Road Rager

Road Rager is the third episode of Ttyl.

Plot

 * While having a good ol' drunken night out, SpongeBob and Patrick see an unlocked car parked on the side of the road. SpongeBob, despite not having any drivers' license (and being unfit for driving in general), decides to steal it and drive it to Sandy's house, on the other side of town, by any means necessary. Patrick agrees, and together they embark on an adventure of epic proportions. (By which I mean they crash into every building in town.)

Transcript

 * Episode opens to SpongeBob and Patrick walking down the street. It is dark outside, and they both are notably fidgety and having trouble maintaining balance.
 * Patrick: Man, it's been a while since I've had some good hard liquor like that. My parents, man...
 * SpongeBob: Oh yeah, that whole thing. How's that going? Did they forgive and forget?
 * Patrick: Hell no. They've really been cracking down on me, making sure I don't miss a day of school, don't have any liquor, shit like that.
 * SpongeBob: Sounds rough.
 * Patrick: Yeah, I know. And my little cousins came over, and they wanted to play Gold Theft Travel V...
 * SpongeBob: The game where you can have sex with a hooker and then kill her to get your money back?
 * Patrick: Yeah, that one. Good game, but rated M for a reason. I told them they couldn't play, and my mom insisted that they could because it was just a game.
 * SpongeBob: I can see this not ending well.
 * Patrick: It didn't. They went into one of the strip clubs, and my mom got pissed at me for even owning such a game. She made me throw it away.
 * SpongeBob: Holy crap.
 * Patrick: I know, but I dug it out of the trash later. And I had to lie to even hang with you tonight, said we were studying or something. (pulls out a cigarette and lights it)
 * SpongeBob: (pauses) Hey...wasn't I mad at you for something the other day?
 * Patrick: (thinks for a second, taking a drag) Nah.
 * SpongeBob and Patrick continue walking, until they see something that catches their eye: a shiny red car parked alone by the side of the road.
 * SpongeBob: Whoa.
 * SpongeBob and Patrick get closer to the car. Patrick grabs the handle on the front car door, and to his surprise, it opens.
 * Patrick: Someone must be really stupid.
 * SpongeBob: Or really trusting.
 * Patrick: You thinkin' what I'm thinkin'?
 * SpongeBob: Let's do this.
 * Patrick takes the cover off the steering wheel, connects some wires inside, and revs the engine. The car starts. SpongeBob enters the passenger seat.
 * SpongeBob: Wait...where should we go?
 * Patrick: I have an idea. How about Sandy's house?
 * SpongeBob: Sandy's house? Why?
 * Patrick: (chuckles) To pop your cherry.
 * SpongeBob: What?! But I don't have a condom!
 * Patrick opens his wallet to reveal a large supply of condoms.
 * Patrick: You always gotta be safe. Let's do this!
 * In progress.