Not Today, Sir

This is the seventh episode of Patrick's Playground.

(Patrick is staring at the On Sale sign in the space next to his rock)

SpongeBob: Patrick… you okay?

Patrick: Yeah, I think I am.

SpongeBob: What is there to be worried about? Having a new neighbor is always exciting.

Patrick: From what I heard it's always a gamble. Sometimes the neighbor can be like Squidward, or the neighbor can be an evil mastermind who has the evil monkey man in his living room.

SpongeBob: Patrick, that makes no sense. Besides, the evil monkey man was already defeated, remember?

Patrick: Yeah, I guess you're right. But what if they hate Krabby Patties?

SpongeBob: That's impossible, Patrick, even Squidward loves Krabby Patties.

Patrick: True. But what if-

SpongeBob: Patrick, relax. We don’t know if there will actually be a new neighbor next door.

Patrick: YOU don't know that. But I do. My gut is always right, aren't you?

Patrick’s gut: I'm always right, even in the toughest situations!

Patrick: See?

Patrick’s gut: And can we please look at SpongeBob’s underwear aga- (Patrick shuts his gut up)

SpongeBob: Uh, what?

Patrick: Nothing!

(Cut to Patrick building a brick wall in front of the For Sale sign)

SpongeBob: Patrick, do you really think-?

Patrick: Shut it, SpongeBob, I'm concentrating! Now, just one more brick and- (they all topple over) Tartar sauce!

(Cut to Patrick building a barbed wire fence around the space next to him)

SpongeBob: Patrick!

Patrick: What? It's just a little barbed wire, but it's enough to work, I promise. (turns on the electrical wire, electrocuting him in the process) I need a new plan…

(Cut to Patrick guarding the For Sale sign, pacing back and forth)

SpongeBob: Patrick!

Patrick: Yes? What were you gonna say?

SpongeBob: Nothing…

(A moving van appears out of absolutely nowhere and opens up to reveal someone sitting inside it)

Patrick and SpongeBob: The rumors were true!

???: Huh? Who're you guys?

Patrick: Uh, I'm Patrick, your new neighbor… NOT!

SpongeBob: Patrick, that's just rude. I'm SpongeBob.

???: You guys sound familiar.

SpongeBob: So do you.

???: Well, gotta start unpacking. See ya. (The man jumps off of the van and is revealed to be Plankton in a man-sized suit)

Patrick: Something seems odd about this guy, I gotta investigate.

SpongeBob: Patrick, no!

Patrick: I have to, it's my duty. (he runs toward Plankton in disguise and tackles him, removing his disguise) I KNEW IT!

SpongeBob: PATRICK! WHAT ARE YOU- wait, what the barnacles?! Plankton?! But why?

Plankton: (sighs) I was going to get inside your head to get you to give me the formula, that's the whole reason why I moved here. But thanks to this barnacle head, that won't be happening.

SpongeBob: It sure won't. Looks like Patrick was right about the new neighbor after all.

Patrick: Plankton’s not the evil monkey man.

SpongeBob: Yeah, but he's evil, alright.

Plankton: Quit your yapping, I'm moving out, you guys are giving me a headache.

(The moving van is still there, and Plankton packs up his things and leaves)

Patrick: There’s one thing you can learn from this, SpongeBob. Patrick is always right.

(episode ends)