Ice Skating Scuffle

Ice Skating Scuffle is the pilot episode of the spin-off, Single-Celled Usurpations, and the first episode of season one. In this episode, Plankton attempts to steal the formula by challenging the gang to an ice-skating tournament. However, once seeing how dominant Plankton's team is, can the gang overcome the forces of evil? And can Mr. Krabs keep the formula safe from Plankton's hands?

Characters

 * SpongeBob SquarePants
 * Squidward Tentacles
 * Mr. Krabs
 * Patrick Star
 * Sandy Cheeks
 * Plankton
 * Plankton's unnamed henchmen
 * Referred to as "heavily-suited fish" or simply "[Plankton's] henchmen"
 * Female Fish (brief cameo)

Transcript

 * (episode begins with a medium shot of an ice rink, where fish are skating freely around the frozen track; the camera pans around, showing fish either socializing on the barricades, fish skating independently or with others, and some playing arcade games; the camera finally stops panning when it reaches the gang: Mr. Krabs, SpongeBob, Sandy, and Squidward)


 * SpongeBob: Isn't this fun?


 * Squidward: I have to say, this is actually pretty fun.


 * Mr. Krabs: I'm especially loving the chills. Reminds me of my navy days.


 * Patrick: (skates over quickly) Do any of you have a quarter? I ran out.


 * Sandy: But Patrick, the arcade doesn't accept quarters.


 * Patrick: Oh. Well, do any of you guys have a coat hanger I could use?


 * Plankton: (offscreen) Too late!


 * (the lights in the ice rink suddely turn off, and re-illuminate with a red hue; all of the fish look around shocked and afraid at the sights, and a giant tron is lowered from the roof]


 * SpongeBob: Look! A screen!


 * (the screen's picture becomes static, as picture appears; the picture finally becomes of definition that the face of Plankton can be seen)


 * Mr. Krabs: (gasps) It's Plankton!


 * Plankton: That's right, Krabs! It's me! Which means that this makes all of you my workforce! (laughs maniacally)


 * SpongeBob: What do you want?


 * Plankton: It's not what I want, Sponge-Brain. It's what all of you are going to do that is going to determine your future.


 * (robotic arms sprout from the walls and grab all of the fish, except for the gang; two goals sprout from opposite sides of the track)


 * Plankton: Now... (laughs quietly) you five are going to play a little game.


 * Mr. Krabs: What kind of game?


 * Plankton: Glad you asked. Gents!


 * (five heavily-suited fish skate up behind the gang)


 * Plankton: It's time for an ice-skating tournament! (screen is retracted back to the roof)


 * (the lights in the arena simultaneously become their usual white color; Plankton is lowered from the roof from a platform)


 * Plankton: Gents, gather 'round! (the fish heavily-suited fish gather around Plankton) Now, gang, it's time for a little tournament. And to make this interesting, let's make a little wager.


 * Mr. Krabs: (walks up to Plankton) What kind of wager?


 * Plankton: The usual.


 * Mr. Krabs: Agreed.


 * SpongeBob: (skates up to Mr. Krabs along with the rest of the gang) What's the usual?


 * Mr. Krabs: We all form a team. If we win, then Plankton has to change the name of the Chum Bucket to whatever we want.


 * Plankton: Fair deal, Krab-sy, but tell them what happens if Team Chum Bucket wins.


 * Mr. Krabs: (sighs) And if those freeloaders win...


 * Plankton: Hey!


 * Mr. Krabs: ...then I'm afraid that we're going to have to relinquish the formula...to Plankton.


 * (gang gasps and chatters unintelligibly)


 * Plankton: Ooh, I like the usual wager. Let's get to it! First to get to six points wins.


 * (camera reveals the gang in front of their goal, with Plankton and his squad in front of their goal; a whistle sounds, and the two charge toward each other)


 * Mr. Krabs: Excelsior!


 * Plankton: Whatever is greater than excelsior!


 * (SpongeBob attempts to hit the puck with his stick, but one of the heavily-suited fish grabs his stick, breaks it with his leg, and launches the puck into the gang's goal)


 * (Squidward launches the puck toward Team Chum Bucket's goal, yet one of the heavily-suited fish launches the puck extremely quickly the other direction; the blaze leaves a fire in Squidward's wake)


 * Squidward: How is that possible?


 * (Sandy and one of the heavily-suited fish approach each other around a puck)


 * Sandy: Watch out, man. I know five forms of karate and years of experience using them.


 * (the heavily-suited fish grabs Sandy, moves her out of the way, and shoots the puck into the gang's goal)


 * Scoreboard: Team Chum Bucket scores. Game three-to-zip, zero, nada, zilch, not-a-lick...


 * Mr. Krabs: Okay, we get it! Team, huddle up. (Squidward, SpongeBob, Sandy, and Patrick gather around Mr. Krabs)


 * Squidward: We're being creamed out there!


 * Patrick: What do we do?


 * Mr. Krabs: Calm down, you land-lubbers. I know exactly what's going on.


 * Sandy: You do?


 * Mr. Krabs: I fought Plankton's team back in the '50's back when I was a part of the Bottomites Unification Traction Team.


 * Patrick: [giggles] That stands for bu...


 * Squidward: Don't say it.


 * Patrick: But...


 * Squidward: Patrick!


 * Mr. Krabs: Anyways, "traction" was the name for ice skating hockey back in the mid 20th century, and my team was the best in the land. Er, town. Until, Plankton wanted to mow me down and steal me formula. Thus, the "usual" wager was born.


 * (flashback ensues; Mr. Krabs narrates while a sepia-colored screen acts out the narration)


 * Mr. Krabs: Plankton and I shook hands and our game was on. It was finals of the tournament, and we made the bet that if I won, Plankton would change the Chum Bucket's name to "Chump Bucket" for a whole month. Yet, if Plankton won, then I would have to hand-deliver the formula me-self to him.


 * (Plankton is seen skating, along with his heavily-suited squad behind him; Plankton's team is seen mowing through Mr. Krabs's teammates; Mr. Krabs is seen about to hit the puck, but one of Plankton's henchmen approach)


 * Mr. Krabs: I came across one of Plankton's henchmen, and that's when I saw it. His arm fell out slightly, and I saw a metal rod come out. He pulled it back in, but that gave me enough time to snatch the puck and make the winning shot.


 * (Mr. Krabs is seen launching the puck into Team Chum Bucket's goal)


 * Mr. Krabs: Later that night, I saw Plankton, destroying his henchmen in a fit of rage, yet it turns out that those were no mere fish. Why, those were...


 * Patrick: Ro-butts!


 * Sandy: Patrick!


 * Mr. Krabs: Robots, they were indeed. And if I learned anything about robots, they always...


 * Sandy: ...short-circuit with water! That's it! We can win this game!


 * Gang: Team Krusty Krab!


 * Plankton: (offscreen) Hello! (camera reveals Plankton, with his arms crossed) Can we get back to the game now?


 * Mr. Krabs: Yes. (grins) We shall.


 * (scene cuts to SpongeBob, skating alongside one of Plankton's henchmen; SpongeBob skates in front of the henchman and stops suddenly, causing a mass of ice to sprawl onto the henchman; the henchman begins short-circuiting and eventually falls down)


 * SpongeBob: Yeah!


 * Plankton: No!


 * (the scene cuts to the robots, stacking up into a pile, short-circuiting; Plankton begins backing away from the pile slowly)


 * Plankton: I should probably get out of here. (trips over Mr. Krabs's foot) Huh?


 * Mr. Krabs: Face it, Plankton. You can't interfere with the power of the Krusty Krab, or the sweet revenge of winning the "usual".


 * (the gang gather around Plankton)


 * Plankton: What are you going to do with me?


 * (scene cuts to Plankton, sliding and yelling in fear toward Team Chum Bucket's goal)


 * Plankton: (lands in goal) Well, at last that is over.


 * (five other pucks are seen, dashing toward Plankton)


 * Plankton: Oh, clam chowder. (one puck approaches and covers the scene to black)


 * (scene cuts to the Chum Bucket, with a "P" spray-painted next to the "CHUM"; a large crowd of fish are seen looking at the name and laughing at it; camera cuts to the gang, looking and laughing)


 * SpongeBob: Looks like all's well that ends with the "usual".


 * Mr. Krabs: Agreed.


 * Plankton: (rolls up in wheel-chair) You can laugh now, Krabs, but I'll have my day in the sun, you'll see! You can't trample over me forever!


 * Female Fish: Hey, everyone. Let's all go to the Krusty Krab!


 * (the crowd runs toward the Krusty Krab; Plankton looks at the crowd, as they run head-on)


 * Plankton: (looks at camera) This might hurt.


 * (the camera cuts to black, and the sound of a crush is heard; episode ends)