The Cook-Off (ADWSS Episode Transcript)

(The episode begins with Squidward at the Krusty Krab, watching the local TV station, while SpongeBob is flipping patties as well as watching TV through the window)

Newsman: (on TV) And the percentage of......

(Squidward switches the channel to a home gardening program)

Gardener: (on TV) The all-new Lawn Mower 2000 I find very helpful, they can really give your lawn that perfect texture that-

Squidward: Boring!

(Squidward switches the channel to a educational documentary)

Tourist: (on TV) And this here is the rare Barrier Reef snail, which only one of is known to exist. It looks like a-

Squidward: LAME!

(Squidward switches the channel to a advertisement)

Chef: Hey you! Yes, you! You could be in the Ultimate Cook-off challenge if you think you are the best frycook in the sea!

Squidward: (yawns)

(Squidward switches the channel to a arts and crafts children's program)

Woman: Now we glue the pipe cleaner to the-

Spongebob: Wait Squidward, go back! I saw something there!

(Squidward goes back to the Cook-Off advert)

Chef: Contestants will come to take part in what will be the biggest event of this year! Judges from around the sea will come to eat the finest of foods that the frycooks will make, and the winner will get a grand prize of ONE MILLION DOLLARS!

(Mr Krabs comes out from his office)

Mr Krabs: One million dollars!!??

Chef: That's right! The event starts in three weeks! So come on. Quit wasting time and pick up the phone! Call 555-555-5555 NOW!

Spongebob: I have to enter the contest!

Mr Krabs: And you have to win me a million dollars!

Spongebob: SHHH! (on phone) Hello, is this where you sign up for the Cook Off? Yes, umm, my name is Spongebob Squarepants from a city called Bikini Bottom in the Pacific Ocean. Oh, okay thanks. Bye.

Squidward: Let me guess. They didn't let you in because you're too stupid?

Spongebob: Actually, I got in..... so one moment please..... (enters kitchen) YEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WOOOOO! (exits kitchen) That's better.

Mr Krabs: I'll get you ready for that cook-off. C'mon, I know a great place for practice.

(Scene cuts to National Cooking Kitchen)

Spongebob: Wow, this place is like a mansion!

Lady: Ah, Spongebob, you're here. Right this way. Let me show you your workstation.

(They head into a room where all the stations are kept. There are a few other people in there)

Mr Krabs: You and me, laddie, are gonna win this like a sack o' clams. Now all we need to do is to train you.

Spongebob: Right! Let's start!

Mr Krabs: Alrighty, SpongeBob, I want you to go make me a Krabby Patty. I will taste it and see what needs improving.

Spongebob: Why though? Everybody loves my patties.

Mr Krabs: Me boy, everybody does, but those judges are as critical as heck, so make me your best Krabby Patty ever!

Spongebob: (He dissapears for a second then comes back with a Krabby Patty) Done.

Mr Krabs: Wow, that was fast, but is it good enough for me? (he eats it whole) (in his thoughts) Wow, that was the best patty yet. This is hard. I need to tell him things he could improve but they have nothing to improve that I can see. But those judges are as critical as ever, so there must be something that could be improved. (stops thinking) Spongebob, I'm afraid we'll have to do some training. That patty was very tasty, but we need something that will make everyone satisfied!

(Scene: Station)

Spongebob: Okay, what do I do first?

Mr Krabs: Right, lad. Now, let me show you all the technicque I've got......

(fades into a montage of Mr Krabs and Spongebob doing stuff together. First, the montage shows SpongeBob flipping a patty, while Mr. Krabs measures how high the patty is flipped. Then the montage shows SpongeBob chopping onions, which makes Mr. Krabs cry. Then the montage shows SpongeBob making fires, while Mr. Krabs takes the temperature of them. Then the montage shows Mr. Krabs in a tutu along with SpongeBob, and they are doing the tango dance, the montage ends)

Mr Krabs: Wait, when did we do the tutu tango?!

SpongeBob: No idea.

Mr. Krabs: Anywho, meet me at your house next week at 1 in the afternoon. Bye!

(Mr Krabs leaves and heads to his house)

(Scene: Conch Street)

Spongebob: (looking at his pineapple, covered in graffiti) Jumping jellyfish, what happened? (enters, and walks up to his room, while noticing that his entire house has been vandalized, enters the room, which is covered in trash, Gary is there, scared, he finds a note on the floor, and discovers a note, which he picks up and reads) SpongeBob, I trashed your room. Good luck with that cook-off..... I'm going to win now, and there's nothing to do that you can stop me! Good luck, loser!

(Spongebob stops reading and starts to cry)

Spongebob: Everything is gone! The couch..... my pet scallop..... (sniffs) even my only picture of Grandpa SquarePants that I got before he died! Gary, I'm not going to the competition. I'll just stay here.

Gary: Meow meow meow.

Spongebob: Thanks Gary.

(Scene cuts to 1:00 PM next week. Mr. Krabs is waiting outside by the pineapple, while SpongeBob is still inside, depressed)

Mr Krabs: Spongebob! Spongebob!! Get out here, the competition starts next week! We haven't got much time, lad!

Spongebob: Please go away. Can't you see I'm upset?

Mr Krabs: Well, I can't help if you won't open this door!

Spongebob: Just go away! I'm not in the mood.

(Mr Krabs rams open the door with his head. The door opens. Mr Krabs looks for Spongebob)

Mr Krabs: Woah, this place is a wreck. Spongebob? Spongebob!?

Spongebob: Didn't you hear what I said?! Go away!

(Mr Krabs finds Spongebob on the bed crying)

Mr Krabs: Come on, me boy, pull yourself together. What's the matter?

Spongebob: Okay...... I don't want to be in the competition anymore.

Mr Krabs: Why not?

Spongebob: Some guy broke into my house and vandalized it, there's graffiti on the walls, he took away the things that were precious to me.....and he gave me this note! (hands Mr. Krabs the note he found)

Mr Krabs: Ahh, so that's why it looks like a bombsite in here. (he looks at the letter that Spongebob read last night while mumbling) Oh Neptune, this ain't good..... but maybe they're just desperate to win..... that's not gonna stop you, right?

Spongebob: Mr. Krabs, you don't understand how I feel. I'm not going.

Mr Krabs: SpongeBob, if you win, you can use the prize money to buy a new house just like this one!

Spongebob: If only you would understand. I'm staying here.

Mr Krabs: Well then..... (takes out a grill and spatula) We'll train here. Make me a patty.

Spongebob: Okay, fine.....(he makes a Krabby Patty, Mr Krabs tastes it)

Mr Krabs: Me boy, that was way better than the last patty you made. You can win that contest as easy as pie!

SpongeBob: Okay..... I'll do it.

(Scence cuts to the competition. Johnny is talking to the camera for the local news)

Johnny: Citizens from around the world have come for this once in a lifetime event. Now, let's see the competition LIVE, right here!

Mr Krabs: Right, lad. Just remember what I taught ye.

(Spongebob winks at Mr Krabs)

Spongebob: Let's do this!

Chef: Three....two.....one......GO!

(SpongeBob rushes to the station and begins making a Krabby Patty during a montage. He flips the patties in the first part of the montage, then he cuts up the lettuce and tomatoes, then making some fries, then he begins to break dance in a tuxedo, the montage ends)

Competitor 1: Why did you break dance after you made that patty?

SpongeBob: (shrugs)

Judge 1: (tasting the dish from the person who trashed SpongeBob's home) Awful!

Judge 2: Yuck!

Judge 3: Disgusting!

Judge 1: (tasting SpongeBob's patty) Delicious. (takes another bite) A very interesting use of mustard.

Judge 2: (tasting patty) Yum!

Judge 3: (tasting patty) It's an explosion of flavor in my mouth!

Judge 1: I think it's safe to say SpongeBob is the winner of this cook-off! (hands trophy and a million dollar check to SpongeBob, making Mr. Krabs faint)

Judge 2: So SpongeBob, what will you do now that you've won the cook-off.

Spongebob: I'll just teach a certain SOMEONE a lesson. (snickers at the contestant who trashed his home)

Competitor 1: Uh-oh.

(camera cuts to the outside of the cook-off stadium, and zooms out of it slowly, as the camera vibrates with screams from the vandal heard, caused by SpongeBob beating him up, the episode eventually fades to black)

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