An Introduction to Death

An Introduction to Death is the premiere episode of the spinoff Rewind.

Plot
SpongeBob and Patrick go to a new frozen yogurt place in Bikini Bottom in an attempt to bond. However, SpongeBob has recently been struggling with his friendship with Patrick, simply because he feels like he's matured and Patrick will always be "stuck". While at the frozen yogurt place, SpongeBob makes the seemingly innocent decision to get Macadamia nuts on his yogurt, something he's never tried before - and turns out to be highly allergic to. Patrick, being an idiot, makes the situation worse rather than saving his friend, which ultimately leads to his fatality. SpongeBob arrives in neither heaven or hell, but rather...some sort of sorting office. Neptune appears frustrated to see him. He wasn't supposed to die yet. Now tough decisions have to be made.

Transcript

 * The episode opens on SpongeBob and Patrick, walking together on a walkway in Bikini Bottom.
 * Patrick: Thanks for inviting me out to use that coupon with you, buddy! Boy, free frozen yogurt.
 * SpongeBob: Um...Patrick, the coupon says buy one, get one half-off.
 * Patrick: Half? Why does one of us only get half a frozen yogurt for free?
 * SpongeBob: (sigh) No, Patrick. There's no free frozen yogurt. You brought money, correct?
 * Patrick: Oh, yeah, of course I did! I've got my wallet right...(reaches into pants) Huh. Must be in my other pants.
 * SpongeBob: Patrick, I've only ever seen you wear one pair of pants.
 * Patrick: Huh? Oh. I guess I don't own a wallet.
 * (SpongeBob sighs again.)
 * SpongeBob: Don't worry about it, Patrick. I'll pay for your yogurt.
 * Patrick: Alright! Thanks, buddy! (Patrick pauses and looks at his frowning friend.) Hey, is something the matter? You seem kinda...down.
 * SpongeBob: Huh? Oh, no, Patrick, I'm fine. Don't worry about it.
 * Patrick: Don't worry about what? I forgot what we were talking about.
 * SpongeBob: (thinking to self) Of course you did, Patrick. You never change. I wish I could be like you and live in this oblivious state.
 * SpongeBob and Patrick reach the frozen yogurt shop as SpongeBob continues to think to himself.
 * SpongeBob: (thinking to self) I wish I understood what was happening to me. Why am I going through some kind of midlife crisis at thirty years old? Oh, I know why...most thirty-year-olds still feel like they're accomplishing something. I work at a dead-end job meant for sixteen-year-olds. I have two real friends, one of whom switches between almost comprehensible and completely braindead, and the other one who I got stuck in the friend zone with years ago.
 * Patrick: SpongeBob?
 * SpongeBob snaps out of his thoughts.
 * SpongeBob: Yeah?
 * Patrick: Do you think they have Triple Gooberberry Sunrises here?
 * SpongeBob: Probably not, Patrick. This is a frozen yogurt place, and it isn't part of the Goofy Goober franchise. You could get vanilla frozen yogurt, put some chocolate sauce on it, add some fruit in a certain pattern, and basically make the same thing.
 * Patrick: That sounds hard. Can you do it for me?
 * SpongeBob: Can I...(sigh) Yeah, sure, Patrick.
 * Patrick: Thanks, buddy! You're the best.
 * SpongeBob: (thinking to self again) Am I really? Sometimes I feel like I'm a real burden to people. Like Squidward. It's finally hit me after all these years that my presence seems to cause him some kind of emotional pain. And that's a real crappy feeling, knowing you're doing that to someone who you don't have any hard feelings for.
 * In progress!