A Trip In The Woods

A Trip In The Woods is the third episode of SBFW Campsite, and the third in season 1.

Plot
SeemsGood and Matchy get lost when they go on a trip in the woods.

Transcript
(The episode starts with SeemsGood and Jasbre lifting up a heavy package into Jasbre’s house)

SeemsGood: What’s even in this damn thing?

Jasbre: It’s my custom SpongeBob Blu-Ray rips. All in crispy 4K. (moans)

SeemsGood: Yeah, you have a cartoon fetish, my dude.

Jasbre: I don’t have any fetishes. Unlike Crazy.

SeemsGood: You talk about that shit all the time. It gets boring.

Jasbre: Well, then why not we do something else? That is, after getting this package inside.

SeemsGood: I dunno, maybe take a walk in the woods?

Jasbre: I’d rather not. I have 200 SpongeBob episodes to rewatch for the 206th time.

SeemsGood: But you just said-

Jasbre: Nuh-uh. I’m not going outside until I rewatch all those episodes.

SeemsGood: Fine. But I’m asking the others if they want to walk in the woods with me.

Jasbre: Hold on. (SeemsGood lets go of the package, then Jasbre does the same) Fine, do what you want.

SeemsGood: Yay! (runs away, while Jasbre looks at Bong)

Jasbre: Continue, please.

Bong: (sighs) Fine.

(theme song. Cut to SeemsGood knocking on Matchy’s door. Matchy opens the door.)

Matchy: Hey, Seems, what do you want?

SeemsGood: I was wondering if we could go on a trip to the woods.

Matchy: Sure! I like going on trips.

SeemsGood: We’ll go this afternoon.

Matchy: Okay!

SeemsGood: Alrighty then. See you this afternoon! (he leaves. Cut to a montage of SeemsGood knocking on people’s doors and asking if they want to join the trip)

Polar: Nah.

Bong: No.

Jasbre: No. I’m masturbating to the SpongeBob Blu-Ray rips!

SeemsGood: So you had a cartoon fetish after all.

Jasbre: Shit.

SpongeBot: No need to. I am doing my snorting cocaine session!

(Cut to SeemsGood with a frown)

SeemsGood: Looks like they don’t want to smell the beautifulness of nature. Dang fools.

(Pluto pops up, bandaged)

Pluto: YoU!

SeemsGood: Oh shit. (he runs away and Pluto chases him)

(Cut to afternoon, when SeemsGood and Matchy are preparing for the trip)

SeemsGood: This is gonna be fun!

Matchy: Yeah! We will watch Bambi rip-offs go by the river!

SeemsGood: Yeah…

Matchy: I'm bringing my 3DS, because reasons.

SeemsGood: That thing’s ancient.

Matchy: If you're calling 2015 ancient you have some problems.

SeemsGood: I’m bringing my old, chubby Game Boy.

Matchy: Well, that is ancient.

SeemsGood: If you’re calling 1989 ancient you have some problems.

Matchy: Stop copying my lines!

SeemsGood: Fine.

(Cut to SeemsGood and Matchy walking toward the woods)

Matchy: So we’re just gonna walk?

SeemsGood: Not just walk. We do stuff.

Matchy: What kinds of stuff?

SeemsGood: You’ll see.

(They continue walking until they see five pathways ahead of them)

Matchy: Goddamn, which path do we take?

SeemsGood: Uh, the middle one? No, the one on the far left.

Matchy: Far left it is. (They take the leftmost path. Then they see another five pathways)

SeemsGood: Another one of these? Who’s trolling us?

Matchy: Nature, I guess. Uhh… let’s take the far right one. (They take the rightmost path)

(SeemsGood and Matchy see a sign that says ‘’Ha, you got fooled, bitches. Get lost!’’)

SeemsGood: Goddamnit.

Matchy: Now what?

SeemsGood: Climb on the tallest tree we can find.

Matchy: Do you even know how to climb?

SeemsGood: No.

Matchy: Me neither.

SeemsGood: Good, I don’t wanna look bad in front of anyone.

Matchy: Sooo… what now?

SeemsGood: I brought my trusty Sony Shitex GPS with me. We could use that.

Matchy: Phew. Thank god.

SeemsGood: Now, let’s see here… (turns on GPS)

GPS: In ten miles, turn right.

SeemsGood: Wait, this is a road GPS. Goddammit mom!

Matchy: Your mom is here?

SeemsGood: No.

Matchy: Oh.

SeemsGood: Hold on a sec… (turns off road mode on GPS) there.

GPS: To get to your target destination, walk twenty thousand miles west.

Matchy: Twenty-thousand?! Holy shit!

SeemsGood: We really are lost.

Matchy: How long will it take?

SeemsGood: Ten hours.

Matchy: I guess we'll have to walk the whole way back.

SeemsGood: Wait a second, I know a shortcut!

Matchy: And where’s the shortcu- (SeemsGood grabs him by the arm, running off the path to the west)

SeemsGood: This won't take long at all!

Matchy: I doubt that!

SeemsGood: Nah! (they stop at a spot) I think we’re close to the camp! (The spot is revealed to be a river leading to a waterfall) OH SHIT!

Matchy: Dammit, SeemsGood!

(they realize they are too late to reach land and they are about to fall down the waterfall)

Matchy: (in a light voice) Oh look, SeemsGood! We’re f**ked! Unless you have anything useful in your bag!

SeemsGood: Sadly I don't. We're screwed. (Starts screaming, and Matchy does as well)

Matchy: Tell my mom she's an annoying little bi- (they splash into the water below)

SeemsGood: Phew. I guess we survived.

Matchy: Yeah. What does your GPS say?

GPS: Walk one thousand miles west to get to your destination.

SeemsGood: Looks like we're getting close.

Matchy: Where even are we?

GPS: Boogertown.

Matchy: Never heard of Boogertown.

SeemsGood: Hey, can we stop with the gross-out jokes? It's getting old.

Matchy: Yeah. But who gives a flying shit from Travis’ asshole, we will go back to it in the next episode.

SeemsGood: True. Anyways, let’s keep going.

Matchy: Hey, I see the town up ahead.

SeemsGood: We should probably walk around it.

Matchy: Good idea. (They attempt to walk around it, but a weird smelly hobo runs up to them.)

Hobo: lFJDKLFJELFJ?

SeemsGood: What?

Hobo: DFJSLKFJSDLKSDFJLKF!

Matchy: We have no idea what you’re even trying to say.

Hobo: WUT?

SeemsGood: Wait wut

Hobo: GIMME YOUR MONEY OR I’LL SUMMON TRAVIS ON YOUR ASSCHEEKS!

Matchy: Oh god.

SeemsGood: Run. (They start running, with the weird hobo on their tails)

Hobo: MONEY MONEY MONEY FOR ME!

SeemsGood: Rob a damn bank instead of forcing money out of foreigners!

Hobo: NO! FOREIGNERS STUPID ENOUGH TO GIVE MONEY!

Matchy: Should we hide?

SeemsGood: The woods are just up ahead. (They continue running, with the hobo still after them. Eventually they reach the woods and they stop.)

SeemsGood: (panting) I think we lost him.

Matchy: (panting) Yeah. How much longer until we get back to camp?

GPS: Walk twenty-five miles west to your destination.

SeemsGood: Oh thank f**king god. My vocal chords need a damn break.

Matchy: I’m dying here.

SeemsGood: We’re all out of water. Ugh… let’s finish walking (A few minutes later, they finally reach the camp)

Matchy: We made it!

SeemsGood: And it took only five hours… (passes out on the ground)

Matchy: Aw great, now I have to drag him all the damn way to his house.

(Cut to Matchy letting go of SeemsGood on his doorstep)

Matchy: There. Done. Now to… go home. (Walks home to see Bong on his doorstep)

Matchy: Bong? What are you doing here?

Bong: I changed my mind. I wanna go walk in the woods now.

Matchy: But I just got ho-

Bong: Let’s go! And bring SeemsGood with us. (drags Matchy by his feet)

Matchy: (moans) I wanna go hoooooome now.

(The End)

(post-credits scene. Bong is with Matchy and SeemsGood (who is still unconscious) and they enter Boogertown again)

Bong: You guys were here?

Matchy: Yeah. There was a hobo that- (the hobo suddenly pops up)

Hobo: HEY POOPS!

Bong: Oh shit.

(Proper end)