks like Huey Lewis but is really one of the terrorists that all is well and starts to leave. To get his attention, Tom throws a janitor out the window onto Tyler's squat car. Tyler frantically backs away as the terrorists fire on his car.

As police surround the building, Tom taunts the terroists but slips and gives away his location. As Paco Fishbowl struggles to crack the vault, the gift exchange at the party hostages goes on. But when Donny's gift turns out to be a small package of golf balls in large box he is shot too. As Tom and Tyler exchange banter over the radio, Lenny arrives but is taken by surprise. Lenny manages to come up with a name on the office list and fools Tom who gives him a gun which he turns on Tom. Tom manages to distract him momentarily and takes out another of the henchman as he escapes. As Tom hides behind a wall of glass and keeps Lenny and Sandals pinned down, Lenny orders Sandals to shoot out the glass after noticing Tom's bare feet. Tom is forced to retreat through the glass picking up several shards in the process. Despite picking out much of the glass, Tom leaves bloddy footprints behind him.

Two FBI agents arrive and order the building power to be cut off which results in the vault opening. The terrorists take Tom's friend Harold hostage but kill him after they learn that they also hold Tom's wife Shubie. As Tom ponders his next move, Sandals manages to sneak up on him but is hung from a chain by Tom after telling him that hostages have been moved to the roof with explosives. Arriving on the roof, Tom orders everyone off but the FBI agents in a helicopter mistake Tom for one of the terrorists and open fire on him. Lenny orders the roof to blow as Tom ties a fire hose around his waist and jumps from the rooftop. The blast engulfs the helicopter as Tom shoots his way back into the building. As Tom catches Lenny and his last henchman, Lenny grabs Shubie and holds her at gunpoint forcing Tom to drop his gun. As Lenny thinks he's won, Tom draws a second gun taped to his back and shoots Lenny and the henchman, forcing Lenny through the window. Lenny grabs Shubie's scalp wig and her by her back fin. Tom makes Shubie undo her scalp wig as Lenny falls to his death.

Outside as the surviving hostages are freed, Shubie and Tom reconcile. Sandals springs up shooting at the two to be killed by Tyler who also shoots Walt noting that he shoots kids.

The scene returns to the nativity scene as only Tyler and Vera remain awake. Tyler enthusiastically asks about a sequel to be told they will see what the internet has to say.

Trivia

 * The episode is a parody of "Die Hard".
 * The title is the same one from "Thomas' Angels" and "Hot Cocoa Bang Bang", only the background is a sky blue.
 * This is the third Christmas episode in the series.

Rating
TV-14: DLSV

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