Canada Wet

Canada Wet is the thirteenth episode of PLWTR's second season, and the thirty-nineth episode overall. It aired on June 29, 2017.

Main Characters

 * Plankton
 * Edward
 * Karen

Plot
Plankton goes to Canada to start a chum business with his Canadian cousin Edward.

Transcript
(An ambulance rushes to the Krusty Krab. Plankton had been injured during a bomb explosion to get the Krabby Patty Secret Forumla. It takes Plankton in on a strecher.)

Plankton: (whimpers in pain) Owwww...what's gonna happen to me?

EMT Worker: You need a live-saving surgery.

Plankton: What? I...can...but—

EMT Worker: Please stay calm. I'm going to inject you with a drug that makes you go to sleep.

Plankton: Wait—(Plankton is injected with the drug, losing consciousness almost immediately after.)

THREE WEEKS LATER

(Plankton is well, and he is about to sign his discharge papers.)

Surgeon: (pointing towards a blank line at the bottom of the paper) Okay, sign here.

Plankton: (signing the paper) Okay, done. Now, I am off to get the formula!

(As Plankton gets out of his bed, the surgeon stopped him.)

Surgeon: Hey! Come back here and pay!

Plankton: (groans) Ugh...fine. (gets the bill from the surgeon) Let's see...the price is—(Plankton shrieks and then faints.)

ONE HOUR LATER

(Plankton wakes up.)

Surgeon: That's another $3000.

Plankton: (screaming) I HAVE TO PAY $50,000 FOR A SURGERY, AND ANOTHER $3000 JUST FOR FAINTING! YOU PEOPLE ARE INSANE! IT TAKES $50,000 FOR YOU TO SAVE A LIFE! YOU CALL YOURSELF DOCTORS, YOU AIN'T SAVING NOBODY UNTIL YOU GET PAID TENS OF GRANDS! THIS IS THE MOST INHUMANE, ASINE THING I'VE EVER SEEN! I WONT GIVE A CENT, NOT ONE INDEED!

THIRTY MINUTES LATER

(Plankton and Karen are seen homeless on a bus stop bench.)

Plankton: (sobbing harshly) I hate Bikini Bottom! Being socially neglected is one thing, but being denied your right to health because you're lower class is just outright stupid. I'm outta this place Karen, I'm out. If only a land existed where basic rights are upheld and you can mooch off welfare? Right, Karen?

Karen: You mean Canada?

Plankton: Cada-what?

Karen: Canada!

Plankton: Danaca?

Karen: (groaning) CANADA! It's a country with free healthcare and automatic welfare.

Plankton: (weeping stops) Automatic welfare, you say?

(A bus approaches them. The label on the top indicates that it's going to Canada.)

Plankton: (gleefully) OH YES, KAREN! WE'RE GOING TO DANACA—I MEAN CANADA! (Plankton and Karen take a seat on the bus) Woohoo! Neptune bless Canada! Neptune bless Canada! (Plankton keeps saying "Neptune bless Canada!" as the bus travels on the long, empty road.)

THE FOLLOWING MORNING

(Plankton is seen sleep talking, saying "Neptune bless Canada!". The bus comes to a sudden stop, waking Plankton up.)

Bus Driver: Final Destination. Maple Bottom, Canada.

Plankton: Oh yes! (turns Karen's system on) Come on Karen.

(Plankton and Karen get off the bus, where they see a panorama of Canada. They see two fish drunk on maple syrup, three big kids saying "sorry" to a little kid, and a homeless boy in rags escorted out of the local hospital by doctors.)

Plankton: (happily) I can't wait to get started.

(Plankton heads off to explore the town, but is stopped by the unenthusiastic Karen.)

Karen: Woah there, Plankton. We are in another country. We have to register to the Immigration Office, secure our residency ticket and the Embassy, find a house—

Plankton: Fine, you do that. I got a town to explore, and I won't let your immigration talk ruin it. And I'll get that house.

Karen: Whatever you say, Plankton. (Karen heads off to the embassy.)

Plankton: Ahhhh, at long last. Paradise. (approaching the fish who were drunk on maple syrup) Greetings!

Drunken Fish #1: (loopily) Why hello there, eh? What's your name, eh? You from here, eh?

Plankton: Nah. I'm just trying for a place to stay. My name is Sheldon J. Plankton.

Drunken Fish #1: (suddenly startled) Sheldon, eh?! My friend Edward always be talking about you!

Plankton: Edward? He's my cousin!

Drunken Fish #1: Oh, I'll give you a lift! (turns to Drunken Fish #2) Catch you on the flipside, eh!

Drunken Fish #2: Fine, eh.

(Drunken Fish #1 enters and starts his car. Plankton enters, and they go to Edward's house.)

Plankton: Hey, I have a question.

Drunken Fish #1: What, eh?

Plankton: Why do Canadians always say "eh"?

Drunken Fish #1: LOL, I don't know, eh.

Plankton: Eh. (Plankton looks outside the car window, seeing kids playing outside their square houses.)

(The car pulls up to Edward's house, which looks similar to Plankton's Chum Bucket. Edward steps out of the house, and Plankton gets out of the car.)

Edward: Sheldon!

Plankton: Edward!

(The two hug.)

Plankton: Well, it's been so long. When's the last time I've seen you?

Edward: Oh, I went to Bikini Bottom to help you stop Krabs! What happened to him, anyways?

Plankton: I left him. To start a new life here!

Edward: I see. C'mon in, I need you for something.'

(The drunken fish, Edward, and Plankton walk in to Edward's house.)

Edward: Well, Sheldon, I want to build a restraunt. The Maple Corporation.

Plankton: Woah, that's great. I'll lay out the foundations.

Drunken Fish #1: I'll go back to drinking syrup.

(Plankton and Edward spend hours working on blueprints. Then, a taxi pulls up to Edward's house. Karen comes out of the cab, and enters.)

Karen: (happily) Oh, Shelly! We're permanent residents!

Edward: Oh man, better wash my hands for the cake! (runs to the bathroom)

Plankton: Sweet! (turns towards the camera, breaking the fourth wall) You see, boys and girls, everyone is happy! Canada solves everyone's problems, and a happy Canada Day, from the PLWTR crew! Now, I'm going to go get some shut-eye. Hmm, I better pee first.

(Plankton approaches the bathroom, but as he turns the doorknob, the door swings out the other way, knocking him out. He forgot that Edward occupied it.)

Edward: Sorry, eh?

(Plankton's eyes close, and the camera fades. The camera opens after a few seconds of a black screen, showing Plankton waking up in a hospital bed. The whole Canada thing was a dream while Plankton was in the ambulance.)

Surgeon: Oh well, you had a mighty dream back there. You know what they say, anesthesia is powerful. Anyways we must begin your $50,000 surgery right away!

Plankton: Wait...what?

(As the surgeon turns on a machine, the camera cuts to a picture of outside the hospital, where Plankton is heard screaming)

Plankton: (screaming) Karen! Pack your bags!