One Part Oxygen, Explosive Parts Hydrogen

One Part Oxygen, Explosive Parts Helium is fourth episode of the spin-off, Sworn to Secrecy, and the fourth episode of season one. In this episode, a new villainous team arises in Bikini Bottom. This team is known as the "Bomb Band", which causes explosives all over town. The ERGBB attempt to stop them, yet can they get themselves out of an even larger problem?

Characters

 * SpongeBob SquarePants
 * Sandy Cheeks
 * Squidward Tentacles
 * Patrick Star
 * Bomb Band Members
 * Jessica SquarePants (debut)

Transcript

 * [episode begins with a medium shot of Bikini Bottom; the camera pans quickly to the park, where several fish are playing with pets, others are unwinding, and the majority are strolling around; the camera then pans quickly to a convienence store, where several fish are leaving the store with groceries and others are entering the store; camera finally pans quickly around a neighborhood of houses, which is fairly empty; camera finally pans to the ERGBB agency; the camera cuts to SpongeBob's office]
 * SpongeBob: [lifts mug; puts it down quickly] Whoo, Rita. Gosh. This coffee is hot! [typing on computer] Isn't there anyone in this building that can serve a decent cup of coffee around here?
 * Squidward: [walks into room] Maybe not someone...[presses button on coffee maker] but something.
 * SpongeBob: I always pictured you to always find the obvious.
 * Squidward: It explains why I'm a strategist. [takes out coffee] Perfect. [puts down cup quickly] Ooh! Maybe not! You might want to let those cups fan out a bit.
 * SpongeBob: It's either that or nothing, my friend.
 * Squidward: What do you mean?
 * SpongeBob: Well, it took a whole lot of begging and kissing on the feet, but I finally was able to convince Oscar to get a coffee maker in this room.
 * Squidward: Weird. He put coffee makers in all of our rooms. In fact, mine came custom when I first started working here.
 * SpongeBob: That is weird. [smirking] I think we might have to do some investigating, don't you think?
 * Squidward: [smiling] Maybe so.
 * Sandy: [steps into room while looking down at stack of papers] Well, not right now, boys. We have ourselves another case.
 * SpongeBob: [receives stack of papers] Case? More like an avalanche? [looks at papers] What is all of this about?
 * Sandy: You tell me. Oscar wouldn't summarize it for me when he handed me the papers. Probably even too much paperwork for him to even decode.
 * Squidward: If there's one thing I learned in elementary school, it's about non-fiction.
 * SpongeBob: Well, yeah. There's only one thing to learn about non-fiction. Take out one of the "n"'s, and you have yourself no fiction.
 * Sandy: Or on-fiction. Who knows if these crimes are even real?
 * Squidward: Well, we haven't had a false crime...
 * SpongeBob: ...Yet.
 * Squidward: The only thing I learned about non-fiction is that the meaning of the whole entire passage can be found all in the last sentence.
 * SpongeBob: Is that so? Not something they teach you in college. [takes out bottom sheet; skips to last sentence] Ah. Here we are. [reads sentence] "The criminals are still out there with explosives and are highly dangerous, so if you have any questions, call 911". [throws sheet of paper away] Yep, we have nothing.
 * Sandy: What do you mean? It obviously states that there are criminals using explosives to get their way...and they're still out there!
 * SpongeBob: [lifts glass, which is now warm] Hmm. Warm. [grabs doughnut and dips it into coffee] We have nothing. We are still not on the cover even after, say, nine years of working at this agency.
 * Sandy: The magazine doesn't allow agents on the cover that don't have any work ethic or refuse to do anything. [leans in to a smirking SpongeBob] Hint hint. [leaves the room]
 * SpongeBob: [turns around in computer chair] Then I should be on the cover in no-time.
 * [scene cuts to SpongeBob and Patrick, riding around town in a convertible boat]
 * SpongeBob: So I said to her "you wish". [SpongeBob and Patrick laugh in the car]
 * Patrick: [turns right] Classic comedy. [looks at gas level] Hey, I'm running pretty low on gas. Truth is I'm running even lower on funds.
 * SpongeBob: Really? And why's that?
 * Patrick: I left my wallet on my desk.
 * SpongeBob: [laughs] Okay. Fine, I'm buying today. We need to keep this gas up and our eyes peeled.
 * Patrick: Yeah. The suspect could anywhere in town. He could be that man right there.
 * SpongeBob: [chuckles; points inconspicuously to a woman] Or that woman right there.
 * Patrick: That was a man, SpongeBob.
 * SpongeBob: Eh. Everybody's shifty nowadays.
 * [car pulls up in a gas station]
 * SpongeBob: You go ahead and see what you can find. I got the gas.
 * Patrick: Can do. [gets out of car and heads to one story main building, holding SpongeBob's wallet]
 * SpongeBob: [holds up gas pump] Doo doo. Doo doo ta doo. [looks at television screen] Wow. The gas station has the news on?
 * Television Screen: The Bombing Band is at it again, folks. Just today, police removed an explosive from under, brace yourselves, a water tower. No one knows the motives of this Time Bomb Trio, except for blowing up stuff.
 * SpongeBob: A water tower? [looks over into distance, only to see the water tower nearer than expected] That's nerve-wracking.
 * Television Screen: Citizens are adviced to stay at least five miles away from the tower, for the police are not clear as to whether all explosives are removed from the area.
 * SpongeBob: Uh? [looks around, only to see very few fish] Way to be suttle.
 * Patrick: [walks out of building] They claimed that they're closed. [sighs] Maybe some other gas station will be open.
 * SpongeBob: Maybe. [opens car door and sits down] Hopefully five miles away.
 * [scene cuts to SpongeBob, in his pineapple; he sitting down, doing paperwork]
 * SpongeBob: It doesn't make any sense. [leans back in chair] Why wouldn't they use a Gauge 500c Bomb instead of a Gauge 550x Mine? The 500 gives more radius and range, therefore wiping out an entire neighborhood. The 550x would only destroy a half a block radius. [facepalms] What is their motive?
 * Jessica: [walks downstairs] I wouldn't give the bombers any ideas, daddy.
 * SpongeBob: [stands up] Oh, wouldn't I? I need them to commit another crime so I can study their work.
 * Jessica: How come I never hear any of these explosions, dad? Are you sure it is even them?
 * SpongeBob: If it's even...? Of course I am. I think they use a sort of explosive mutes, or something of that sort. Who knows?
 * Jessica: I'm sure my "inside sources" know. They know a lot about these sort of things.
 * SpongeBob: Who is it? The Bomb Band? [pats Jessica's back] Nice try, honey. I know you want to help, but leave it to the professionals.
 * Jessica: [sarcastically] Where? I don't see them.
 * SpongeBob: Uh huh. Yeah. [smiling] Come here. [gently shoves Jessica]
 * Jessica: [shoves back gently] He he. Okay. Okay. I'll get out of your hair.
 * SpongeBob: [longly] Thank you. [turns around and walks back to chair; turns around quickly] Hey! I have no hair!
 * Jessica: [laughing] Don't look at me! [runs upstairs]
 * [scene cuts to the ERGBB screening room; the ERGBB are watching the latest reports on the news]
 * Screen: The Bomb Band is at it again. Last night, they reportedly broke into the city bank and stealing everything in the safe except for, brace yourselves, one dollar! Police do not know what their motives are yet, but...
 * SpongeBob: [turns off television] I'm tired of hearing the police don't know this! The police don't know that! The police need to get out of this whole situation. Leave it to the real professionals.
 * Sandy: If we are the real professionals, we would be out there, investigating, collecting evidence, and solving the case.
 * Patrick: Sandy's right. When are we going to get to the real action?
 * Squidward: You guys want action. [leans back in chair] I want rest.
 * SpongeBob: [hits Squidward on head with rolled up paper] You can rest when we solve the case. Right now, Sandy's right. We do need to be investigating this case.
 * [a team of unknown fish drop into the agency using ropes]
 * Ninja 1: We don't think so.
 * Squidward: [rest of team stands up] Well, we do! [leaps toward one ninja; kicks ninja to the ground] Take that! [lifted by one ninja; Squidward flips backward to his feet; grabs ninja and swings him into another] Where are these guys coming from?
 * SpongeBob: No idea. [leaps over approaching ninja; kicks ninja's back; flips over ninja and tackles another ninja with feet] What are you doing here?
 * Ninja 2: We're guards of the Bomb Band.
 * SpongeBob: Guards? Are you saying that the Bomb Band is in the agency right now? [ninja punches SpongeBob out of the way]
 * Ninja 3: That's right. [flips out of way of Sandy]
 * Sandy: What are they doing in here?
 * Ninja 4: That's for us to know and for this lousy spy team to never figure out.
 * Patrick: [picks up Ninja 4 and throws him into wall] Never say never, Mister. [holds out fist] We have our ways of making people talk. [grabbed by ninja and thrown to ground]
 * Ninja 5: And we have our ways of making people not make us talk.
 * [the ERGBB are now all on the ground]
 * Ninja 1: Don't count on us being back. [all ninjas escape via grappling hook]
 * SpongeBob: What would the Bomb Band be doing in the agency? [stands up, along with the rest of the team]
 * Squidward: I'd say...exploding stuff.
 * Patrick: I was hoping not. [all of team begin running out of the door]
 * SpongeBob: [looks around; feels wall] Nothing feels hot. Nothing looks broken or weak. [sniffs] I don't smell any explosives.
 * Patrick: Me neither. They must not have done anything.
 * Sandy: [walks from behind corner] I wouldn't say that. They did leave a note. [holds up note]
 * SpongeBob: Let's see that. [holds up note; reads it aloud] "You have made the biggest mistake of your lives. Leave now or be obliterated.".
 * Squidward: Well, looks like we're sitting this one out, huh guys?
 * SpongeBob: Not even close. We're going to investigate. We have no other choice. [holds up note] We better hurry while we still have a chance.
 * Patrick: Yikes. I think they did do something. [wipes rust off of object] Yep. They left decoys. It says right here "BB". I'm guessing that means Bomb Band.
 * Sandy: Hmm. [walks over to object] Rust. This object has rust on it! Rust! That's it!
 * SpongeBob: Where are you getting at, Sandy?
 * Sandy: Something that might explain, well, something, but we need to investigate so I can be sure.
 * SpongeBob: Then we better get started.
 * [scene cuts to the bank in question]
 * SpongeBob: [looks inside of the safe] Whoa. This is thing is clear. How do they find space to carry explosives and still have enough room to carry a whole safe of money?!
 * Patrick: Amazing, isn't it. Just don't get any funny ideas.
 * SpongeBob: [laughs] Maybe. [looks at dollar bill, sitting unharmed on a shelf] Yep. There it is. That one dollar that's unharmed.
 * Patrick: Great. Let's take it and go.
 * SpongeBob: [laughing] I wish. But I don't think we should. It could be an explosive.
 * Patrick: [shivers] I just get chills standing in here. Who knows if the explosives they plant could still be in here.
 * Sandy: I'd say there are none. [holds up object] I found another object in here. It says "BB" like the other one. And just like the other one, it has rust on it!
 * SpongeBob: What's your hypothesis, Sandy?
 * Sandy: Well, in this case, this rust is coming from an increase in the amount of hydrogen atoms found in the environment around it.
 * Patrick: What does this do?
 * Sandy: It's the perfect [does air quotes] "explosive". The Bomb Band don't really use explosives at all. They increase the amount of hydrogen atoms in the air, which causes rust to accumulate on an object. The object becomes weak and falls apart, allowing the band to come in and steal whatever they please.
 * SpongeBob: Brilliant! What else does it do?
 * Sandy: Well, I think that the rust knocks out the surrouding people, therefore there is no resistance against them.
 * SpongeBob: These guys are evil geniuses, which just means we need to double our efforts! [throws fist inside other hand] Let's move out! There could still be evidence here. We all need to split up and find more evidence. [points to Patrick and Sandy] Sandy, take Patrick. You two are the best at finding the technological clues and what-not. [points to Squidward] Squidward, you're coming with me. We'll find clues that can lead to their evidence.
 * [scene cuts to SpongeBob and Squidward, finding evidence around the bank]
 * Squidward: This is useless. We're never going to find anything that links us to the Bomb Band.
 * SpongeBob: Never say never, Squidward. [picks up piece of metal] This piece of metal must be from one of their rust bombs. [examines it] In fact, this looks like the same metal used in a 550x bomb.
 * Squidward: I think I've seen that metal down at the nuclear power plant downtown.
 * Patrick: [comes around corner with Sandy] We heard the world "nuclear" being used. If that's being used, I think we have a plan.
 * SpongeBob: A plan we don't have. A reason we do.
 * [scene cuts to the nuclear power plant]
 * Patrick: [parks boat] We're here. The Nuclear Power Plant of Bikini Bottom.
 * SpongeBob: Why would they be here if they don't even use real explosives?
 * Sandy: It's a good thing we're here to figure that out.
 * [the ERGBB enter the building; the inside is, oddly, brightly lit, revealing multiple buttons, exposed wires, and diodes]
 * Squidward: Why would they have a brightly lit room when they're commiting a crime?
 * Voice: So that you can see us while we pound you. [punches Squidward into a seat]
 * [camera pans out to reveal three male fish, dressed in heavy military armor]
 * SpongeBob: Who are you?
 * Bomb Band Member 1: You think he would know by now, right? [stands firmly] We are the Bomb Band, of course. Who else were you expecting? The cable guy?
 * SpongeBob: We wouldn't mind it.
 * BBM 1: Well then. [cracks fist] Let's get it on. [leaps toward SpongeBob]
 * SpongeBob: [dodges the leap; kicks BBM 1 away from him] Why are you using the power plant?
 * BBM 1: I don't see how that's your business. [punches SpongeBob away]
 * SpongeBob: Oof! [dodges approaching BBM 1] Why did you plant all of those objects around town with the letters "BB" on them?
 * BBM 1: Those objects are ignitions. In this nuclear plant is a magnetic field explosive that can charge each of those objects. The energy from those objects will go directly to the dollar bill we left in the safe. The dollar bill will catch fire, igniting everything, causing the disentegration of the sea! [laughs evilly]
 * SpongeBob: [gasps] Not only that, but also...the Big Man!
 * Patrick: Oh no! The Big Man! I thought we disabled that.
 * BBM 1: Ooh. I'm excited now. [smirks] What's the Big Man?
 * Sandy: If you must know, the Big Man is the largest bomb ever made in the ocean. It is so powerful, that it has never and possibly will never be used. If it is ever enabled, it is possible it can destroy the entire Earth.
 * BBM 1: [jumps excitedly] It looks like I got a two-for-one deal. [kicked by SpongeBob]
 * SpongeBob: You're not getting anything! [places BBM 1's arms behind him; quickly places the handcuffs on him] You're under arrest for "attempted use of explosive weapons".
 * [the rest of the team arrest the rest of the Bomb Band members]
 * BBM 2: This is messed up! We didn't even do anything.
 * Patrick: Tell that to the judge, bomb artist.
 * BBM 1: You may have foiled me, but my bomb detenator would say otherwise.
 * SpongeBob: [throws BBM 1 away] That's what you think. Sandy, what say you?
 * Sandy: [thinks] I don't know. It's so complex. There are five components here. It's so...[gets idea] odd! They're all negative charges! Five negative charges still make a negative!
 * SpongeBob: What does that do?
 * Sandy: If I can gather enough negative charge, then maybe I can short-circuit all of the explosives before it reaches the dollar bill. But where to find enough negative charge?
 * SpongeBob: Why don't you try Squidward?
 * Squidward: [holding BBM 3] Very funny.
 * BBM 3: [breaks out of handcuffs] Just for the record, I hate calamari! [punches Squidward to the ground]
 * Squidward: [kicks up and kicks BBM 3 in face] Good for you that it's not on the menu.
 * Sandy: Where? Where? [looks at space needle atop the building] Perfect. [begins running upstairs]
 * BBM 1: [breaks out of handcuffs] Don't let her get away!
 * [the Bomb Band begin running up the stairs]
 * Squidward: Oh, come on. [SpongeBob, Squidward, and Patrick begin following the Bomb Band members]
 * [scene cuts to the roof where the space needle is; the Bomb Band members have already spotted Sandy]
 * BBM 1: [points to Sandy] Stop her! She's going to ruin the plan! [BBM members 1 and 2 head toward Sandy]
 * Sandy: You're too late! I already got enough negative charge to shut down all of the explosives.
 * BBM 1: Really? You've got all of this planned out?
 * Sandy: Yep. I do.
 * BBM 1: Now how exactly are you going to stop the explosives when they're right here?! [grabs explosives]
 * Sandy: [gasps] How did you get them?
 * BBM 1: I also had them! The rest were decoys! If you even attempt to combine the negative energy, it'll do no good. It can never span out enough to stop the dollar bill.
 * Sandy: Oh no!
 * Patrick: Hold it right there, bomber! The defeat is still alive!
 * SpongeBob: Really? It's not dead already?
 * Patrick: Nope.
 * BBM 1: Yes, it is. There's nothing that can fire the negative energy far enough to disable the explosives and the decoys!
 * Patrick: Oh, yes there is. [points to space needle] I'd say the space needle is just tall enough.
 * BBM 2: We won't let you do it! [charges toward Patrick]
 * Patrick: You won't let us, so we'll allow ourselves. [kicks BBM 2 away; lifts BBM 2 and throws him away] Hurry and get those objects from their leader, SpongeBob. I hold off the rest.
 * SpongeBob: Got it! [flips and kicks BBM 1 in the face; steals bag] Got them! [takes out objects and throws them to Sandy; tackled by BBM 1]
 * [Sandy attaches a belt to the space needle; places the objects into the belt]
 * Sandy: I hope this works. [takes out charge] Let's do this. [presses button on charge; the charge sends electricity up the space needle]
 * [the space needle begins sending an abundance of negative energy into the air]
 * SpongeBob: [kicks BBM 1 away] Did it work?
 * Sandy: [the space needle stops emmiting the energy] I think so.
 * BBM 1: [near the edge of the building] You may have won the battle, but the war has just begun. [presses button; sonic shockwave knocks the team down while piloting the Bomb Band away from the building]
 * Patrick: [rolling around slowly on ground] Well, that hurt.
 * SpongeBob: Yep. [stands up painfully] Well, no one said that Saturdays would be painless.
 * [episode ends]