And a Nappy New Year!

(we see SpongeBob in his house watching what appears to be a show about... Stuff, Gary enters)

SpongeBob: Gary! (switches to the sports channel) Hehehe, I was just looking for the sports channel.

Gary: Meow. (we hear a knock at the door and SpongeBob answers0

Sandy: SPONGEBOB! You know those 'exercises' we did last Tuesday?

SpongeBob: Yeah...

Sandy: Well, well... (looks behind her and closes the door) I'M PREGNANT!

SpongeBob: Holy Neptune? I'm gonna be a father!

Sandy: Well, not for long anyway. The baby's gonna be a mutant! We have to get rid of it!

SpongeBob: Can't you build a machine to kill it off?

Sandy: I don't think that's legal. This probably isn't a better idea but I have a machine which will make it grow so much faster and it'll help me give birth NOW! Once born, we have to get rid of it!

SpongeBob: Can't we just kill it?

Sandy: My house is transparent so... yeah.

SpongeBob: Sandy, something just hit me. (we see Robbie Rotten throw a stone through the window) Today's New Year's Eve!

Sandy: (dolphin noise) Come on, we must get to my house. (cut to Sandy's house)

SpongeBob: So where's this 'baby machine'? In my actual house of course. (they go into the living room to see the machine and Sandy lays down on a bench attached to the machine)

Sandy: SpongeBob, can you press the red button and then, I don't know, wait upstairs?

SpongeBob: You got it! (he presses the button and goes upstairs) Wow, Sandy's bedroom looks so (he pauses) perfect! (he looks through the drawers until he gets to the underwear section) Pretending I never saw that...

Sandy: (offscreen) All done! (SpongeBob goes downstairs to see the baby)

SpongeBob: It's beautiful!

Sandy: If it was October, yeah.

SpongeBob: What should we call her?

Sandy: Uhh, I don't think we should name it or-

SpongeBob: Nebby! We'll call it Nebby!

Nebby: Mama!

SpongeBob: Aww, she said her first word!

Sandy: Well, I am a genius. Now, put it in this bag (she holds out a bag)

SpongeBob: Nebby, get into the bag! (he puts Nebby in the bag but she magically teleports out) Nebby, get in the bag! (same thing happens) Nebby. Get. Into. The. Bag. (same thing then SpongeBob rages)

Sandy: SpongeBob, you're over-complicating things. (she puts Nebby in the bag) Now come on!

SpongeBob: Can she breathe in there?

Sandy: Who cares? We're gonna drop her off at the dump.

SpongeBob: Wouldn't it be easier to kill her? (cut to the dump and they dump the bag) Wow, that was easy.

Sandy: It sure was. Now, help me set up the decorations for the new years party when we get home. (they get home to find the bag in the middle of the treedome) WHAT?

SpongeBob: (opens the bag) Hey look, Nebby's in here! (Sandy facepalms then cut to them in Sandy's boat)

Sandy: We're gonna drive as far as we can. When I say go, be ready to throw. Go! (SpongeBob throws the bag on Sandy) Throw it out there not on me! Ugh, let's try something else. (we see a montage of them trying to get rid of it and it fails each time)

SpongeBob: Should we just kill it? (we see a bloody ending card stating 'Happy 2017!')