Behold! The Terror of Dirty Bubble! (transcript)

Behold: The Terror of Dirty Bubble!

Written by Miss Dawg289, JellyfishJam38 and Ponyo Fan.
 * (SpongeBob, Patrick, and Sandy are sitting in the town hall, which has its walls decorated with dead monsters. The Sensei is delivering a message)
 * Sensei II: Swiss City has been suffering through some hard times recently, and the arrival of three great warriors has benefited this place greatly. The ones who were prophesied to save the city from beasts of all shapes and sizes finally came, and with it came hope. These three are named SpongeBob, Patrick and Sandy.
 * (the crowd cheer, and SpongeBob blushes)
 * Sensei II: Out of many things they've done, they have closed the portal to the City of Blood, brought electricity to the city, defeated the Sky Legend, prevented the Red Sky from reaching us, elected me (he smiles), and even more than this.
 * Hoogra: What about your good ol' second-in-command?
 * Sensei II: Dude, your time's been and gone. You're 86. Continue on with whatever the hell you normally do, and don't ask me for favors. (turns back to the gang) I'm sure your excellent contributions to this village-in-need have merited something, and I think I should reward you. You're going on a trip to...
 * (SpongeBob, Patrick and Sandy's eyes get wider and wider as a drumroll plays)
 * Sensei II: ...the "What the Fudge" Factory!
 * (The gang cheer.)
 * SpongeBob: I'm not really the guy for fudge, I always used to prefer chocolate.
 * Sandy: Don't be a chocolate-craving Fred, just be glad that we're going to a nice place rather than having to kill swarms of freakin' monsters.
 * (Patrick is still wide-eyed and silent, and then he bursts out into ecstasy all of a sudden.)
 * Patrick: (very quickly, breathless) Oh my god, I heard about this place, but I never got to go there, in fact, I haven't tried fudge since 2004, and that was a chocolate fudge cake! This is apparently the biggest fudge market in the whole undersea business, and they have every flavor, from raspberry to sea kelp! You even get to cover yourself with fudge and lick it off yourself! I'm excited, are you?
 * Sandy: Not as excited as you.
 * (Patrick starts running around the room hyperactively with his tongue hanging out.)
 * Patrick: FUDGE! FUDGE! FUDGE! FUDGE!
 * SpongeBob (to Sandy): Everyone loves a good undiagnosed ADHD case, huh?
 * Sandy: Yeah, he's kinda cute in a way.
 * SpongeBob: You mean, like, love?
 * Sandy: No, I wouldn't even call it a major crush yet.
 * SpongeBob: I think you should tell him, after he gets out of this ecstatic stupor. With crushes, it's better to ask them before they suspect anything.
 * (Patrick runs up the walls and turns his head 360 degrees.)
 * Sandy: I'm not sure he'll be out of that for at least forty-eight damn hours.
 * (Cut to the "What the Fudge" Factory. Patrick is screaming with joy and spinning around, while Sandy is trying to restrain him. SpongeBob is several metres away from the two, heavily embarrassed.)
 * SpongeBob (pointing to Patrick): I don't know him, I don't know him...
 * (Sandy loses her grip on Patrick and he goes crazy, running from attraction to attraction. He runs into an attraction called "Fudge Yourself", which is a shower with fudge coming out instead of water. Patrick is screaming like a madman as he licks the fudge off him. He runs away and goes to an attraction called the "Cluster-Fudge" which is a pick-and-mix of different fudge speared on a kebab stick.)
 * Patrick: Holy fudge! (He gets an extra-long stick and spears twenty different fudges on it, and they all slide into his mouth. A montage plays of Patrick eating different kinds of fudge in different ways, as different fudge-related attraction names fly across the screen, while "Sugar, Sugar" plays. The montage ends with Patrick in a huge pot of fudge, eating it with a giant spoon.)
 * (Cut to a dark night, where lightning is striking. A brown bubble floats around the Swiss City landscape, until it comes across a rotten warrior corpse, one of the victims of the Red Sky. The bubble enters into its mouth, and the man springs to life and reverse-decays. He coughs to check his voice is running inside the carcass.)
 * Dirty Bubble: Hello? Anyone there? Good, my voice is working. (He floats, taking the dead person he is using as a disguise with him.) Ooh, I see light. (He speeds up, until he is outside the Town Hall. He uses the man to knock on the door.) Someone there? I'm looking for Spo - I mean, a safe place to stay.
 * (Hoogra opens the door)
 * Hoogra: Come in. First, we'll have to sort you, if that's okay.
 * Dirty Bubble: I seriously hope I'm in goddamn North.
 * Hoogra: I'll test you.
 * Dirty Bubble: No damn testing, I wanna be in damn North.
 * Hoogra: I'm not usually this kind with newcomers, but go into North, if you're that keen.
 * Dirty Bubble: Here, have twenty dollars, just so you don't change your mind. (he smiles and gives money to Hoogra) SpongeBob, I'm coming for you. (he rubs his hands together)