An Absorbent Christmas

An Absorbent Christmas is the sixth episode of the Absorbent Days series and the sixth episode of season one. Everyone in Bikini Bottom receives a present from Bikini Bottom, yet it continues to turn into sea rock. Yet, SpongeBob is bursting with Christmas excitement. He receives presents every year from his mother and father, which he recalls in his scrapbook. He opens every present, including one from Gary. The final present was lying there, and it said it was sent from Santa Swordfish, the jolliest, happiest fish in the Pacific Northwest Pole who gives presents to all of the good fish in the sea. The present was not what SpongeBob expected, for it was a lump of sea rock. SpongeBob is saddened, for he thought he was being a good sea sponge. SpongeBob sees a mob begin to start in Bikini Bottom over them getting sea rock, yet he knows that this is not right. He takes another look at the box and finds a letter from Santa himself, calling for help. SpongeBob must travel to the Pacific Northwest Pole to save Santa, yet can he save Santa and stop the mob?

Characters

 * SpongeBob SquarePants
 * Squidward Tentacles
 * Eugene H. Krabs
 * Sheldon J. Plankton
 * Miscellaneous Bikini Bottomites

Transcript

 * [episode starts at Squidward's houe trying to practice his clarinet, yet failing]
 * Squidward: [sighs] This clarinet's faulty! I don't even want to waste another breath in this wooden piece of junk! [throws clarinet out of window] Well, back to the flute it is.[hears knock on door] Who would be out of their house on Christmas morning?
 * [scene cuts to Squidward opening his front door, unveiling a package]
 * Squidward: What object does this box contain? [opens package] Is this what I think it is? An 1884 Seatrain authenticated Jewelbox clarinet? These are extremely rare and expensive! [looks down and sees note] What's this?
 * Narrator: [reads note] I knew your clarinet was deemed the worst, and overheard you swear and curse. But I hope your troubles are washed away with this authentic clarinet by Jewelbox Bay.
 * Squidward: Sincerely, Santa Swordfish?! The jolly fish that delivers presents to all the good fish in the sea? Thank you, Santa! [rushes up stairs with clarinet to the bedroom]
 * [Squidward turns sheet music to random song and begins to play with a beautiful tone]
 * Squidward: [stops playing] Oh, this sound is divine! [resumes playing]
 * [Squidward stops playing when a flash occurs]
 * Squidward: What was that? [clarinet turns to rock and falls to ground] And why did my clarinet turn to sea rock?! Why, Henry?! [grabs pitchfork] Time to gather the riot. All these years, I've received gifts from Santa. And now he's turned on me! But no longer!
 * [scene cuts to Mr. Krab flipping a quarter with his claw]
 * Mr. Krabs: Oh, quarter. Do you know what you remind me of? Money, and do you know what money reminds me of? Christmas, and do you know what Christmas reminds me of?
 * SpongeBob: Order up, Mr. Krabs. [hands Mr. Krabs plate which he gives to a customer]
 * Male Fish 1: Thank you, Krabs. You know, if I did not know any better, I'd say you raised your price for the Krabby Patty by thirty dollars.
 * Mr. Krabs: Oh no, the zero is put there for advertisement, so burglars will pay full price when they steal something. And that means you can stop a burglar by paying full price.
 * Male Fish 1: Ah, that makes perfect sense!
 * Mr. Krabs: But why stop one burglar, when you can stop one burglar for the price of two?
 * Male Fish 1: Good deal! [gives Mr. Krabs cash money]
 * Mr. Krabs: Sucker. [chuckles] Christmas. Oh Christmas reminds me of...more money. [flips through bill and begins to sniff] Is that what I think I smell? [runs to source of smell] It is! It's a vintage one billion dollar bill of 1787! These are worth a fortune! [blinded by flash] Strange.
 * SpongeBob: What's that there, Mr. Krabs?
 * Mr. Krabs: A vintage one billion dollar bill!
 * SpongeBob: You may want to take a closer look there, sir.
 * Mr. Krabs: [looks closer] Negative one billion dollars?! [picks up note and reads it] Merry Christmas, Santa Swordfish. Why that coniving...!
 * SpongeBob: Calm down, Mr. Krabs. Those don't even exist anymore, or even back then.
 * Mr. Krabs: It's not just that, boy-o. Look!
 * [SpongeBob looks at pieces of sea rock on ground]
 * SpongeBob: Something strange is going on here indeed, Mr. Krabs. But this is the holidays. Perk and up and spread some Christmas cheer. See you tomorrow, Mr. Krabs. [rushes out galloping of Krusty Krab]
 * Mr. Krabs: Fine, I'll give something alright. Santa's going to get what he deserves. [takes pitchfork from wall and heads out of Krusty Krab]
 * REST COMING SOON