Don’t Get Shot

Don’t Get Shot is the twenty-third episode of Total Drama SBFW. It aired December 22, 2019, and was written by DanzxvFan8275 and Purple133.

Transcript
(Episode opens with the final four sitting in the room as Waluigi arrives)

Waluigi: WAH! Gamers today we’re stranding you in the wilderness with some crazy hunters.

Vanessa: WAIT WHAT?! WHY?!

Image: No idea.

Dan: This sounds pretty gay not even gonna lie.

Joey: Oh dang I’m final four!

Waluigi: WAH! Shut up and follow me to the van.

(Everybody gets in Waluigi’s van and then after a short drive they are abandoned in the woods)

Waluigi: (driving away) DON’T GET SHOT!

Joey: Wait what?

(Gunshots followed by a pack of crazy rednecks)

Dan: OH FUCK!

(Dan sprints away but gets shot in the back of the leg)

Dan: Oh god this pain is so intense.

Image: Sounds like a you problem.

Dan: GET ME SOME MEDICAL ATTENTION!

Redneck Leader: I can lick it for ya!

Dan: DEAR GOD IT’S EXTREMELY STEREOTYPICAL REDNECKS!

Redneck Leader: Damn straight son.

Joey: Oh hey Dan while you were getting shot I went and purchased a burrito.

Image: what even.

Joey: I needed a burrito!

Image: Okay whatever.

Vanessa: Wait how am I still even in this game?

Joey: You never made any enemies.

Dan: You played it super safe the entire time.

Image: Yeah you let other people do the big moves for you.

Vanessa: WOW guys thanks.

Dan: It’s true.

(Vanessa kicks Dan in his leg causing him to scream in pain, causing the crazy redneck leader to shoot Dan in the other leg)

Dan: GODDAMMIT!

Vanessa: Dan I’m sorry!

Dan: YOU BITCH YOU JUST GOT ME SHOT IN THE LEG AGAIN!

Joey: Dan that isn’t nice language.

Dan: Shut the fuck up Joey do you even know how long I’ve wanted to see you eliminated?

Joey: Oh, okay.

Dan: Whatever I’m in extreme pain right now.

Image: Didn’t Waluigi say to not get shot?

Dan: Yeah, do I get punished now?

Waluigi: (appears) no, but you miss out on the prize.

Joey: Prize?

Waluigi: Yeah, the winner gets $100!

Dan: NOOOOOOOOOOOO

Image: I have to win this money.

Vanessa: Me too, it’s why I was born.

Joey: Oh.

(Vanessa gets shot in the arm)

Vanessa: GODDAMMIT!

Redneck Leader: Hahahaha. Now if you’ll excuse me I need to go make love to my cousi- I mean my wife.

Dan: Alabama much?

Redneck Leader: SHUT THE HELL UP!

Dan: I feel like this episode is just trying to make redneck jokes that aren’t funny now like they weren’t funny twenty years ago.

Vanessa: Yeah. Let’s sue the company.

Waluigi: (appears) woah, no. Don’t go there, we can’t afford another lawsuit.

Alex: (appears) NO NOT AGAIN. NOT AGAIN.

(Waluigi and Alex disappear)

Vanessa: Okay then.

Image: Hey wait, Dan and Vanessa got shot. Does that mean you guys lost the $100?

Waluigi: (appears again) the last person to get shot wins the $100. So yes Image, they lost.

Redneck Leader: Who are these people and why do they keep appearing?

“Little Person” Redneck: I don’t know. I really want them to go away but I don’t have my gun.

Image: Can I just say that if the zombie apocalypse ever starts I would bet a lot of money that you rednecks get us through the entire thing.

Redneck Leader: Damn right. You haven’t even seen our bombs.

(Suddenly Image and Joey get teleported away to a western shootout)

Image: What?

Joey: Yeah what?

Waluigi: I was getting bored of the rednecks.

Joey: Where did the other two go?

Alex: They’re in that saloon over there drinking all of their problems away.

(Cut to Dan and Vanessa doing shots)

Dan: Ahhhhhhhhh this is the life.

(Cut back to the shootout)

Waluigi: We’re making this episode more fun by putting you two in an epic shootout for who will win the prize.

Image: I want that prize.

Joey: Do we get guns?

Image: No, we don’t get guns in a SHOOTOUT.

Joey: That’s a little weird.

Image: Yes we get guns Joey.

Waluigi: You guys both get these squirt guns.

Image: Why only squirt guns?

Alex: Well you see uh we realized we legally had to pay for Dan and Vanessa’s medical bills so we decided to not have you two actually shoot each other.

(Joey confessional)

Joey: Lord help me, these people are insane.

(Cut to Alex leading Image to one side of a dirt path)

Alex: Image, you have to win this, I made a bet with Waluigi.

Image: How much did you bet?

Alex: My entire diamond collection.

Image: Oh shit this is serious.

Alex: Mhm.

(Cut to Waluigi leading Joey to the other side of the same dirt path)

Waluigi: WAH! Joey, you have to win this. I made a bet with Alex!

Joey: Well what did you bet?

Waluigi: My beloved taco stand.

Joey: Oh shit, this is serious.

Waluigi: Mhm.

(Alex hands Image her squirt gun)

Image: This is a nice squirt gun.

Alex: Waluigi made them. Just like he made that dart gun and that regular gun.

Image: Interesting.

(Waluigi hands Joey a real gun)

Joey: Woah woah woah, I thought we were getting squirt guns!

Waluigi: WAH! Image is, you aren’t.

Joey: You’re actually insane!

Waluigi: WAH! No the devs at Smash are!

Joey: Okay then.

(Image and Joey are in position to shoot each other)

Joey: I can’t do it, she can win.

Image: What?

(Image lowers her gun)

Joey: Waluigi gave me an actual gun!

Waluigi: Shut up insolent boy.

Alex: Oh that was part of the uh test.

(Alex whispers something inaudible to Waluigi)

Waluigi: WAH!

Alex: Looks like you win Image.

Image: Yay! Thanks so much Joey!

Joey; Yeah it’s no problem.

Alex: Image, go enjoy your spa day.

(Image confessional)

Image: You know, Joey letting me win this challenge makes me want to get him to the end slightly more than the other two at this point.

(Joey confessional)

Joey: It’s all going according to plan. That act of kindness I gave to Image might make the difference on whether or not I go to the final two or not.

(The episode closes with Joey chuckling and then coughing uncontrollably)