Cult of War pt. 2: Feathered Fiends

Cult of War Pt2: Feathered Fiends is the 2nd part of the Cult of Squid 3-parter s3 finale. It aired December 6th, 2019.

Transcript
(Episode opens with Noseward and SpongeBob surrounded by rubble both gripping onto their swords)

Noseward: You’re finished, Sponge.

SpongeBob: No I’m not!

(SpongeBob runs at Noseward and swings his sword, but Noseward defects his hit with his own sword)

Noseward: You see, I have a secret weapon.

SpongeBob: And what’s that?

Noseward: A double agent.

SpongeBob: No. no. NO! Who?!

Noseward: I’ll let him make his presence known.

(Plankton walks over to Noseward)

Plankton: I really am sorry, SpongeBob.

SpongeBob: You traitor! How could you?

Plankton: Self-preservation really. After we made our plan I knew it was hopeless for us. I wanted to help, I really did! But I knew we would all end up dying. So, I told Noseward here about our plan so I could stay alive.

Noseward: Oh what SpongeBob, are you gonna cry? Get over it already and just know that reality sucks.

SpongeBob: Yeah, reality does suck. For you!

(SpongeBob stabs Noseward)

Noseward: AHH! I DIDN’T THINK YOU WOULD ACTUALLY STAB ME! How long do I have to live?

SpongeBob: I stabbed you in a place that won’t kill you. You’ll just be in a lot, a lot of pain.

Noseward: *dolphin noises*

(SpongeBob walks away as Sandy and her bikers ride around taking out cult members)

Security: Oh no, they’ve breached all our defenses!

Noseward: I have one more trick up my sleeve. Doctor Crayons!

Doctor Crayons: (walks out of the pyramid) Alrighty, I have a cult warhead here.

Patrick: A what?

Doctor Crayons: I detonate this and it will kill everybody in the area. Well, disintegrate them is more accurate. And by them I mean you.

Mermaid Man: Doctor Crayons? Is that you?

Doctor Crayons: Mermaid Man?

SpongeBob & Noseward: Wait what?

Doctor Crayons: I was once a superhero/doctor who worked with Mermaid Man for a while.

Noseward: AND YOU WAIT UNTIL OUR FINAL SHOWDOWN AGAINST THEM TO REVEAL THIS?

Doctor Crayons: Yes.

Barnacle Boy: Hooray!

Doctor Crayons: You know I think I might detonate this bomb inside the pyramid! You’ve always treated me like a useless underling so I think I’m going to bring you down and take control of the cult!

Noseward/ Hey now let’s not get any crazy ideas lackey.

Doctor Crayons: I have one.

Noseward: HEY NO DON’T!

Doctor Crayons: Well boys nice knowing you, but I’m doing this for the greater *dolphin noises* good.

Security: (turns around after hitting one of the bikes off their bikes) DOCTOR CRAYONS NOOOOOOOOO!!!!

Initiator: (spontaneously appears) GODDAMMIT DOCTOR CRAYONS!

Doctor Crayons: So I think an epic speech is justified.

Noseward: Doctor Crayons what are you going on about you fool.

Doctor Crayons: ALRIGHT SPEECH TIME! NOSEWARD! I worked for Squidward and— yeah this is going nowhere.

(Doctor Crayons runs into the cult pyramid and emerges at the top)

Doctor Crayons: Goodbye everyone, I’ll see you all in the after life.

Mermaid Man: NOOOOOOO!

Doctor Crayons: Goodbye cult!

(The Feathered Friends hop into a force field Sandy sets up quickly as Doctor Crayons pushes the button to active his weapon)

Sandy: Wow, that’s the ultimate sacrifice.

Noseward: I AM IMMUNE TO RADIATION AS I AM JUST A GIANT NOSE.

(An explosion goes off inside of the cult pyramid bringing it to the ground and evaporating all the cult members except for Noseward, Security, and the Initiator)

Security: Holy shit, I think we just lost.

Noseward: No, the battle’s only just begun. Now for my third backup plan. We shall destroy those feathered feinds for what they have done to Doctor Crayons.

(Noseward takes out his phone and dials a number)

Noseward: Yo, I need a favor.

(To be continued)