Assault and Jewelry

Assault and Jewelry is the third episode of the spin-off, Sworn to Secrecy, and the third episode of season one. In this episode, Plankton and Mr. Krabs both have their eye on a ruby at the Barg N' Mart for different reasons. Plankton ends up getting the ruby, yet is threatened by Mr. Krabs. Plankton begins gloating to everyone around town that he knows about the ruby and how much it cost. Later that same day, Sandy heads over to the Chum Bucket to retrieve an engraving pen that Plankton borrowed, only to find Plankton laying half-conscious and crippled on a dining table. After rushing him to the hospital, Plankton is interrogating by the entire team in order to find clues to the attacker. Can they find the attacker? Who is the attacker?

Characters

 * SpongeBob SquarePants
 * Sandy Cheeks
 * Squidward Tentacles
 * Patrick Star
 * Sheldon Plankton
 * Eugene Krabs
 * Old Man Jenkins (debut)
 * Employee 1
 * Nurse 1
 * Nurse Nancy (debut; cameo)
 * Nurse 2

Transcript

 * [episode begins with a medium shot of Bikini Bottom; the camera quickly pans through buildings; the camera stops at a certain building, yet continues to slowly pan around in an office space, showing many fish working; others are conversing on break; others are causing messes; the camera begins panning around the city to different places and different fish; the camera finally ends the pan at a sidewalk, fitted with many connected buildings; the sidewalk is fairly empty with only few fish strolling; Plankton is seen as one of these strollers]
 * Plankton: [on phone] I know, honey! I'm on the sidewalk right now! [pause] Yeah, I know I wouldn't have to do this if I had done it earlier. Would you stop calling me?! I'll find something, honey...and you're wasting my minutes! [hangs up] Gosh, doesn't that women ever sleep? [walks into store] I even programmed her with a sleep mode.
 * Employee 1: [walks up to Plankton] Welcome to the Barg N' Mart. Is there anything I can get for you today?
 * Plankton: [growls and stomps away] Why does everyone have to ask something of me today?! [looks around] Does she want a new screen wiper? A new set of wheels? What does she want?!
 * Employee 1: [walks up to Plankton again] Sir, if I can make a suggestion, why not just get her a watch?
 * Plankton: Are you kidding?! That would short circuit her wires! [looks down] I mean...[looks back up] those are too tacky for her. She wants something more fitting.
 * Employee 1: Fitting, eh? How about some clothes?
 * Plankton: Clothes? What would my wife want with some clothes? It's obvious you now know she's a computer.
 * Employee 1: How would I know what would fit her? [walks away]
 * Plankton: [looks around store again] I'm never going to find anything. Why don't they have a "this is perfect for your computer wife" aisle? [facepalm] I know that doesn't sound practical. [throws hands up] Sometimes I just wish the perfect thing would fall right out of the sky. [a red ruby falls to the ground; looks back] "The Sky", for all of your aircraft related parts. [adores the ruby] Wow. Such beauty. This would surely make the perfect gift for Karen.
 * Employee 1: [picks up ruby] I would like it if people didn't have to drop expensive items on the ground all of the time.
 * Plankton: You mean you don't enjoy it?
 * Employee 1: No, I do. It's just that I'm not allowed to take it home with me. [places the ruby onto a display case] It's for sell, now.
 * Plankton: For sale? [imagines giving the ruby to Karen and receiving the secret formula; jumps excitingly] I want that ruby! I want that ruby! [takes out wallet] What's your asking price?
 * Employee 1: Well, for items such as this one, I'd say...five hundred clams.
 * Plankton: Whoo. That's mighty pricey. But I better come up with some cash, or else I'll never hear the end of it. Literally. Karen runs off of a uranium tube. She could keep this going even after I'm in the ground. [sighs; speaks aloud] Mister, wait! I can come up with the cash somehow! Keep that item on hold for me. I'll see how many coins I can round up around this store. There has to be at least a thousand dollars of change dispersed around here.
 * Employee 1: He he. Well, good luck with that. I'm only aloud to keep items on hold for ten minutes.
 * Plankton: Ten minutes?!
 * Employee 1: Why do you think we have so little customers come into the hold checkout? [points to a dark room filled with cobwebs and hanging, flickering lights]
 * Plankton: Then I'll try my best! This isn't my first rodeo gathering coins inside of a convience store.
 * Employee 1: Really? You've done it before?
 * Plankton: How do you think I could afford the wallet? [begins running around, gathering coins]
 * Female Fish: [at checkout; laughing] And I thought that Samantha was the one that ate the cake. But obviously, that's not the case. [drops coin; Plankton catches it speedily]
 * Plankton: Rooky mistake, lady! [looks at coin] Really? A one clam coin?
 * Female Fish: These are hard times we're living in, you bacteria, now hand over the coin!
 * Plankton: Yeah right! [hops over female fish's approaching hand] Ha ha ha! [runs away]
 * [scene cuts to Mr. Krabs, walking in the store as well]
 * Mr. Krabs: The big 22 today. I wonder what she wants for her birthday today, my Pearl. [thinks] Twenty two. Two two. Hmm...maybe a tu-tu! Maybe that's what she'll want. [phone rings; answers phone] What is it?
 * Pearl: [on other line] What is it? What is it?! I'll tell you what it is! I don't want a tu-tu for my twenty-second birthday! I'm too old for those! [hangs up]
 * Mr. Krabs: [hangs up] Curse you whales and your super hundred-something mile radius hearing! [continues walking] Then I better find something else for my Pearl.
 * Plankton: [under an aisle, crawling to a coin] Almost there. A one hundred clam coin! He he he! That'll be enough to buy the ruby! It's all I need left! [grabs coin; the coin outreaches to Mr. Krabs's foot, slipping him] Krabs?!
 * Mr. Krabs: [falling] Aah! [hand accidentally knocks over the ruby, causing the ruby to fall into Mr. Krabs's hand] Eh? What's this?
 * Plankton: [hops onto ruby] It's mine, that's what it is! Now hand it over, Krabs!
 * Mr. Krabs: I'll hand it over when I'm served on a silver platter!
 * Plankton: You know what they say about how things can be arranged! [Mr. Krabs stands up; the two are now in a tug-of-war over the ruby] Let...it...go!
 * Mr. Krabs: Not in a million years!
 * Plankton: We'll see about that! So what are you going to do with this ruby, Krabs?
 * Mr. Krabs: Take it to Pearl, though I don't see how that's any of your business!
 * Plankton: What about before you leave the store?
 * Mr. Krabs: I'll take it to the checkout? [gasps; faints, releasing grip on ruby]
 * Plankton: [holds up ruby] Success. [places ruby on conveyer belt] I'll take little ruby to go, cashier.
 * Cashier: That's kind of the point of a checkout. [scans ruby's tag and places the ruby in bag]
 * Plankton: He he he. [takes bag and begins exiting the store; stopped by Mr. Krabs]
 * Mr. Krabs: You may have won this round, Plankton, but this isn't over. I'll tell you that! If I don't get that ring for Pearl, she's going to kill me. And then I'll sic her on you.
 * Plankton: Isn't over?! Krabs, who's the one with the ruby in a bag?! [laughs evilly and passes by Mr. Krabs]
 * Mr. Krabs: [turns around; growls] Plankton.
 * [scene cuts to Plankton, walking down the sidewalk, wearing the ruby]
 * Plankton: [rubs hands together] Who should I gloat to first? [looks around] Nope. [looks around] Don't know him...or her. [looks around] Perfect. Old Man Jenkins. [walks over to OMJ]
 * Old Man Jenkins: [in rocking chair] Why, if it isn't Plankton. My old-time kindergarten reading partner.
 * Plankton: Too bad you couldn't read.
 * Old Man Jenkins: What do you want?
 * Plankton: Oh, nothing much. Just wanted to show you [holds up ruby] this.
 * Old Man Jenkins: Why, that there is beautiful. [leans back] That must have costed a thousand clams. A ring like that is nice. Bloody gosh I love that ring.
 * Plankton: En contrare, geezer. This here costed only three thousand clams.
 * Old Man Jenkins: Only? You have that much cash on you
 * Plankton: Respectively. [walks away] I'll leave you to your...middle class life.
 * [scene cuts to Plankton, walking down the sidewalk]
 * Plankton: Who should be my next quarry? [looks around] I never realized the amount of people I don't know in this town. [looks around] Except for that guy! [points to Squidward; hops in front of Squidward]
 * Squidward: Out of my way, Plankton. I'm late for work.
 * Plankton: Since when do you care?
 * Squidward: Ever since I started working for such a serious job, so let me by!
 * Plankton: Fine, if you don't want to see a...five hundred thousand clam ruby. [begins walking away]
 * Squidward: Five hundred thousand clam ruby? [stops Plankton] What are you talking about?
 * Plankton: I'm talking about the half-a-million clam I'm wearing on my finger...stubs.
 * Squidward: Where did you get such a piece of jewelry? Who cares?! Not only does that ring look beautiful. It looks even more beautiful on me.
 * Plankton: As if. And none of your business. As if you'll ever go there. [walks away] Have fun basking in the light of the ruby as I walk away.
 * Squidward: [scoffs] Single cells. [walks toward agency] Always so gloatful.
 * [scene cuts to inside the ERGBB agency; Squidward and Sandy are inside, walking around in the hallways]
 * Squidward: So, I don't know the true value of the ruby, but I wonder how he could have afforded it.
 * Sandy: No idea. I bet he gloated about it, huh?
 * Squidward: Oh yeah. I bet I was just one of the many victims.
 * Sandy: Yep. It's a good thing that you don't have to see him for the rest of the day. [facepalms] Oh, wait. I just remembered something.
 * Squidward: Does it have to do with Plankton?
 * Sandy: [sighs] What do you think? I have to ask him for a pen back.
 * Squidward: Are you saying you gave him that engraving spy pen?
 * Sandy: No! I'm not that crazy. I gave the pen to Mr. Krabs for some odd reason, but he claimed Plankton also needed it for something else.
 * Squidward: I see. [stops walking] I better get to my station now. I'm already late.
 * Sandy: Okay. I have to get going to Plankton's anyway. I better get going as well.
 * Squidward: Have fun.
 * Sandy: Maybe.
 * [Squidward disappears to another hallway; SpongeBob and Patrick appear around the corner from said hallway]
 * SpongeBob: So, what's all of this about a ruby?
 * Patrick: Apparently, Plankton claims he has a one hundred thousand dollar ruby that he's going to give to Karen.
 * SpongeBob: One hundred thousand dollar ruby?
 * Patrick: I may not be an expert, but I don't think that rubies and what not are produced underwater.
 * SpongeBob: It had to come from land...or some female's purse.
 * Patrick: I think so. Plankton has been known to, well, deceive.
 * SpongeBob: And gloat about it, too. That ruby doesn't seem to be one hundred grand to me. [thinks] I'd say a couple hundred at the greatest. It was a bargain anyway.
 * Patrick: How do you know it was a bargain?
 * SpongeBob: [both SpongeBob and Patrick stop walking] Repeat what you claimed Plankton said to you.
 * Patrick: Well, to the best of my memory, I think he said "This ruby didn't come cheap for someone such as yourself, though. This ruby cost more than one hundred grand, I'll have you know. To me, it was more of a deal." [thinks] I'm not following.
 * SpongeBob: You're on your way, pink one. [pats Patrick on back and walks away]
 * [scene cuts to the Chum Bucket; Sandy is pulling up in her boat]
 * Sandy: [stops in sand] Here we are. The Chum Bucket. [turns off radio] I've never been so happy to turn off talk radio. [gets out of boat; closes door; stops in front of Chum Bucket] Doesn't this place have, like, a doorbell? [doorbell rings; door opens automatically] This would be surprising if we didn't already have this at the agency. [walks into the Chum Bucket dining room; the room is dimly lit with only two lights on] Gosh. Doesn't Plankton make enough to pay the electric bills?
 * Karen: [walks into dining room] What are you doing here?
 * Sandy: [turns around] Ah! Oh. [places hand to chest; inhales and exhales deeply] I don't think my heart can take all of these scares I face.
 * Karen: Did Plankton invite you over? He said he was having some company over.
 * Sandy: I came to get my engraving pen back from him.
 * Karen: Oh, this dasterdly thing? [holds up pen] I accidentally used it on the renting bill and now I have to wait another six months to get another. [sighs; tosses pen to Sandy]
 * Sandy: [catches pen] Sorry about that. Well, farewall. [turns around to leave; stops] Hey. Have you seen Plankton around here? It seems as though he's not here.
 * Karen: He's been out all day. And it's getting late for such a plankton as himself. I'm going to have to kick his butt now, [looks down] that Plankton. It seems pointless doing such a thing, especially since I'm going to punish him for seconds.
 * Sandy: [chuckles] Poor Plankton, I guess.
 * Karen: Yep. I hope nothing's happened to him out there. [turns on all lights] Why does he always keep these lights off. I know the electric bills can get high, but if I need to see I need to see. I'll be in the lab if you need me. [walks into laboratory]
 * Sandy: [throws pen up and catches it] I wonder where Plankton is. It is three o'clock. [sits down in seat] I hope he didn't get caught in a glass filled with water. Or orange juice. He's always saying how he's allergic to orange juice. [thinks] Hmm. Maybe he's using the pulp as a life preserver.
 * Plankton: [gruntfully] Not unless I get beaten to one.
 * Sandy: Plankton? Where are you?
 * Plankton: I'm...oof...right behind you.
 * Sandy: [turns around in seat; sees a crippled Plankton] Plankton! Oh, goodness! [picks up Plankton] What happened to you?
 * Plankton: No...time to...explain. I feel too drowsy. [turns head to left]
 * Sandy: No no, now Plankton. [gently turns Plankton's head] Stay with me right now. [turns to laboratory] I wouldn't want to disturb Karen right now. [presses button on belt] There. The ambulance should be here soon.
 * Plankton: That's good. [sighs] But I think I'll take a quick nap.
 * Sandy: Not yet. I think you can sleep all you want at the hospital, but you're going to have to stay awake right now.
 * [scene cuts to the hospital; Sandy parks her boat speedily, along with speedily exiting the car and speedily running into the hospital]
 * Sandy: [in hospital] Help! Somebody get this little guy some assistance! Help us!
 * Nurse 1: Okay. Okay. [grabs Plankton] I'll take it from here. [runs carefully with Plankton to hospital room]
 * Sandy: Will he be okay? [begins walking ton Plankton, only to be stopped by other nurses] Wait! No! Doctor, will he be okay?!
 * Nurse 1: [looks back] I'll make sure to take great care of him, honey!
 * Sandy: [sighs; whispers] Okay. [nurses back away] Why don't I take a seat? [takes a seat in waiting chair]
 * [scene cuts to a medium shot of the hospital; about an hour has passed and Sandy has dosed off in the waiting chair]
 * Nurse 1: [shaking Sandy] Squirrel. Oh, squirrel. [shakes harder] Gosh, she's in a deep sleep. If I didn't know any better I'd say she was in a coma. [looks at watch] How many more hours until my shift is up? This is wasting my time. [facepalm] Ah, great. My watch is broken. Oh, nuts!
 * Sandy: [awakes quickly] Huh?! Nuts?! Where?! [shakes head] There are no nuts are there?
 * Nurse 1: No, no nuts. But I do have something better.
 * [scene cuts to the nurse and Sandy in a room]
 * Nurse 1: He's right over there. [points to a bed where Plankton is sleeping]
 * Sandy: Is he...okay?
 * Nurse 1: He should be for now. As long as he doesn't have too much noise in here. We need to keep as much loud sound from in this room as possible.
 * Sandy: That may be a problem. I invited some...friends.
 * Squidward: [looks into room] Wow! This room is beautiful! Just look at the amount of artwork in here! [points to painting] Is that the "Stained-Glass Portrait"? [leaves room] Just perfect. Hey guys! They're in here!
 * Sandy: [looks at an annoyed nurse] Well, at least he's not in the room anymore.
 * Nurse 1: [growls; to self] Fish...or...squirrels. [sticks head out of room to see the approaching ERGBB team] Whoa! Whoa! No one is allowed in here without authorization.
 * SpongeBob: [takes out badge] We're partners of Sandy Cheeks from the ERGBB agency.
 * Nurse 1: That's great, but you still need to sign the authorization for both you and your friends.
 * SpongeBob: [turns around; looks back at the rest of the team] Fine. I'll catch up with you guys later. [walks toward desk with nurse]
 * Patrick: [walks into room] What's going on here?
 * Sandy: Plankton's been abused severely, Patrick. [leans over bed] I saw him last at the Chum Bucket, lying half conscious on a dining table. [sighs]
 * Patrick: Well, you know what we're going to have to do, right Sandy?
 * Sandy: [turns around] Yeah, I know. But can we wait until he wakes up to do it. Asking him questions while he's asleep seems kind of pointless.
 * Patrick: [sarcastically] Of course, because I was just dying to ask him questions while he's in a coma.
 * Sandy: Don't say that, Patrick!
 * Patrick: Well don't get your hopes up too high either, Sandy! There's a good chance that he's...
 * Sandy: You so much as dare say it and I'll get the whole team of nurses to come and kick you to the...
 * Plankton: [grunting while awakening; rubs eye] Whoo. I was awoken by the sound of bickering. [yawns] What's going on?
 * Sandy: Oh, just great. Now you've awoken him!
 * Plankton: [grunts] No, Sandy. It's okay. [grunts] I'm fully rested. Just in a little pain.
 * SpongeBob: [walks into room] I'm back. [exhales] Gosh, that line is so long, they might as well hold an annual marathon. [sighs] But I made it. [points to Plankton] What's wrong with Plankton?
 * Sandy: He got abused severely.
 * SpongeBob: [leans in closer] How, Plankton? Who did this to you?
 * Plankton: Well, the memory is kind of hazy. [leans to the right] All I can really remember are fists. And feet. And, well, darkness. Probably when I blacked out.
 * SpongeBob: Yikes. You must have gotten ruffed up pretty badly.
 * Sandy: SpongeBob! You guys aren't helping. This is serious business.
 * SpongeBob: And that's what we do, Sandy. Serious business. Now that Mr. Plankton is awake, then it's the perfect time to ask him a couple of questions.
 * Sandy: Really? Right now?
 * SpongeBob: Well I wouldn't expect him to do as well when he's asleep. [flips open notepad]
 * Sandy: Why do you open up a flipbook when there's nothing written in it?
 * SpongeBob: Ms. Cheeks, please. This flipbook never leaves my sight. Well, except for when I'm entering the agency. The Espionage Bot just has to take all my stuff before entering. [stops flipping through pages] Ah. Here we are. [reads question] "Where were you on the day of today"? Wait, that doesn't sound right.
 * Patrick: You're dam- right it doesn't. [snatches flipbook] Let's do this the right way, SpongeBob.
 * SpongeBob: [whining] But that's no fun. [steps out of the way]
 * Patrick: Plankton, who do you think might have done such a thing to you?
 * Plankton: Well, I don't want to tell you how to do your job, but the real question is "why would they do such a thing to me"?
 * Patrick: Well, that depends on the motive.
 * Plankton: Motive? A motive? [mumbling to self] The only thing I can think of is showing that ruby to everybody.
 * SpongeBob: Of course! The ruby! I think you gloating to everyone about the ring must've set somebody on the wrong side of the coral.
 * Plankton: Oh, what have I done.
 * Patrick: Did anyone say anything that sounded suspicious or unsettling?
 * Plankton: Well, not really.
 * Patrick: Can you repeat some of the things they said that stood out to you?
 * Plankton: Well, Old Man Jenkins claimed that the ruby was "bloody gosh beautiful". And that fiend Krabs claimed that if Pearl didn't get the ruby, then she would kill him and that he would sic her onto me.
 * Patrick: [writes down notes into flipbook] There we go. That's all we need. [closes flipbook; the team begin to rush out of the room]
 * Plankton: They left me here.[sighs] When do they not?
 * [scene cuts to Old Man Jenkin's house; the team are pulling up in the driveway]
 * Old Man Jenkins: [leaning back in rocking chair] Why isn't this peaceful? [hears car door shut; stands up in fright to see ERGBB marching up driveway] Is this raid?! If you don't leave in the next split second, I'll have the police come and arrest you in a fraction of that time.
 * SpongeBob: No need to get the police. [holds up badge] Their already here.
 * Patrick: And we're here to ask a certain fish a couple of questions.
 * OMJ: If this is because my rocking chair is causing to much sound for the neighbors...
 * Patrick: No. Nothing like that.
 * OMJ: Then I wouldn't know any other crime I could commit.
 * Patrick: How about attempted murder? [opens flipbook]
 * OMJ: [chuckles] I think I would know if I would try to commit attempted murder.
 * Patrick: Perfect. Then you have a problem telling us how you did.
 * OMJ: But I didn't. Therefore you have nothing.
 * Patrick: Yes, we do have something. We have a problem. You better tell us how you attempted murder on a Mr. Sheldon Plankton or else you'll be hearing from our lawyers.
 * OMJ: Plankton? That little gloater?! He came across here with a fancy ruby about the size of...
 * Patrick: Yeah, we know the story. Yet, what we don't know is what your response to Mr. Plankton was.
 * OMJ: All I said was that the ruby was beautiful.
 * Patrick: [takes out pen] Exactly how beautiful did you say the ruby was?
 * OMJ: Well, I'll have you know that I am from, how you say, the country side of Bikini Bottom. I prefer to use my country draw.
 * Patrick: Is this getting anywhere?
 * OMJ: I claimed that the ruby was "bloody gosh beautiful".
 * Patrick: Ah ha! So you admit to stealing the ruby for your own selfish greed and beating Plankton down in order to do so?
 * OMJ: I never admitted to anything.
 * Patrick: Except for what you said: bloody. I believe that such a word can be held against you. Lucky for you, we have one more suspect in our quarry. [closes flipbook]
 * SpongeBob: Quarry? Never use that word in a case. It makes you seem less serious. [chuckles] Quarry.
 * Patrick: [scoffs] That makes us seem less serious? [all of the team load into a car]
 * [scene cuts to Mr. Krabs's anchor]
 * SpongeBob: [steps out of car] You guys better take this one. I'll stay out of sight.
 * Sandy: Good idea. [signals rest of team to head to front door; knocks on door] Hello, Espionage and Reconnaisance Group of Bikini Bottom. Open up! We have few questions.
 * Mr. Krabs: Just a second.
 * Squidward: It's been a second. [places pin inside of door knob; pin explodes, thus causing the door to fly open] I love doing that.
 * Pearl: [looks up from magazine] Dad! The police are here!
 * Mr. Krabs: [offscreen] Police? [rushes downstairs] Not just the police. Spies! [clears throat] Why, hello there. Welcome to the Krusty Krab. I mean, my abode.
 * Sandy: [puts hand up] We're just here to ask you a few questions.
 * MK: [sits on stair] Give them to me.
 * Sandy: Well, a Mr. Plankton is reported to have come across this house. Is that correct?
 * MK: Yeah.
 * Sandy: Well, it seems that he came across here with...
 * MK: ...With a big red ruby that he keeps rubbing in everyone's faces, huh? Yep. He did.
 * Sandy: We understand it is your daughter's birthday today. We also know that you wanted to get her a ruby for her birthday. Well, with that being said, it seems that Plankton was severely abused today by an unknown person. And, Mr. Krabs, you seem to be one of our suspects.
 * MK: Then you might as well investigate the whole town while you're at it.
 * Sandy: We might just have to do that, Mr. Krabs.
 * MK: What do you want to know?
 * Sandy: What were your exact words that you said to Mr. Plankton when he showed you the ruby?
 * MK: That ruby was supposed to be mine! [calms self] The only thing I said to him was that Pearl was going to be mad with me and then I would unleash her anger onto Plankton.
 * Sandy: Perfect. [writes down quote into flipbook]
 * MK: That's it. You're not going to run me into the big house?
 * Sandy: Not this time, Mr. Krabs.
 * [the team departs the scene]
 * [scene cuts to the meeting room in the agency]
 * SpongeBob: Well now what do we do?
 * Patrick: We keep searching. Something has to turn up sooner or later.
 * Sandy: Yeah. All we need to do is go back to Plankton and ask him some more questions to get to the right suspect.
 * SpongeBob: [large screen rings] The wall's beeping. [presses button on remote; Nurse Nancy appears on the screen]
 * Nurse Nancy: Hello, ERGBB.
 * Sandy: How is Plankton doing, Nurse Nancy?
 * NN: He's doing better. He's not grunting anymore and he's staying pretty much more awake.
 * Sandy: Did he say anything?
 * NN: Some of the weirdest, and kind of more personal, things he told me. Yet, he did mention some about his attacker.
 * Patrick: Give it to us, Nurse Nancy.
 * NN: He claimed his attacker was taller than an average fish. He claimed that it was white and had a sort of mechanical sound. That's all he said.
 * Nurse 2: [in background] Nurse Nancy, we need you. [walks back into room]
 * NN: Got to go. [shuts off signal; wall television turns off]
 * SpongeBob: [stands up] I think we have our attacker, team. [walks out of room; team quickly follows behind]
 * Sandy: Who do you think is our attacker?
 * SpongeBob: Oscar's latest addition to the agency: [stops walking; points] The Espionage Bot.
 * Oscar: [walks out of office] I see you guys have found my new innovation, eh?
 * SpongeBob: Yep, and we just have a couple of questions for this little machine.
 * Oscar: Nothing about that machine is little. Excluding the price, this machine is stronger than three agents combined, has the speed of a track and field racer, and...well, some other things.
 * Espionage Bot: [raises hand to wave, making a mechanical sound] Hello there.
 * SpongeBob: [looks up to EB] Hello there. We just have to run a couple of questions by you.
 * EB: Okay, SpongeBob.
 * SpongeBob: Where were you on the day of today?
 * EB: I was standing right here.
 * SpongeBob: Ah. You didn't travel anywhere today?
 * EB: No. Just stood right here all day.
 * SpongeBob: [sighs] Well, forget this then, Espionage Bot. [walks away]
 * Sandy: Now who's left?
 * SpongeBob: Well. Old Man Jenkins is too weak to do that much damage to Plankton and he's not white. Mr. Krabs was too held up with Pearl's birthday party to fight Plankton and isn't white. Who does that leave?
 * Sandy: Well, it had to be someone close to him. Someone who had direct access to the Chum Bucket.
 * Patrick: I would have to say...[gasps]
 * SpongeBob: Oh, for Neptune's sake, just say it! Karen!
 * [rest of team gasps]
 * Sandy: But why would she do such a thing?
 * SpongeBob: And the interrogation stays alive.
 * [scene cuts to the Chum Bucket; the team are at the front doors, which open automatically]
 * Sandy: Hmm. The dining area is strangely lit now.
 * Karen: [walks into dining area] It certainly is. The only thing that makes it brighter is this ruby that Plankton got for me.
 * SpongeBob: Save the act for the courthouse. Karen Plankton, you're arrested for attempted murder of your husband, Sheldon Plankton.
 * Karen: [sighs] How did you guys piece it together?
 * Sandy: It was actually pretty simple. When I first visited, you used connotation so I wouldn't recognize your crime. You claimed Plankton has been out all day, which now I see really meant that you knocked him unconscious. Next, you claimed you would have to do it for "seconds", which means you might have done it again.
 * SpongeBob: Not to mention that he describes that the attacker had to be taller than an average fish, strong, and had a mechanical sound.
 * Karen: I'm well aware of that. But as you can see, I'm not white.
 * SpongeBob: We happened to think about that too, Karen. Since we suspected that Plankton was already being abused, the glow from the ruby would have led him to believe that the person was white. You knew that he might have thought that, so you thought ahead. If Plankton came to his senses and see it was you, he could rat you out to the police. So, you turned out the dining room lights so that he wouldn't have suspected a glow from the ruby pinned to you.
 * Karen: [growls] Does that mean I'm going to jail?
 * Patrick: Precisely. But I just have one more question? Why did you abuse Mr. Plankton?
 * Karen: [holds up ruby] Well, apparently, my husband gave me a ruby that was engraved to a "Jennie", not "Karen". I've had it up to [stretches robotic hand to ceiling] here [retracts arm] with Plankton.
 * Patrick: We understand. We also understand we have to bring you to jail.
 * Karen: [places hands behind back] I understand. [allows handcuffs to be placed on hands]
 * Patrick: You have the right to remain silent. [begins escorting Karen to the outside of the Chum Bucket]
 * SpongeBob: [looks at ruby] Well, this is the strangest thing.
 * Sandy: What is?
 * SpongeBob: Well, Jennie was the name of Mr. Krabs's late wife, Jennie Krabs.
 * Sandy: That is weird. Mr. Krabs had the engraving pen first. He must have put the ruby on hold and secretly engraved it with Jennie's name.
 * SpongeBob: But why? [thinks] It makes sense! It would have made the perfect gift for Pearl! We have to get this to him fast.
 * [scene cuts to the ERGBB at Mr. Krabs's house; the team hands Mr. Krabs the ruby]
 * Mr. Krabs: [holds up ruby; looks at engraving] Yep. This is it. Thank you, ERGBB. [closes door slowly]
 * [Mr. Krabs hand the ruby to Pearl, engraving first; Mr. Krabs and Pearl hug each other; Pearl places the ruby next to a picture of Jennie Krabs over the fire place]
 * Mr. Krabs: Happy birthday, Pearl.
 * Pearl: It is now, dad. It is now.
 * [episode ends]