Boys Will Be Boys

Boys Will Be Boys is the fourteenth episode of Total Drama SBFW. It aired September 2, 2019 and was written by Purple133.

Transcript
(Episode opens in a large dining room with both teams)

Joey: So what’s going on?

Alex: Today, something’s happening.

Waluigi: WAH! But what is the question?

Alex: Teams are being broken up! We have reached the merge!

Purps: (sarcastically) woohoo.

Alex: What?

Purps: Well it’s just when we were in teams it was easier to win.

SBCA: I agree. Hey want to become friends?

Purps: Do I?! YES.

Alex: Guys shut up. Anyways for today’s challenge, we’re splitting you up by gender!

(Image confessional)

Image: Ok so 8 Versus 2. I mean we could win because boys will be boys. Wow that felt forced. Oh wait, it is.

(Vanessa confessional)

Vanessa: What the hell why it’s so unfair.

(To the challenge)

Waluigi: WAH! Today in the ultimate gender showdown, you will be participating in a series of increasingly difficult trials.

Bot: Such as?

Cici: Yeah I want to know.

Waluigi: WAH! Athletic trials! The last person standing wins their team a trip to the spa and a fine dining experience! No elimination tonight either!

Purps: Hell Yeah!

Vanessa: I need that fine dining.trials! The last person standing wins their team a trip to the spa and a fine dining experience! No elimination tonight either!

Purps: Hell yeah.

Crazy: o

Waluigi: For your first trial, you will be going through real life Mario Kart in my pinball machine!

Alex: 10th to 6th place will be eliminated from the trials!

Waluigi: Now everybody, choose a Kart.

(Cici confessional)

Cici: This is crazy. Real life Mario Kart! Also with this merge, I’ve noticed Dan seems like quite a shady character.

(Everyone is in their kart)

Waluigi: WAH! One long lap around my Mega pinball machine!

Purps: Vroom vroom.

Alex: On your marks, get set, go!!!

(Bot’s engine gets blown out of the kart, lands on Dan’s kart, and explodes as everyone else takes off)

Dan: BOT WHAT THE HELL?!

Bot: OMGOOPS! Sorry Dan!

(Vanessa gets a missile launcher)

Image: Wait what?

Vanessa: (looking at the screen to choose a target) I’m going to pick Joey for working with that bitch Elli for so long!

(Vanessa locks her missile launcher onto Joey)

Joey: La la la, driving is fun!

(The missile fires, hits Joey’s kart, and sends him flying off the track)

Joey: Shiiiiiiiiiiii

(Cut to Purps who is in the lead as Crazy and SBCA race behind him)

Purps: Hey Crazy you can get this coin!

Crazy: Coin?

(Crazy’s car hits the coin instantly crashing it)

Crazy: Damn you Purps! I knew your IQ could ‘t be very high!

SBCA: Was that in purpose?

Purps: No.

(Purps confessional)

Purps: It was totally on purpose he only ever says o.

(Purps and SBCA are about the cross the finish line)

Waluigi: WAH! Purps and SBCA are already coming in!

Purps: Wait what’s that?

(Dan is pushing his kart and Bot is trying to fix his)

Bot: Dammit they’re already coming in.

SBCA: Hey guys!

Alex: And Purps wins! Good job. The next five people to come in are also safe.

(SBCA comes in; Vanessa is barreling down the final ramp when her car flips off the side and explodes as she jumps out)

Vanessa: Oh fuck.

Alex: Well, get out and push!

Vanessa: IT’S ON FIRE.

Alex: So?

(Golf comes in 3rd)

Golf: Wait why wasn’t I in the episode up to this point?

Purps: Howdy Golf!

Golf: Shut up fuckwad.

Purps: Okay.

(Image comes in 4th)

Alex: Only two spots left!

Image: You got this Vanessa!

Vanessa: I CAN’T  TOUCH MY CAR WITHOUT BURNING MY HANDS.

(Cici comes in fifth)

Alex: One spot left to everyone who’s still going!

Waluigi: WAH! Everyone left is crashed!

(Bot fixes his car)

Bot: Later suckers!

(Bot drives his car and makes the entire course, getting him the final spot)

Alex: And Bot makes a miraculous comeback! Crazy, Dan, Joey, and Vanessa, you are all not moving on.

Vanessa: Wait where is Joey?

(Joey is sitting in his car crying)

Joey: I can’t believe I already failed.

(Cut back to everyone else)

Dan: DAMMIT!

Purps: Bro chill.

Bot: You do understand it was boys versus girls and now it’s 5 guys and 1 girl right?

Image: And???

Dan: Nah you’re right Bot. No way Image beats us all.

Image: Hey!

(Cut to the next trial)

Waluigi: WAH! For this trial you will be speed eating!

Image: What do you mean?

Waluigi: Here, a platter of my special DRAGON FIRE SUSHI!

Alex: The three people who eat that the fastest will move on to the next and final trial. Unless of course Image gets out, then the guys win the spa and restaurant trip.

Waluigi: Go!

Purps: I can do this.

(Purps finishes his platter)

Waluigi: WAH! Done already?

Purps: I NEED MILK PLEASE OH GOD MY MOUTH IS BURNING.

Waluigi: Here you go.

(Waluigi hands Purps a bottle of milk)

Purps: (drinking the milk) thank you.

(Image finishes)

Image: Yes! I WANT THE REWARD.

Alex: And Image continues the war of the genders by getting second place. Only one spot left, who’s going to join Purps and Image?

Waluigi: WAH!

(Bot finishes his sushi)

Bot; Hooray.

Alex: And it’s Bot with another last place finish!

Bot: Hooray.

(Cut to the final trial)

Alex: For your final trial, just stay on this elevated platform for as long as possible while dodging the obstacles.

(Purps gets hit off before the challenge even begins)

Purps: Crap.

Alex: Okay then.

(Bot gets hit off too)

Waluigi: WAH! The trial hasn’t EVEN BEGUN!

Alex: Well it looks like Image won for her and Vanessa. Good job!

Vanessa: Cool.

Image: Spa and resteraunt time!

Alex: Goodbye you two!

Waluigi: Way to let the guys down Bot and Purps.

Purps: In my defense,

SBCA: ACCIDENTS HAPPEN IT’S ALL GOOD!