Pain and Determination

Pain and Determination is the eighteenth episode of the fourth season of Basket Sponge. This episode is the 78th episode overall.

Transcript
[The episode begins with the team a couple of days after the events of the last episode in the gym.]

Kobe: So, it’s the semi-final tomorrow.

Squidward [fat and bulbous]: Oh crap, I shouldn’t have eaten that much pizza then. Coach, can I be excused?

Kobe: Yeah, sure, Squidward.

[Squidward rushes over to the toilets.]

Kobe: Anyways, these next two matches are gonna be the last two of the season, so we’ve got to step it up or it looks like it could be the end of the Bulldogs.

Larry: Not again, I just finally got over the first one.

Kobe: Larry, it’s a figure of speech. Get over yourself. Wait, hold on… where’s Lexi?

SpongeBob: With Patrick.

Patrick: Dead.

Larry: Still on the plane.

Sandy: I don’t know.

Kobe: I don’t think Squidward could really answer at the moment, so I’ll just say Connecticut.

[Lexi bursts in.]

Lexi: Right, sorry that I’m late. No, I’m not with Patrick, or dead, or still on the plane. It’s just… I had to train by myself for once.

Kobe: What are you saying, you wanna train by yourself?

Lexi: It was only once, Kobe. C’mon.

Kobe: It’s fine.

Larry: Wait, so she gets to train by herself for once and for the last four years I’ve had to train with you guys?! Jeez… bias much?

Lexi: It was just the one time, Larry. Trust me, I’d love it to happen more than once but it just wouldn’t be fair on you guys.

[Title-card appears.]

French Narrator: “What Really Happened.”

[We cut to Lexi and Britney from “Music Festival” as Lexi is getting dressed into her basketball uniform.]

Britney: C’mon… please let me at least watch one of your matches.

Lexi: Not yet, it’s a bit soon, Britney. It’s like meeting the parents after you’ve just met

Britney: Yeah, that is hard to grasp and I know it’s the finals… so maybe next season if there is one?

Lexi: Trust me man, they’ll be a next season.

[She rushes out by giving Britney a kiss and then running as we cut back to the current events.]

Kobe: Anyways, it’s the semi-final of this season, we’re up against The Denver Dolphins.

Lexi: Ohhhh… the Denver Dolphins…

SpongeBob: You know them?

Lexi: A bit too well, SpongeBob. Let’s just say it didn’t go well.

Kobe: Go well in the way that Patrick usually ruins the game or in the way way Larry does?

Patrick: Huh? Is my order ready?

Larry: Hey! Don’t just pick on me!

Lexi: If we survive the game, I’ll tell you. Anyways, I’m heading off to the restroom.

SpongeBob: Erm… L-

[She opens the doors to the toilets as she sees Squidward passed out whilst most of the cubicles are closed.]

Lexi: SQUIDWARD, WHAT THE HELL?!

[She closes the door.]

Larry: Coach, you know about these Denver Dolphins?

Kobe: No Larry, I know nothing about them except that we’re up next with them.

Larry: No, but like… are they actual real dolphins? Are we gonna bump into Free Willy at the same time?

[Kobe facepalms.]

SpongeBob: Wasn’t Willy a whale?

Kobe: It doesn’t matter. I need to use Patrick for something.

Patrick: Awesome, I get to do some signing for my new book?

Kobe: Wait… new book, when did you do that?

Patrick: Like now! Here, you can have a signed book for yourself.

[He gives Kobe a copy of PATRICK STAR, “A NIGHT WITH THE STAR”. Kobe flicks through it.]

Kobe: Righhht, I’ll flick through that later. Patrick, I need you to stand here. I’ll go and get some rope.

SpongeBob: Kobe, what are you doing to him?

Kobe: Preparing you for this match, the only “fun” way I can.

[Kobe gets some rope and superglue and glues Patrick’s feet to stay on the floor.]

Kobe: Now, I know you might be asking why Patrick’s like this.

Larry: I’m asking why you haven’t done this earlier, I’m already liking the sound of this!

Kobe: Okay. Well you see, I have this wild idea that these Denver Dolphins are real dolphins, so here’s Patrick as a dolphin.

[Lexi exits out with Squidward of the restroom.]

Lexi (to Squidward): We… are not going to talk about what happened in there.

Patrick: No… SQUIDWARD, HOW COULD YOU?

Squidward: What the heck Patrick! I don’t even fancy Lexi!

Lexi: Yeah, I didn’t mean that. I mean you’re troubles in the toilets.

Squidward: I don’t digest pizza well.

Lexi: Anyways, what’s Patrick doing like that?

Larry: Apparently Coach thinks that the Denver Dolphins are really dolphins.

Lexi: He’s telling the truth, they are.

Larry: Great, CATCH THIS PATRICK!

[Larry throws him one of the copies of Patrick’s “book” as Patrick fails to catch it.]

Larry: Yeah, I think we’ve got a chance of winning against them.

[Patrick falls over.]

Squidward: Yeah, but they’re probably not as dumb as Patrick.

SpongeBob: Hey guys, Patrick ain’t that dumb!

[Patrick starts trying to eat the ropes.]

SpongeBob: Okay, I see your point but c’mon guys… remember when we took care of the Tomahawks as beginners?

Kobe: I don’t. Wait, was that just after I subbed for you guys?

Lexi: I can’t remember that, SpongeBob.

SpongeBob: Alright… you know what I was trying to say.

Squidward: Hold up, where are the Tomahawks? Shouldn’t they be kicking us by now?

[cut to Adam and Alex back in their English home, Adam is sitting with a British newspaper at the sports section and Alex is cleaning her basketball shoes.]

Adam: So, why aren’t you in the finals, my dear?

Alex: I tried to kill the sign-ups guy cause he wouldn’t let me in the later stages of the tournament.

Adam: And did you get rid of him?

Alex: No… cause I didn’t want to get the team arrested.

Adam: (huffs) You know, back in my day.

Alex: Which was three years ago.

Adam: Back in my day, we would have done anything to get the team in. If you want to be a good leader, you have to learn. But first, make me some more tea.

Alex: Yes… Adam.

Adam: Cheers.

[he goes back to reading his newspaper.]

[We cut to the end of the practice where Patrick is still standing, even with some book shaped marks in his body.]

Kobe: Right guys, I think it’s time we call it. Match should be at 8, so we all need to be ready and that means no more pizzas, Squidward.

Squidward: Yeah, I think I understood that.

Kobe: Right, game on guys… game on.

[He leaves the building first.]

Lexi: Hold on guys, where was Sandy throughout all of this?

SpongeBob: Probably hibernating.

Squidward: Wait, if she’s hibernating now… I should probably get to her house!

Larry: Hold on there, Romeo. Unless you wanna get to hers and get killed, then you should probably let her sleep.

Squidward: I guess you’re right, Larry.

Larry: I mean… you probably wouldn’t be able to get with her again.

[The two of them fight, rough and tumble across the doors as the rest of the team leave but Patrick.]

Patrick: Hey guys...? Does anyone wanna still want a signed copy?

[Cut to a news report of the match introduced by Johnny Elaine.]

Johnny Elaine: WELCOME to the semi-finals of this current season, I’m sure we’ve all been here before. The Bikini Bottom Bulldogs versus The Denver Dolphins. Let’s take a look at the arrival of the dolphins.

[The dolphins arrive in their jeep as the press get on them as soon as they exit the car.]

Dolph: [*angry dolphin noises*] Translated: JESUS, ANOTHER PRESS ATTACK AGAIN?!

Flipper: [*calmer dolphin noises*] Translated: I swear I’m starting to get blind from most of these cameras, tell them to stop using so much flash!

Flub: [*stupid dolphin noises*] Stupid bright light makes me interested. When do we play basketball?

Blowhole: We play now. This team ain’t gonna know what’s coming.

[The four of them with two more exit.]

Johnny Elaine: Well, I’m sure they said something challenging for the Bulldogs, if only we had a dolphin translator to know! So, stay tuned as we switch over to the sports.

[we zoom out of the TV screen to see Adam and Alex watching.]

Alex: DOLPHINS? WE GOT CUT OUT FOR A COUPLE OF FLIPPING DOLPHINS?!

Adam: I’m afraid you did dear. Oh well… [chuckles] better luck next season.

Alex: No, I’m calling the team for the final.

Adam: You can’t.

Alex: When did that ever stop you?

Adam: Like… once.

Alex: Oh never mind… start rubbing my shoulders, will ya?

[Before he does so, we cut to the introduction before the beginning of the match.]

Kobe: Okay guys, I’ve got 5 bucks on them being dolphins. Trust me.

[The Denver Dolphins enter in.]

Kobe: Yes. Right, remember your training guys.

Larry: Gotcha coach. Already stacked up.

Patrick: HEY! GET OFF MY BOOKS! IT’S A BEST-SELLER!

Kobe: I should have asked if books are allowed.

Lexi: Coach, the Harlem Globetrotters had a ladder, I’m sure we can take them down with a couple of books… strapped to basketballs.

Dolph: Do you guys see anyone you recognise?

[He spots Lexi.]

Dolph: IT’S HER!

Flub: Who’s that woman in the Bulldogs, she’s looks smoooth?

Blowhole: So… it’s Ms Flynn on the other side for once. Well boys, let’s show her a welcome return.

[on the other side.]

Squidward: What are they saying on the other side?

Lexi: HEY, one of them called me smooth! That’s it… you guys, I’m gonna get them once and for all!

[The match starts, Lexi grabs one of the books and straps it to a ball, hitting Flub and bouncing to the hoop.]

Lexi: What do you think of me now, smooth?

Flub: Hey… that’s sort of relaxing. Do that again!

Lexi: God, you smell like you’ve been on a pub crawl.

[Larry throws one of the books at one of the unknown ones as he passes the ball through the others, one of them tries to get him… but he pinches their flipper.]

Unknown Player: Arghhh, he got me guys!

Blowhole: Shut up you, you don’t speak… remember?

Unknown Player: Oh… yes sir.

[We cut to the break portion of the match. Lexi goes to the audience and finds someone with a hood up.]

Lexi: Britney dear, you look like a chav with that hoodie on.

Britney: I wish you would have not spotted it. Now I look ridiculous in this crowd.

Lexi: Darling, I could spot you from where I was playing. C’mon… if you take the hood down, I’ll introduce you to the team.

[Britney puts her hood down.]

Britney: So, do you know the other team?

Lexi: All too well.

[We transition to a flashback where S3 Evil Lexi meets the Dolphins.]

Evil Lexi: Hello boys, my name is Lexi Justine Flynn and I want to give you an offer you can’t refuse.

Blowhole: Okay then, what is it that you want? Evil Lexi: Apparently you want to know what I flaunt. Which unfortunately I’m not for sale.

Dolph: We… never asked that.

Evil Lexi: I think you asked that.

Flub: We didn’t, doll!

Evil Lexi: Hold on guys, I’ll be back with a deal.

[She speaks directly to her ear-piece]

Evil Lexi: Justin. Justin! The dolphin translator doesn’t work!

Dolph: I think she’s disrespecting us. Let’s get her.

[They start hopping towards her to swarm her. This ends the flashback.]

Lexi: I wish I had that Groucho Marx disguise, only Patrick (points to the starfish) stole it to buy a copy of his own book.

Britney: Patrick sounds like an idiot.

Lexi: He is… but he used to be a fun idiot. Anyways, I’ll see you after the game!

[She runs back down to the court.]

Britney: What a girl.

[Back on the court, the second half of the match begins as one of the Dolphins sprains himself.]

Unknown Player 2: Argghhh! I’ve sprained myself!

Dolph: Shut up! You better get that sorted or else they’ll…

[The Bulldogs score another shot whilst they’re distracted.]

Blowhole: RIGHT boys! We’re getting the Bulldogs right now! STARTING with Ms Lexi Flynn!

[Blowhole smells some fish however as he looks to see Kobe with a fish sandwich as the team start to crowd around him to get rid of him. Kobe throws it to Patrick, who ends up getting pummelled at the end of the match.]

Johnny Elaine: And there you go, everyone. The Bulldogs have won the semi-finals with 125 points over the Denver Dolphin’s measly 25, that means only one more team to go. Stay tuned on the latest news!

[We cut to the aftermath of the recent match.]

Kobe: That was awesome guys, we’ve only got the finals to go and then WE are done for this season! Now who is the last team?

[Just as he says the question, a strobe light shines through the entrance of the court as Squilliam Fancyson walks down the entrance with a team, including Sandy.]

Larry: There she was this whole dang time! She was betraying us yet again!

Squidward: No, come on… this can’t be happening to me!

Squilliam: Hello SQUIDWARD and the rest of the Bikini Bottom Corndogs. I would congratulate you on winning the match but I’m just dreaming about how you’ll all lose when you’ll be against us, The Skinners!

[Squlliam bellows out a laugh.]

Squidward: Noooooooooooooooo!

[The Skinners leave the court as Squidward kneels on the court.]

[Lexi brings down Britney.]

Lexi: Hey guys, I just wanted to make sure it would be alright if you guys met my new girlfriend, Britney Fishcer.

Patrick (muffled): Noooooooooooooooo!

Kobe: Shut up Patrick, tell me Britney… can you play? We’re down one member… so we really need some help.

Britney: Hmmm, give me the basketball, Mr Bryant.

[Kobe hands it over as she throws it with one hand as it hits the wall and then back in her hand before hitting it straight into the hoop without looking.]

Britney: When can I start?

Kobe: Now… we’re all gonna need to start. We only have ONE WEEK until the next match, so this coming week will be the hardest week for this team because we deserve to beat them. They’ve taken one of ours, but we have someone new. So… let’s get this show on the road.

[All of the team leave the court.]

To be continued in The Promising Payoff!

Trivia

 * This episode was meant to be written by both SBCA and The Toon Tomahawk (when she was still going by The Imperial Ghost name.) until SBCA left the wiki, so Amanda wrote the episode by herself without any help with producer, TheJasbre202
 * This was the first time since writing Return of the Tomahawks that Amanda had written an episode by herself.