Coefficient

Transcript
(Episode opens with EB and new co-host, Minecraft Steve talking)

   

EB: So you’re gonna be good?

   

Steve: Yes. I am Steve.

   

EB: Alright, bring in the season two contestants.

   

(The new and returning contestants come in and sit around a table)

   

EB: Welcome to Evicted!

   

Steve: Before we kick off the second season, you will all find a hat underneath your seat. Somebody else will have the same color hat as you, and they will be your partner until the merge.

   

EB: Yeah.

   

(Everyone grabs their hats and pairs up)

   

EB: And for pairs, we have, Sheldon and Spot!

   

Sheldon: Plankton, and hey I’m with my PET.

   

EB: Nice. Alpooh and Hoopla!

   

Alpooh: I’m gonna kill myself.

   

Hoopla: You too?

   

EB: Squidina, a returning contestant, and Squilliam! Poopla and Boxy!

   

Poopla: POOPLA!

   

(Boxy falls over without saying anything)

   

EB: Larry and Don! Granite and Polar! Amaya and The Fifth Doctor! And finally, Bob Ross and Donald Trump!

   

Donald Trump: Oh wow. I heard Mike Pence was in this last season. Was he good without my breast milk?

   

Steve: God here we go.

   

EB: Well let’s waste no time and get to the first challenge.

   

(Camera cuts away from the table and pans over to the new and improved blue challenge room)

   

Steve: So your first challenge is a test.

   

EB: Yes, a written test. You and your partner will work. The pair with the highest score out of 100 questions will be the nominators today.

   

Steve: Are you ready?

   

Amaya: YES.

   

EB: Go!

   

(Everyone sits at a desk with their partners, and begin the test)

   

Donald Trump: Hey the first question is about Mexicans. I know a lot about them.

   

Bob Ross: I’m gonna paint to see if I can find answers.

   

Donald Trump: Amazing.

   

(Camera pans to Squidina and Squilliam)

   

Squidina: So since I’m returning, I think I can help with some of these questions.

   

Squilliam: Like what?

   

Squidina: This one right here about who got 15th place last season.

   

Squilliam: Who was it?

   

Squidina: Zeus.

   

(Camera shows Bob Ross painting, then more people working on the quiz)

   

The Sixth Doctor: Look, we should be done!

   

Amaya: Seems good. Let’s bring it to Steve.

   

Steve: Yes, I’ll collect all quizzes here.

   

(Amaya hands Steve her quiz, and then Donald Trump runs up and hands his in)

   

Donald Trump: (blows raspberry) I did better.

   

(Steve gets more papers, from Granite, Boxy, and Alpooh)

   

Steve: So now only three more duos need to get done.

   

(Squidina runs up and hands in her paper)

   

Steve: So now we’re waiting on Larry and Don, and Sheldon and Spot.

   

Plankton: IT’S PLANKTON! Also, we’re done.

   

(Plankton hands in his paper, and the Camera shows Don very confused)

   

Don: I don’t get it.

   

Larry: You don’t have to get it, just hand in the test and hope for the best.

   

(Don hands in the test)

   

Steve: EB and I will go check these, and then come back with results and the winner.

   

EB: (whispering to Steve) most of these are really shit bad.

   

Steve: Really?

   

EB: Yes. I think that these people had the best however.

   

Steve: Okay then.

   

(Camera pans to the table, where everyone is sitting)

   

EB: So the winners are Plankton and Spot!

   

Steve: Wasn’t I going to announce that?

   

EB: No me. Anyways, now they can nominate two duos to be up for elimination.

   

Plankton: Alright Spot. So, for our first duo we choose Donald Trump and Bob Ross, for obvious reasons.

   

Donald Trump: Oh what the hell you JEW.

   

Plankton: For the second duo we’re nominating, it’s gonna be macho muscle men Don and Larry.

   

Larry: (kisses his bicep) what?

   

Steve: Then that’ll be all. Viewers, in case you’re new, here’s how it goes. You get to choose one of these duos to lose a member in two days.