Let the Games Begin: Part 1 Transcript

Let the Games Begin: Part 1  
Setting: SpongeBob's Living Room

SpongeBob: (Pulls nose hair) 247. (Pulls another nose hair) 248.

Camera Man: (Clears throat)

SpongeBob: Wait? Are we rolling?

Camera Man: (Shakes head yes)

SpongeBob: Awkward...

Setting: SpongeBob's Backyard

SpongeBob: Hi, I'm SpongeBob SquarePants, and this is my all new reality series, SpongeBob SquarePants: The Reality Show!

Squidward: Wow. I bet it took hours to come up with that name. (Sarcasticly)

SpongeBob: Really? It only took a couple of minutes.

Squidward: Were you dropped on your head when you were a guppie?

SpongeBob: How did you know?

Squidward: Lucky guess.

SpongeBob: Where was I? Oh, right. (Clears throat) Hi, I'm SpongeBob SquarePants, and this is my all new reality series-

Squidward: Haven't we already gone over this?

SpongeBob: Shh! Squidward, you made me lose my place! (Clears throat... again) Hi, I'm SpongeBob SquarePants, and this is my all new reality series, SpongeBob SquarePants: The Reality Show! Let's meet the contestants! (Walks over to Mr. Krabs) So Eugene, what inspired you to join us in this once in a lifetime opportunity today?

Mr. Krabs: Money!

SpongeBob: I... see. (Walks over to Patrick) So Patrick, what brought you here today?

Patrick: Where am I?

SpongeBob: (Laughs suspiciously) You always were quite the joker, Patrick. (Walks over to Squilliam) So Squilliam, what do you plan on doing in order to win todays competition?

Squilliam: You better make this quick SquarePants! I've got places to be!

SpongeBob: (Laughs vigorously) Oh, you won't be going anywhere for a long time! (Laughs even harder)

(Everyone looks confused)

Man Ray: You can't just keep us captive here... it's... it's... evil! I love it!

Mermaid Man: Evil!

SpongeBob: Oh, yes I can.

Barnacle Boy: And just how do you plan on doing that?

SpongeBob: It's in your contract.

Plankton: Contract? What contract?

SpongeBob: This one. (Pulls contract out of his pocket)

Plankton: Oh, that contract.

Pearl: He told me it was a raffle ticket for a free trip to the beuty salon!

Mr. Krabs: That's my girl!

Karen: He told me it was for a software update!

Flying Dutchman: Step aside, and leave it to the master. (Disintegrates contract)

(Everyone cheers)

SpongeBob: Not so fast! A true genius always brings a back up contract! (Pulls back up contract out of his pocket)

Flying Dutchman: (Disintegrates back up contract)

SpongeBob: And a back up back up contract! (Pulls back up back up contract out of his pocket)

Flying Dutchman: (Disintegrates back up back up contract)

SpongeBob: And a back up back up back up contract! (Pulls back up back up back up contract out of his pocket)

Mrs. Puff: Enough!

Sandy: Yall' be ashamed of yourselves! Everyone stay calm and let the sponge finish talking.

SpongeBob: Thank you Sandy. Now that I have your attention let me explain how the show is going to work. I have divided all of you into two teams of seven: The Krabby Patties and The Jellyfish. Every week a contest will be held between the two teams. The losing team must eliminate one participant, but you don't decide who that contestant is, the veiwers at home do. The final participant left will win a grand prize of... one million dollars!

Larry the Lobster: Imagine what you could buy with that kind of money! I'm in!

SpongeBob: Before we announce the teams let me introduce you to my co-host, Gary.

Gary: Meow.

SpongeBob: And my test dummy, Fred.

Fred: May I ask you a question?

SpongeBob: No, we will not be paying for your medical bills.

Fred: Tartar sauce!

Scooter: What about me? I'd be a great test dummy! I died like seven seasons ago, and I'm in perfect condition!

SpongeBob: Oh yeah, and that guy over there. What's your name again?

Scooter: Scooter.

To be continued...