User blog:JellyfishJam38/4Kids Presents... SpongeBob: Infection!


 * (Cold opening. As the camera zooms at hurtling speed across the bustling streets of Bikini Bottom, the off-screen voice of SpongeBob speaks)
 * SpongeBob: Bikini Bottom... where the algae's always greener. Or so it was, before the Infection struck, leaving the algae brown, forever lined with foes. These days, it's all about the fittest. Remain prepared at all costs, the less seriously you take life, the more will come your path. (The camera jarringly pans to the ground, showing a green insect pacing towards a female fish sitting on a park bench, scanning through her purse) This started it all, shaped what would come to be. (We see the insect again. SpongeBob continues his monologue.) Bikini Bottom back then, (the scene fast-forwards to show a deserted street) Bikini Bottom now. Sad how such a developed civilization went bad so quickly. You know, I'm feeling nostalgic today. How about I tell my story like it is, from the very start? This is my life.
 * (Fade to black, and theme song plays)
 * (Cut to a wide shot of the outside of a nightclub. A caption at the bottom of the screen states:  BIKINI BOTTOM. Close-up on the door as Mr. Krabs walks up to it. He opens it, revealing a brightly lit, flashy disco with dance music playing, and fish walking around. Walking in, he fumbles through his pocket and reaches for a dollar bill.)
 * Mr. Krabs: Oh. (The scene freezes. A card saying "Scene Missing" appears.)
 * (Mr. Krabs walks over to a chair, his lower half entirely blurred to obscure an unknown object.)
 *  Mr. Krabs  : Money - the cause of some problems.
 * (Patrick walks by and sits on the spot next to Krabs.)
 *  Patrick  : Hey, Krabby my boy, what's going on?
 *  Mr. Krabs  : Nothing.
 *  Patrick  : Business as usual. (pauses) Not exactly for me, but for you.
 *  Mr. Krabs  : Don't you see, Pat? I've tried to get out of this for too long now. I feel as if I'm only a (a word that sounds naughty is bleeped out) in life.
 *  Patrick  : You know what they say? If your conscience hadn't been currency, I'd say you'd be living a lifestyle.
 *  Mr. Krabs  : Your lectures honestly aren't helping.
 *  Patrick  : It was kinda you who brought up the subject, it's not completely my fault.
 *  Mr. Krabs  : I guess you're right. I'll see ya round. (he vanishes)
 *  Patrick  :   (talking to himself in a contemplative state) I can't be the only one in this place. Should I just sit here? Okay, I'll... no. Should I... Ah. Don't wanna seem uncool. Wait... (cups his hands on head. Suddenly, the televisions in the room switch on, and a sign stating "BREAKING NEWS" is present on each one. The scene zooms in on the TV, where an announcer sits.)
 *  News Announcer  : Today, on Bikini Bottom News, Bikini Bottom News has struck our streets. A female fish who will remain unnamed for this report, has been found in her home. (an image of a fish with a pixelated face appears) It's only been two hours, but already, DISPROVED mass hysteria akin to the previous, DISPROVED Snail (the image changes to a screen saying Bikini Bottom) is annoying families, closing stores,... but this time it's a hoax. An anchovy, who will be named "Subject F" for privacy purposes, and has had recent contact with the fish, has already displayed fake signs of a soon-to-be contagion. Lock your doors, wear suits,... just do anything. (Another "Scene Missing" card appears.)
 * The epic saga of abundant censorship shall continue soon!