Retrovania

Retrovania is the sixth episode of SBFW Campsite, and the sixth in season 1.

Plot
After seeing the AVGN's game room, SeemsGood starts to collect retro games. Meanwhile, Bong tries to encourage the other campers to drink.

Transcript
(the episode begins with SeemsGood watching an Angry Video Game Nerd episode on Amazon Prime Video.)

TV: He’s gonna take you back to the past… to play the shitty games that suck ass!

SeemsGood: Sounds good to me! Damn, I love this show.

(he continues watching the episode, where the Nerd reviews Pong consoles. He is fascinated by his game collection)

SeemsGood: This is awesome shit right here! I should collect retro games, cause this looks fun!

(he goes to Amazon to order some NES games)

SeemsGood: Ah, the classic NES. Sounds like a good beginner system to collect games for.

(Matchy knocks on the door)

SeemsGood: Who is it?

Matchy: Matchy! Jasbre made me make sure you got this flyer!

SeemsGood: (sighs) Come in! (Matchy comes in)

Matchy: Whatcha doin’?

SeemsGood: Just starting a retro game collection.

Matchy: Too bad I sold most of my Wii games.

SeemsGood: No, more retro than that. Like 80s and 90s retro.

Matchy: Oh. The only retro console I own is a Game Boy Color.

SeemsGood: If you want to start a collection, buy some other systems. I’m buying the Genesis next.

Matchy: Good luck catching ‘em all.

SeemsGood: I have my ways. Hehe…

Matchy: Okay then. (hands flyer to SeemsGood)

SeemsGood: “The eat a rock competition”? Oh screw off Jasbre, quit wasting my time!

Matchy: See ya.

SeemsGood: Bye. (Matchy leaves. He clicks on the ‘’buy’’ button on the NES console page.) So, it says it will be here in 2 weeks! Okay, I guess!

(2 weeks later…)

(SeemsGood hears the doorbell ring)

SeemsGood: Coming! Not the other kind! (he opens the door to see the NES in an Amazon box)

SeemsGood: Yes! It’s here! And it’s packaged with Super Mario Bros.!

(2 hours later…)

(SeemsGood is playing Super Mario Bros., when he hears knocking)

SeemsGood: Who is it?

Bong: Bing Bong!

SeemsGood: Come in… I guess. (She comes in)

Bong: Yo, Bot and Jas are going out drinkin’ tonight. Wanna come?

SeemsGood: I don’t know… Where at?

Bong: I dunno, some place called “Drink that F**king Beer”.

SeemsGood: Sounds like a strange place.

Bong: Look, you coming or not? Also if you don’t say yes I’ll piss my pants.

SeemsGood: Ugh, fine. I’ll come.

Bong: Woo! (rushes to SG’s bathroom, and heavy plopping sounds occur)

SeemsGood: (gags)

(Bong comes out of the bathroom)

Bong: Ahh… (SeemsGood immediately pukes all over her) Ew, gross! (starts gagging)

SeemsGood: Oh god. (Bong then pukes all over him) (he pukes on her, and so on)

(Cut to SeemsGood on his computer again, this time buying a Sega Genesis)

SeemsGood: Screw it, I’m buying ten games too! (he clicks on ten games and then clicks “buy”) Now to wait another two weeks!

(Another two weeks later…)

(The doorbell rings again)

SeemsGood: I’ll get it! (opens door to see the Genesis and ten games)

SeemsGood: Woo-hoo! Now to play these bad boys.

(Ten hours later…)

SeemsGood: (looking very tired) Must… play… on… (passes out)

(Purple opens the door)

Purple: Hey SG, can you do a favor for me- oh god! I knew gaming addiction existed… but not this severe! (starts to do CPR on SeemsGood)

SeemsGood: (suddenly waking up) Ew! Ew! Purple, what are you doing here?!

Purple: Saving your life!

SeemsGood: I just passed out, no big deal. I’ve been playing on my new Genesis for ten hours straight.

Purple: Ten hours- go out and do something, please! It’s probably worrying everyone!

SeemsGood: But… my collection!

Purple: SG, just don’t get so addicted to this that you lose your friends. I’m begging you.

SeemsGood: Fine. (turns off Genesis. Then it suddenly turns back on) What the f**k?

Purple: I think it’s a sentient being.

SeemsGood: Ugh, damn you Amazon seller! This thing doesn’t turn off!

Purple: Lemme try something. (Unplugs the system, then the plug magically plugs itself back in and turns on again) What the-

SeemsGood: This can’t be happening!

Purple: Well, it could be worse…

(The Genesis starts producing shockwaves, electrocuting them both)

SeemsGood: What are we going to do?

Purple: Get a refund?

SeemsGood: I think I give up. I will just throw it out in the trash.

(throws it out the window in the trash and guess what? It works.)

SeemsGood: Oh, well, at least it’s not like in these stupid creepypasta stories.

(the Genesis starts making engine noises)

SeemsGood: Since when did I have a car?

Purple: That’s the… Genesis…

SeemsGood: Oh god…

(the Genesis launches itself back into the room and plugs and turns itself on. On the TV screen is a message)

Purple: “To those reading this, it’s too late. You’re already dead…”

SeemsGood: Now it’s like a creepypasta story.

Purple: I have an idea.

SeemsGood: You don’t mean?

Purple: (grabs a hammer out of his pocket) F**k logic.

(He starts bashing the hammer at the Genesis. The screen starts to flicker)

SeemsGood: It’s working.

Purple: (bashes at the system again and again. The screen turns off, but the system is still on) Almost there… (a ghost comes out of the Genesis)

Ghost: F**k this, I’m gonna go possess women’s boobs.

(Purple and SeemsGood look at the destroyed Genesis and then SeemsGood does a death glare to Purple.)

Purple: What?

SeemsGood: You shithead.

Purple: What, why?

SeemsGood: Because a fucking ghost was possessing the goddamn Genesis!

Purple: Oh. (chuckles) Oh shit. (SeemsGood kicks his ass out the window)

SeemsGood: Well, shit. I will send this to the 8-Bit Guy to fix this. (pulls out his cellphone and calls Bong)

(Bong answers)

SeemsGood: Hey, Bong. I wanna drink right now.

Bong: Now that’s the spirit.

(cut to the campers going into a street alley and drinking beer)

Bong: Ahh, this is the shit.

Jasbre: I know right, I can just forget about my goddamn demotion request. (starts chugging) I just had a BRAIN BLAST! Pee isn’t stored in the balls, they’re stored in the liver.

Bot: Hey guys after we are done, let’s go to the Awesome Park! I heard it’s much better than Disney World!

Everyone else: YES!

(they continue drinking. Cut to them going on a ride in the park.)

Pluto: This is gonna be fun!

Bong: Yeah!

(the ride begins)

Jasbre: WEEEEE!!!

Bot: YEAH! YEAH! YEAH! YEAAHHH!

Bong: WOOOO! THIS IS AWESOME!

(Cut to FDBackup near the ride’s controls)

FDBackup: Hehehe…. (pushes the switch the the “UBER FAST” mode, and the ride goes… UBER FAST)

Jasbre: Wait, THIS IS TOO FAST!

Bot: AHHHH!

Bong: I THINK I’M GONNA BARF! (vomits on Bot)

Bot: Ewww! Ugh!

SeemsGood: I’M GONNA SPIT OUT MY FOOD! (vomits on Bong)

Bong: UGH! (vomits on FDBackup)

FDBackup: SHIT! (covers mouth) Excuse my language… hehe…

Matchy: (makes gagging noises while throwing up on Bot)

Bot: (vomiting on SeemsGood) BLEEEHHHHHH!

Red Flanders: (looking at the campers gagging and throwing up) HOLY CRAP! I AM POPULAR! THEY ARE QUOTING ME!

Bot: GOD! THIS WAS A BAD IDEA! (the vomit spews through his nose)

SeemsGood: (still throwing up) EUGGGHHHHH!

(the ride finally stops because an employee came and stopped it. The campers all come out, covered in vomit.)

Bong: Well, that was horrible. I bet this episode would be a good anti-drug PSA.

Jasbre: Yeah. Never… drinking… like that… again… (pukes on Bong’s shoes, and she screams)

SeemsGood: God! Let’s go to our respective cabins and take a shower!

(they all walk away to their cabins. The End.)