User blog:Rarity7Best/Hilarious Movie Quotes

The Room
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 * Mark: How was work today?
 * Johnny: Oh, pretty good. We got a new client and the bank will make a lot of money.
 * Mark: What client?
 * Johnny: I cannot tell you; it's confidential.
 * Mark: Aw, come on. Why not?
 * Johnny: No, I can't. Anyway, how is your sex life?
 * Johnny: I kill you, you bastard!
 * Mark: You couldn't kill me if you tried.
 * Johnny: You betrayed me! You're not good. You, you're just a chicken. Chip-chip-chip-chip-cheep-cheep.
 * Lisa: I can't talk right now.
 * Johnny: Why, Lisa? Please talk to me, please! You are lying, I never hit you! You are tearing me apart, Lisa!
 * Lisa: Why are you so hysterical?
 * Johnny: Do you understand why? Do you?
 * Johnny: [walks into flower shop] Hi.
 * Flower Shop Clerk: Can I help you?
 * Johnny: Yeah, can I have a dozen red roses, please?
 * Flower Shop Clerk: Oh, hi, Johnny. I didn't know it was you.
 * [grabs bouquet of roses]
 * Flower Shop Clerk: Here you go.
 * Johnny: That's me. How much is it?
 * Flower Shop Clerk: It'll be $18.
 * Johnny: [hands over cash] Here you go. Keep the change.
 * [grabs flowers and pats dog on the counter]
 * Johnny: Hi, doggy.
 * Flower Shop Clerk: You're my favorite customer.
 * Johnny: Thanks a lot. Bye!
 * Flower Shop Clerk: Buh-bye!
 * [Johnny walks to the apartment rooftop]
 * Johnny: I did not hit her, it's not true! It's bullshit! I did not hit her!
 * [throws water bottle]
 * Johnny: I did not. Oh hi, Mark.
 * Mark: Oh, hey Johnny, what's up?
 * Johnny: I have a problem with Lisa. She says that I hit her.
 * Mark: What? Did you?
 * Johnny: [sits down] No, it's not true. Don't even ask. What's new with you?
 * Mark: I'm just sitting up here thinking, you know. I got a question for you.
 * Johnny: Yeah?
 * Mark: You think girls like to cheat like guys do?
 * Johnny: What makes you say that?
 * Mark: [gets up] I don't know. I don't know. I'm just... I'm just thinking.
 * Johnny: I don't have to worry about that because Lisa is loyal to me.
 * Mark: Yeah, man, you'll never know. People are very strange these days. I used to know a girl; she had a dozen guys. One of them found out about it... beat her up so bad she ended up at a hospital on Guerrero Street.
 * Johnny: Ha ha ha. What a story, Mark.
 * [gets up]
 * Mark: Yeah, you can say that again.
 * Johnny: I'm so happy I have you as my best friend, and I love Lisa so much.
 * Mark: Yeah, man. Yeah, you are very lucky.
 * Johnny: Well, maybe you should have a girl, Mark.
 * Mark: [pauses, then walks forward] Yeah. Yeah, maybe you're right. Maybe I have one already. I don't know yet.
 * Johnny: Well, what happened? Remember Betty? That's her name?
 * Mark: Betty? Yeah. Yeah, we don't see each other anymore. You know, she wasn't any good in bed. She was beautiful, but we had too many arguments.
 * Johnny: That's too bad. My Lisa's great whenever I get it.
 * Mark: [sits down] Oh man, I just can't figure women out. Sometimes they're just too smart. Sometimes they're just flat-out stupid. Other times they're just evil.
 * Johnny: It seems to me that you're the expert, Mark.
 * [sits down]
 * Mark: No. Definitely not an expert, Johnny.