Goofballs/May 17, 2015

Screenplay
SCENE 1

EXT. SEPTEM CITY - MIDDAY - WINTER

Pan through Septem City, showing various seven-related elements dotting the city, such as trees cut in the shape of a seven, buildings and statues of seven, children making snowballs in the shape of a seven and throwing them at each other.

EXT. CITY HALL BUILDING - FRONT ENTRANCE

The City Hall building stands in a flat area, with a double-door entrance and a few windows on its floors.

However, this peaceful view of the building is interrupted by the joyous cries of VIOLET, BOB and WILLIAM as they speed by the front of the building in a seven-shaped vehicle with fired rockets coming out of its back-end.

An enraged JASON walks out of the City Hall building as the seven rocket slows to a stop and tips over onto the ground.

JASON (maddened) What is going on out here!?

The three rocket-joyriders step out of the vehicle and walk back towards the building.

VIOLET It’s a seven rocket. We built it.

JASON Why?

WILLIAM We were bored.

JASON Do you guys realize how dangerous this is!? I mean, I’d expect this from you, Violet.

VIOLET (offended) Hey!

JASON (CONT’D) But Bob-- you’re supposed to be keeping an eye on these two.

BOB Yeah, I know, and I protested at first.

JASON Why’d you help them build it, then!?

BOB I was bored.

JASON Oh, my God! I mean, I’m okay with the whole seven thing, but this is taking it too far.

WILLIAM You can never go too far with seven.

VIOLET Yeah, I mean, Will’s right. The city’s even named after seven.

BOB Yeah, and we didn’t even name it that. Even since the city’s founding, the seven thing has been here. And (hesitantly) speed equals mass times... time... distance... (beat) It’s-- it’s been here a while, okay?

JASON (sighs exasperatedly) I’m going back to bed. Happy Sunday.

Jason grabs the newspaper in front of the entrance doors and walks back inside.

INT. CITY HALL - LOBBY

As Jason heads upstairs, he passes by an upbeat DA NERD coming downstairs.

DA NERD Morning, Jason.

JASON Shut up, Nerd.

DA NERD Whoa, what pissed in your cereal?

Da Nerd walks outside.

EXT. CITY HALL - ENTRANCE

Violet, Bob and William analyze their fallen rocket while discussing improvement.

DA NERD (to other three) Hey, guys.

VIOLET, WILLIAM, BOB (indistinctly) Hey, Da Nerd.

VIOLET Wow, you’re up today.

DA NERD Yeah, I actually got more than 2 hours of sleep last night. (genuine chuckle, then turns to awkward depressing chuckle) (beat) So, what you guys doing?

WILLIAM Seven rocket. Wanna help?

DA NERD H*ck yeah.

Da Nerd approaches the other three and the rocket and begins contributing his handiwork.

However, a few seconds into the four’s work, obnoxious fast-tempo flute music comes blaring from inside the City Hall building.

VIOLET Oh, what the hell?

The four walk inside City Hall and upstairs towards SIMON’s room.

INT. CITY HALL - SIMON’S ROOM

Bob kicks open Simon’s door to see him and ADAM sitting in front of a 77” ultra-HD TV with Flute Warriors 3 on its screen, blaring out the surround sound speaker system encompassing the room. Simon holds a flute-shaped controller and matches gems on-screen with buttons on the controller while simultaneously blowing to match rhythm.

The four standing in the doorway glare at the two. Simon pauses the game.

SIMON Oh, hi. What?

WILLIAM Y-- you know what, Simon.

SIMON Sorry, could you hear that downstairs?

BOB We could hear it from across the country. Turn it down, please?

ADAM A’ight. I got you, fam. Adam reaches over, picks up the remote and aims it at the TV with his thumb over the volume control.

However, Simon fills with rage in that Adam had invaded his room to watch him play Flute Warriors and he was giving him the privilege to even watch a master at work, and now he’s being so rude as to touch his remote with the intention of having control over the volume?

Simon grabs the remote from Adam and the two fight over it. Their battling dialogue follows along the lines of:

SIMON It’s my remote, Adam!

ADAM Shut up! I was near it!

etc.

The four walk in to break the lovebirds apart.

VIOLET Alright, that’s enough.

BOB Yeah, guys, come on.

During the fight, the remote ends up being thrown across the room.

SIMON, ADAM (groan)

DA NERD So, Flute Warriors, huh?

SIMON Yeah... what about it?

DA NERD I used to play this all the time. You guys gotten to “Fingers of Fury” yet?

SIMON No?

ADAM Oh, come on, spoiler alert, man!

DA NERD Sorry. It’s really hard, though.

SIMON Oh. Well, I mean, we -- (clears throat), I -- just got this game like last week.

DA NERD Wow, so you’re not even a Flute Amateur yet?

SIMON Nope.

DA NERD (sitting down on Simon’s bed) Ah. Have you had a Flute Battle yet?

SIMON Yeah, yeah, once, against this guy online.

DA NERD Cool. Did you win?

SIMON No, which is really weird because he sucked.

DA NERD Yeah, I know. Probably latency.

BOB Okay, so we’re gonna go build our rocket... um... you guys can keep... doing this. Just turn it down, okay?

SIMON (brushing off Bob) Yeah, yeah. (no beat) So, how long have you been playing?

DA NERD Ah, probably, what, 6 years now? 7, maybe? It’s been a while; ever since the first one.

Violet, Bob and William start to head out.

ADAM Yeah, we kinda just jumped into this one.

SIMON Shut up, Adam. So, what rank are you?

DA NERD Um... 76, which is like, a Flute God? Maybe a Flute Ruler? Not a Flute Warrior, I know that.

SIMON Ah, dude, you’re so close. You should get back into this!

DA NERD I really should. Hey, the fourth one’s coming out in a few months, maybe I can get my start back then.

SIMON No, man, sign in now! We’re doing this today.

DA NERD Wait, really? ’Cause it’s Sunday, and we kinda have work tomorrow.

SIMON We hardly have any work at all, but Violet, William, Bob, Jason, they do all the actual work.

DA NERD Wait, I do work.

SIMON (unconvinced) Uh-huh.

DA NERD (beat) Alright, screw it, hand me the flute.

Simon reaches to hand Da Nerd the flute controller.

EXT. CITY HALL - ENTRANCE

Violet, Bob and William put the finishing touches on the next revision of their seven rocket. The three get inside and Violet presses the single button on the interior of the rocket’s dashboard.

The rocket fires and launches. However, the launch comes to a surprisingly quick stop as the rocket crashes into the fence surrounding the building.

BOB Okay, maybe it would be a good idea if we had some way of steering.