Newfanonland

Newfanonland is the fifteenth episode of SBFW Quest. It aired March 23, 2019 and was written by Purple133 and AlternativeHuman93.

Transcript
(Episode opens with CrazySponge surrounded by a midevil construction crew consisting of Purps, Matchy, and Lock)

Lock: Why do we have to do this again?

Crazy: Because I’m the king now!

Purps: Since when?

Crazy: Since I saved all of our asses by talking to my dentist and getting this plot of land to build “Newfanonland”.

Lock: Yeah and?

Crazy: And now you all must build up Fanonland again. Well Newfanonland. Also, Ponyo went on the run.

Purps: Where did she go?

Crazy: I DON’T KNOW! ON THE RUN?

Matchy: I feel like everyone hates me.

Lock: I feel like I’d get a lot of hate too if I fapped in class.

Matchy: GRRR. SHUT UP!

(Matchy throws a shovel at Lock’s nose)

Lock: That hurt.

Alt: Did you not deserve it?

Lock: What? All he does is fap in class!

Matchy: I don’t fap in class.

Purple: Alright folks, can we just be civilized for once?

Crazy: Okay guys, so long as we stay here and rebuild we should be absolutely fine. And as long as those two psycho children FD the Vandal and Foxy the Grandpa never find us, we should be safe.

Lock: Wait Foxy is a child grandpa? WHAT

Crazy: You know what I meant.

(FoxyGrandpa can be seen riding on a motorcycle in the distance with a machine gun in hand)

FoxyGrandpa: Now why did you call me a fascist vandalist?

Crazy: I didn’t say you were fascist.

FoxyGrandpa: Well you said I was a vandalist

Purps: Maybe because you are.

FoxyGrandpa: PURPLE YOU BETRAYED ME YOU STUPID FOOL!

Purps: Ummmm, HEY LOOK A FLYING PIECE OF PIZZA!

FD & Foxy: Where???!

(Crazy hits FD in the back with a pickaxe)

FDBackup: Oh shit, that hurt.

FoxyGrandpa: Now now, I don’t want no trouble, so I’m just gonna leave.

(Elsewhere, Image is building a tiny shack)

Image: What a lovely shack I’ve built.

(Travis shows up)

Travis: Give me your glistening girl juices.

(Cici shows up)

Cici: No you take me instead.

Travis: Okay mate.

(All of a sudden, a massive explosion takes out the house next to Image’s)

Image: What was that?

Travis: Probably Dylan jacking off too hard.

Cici: Hahahaha, Dildo Dylan.

Travis: Wait what’s that?

(A man wearing a metal mask and black robes walks out with a scythe)

Cici: Probably an American cosplayer.

Image: Yeah, because most of them carry weapons.

Cici: Really? I only thought Americ-

Image: I was being sarcastic, we should probably run for our lives.

Travis: (sprinting away) I’m already goneeee.

(Cici and Image start running, and the masked man slowly follows)

Cici: He’s following us.

Image: I’m aware of that Cici.

(The masked man appears and swings his scythe at a wall)

Cici: What a failure, he was only able to hit a wall.

(The wall collapses onto Cici and Image, and then the masked man starts pushing away rubble)

Image: Hey would you leave us alone for exactly 27 pesos?

(The masked man grabs Image by the arm and teleports away)

Cici: Damn I had too many mushrooms yesterday. Wait…

(Cici runs into Newfanonland’s main castle)

Cici: GUYS IMAGE WAS JUST ABDUCTED.

Travis: YEAH! IT SUCKS!

Crazy: Give me a good reason to believe you dolts.

Travis: Come on, you can trust me!

Purps: This is coming from the same guy who jacks off to Alvin and the Chipmunks.

Travis: Shut up you sexual degenerate!

Crazy: Ok, so no good reason.

Lock: Wait, there’s a fire back there! Cici you absolute fool!

Cici: I didn’t do shit!

Purps: Wait wasn’t Image with you?

Crazy: Yeah guys, wasn’t Image with you?

Travis: We said she was abducted.

Purps: But that was before we believed you.

Travis: AHA! You believe us!

Purps: Maybe I do. So who’s the bastard that took her?

Cici: No clue. Some weird guy with a metal mask and scythe.

Crazy: Sounds suspicious. Did he happen to look like the guy standing behind Travis?

Travis: Wait wh-

(The mysterious man hits Travis in the back of the head with the blunt end of the scythe, knocking him out cold)

Cici: SHIT!

Purps: This guy doesn’t look that tough.

(The “guy” swings his scythe around with incredible speed, creating a blast of energy that knocks back Purps, Crazy, and Cici)

Crazy: You just HAD TO SAY SOMETHING PURPS. Your IQ must not be very high. Hey, that sounds like a good song idea.

Cici: Travis could steal it.

Crazy: Let me have this moment, please.

Purps: Guys, we still have a psychopath in the main castle of Newfanonland.

Cici: You?

Purps: I give up.

Cici: Nah, just kidding, that guy looks insane.

Crazy: Guys, let’s just go capture him and throw him in jail and then find Image.

(Crazy runs up to the masked man and gets shot back by an energy beam)

Crazy: Capture may not be that easy guys. Hey, is that a star?

(Crazy passes out)

Purps: So um, got any ideas?

Cici: Nope.

Purps: SIR MAN OF THE METAL MASK! PLEASE STOP WHAT YOU ARE DOING, NOW!

Ingot: Name’s Ingot. And no, I won’t stop.

(Ingot sends another energy blast and jumps away)

Purps: He got away!

Cici: Yeah, he might be a bigger issue than we originally let on.

Crazy: (weakly) he has a stupid name.

Purps: Here let us help you guys up.

(Purps and Cici help Crazy and Travis up)

Travis: He took Image and her glistening girl juices. He will PAY.

Purps: Yeah, that’s why we’re concerned.

(Elsewhere, Image wakes up in a glass cage)

Image: Huh? Where am I?

(Ingot arrived)

Ingot: Welcome to your home for the next few months. Get used to this it.

Image: Why’d you take me?

Ingot: Easiest target.

Image: Hey! Who even are you?

Ingot: A man who was wronged by Fanonland.