Orchestragraphicality (transcript)

(Squidward gets into chairs, turns on TV and screams)

Squidward: Oh my, got to get a hold of myself, I--ahhhh!!!

Seuss the Qatar's Lord on TV: And that was The Atomic Rock Shadow in Low E Minor, Rock it!

(TV screen shatters)

Squidward: Oh great, I can do better than that!

Squilliam: A one, a two, a one, two, three!

(Squilliam's band plays The Blue Danube with Squidward walking past him)

Squidward: Who put him on this planet? Psssst.

Squilliam: (to Squidward) I heard that!

DJ Coricoral on the radio: And here is the hit album My Sunken and Shrunken Socks--

(Squidward turns radio off)

Squidward: Does any know how to play music anymore? All it is is show-off, and rock! Except for the Squidstones, little Trebels and Clam-Clam were singing, so cute. But I'm going to be the best man in the world!

SpongeBob: Squidward, you...uh, according to this best list, you're #10067535678905432, only being followed by one person, Patrick, and if he wasn't here, you would be last. But don't fret, I'm only 12000 places in front of you.

Squidward: My dork of a neighbor beat me?

SpongeBob: Yes. Mr. Krabs is first and besides me is Freckled Boy from Rock Bottom and Gary.

Squidward: I'm a loser.

SpongeBob: You're not.

Squidward: I am.

SpongeBob: True. But you can change that somehow.

Squidward: Wait! I've got a...what's the word for it?...

SpongeBob: Fantabulastical?

Squidward: Right! I've got a fantabulabulastical-sorta idea! Oh yeah!

Squidward: Now band, stop the chitter-chatter cooked-on-platter thing and listen to me. Patrick, I want you to play the keyboard.

Patrick: Yes sir!

Squidward: SpongeBob, trombone!

SpongeBob: Yes, Leg-no-toe! Ha! Making fun of legato.

Squidward: Okay....Everyone else, you're places! And together, we're Orchestragraphicality!

(Confetti comes flying out of nowhere)

SpongeBob: What does that mean?

Patrick: A piece of cheese?

Beltruce: A clambonie?

Fish #1: The study of orchestras?

Squidward: No. It's the name of our band. It's not like your name means anything. Like SpongeBob's, his name means n--

SpongeBob: I'm a sponge, my nickname's Bob, I love squares, I wear pants, that's how I got my name.

Squidward: Alright, forget about the name! Just get on with the playing.

-

Beltruce: A one, two, one, two, three, four....

(Band plays Suction Cup Symphony roughly when Patrick plays checkers)

Squidward: Patrick!

Patrick: I'm playing! It's just that I'm losing