Corruption

Corruption is the twenty-second episode of SBFW Quest. It aired August 1, 2019 and was written by FireMatch.

Transcript
(The episode begins with Ian walking with Purps)

Ian: So how are we gonna catch him again?

Purps: For the 576th time, we’re gonna- (they hear a scream in the distance)

Ian: What was that?

Purps: I dunno. Anyway, we’re gonna- (scream again)

Ian: Whoever you are, can you shut your buttholes?

Ingot: NO!

Purps: (gasps) It’s him! The masked man.

Ian: You mean Ingot?

Purps: Same difference.

Ian: Let’s get him.

Purps: Let’s go!

(They run towards Ingot, where he is running towards them)

Purps: Uhh… I don’t have a good feeling about this.

Ian: Don’t pussy out, let’s go!

Purps: Sorry but I’m pussying out! (hides behind a bush)

Ian: Ugh… (he keeps running toward Ingot)

Ingot: So, Ian, we meet again.

Ian: Yes. Now let me pull off your goddamn mas- (gets slapped)

Ingot: That’s no way to treat me. Now, how about we make a deal. You join me, I’ll give you… 10 thousand Meat Puppets albums.

Ian: It’s a goddamn DEAL!

Purple: IAN, NO!

Ian: Too late, they’re ALL MINE!

Ingot: Good, good. Now let’s go vandalize Matchy’s garden.

Ian: With pleasure (they walk off)

Purple: God DAMN IT! WHY?! Ugh, whatever… (mumbles and walks back home)

(When he arrives, Purple continues his theorizing about who Ingot is)

Purple: No, no, no, it can’t be him. He’s too kind and shy. Can’t be him either, he’s too sexually… awkward.

Jasbre: Purple! What the hell has happened to Ian?!

Purple: He got corrupted by Ingot.

Jasbre: HOW?!

Purple: I dunno, bribing with Meat Puppets albums maybe?

Jasbre: Those Meat Puppets albums are too strong. I must destroy them! Not before keeping some to myself, of course.

Purple: Jasbre, now’s not the time for that. It’s time to take down Ingot and find his true identity!

Jasbre: Alright alright, let’s just go throw some money at some ladies, shall we?

Purple: Sounds great. (they walk off)

(One minute later…)

(An unknown intruder breaks into Purple’s house and lights a torch, setting it on fire, including all of his papers and paperwork on the Ingot investigation)

(At Ye Olde Club…)

Jasbre: WOO! GO GIRL!

Purple: She’s hot!

Jasbre: Not as hot as that sucka! (throws more money at the ladies) DAMN THOSE ARE BIG!

Bouncer: Alright, it’s closing time, fellas. Get out.

Purple: Aw man, I wanted to see her take her bra off.

Bouncer: Doesn’t matter. Get out. (they leave)

Purple: Time to work on my Ingot theory- HOLY SHIT! (he sees that his house was burned down) WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED HERE?!

Jasbre: Someone set it on fire?!

Purple: Apparently!

Jasbre: Well shit! I hope he didn’t burn mine down either.

Cici: He burnt mine down! Whoever did this is getting an ass kicking!

Purple: This is bad, really really bad. All that work, gone. And all my shemale fanfics...

Jasbre: Your what?

Purple: Never mind.

(Meanwhile…)

Ingot: What shall we do next?

Ian: Steal all of their weapons?

Ingot: Nah, I already did that yesterday. What we really need to do is murder.

Ian: You don’t say. I’m in!

Ingot: Let’s go murder some bitches...