User blog:Da Nerd/Cinema Sins: Snail Trails

Another Cinema Sins parody.

Episode sin count: 80
 * [scene starts with SpongeBob, obviously angry, carring Gary and then finally setting him down in front of his bowl still full of snail food]
 * Not-so-obvious typo, but still a sin.
 * SpongeBob: Gary, do you know what that is?
 * Gary: Meow.
 * SpongeBob: No. It may appear like your bowl, but it is really your bowl that is still full of snail food from dinner...last night!
 * Then it is still a bowl.
 * If you don't even have the decency to come to me and say that you are full, you can at least...
 * Gary: Meow.
 * SpongeBob: [picks up and bowl and kneels down to Gary] Gary, look. This snail food is perfectly fine. This is the same brand of snail food I serve to you everyday,.
 * Punctuation.
 * [places food on counter] and always will. And now, due to your pickiness, you let it spoil right in the middle of the kitchen! You know other people have to prepare food in here as well and you could not even clean it up.
 * Other people? If that wasn't enough of a sin, you're the only other one living there.
 * I have told you too many times...
 * Gary: [rolls eyes an walks away]
 * SpongeBob: Gary Wilson Jr., you do not walk away from me when I am talking to you! You may be heading into your teenage years but you do not give me attitude!
 * Cartoon characters don't age.
 * Gary! Gary!! [points to ground] You get back here I said!
 * [scene cuts to Gary heading to his snail pen and begins to whimper]
 * He scolded him before he even started to slither away. Also, snails can't whimper.
 * [scene cuts to SpongeBob placing Gary's bowl in the sink and mumbling to himself]
 * You're not even gonna dump that food out?
 * [Patrick enters]
 * Patrick: [on a cellphone] Yeah, I'm with him right now. Let me ask him. [to SpongeBob] Uh, SpongeBob. Is there something wrong going on here? I have...uh...a special source on the other end of the phone to make sure everything's okay.
 * SpongeBob: [sighs] No, Patrick. Nothing domestic is happening over here. It's just Gary and his inability [looks back at sink] to listen to the things I tell him to do [raises voice] over and over again!
 * Patrick: [on phone] Yeah, he says nothing bad is happening. Okay, thank you. [hangs up and then enters the house] Hey, buddy. What's wrong with...Gareward what's his name? [sits down on sofa and turns on the television]
 * SpongeBob: I don't really know any more, Patrick. [ambles to sofa] Gary just is becoming more and more disrespectful. It's almost like he's becoming a teenage snail.
 * Cartoon characters don't age.
 * Yet, I guess I'm just no ready for him to grow up yet. I think I may be being to hard on him. I know! I'll go apologize. [walks away]
 * Patrick: [takes out a bag of chips from his pocket and eats a few] 
 * I thought you didn't believe in pockets. (Yes, I know there are various episodes where he does have pockets, but I'm still counting this as a sin.)
 * Did you say something SpongeBob?
 * No, it was a voice in your head persuading you to become more of a psychopath.
 * [scene cuts to SpongeBob's bedroom]
 * SpongeBob: Gary, can we talk?
 * I think it's obvious, considering you're talking at this very moment.
 * Gary? [makes way to Gary's blanket where a hump is under the blanket] Gary, I'm sorry. I should not have snapped at you like that.
 * You actually remained calm the entire time. It wasn't until Patrick came over that you started ranting.
 * Can we talk now? [pulls off blanket only to unveil a pillow instead of Gary]
 * There isn't any pillow that could ever take the form or shape of Gary. It's incredible how SpongeBob actually thought Gary was under there.
 * SpongeBob: [shivers] Gary? [shivers again] Why is it so cold in here? [creaking is heard]
 * [SpongeBob turns head and sees the window is open and is swaying from the wind]
 * SpongeBob: Gary? Where are you? [sticks head out of window and sees a trail of snail on the side of the house and runs out into the road] Gary! Where are you?! [sticks head back into room and closes window]
 * Repeated sentence.
 * [Patrick enters the room]
 * Patrick: What's the matter in here? Where's Gary? Why does that pillow look like a shell?
 * SpongeBob: Wait, what?
 * [Gary unmasks himself while holding a beverage]
 * No context.
 * SpongeBob: Gary, [runs and hugs Gary] I'm so glad you came back?
 * Who are you asking that?
 * Gary: Meow.
 * SpongeBob: You just went to get a soda? Oh, okay. Wait a second! [halts hugging Gary] You went to go get a soda instead of eating your dinner food? Well, I hope you enjoy it, because I have spoiled you, and I cannot blame you for what I have done. But a [confiscates drink from Gary] soda is not food, it is a side.
 * It's neither of those. It's a beverage.
 * Gary: Meow. [slugs to window but fails to open it]
 * SpongeBob: Gary, stop. I already locked the window.
 * You never locked it.
 * [face turns from firm to surprise] Patrick!
 * [Patrick is shown to be unlocking the window]
 * Gary: Meow-meow. [begins squirming out of window]
 * Patrick: What, no tip?
 * I'm with Patrick on this one.
 * [SpongeBob looks out window]
 * SpongeBob: Gary, you get back here or I am taking away your allowance, mister. Gary, you better listen to me. [grabs bullhorn] 
 * The trivia says that this bullhorn is the same one used in the pilot episode, however that one should still be buried with the rest of the junk in the kitchen. Why isn't SpongeBob at work right now anyways?
 * Gary! You get back here or else...or else I will restrict you of your yellow blanket and give you the red one.
 * Red would actually contrast better with Gary.
 * Gary: [halts walking away and looks back]
 * Snails can't walk.
 * SpongeBob: Now I got you! Gary, come back. Please.
 * Gary: [begins to turn around yet thinks about SpongeBob yelling at him] Meow! [turns around and heads down the sidewalk]
 * There isn't a sidewalk anywhere near SpongeBob's house.
 * SpongeBob: Fine. Walk away. See if I care! [shuts window] [to Patrick] Stupid Gary. I don't need him. [walks away and steps on a chew toy and initiates crying] I...miss...G...Gary, Patrick. I miss him already.
 * What - he's only been gone for two seconds!
 * [scene cuts to Gary traveling on the side of a long highway in the middle of the night, shivering from the cold]
 * Gary: [receives a call on his cellphone] Meow-meow.
 * What use does a cell phone do a snail?
 * Other line caller: Hello there. We are calling to inform you of a nice resort called Snail Trails. But don't hang up just yet. Snail Trails is a neighborhood with elegant apartments with adorned rooms and bathrooms made from 100% snail food.
 * "Nice resort".
 * The resort is located in the center of the neighborhood where snails can relax and take a swim in our large, elegant pool.
 * Where is this supposed neighbourhood?
 * [Gary's eyes open wide]
 * Gary: Meow-meow.
 * Other line caller: It is located ten snail steps from where you are right now.
 * Snails can't walk.
 * How does the fish on the other line know the exact location of Gary? Stalker.
 * [Gary begins taking small snail steps] Yes, just keep going. Yes, wait, no! You took eleven steps!
 * Not so humourous humour cliche.
 * You skipped it! Just take one step back.
 * [Gary takes one step back and steps on a button]
 * How would he not have stepped on the button before?
 * [The button opens up apartment complexes, a resort, and roads and snails automatically travel in and inhabit the neighborhood]
 * Gary: Meow. [slugs to front desk]
 * Dexter Pecster: Hello there. I am Dexter Pecster, the muscular doorman for Snail Trails. What room would you want to live in?
 * Does this sin really need explanation?
 * Gary: [looks around and sees the perfect room right in the middle of the complex] Meow,
 * Dexter: Room 108.
 * Ew, eight . (Yes, that's a sin now.)
 * Excellent choice. [hands Gary set of keys] Enjoy your stay here at Snail Trails.
 * [scene cuts to Gary inside of the hotel room, which appears to be larger than SpongeBob's house]
 * Sin
 * Gary: Meow. [slugs onto master bedroom bed and turns on the television] Meow. [laughs] [looks out window toward the resort]
 * Butler Shedlon: Like the view, Mr. Gary?
 * How do you know his owner-given name?
 * Gary: Meow? [turns around] Meow, meow, meow.
 * Butler Shedlon: I am Butler Shedlon, your servant for your stay here. I will be making up your bed,
 * Don't worry, the bed's not real.
 * flossing your teeth for you and taking tips from you whenever convienient for you. [holds out hand toward Gary]
 * I can imagine this servant speaking in a stereotypical accent for servants. Yet another cliche.
 * Gary: Meow. [rolls eyes and then takes out a dollar bill with snail fluid all over it]
 * Butler Shedlon: Uh, never mind, Mr. Garold. Please, follow me to the dinner table. [walks promptly to toward the kitchen yet looks back see Gary traveling slowly behind] Let me help you, Mr. Garold. [picks Gary up and places him on a seat in front of a banquet of flavored rice, steak and green beans]
 * Gary: Meow. [begins hyperventilating and mouth is watering]
 * [Butler Shedlon places a napkin bib around Gary and Gary begins to chomp down the banquet]
 * [Gary rubs bib around his mouth with a full stomach]
 * Butler Shedlon: May I treat you to desert, Mr. Gary?
 * Yes, I'll have the Sahara please.
 * Gary: Meow meow!
 * Butler Shedlon: Well, if you insist, sir. [places bowl of snail food, a bowl of ice cream, and a plate of chocolate cake with snail food in front of Gary]
 * Snail food for dessert?
 * Gary: [mouth begins to water again and he begins to chomp down on the cake and ice cream] [with relief in voice]' Meow. '
 * Visual editor.
 * [turns to snail food and then begins flashback to when SpongeBob was yelling at him for the soda and then about the day old snail food]
 * *sigh* Again, he never yelled at him.
 * [Gary turns away from snail food]
 * Butler Shedlon: You do not want the snail food, Mr. Garold?
 * Gary: [shakes head] Meow meow.
 * Butler Shedlon: That is quite alright, Mr. Gary.
 * Gary: [slugs to bed and immediately begins snoring]
 * Butler Shedlon: [pulls covers over Gary] Good night, my light. [evilly laughs]
 * [Butler Shedlon's stomach opens up and reveals Plankton]
 * I definitely didn't see that coming. (Especially considering spoiler in trivia, and his oh-so-clever disguised name.)
 * Plankton: [continues to evilly laugh] Good night indeed my light. My light to getting the Krabby Patty secret formula from SpongeBob!
 * Is that supposed to make sense, or are you talking villian speak
 * Now that the snal
 * Spelling.
 * has gained a liking to Butler Shedlon, he'll be too munipulated
 * Spelling.
 * to stop me from getting it as well!
 * [Plankton continues laughter yet Gary opens his eyes]
 * [the
 * Grammar.
 * next scene shows SpongeBob at Patrick's house with tracking equipment]
 * Patrick: Where does it say Garward
 * Spelling.
 * is?
 * SpongeBob: Well, according to the Track My Snail 1000, Gary is at a resort known as [lets out loud gasp] Snail Trails!!!
 * Patrick: What's so bad about Snaily Trails?
 * SpongeBob: I never told Gary about this, but I once had a snail before him. Yet, he ventured off to Snail Trails, yet I was with him.
 * Yet, Sci seems to have a liking for the word yet, yet he only used it twice in one sentence, yet that's okay with some people, yet I'm still counting it as a sin.
 * Sadly, I was the only to leave that resort.
 * Patrick: We better get going, SpongeBob. To the Krusty Krab! [SpongeBob frowns while Patrick runs off]
 * [the 
 * Grammar.
 * scene shows Gary growling at Plankton 
 * Comma.
 * and Plankton is backing away slowly]
 * Plankton: Now settle down, snail. I just want to get to SpongeBob and take the formula from him. Is that too much to ask?
 * Gary: Meow. [whacks Plankton onto ground with an eyeball]
 * Ow.
 * Plankton: Well, I didn't want to do this snail
 * Commas are essential.
 * , but you leave me no chose!
 * Spelling.
 * [takes out remote and presses button to activate the robot Butler Shedlon]
 * [The robot begins to charge towards Gary]
 * [s
 * Grammar.
 * cene cuts to SpongeBob charging towards the check-in desk]
 * SpongeBob: I am looking for a Mr. Gary the Snail.
 * Dexter: For what reason? [picks up SpongeBob and throws him far away]
 * Repeated gag from pilot, request followed by an immediate throwout.
 * [Patrick appears with a Krabby Patty only to be knocked over by SpongeBob]
 * [The Krabby Patty is sent flying into the chimney of room 108 and sparks a huge fire, cremating robot Butler Shedlon]
 * Plankton: No!!!!
 * Grammar.
 * [looks at fireplace and rushes to the Krabby Patty, slightly burned] No, don't you give up on me. [takes out analyzer] [The analyzer analyzes the patty and prints out a formula]
 * Two adjacent bracketed actions. 
 * Gary: Meow! [Gary quickly throws snail fluid onto the formula paper, ruining it]
 * Standalone action in same line as dialogue.
 * Plankton: [growls] Well you may have got the formula but I still have the Krabby Patty! You fail, snail!
 * The time spent saying that could have been used to get the hell out of there.
 * Gary: [growls and charges for Plankton]
 * [The arm from the robot falls and is still on fire and builds a wall of fire between Plankton and Gary]
 * [Plankton pulls out a jet pack and flies out the chimney, evilly laughing]
 * [The scene shows SpongeBob and Patrick crawling through the sewer ducts]
 * Patrick: Why are we doing this again, SpongeBob?
 * SpongeBob: [sighs] Because Gary could be in trouble, Patrick!
 * Patrick: Oh. Well, can we stop using our first names at the end of our sentences, SpongeBob?
 * Breaking the fourth wall by referencing to bad writing.
 * SpongeBob: Fine. [bumps into sewer pole that reads "Room 108"] Where's here
 * Spelling.
 * , Patrick. [climbs up sewer pole]
 * Patrick: You're doing it again, SpongeBob.
 * Breaking the fourth wall by referencing to bad writing.
 * [scene shows SpongeBob reaching the surface and seeing Gary backing away from the fire]
 * SpongeBob: Gary! [leaps toward fire and sucks it in with his sponge abilities and blows it out through the chminey]
 * From a quick Google search, you can easily find that sponges can't absorb fire.
 * [scene shows Plankton laughing about the Krabby Patty
 * Krabby Patties are so funny.
 * , only for the patty getting burned to a crisp from the escaping fire]
 * Grammar.
 * SpongeBob: Gary, I'm sorry I yelled at you.
 * You didn't yell at him.
 * I promise I won't do it again. I just have to accept you are becoming a big snail now.
 * Cartoon characters don't age.
 * Do you forgive me, buddy?
 * Gary: Meow.
 * Voice: Hey, what's going on in here?
 * [SpongeBob gasps]
 * [reveals the snail SpongeBob lost at Snail Trails]
 * Lazy writing.
 * Remmy: SpongeBob? What are you doing here?
 * SpongeBob: Gary, I have something to tell you. Before you, I had a snail named Remmy.
 * Gary: Meow meow.
 * SpongeBob: You knew?
 * Gary: Meow.
 * This is impossible, as to SpongeBob's claim of never telling him. Gary had no other way of knowing this. 
 * SpongeBob: Great. But I thought you were...you know, gone, Remmy.
 * Remmy: I just stayed here because you fed me too much snail food.
 * Snail food is the only thing shown to have been fed to Gary, so I'd assume it's the only thing that has been fed to Remmy. Snails are weird.
 * I just realized this, too - Remmy is the only snail that can talk (if you ignore that one horrid episode).
 * SpongeBob: Oh, that's why you left, Gary.
 * Gary: [looks at bathroom] Meow meow.
 * [episode ends]

But, just to be safe, since I probably missed some, let's add, say, 15 to the counter.

Episode sin count: 95

Sentence: Forced to be eternally trapped in the Snail Trails bathroom.