A Replacement Borg

A Replacement Borg is the tenth episode of the spin-off, Absorbent Days, and the tenth episode of season one. In this episode, in one of Plankton’s schemes to steal the Krabby Patty secret formula, Karen is called to help him when his invention needs repair. Instead of repairing it, Karen accidently ruins it. Plankton blames Karen for the failure. In fact, every failure that occurs he blames on her. Karen decides to leave Plankton and goes to work at the Krusty Krab. Plankton decides to move on as well and makes a new robot, which he names “Replacement Borg”. Replacement Borg helps Plankton with his scheme, only for her to evolve into something unexpected. Will Karen be able to fix this...alone? This episode is paired with Crossover Squid.

Characters

 * Karen Plankton
 * Sheldon J. Plankton
 * SpongeBob SquarePants (cameos)
 * Squidward Tentacles (cameos)
 * Replacement Borg (debut)
 * Customer 1 (speaking part)
 * Eugene Krabs (cameos)

Transcript

 * [scene starts with Plankton in his laboratory, constructing a robot]
 * Plankton: Almost done. [uses blow torch one last time] And....it's a wrap! [throws blow torch away]
 * [Karen walks into laboratory, only for blow torch to hit her monitor]
 * Karen: The next time you [rubs top of monitor] decide to throw one of your expensive items you know you can't afford, leave my monitor out of it.
 * Plankton: Hush, woman! [puts hands to together anxiously] Artwork is being brought to life. [adores as his machine lies on the table; stops adoring] Why isn't this thing working?
 * Karen: If I have to do everything...[walks to machine and flips on the "on" switch]
 * Plankton: [crosses arms] I knew that. [adores as machine rises up and stands on one wheel]
 * Karen: [laughingly] What is this supposed to be? Your next circus act? [begins laughing and holding her support pole]
 * Plankton: [jumps from stool and onto floor; points at Karen] Laugh while you can, computer wife, but see if you can laugh while your jaw will drop when the formula is in my hands! [laughs evilly]
 * Karen: [stops laughing] Need I remind you that your hands aren't big enough to hold the formula?
 * Plankton: [looks at hands] No, not really. Fine! When the formula is in [points at robot] his hands, we'll see who gets the last laugh! [begins to evilly laugh]
 * [scene cuts to Mr. Krabs's office, where he is also laughing]
 * Mr. Krabs: [laughing; reading handbook] I'm so glad that I saw this. Now I can make twice as much money...and not even have to work. [laughs]
 * SpongeBob: [walks into office] Mr. Krabs, is there something wrong in here?
 * Mr. Krabs: On the contrary, me lad. [gestures SpongeBob to come in] Have a seat. There's some great news I have to share with you.
 * SpongeBob: What is it, Mr. Krabs? [both SpongeBob and Mr. Krabs hear loud noise]
 * Mr. Krabs: Forget what I just said. I have some bad news I have to share with you. It's that time of the month again! Man your stations!
 * SpongeBob: Aye aye, sir! [runs back into kitchen and gathers an abundance of spatulas; runs out door yet stops at Squidward] Squidward, man your station!
 * Squidward: [sighs] Oh, what I wouldn't care for a stroll somewhere far away from here right now. [gets out of register and walks lazily under a table]
 * [scene cuts outside where SpongeBob drops the spatula]
 * SpongeBob: It's a code yellow. [throws spatula at locking system of Krusty Krab]
 * [A metal shield runs over the Krusty Krab; the restaurant then proceeds to go underground, where the dent is covered by a metal floor; the metal floor is then guarded by an electric fence]
 * SpongeBob: [quickly builds a spatula fort; suddenly in military uniform] It's time to defeat him right this time!
 * [camera reveals Plankton in a small room, controlling the robot he built]
 * Plankton: [to self] Oh no. The restaurant's under a code yellow. Now I'll never get my hands on the formula. Oh well, I'll just have to get through him. [aloud] You think that you're weaponry can get through this state-of-the-art robot? We'll just have to see.
 * SpongeBob: [readies patty blaster] Do your worst, Plankton!
 * Plankton: With pleasure! [robot begins to fire missiles toward SpongeBob] Avoid this using some patties, Sponge-Fail!
 * SpongeBob: [leaps out of shield with patties in hand] Let's do this! [throws patty similar to a boomerang; patty throws several missiles off course, sending them exploding near Plankton's robot] Only two more. [leaps over missiles and presses the off switches using two fingers; lands on ground]
 * Plankton: When am I going to remember not to put on and off switches on all of my [slams control panel and hits "malfunction" button] inventions! [control panel begins to malfunction; to self] Why do I even need a malfunction button? [presses Karen button] A button I actually need...finally.
 * Karen: [bursts out of Chum Bucket to the robot] I'm here, Plankton. [opens up back of robot and begins fixing wires and diodes]
 * Plankton: Hurry, Karen. I think he's ready to reload!
 * Karen: One more wire, and....done! [takes hands out back and closes door]
 * [Robot catches fire and disentegrates]
 * Plankton: Whoa. [on knees] I let a so-called computer fix a so-called robot, and it catches fire. How could something so smart make such a mistake?
 * Karen: Who are you calling so-called? [blasted into Chum Bucket wall and pinned by Krabby Patty]
 * SpongeBob: [holding Krabby Patty blaster] Anyone else want some? [blasts a Krabby Patty over Plankton] You're plan is over, Plankton.
 * Plankton: [lifts Krabby Patty] No, Sponge-Brat! Your business is over. You just shot the next best thing to the formula at me. The Krabby Patty! [evilly laughs] But speaking of patties, why is this thing so light? [throws patty only for it to break into pieces] Styrofoam. It's all styrofoam!
 * Karen: [breaks from wall] How was I pinned by styrofoam?
 * SpongeBob: All in the days work for....Patty Boy! [presses button on bottom of spatula, sending the Krusty Krab back up on to land]
 * Mr. Krabs: [runs out] Thanks, SpongeBob. You saved me restaurant yet again. Let's celebrate with giving Krabby Patties away for regular price!
 * [SpongeBob and Mr. Krabs walk into Krusty Krab]
 * [camera reveals Plankton looking at them walk in from the Chum Bucket window]
 * Plankton: [walks from window] This is pointless! I'm never going to get the Krabby Patty secret formula! If only my inventions weren't so pointless! [lies on floor, crying]
 * Karen: [sympathetically] Don't beat yourself up, Plankton. You'll get it next time.
 * Plankton: [whispering] No, no I won't. Not as long as [yelling] I have you with me! [stands up] Time after time after treacherous time, you're always there to ruin my plans! All my attempts end in failure [points to Karen] because of you! [surprised] What are you doing?
 * Karen: [passes by camera] Leaving. [places item into suitcase]
 * Plankton: Oh, Karen! Don't take your plasma ray! It's the only thing I might use to help me get the formula. It's the only thing that I have that didn't end in failure.
 * Karen: Only thing? What about me? I actually loved you, Plankton. Not even a minute ago, I sympathetically cradled you....and I have done that a couple of times.
 * Plankton: Well, you do have a few points, I suppose. [points] But you know what would make this more dramatic? If some tears were shed. [on knees; pokes eye, creating tears] Karen, babe. Please don't leave. I'll be a wreck without you. [gives up act] Why aren't you crying?
 * Karen: You know emotion was the only thing you left out of my programming.
 * Plankton: Oh, yeah.
 * Karen: [walks towards door] Goodbye, Plankton.
 * Plankton: Wait, Karen. Where are you going to go?
 * Karen: Somewhere far far away. [walks out the door, crosses street, and walks into the Krusty Krab to register]
 * Squidward: [lazily] Welcome to the Krusty Krab. May I take your...uh...program?
 * Karen: Very funny. I would like one Krabby Patty, hold the cheese, and one job application.
 * Squidward: [writes on order ticket] One Krabby Patty, no cheese...and...a job application? I thought that you worked at that shack at the end of the street.
 * Karen: Formerly.
 * Squidward: [hands application] Fill this out and hand it into...
 * Karen: [interrupts] Yes, thank you. [walks away]
 * Squidward: [scoffs] Computer types. [looks back with order ticket] Sponge...
 * SpongeBob: [looks out window and hits Squidward onto floor with tray] One Krabby Patty with no cheese ready to go. Squidward, what are you doing?
 * Squidward: [stands up] How did you cook the order before I gave you the order ticket?!
 * SpongeBob: If you didn't want me to cook the order yet, then maybe you should stop saying the order out loud. You get such great reception in the kitchen. [points under Squidward's nose] Why is she here?
 * Squidward: [nasally] I ask the same question with you.
 * Karen: All done. [walks to Squidward] Who do I give this to?
 * Squidward: Maybe you shouldn't interrupt me and you would know you give it to Mr...!
 * Karen: [interrupts] Thanks, bye! [walks into Mr. Krabs's office]
 * Squidward: Computer types. [throws SpongeBob back into kitchen] Almost as annoying as sponge types.
 * [scene cuts to Plankton]
 * Plankton: [outside Chum Bucket with telescope, looking at Karen] So I see. She's working at the Krusty Krab, cleaning tables. Drats! [throws down telescope] She going to interfere with my plans! But no matter. I'll create a Karen, better than the original! [opens Chum Bucket door, and looks back at broken telescope] Maybe I should stop throwing things I know I can't afford. [walks into Chum Bucket]
 * [scene cuts to Plankton's laboratory]
 * Plankton: [uses screwdriver to screw on frame] It's complete! [closes eyes] Now arise, my creation! Arise so that you can help me steal the formula! [opens eyes] Oh, yeah. [presses on button]
 * [Silver robot arises with white arms, a black suspension pole, a circular monitor and head, and four wheels on the bottom]
 * Robot: I am Robot 2X-P9 Replacement 2.0. I am here to serve Sheldon James Plankton.
 * Plankton: In the flesh, Robot 2P...uh...you know what! You have a new name. I shall now refer to you as "Replacement Borg"!
 * Replacement Borg: Yes, Master Plankton.
 * Plankton: I think I can get used to that. [hops into an opening in the monitor where the control panel is located] Onward to the Krusty Krab, Replacement Borg. We have some unfinished business there.
 * [scene cuts to Krusty Krab]
 * Karen: [picks up tray and throws in onto ground; proceeds to wipe table] It would be easier to wipe these tables if people didn't leave trash on them.
 * Customer 1: Actually, that was my food.
 * Karen: Like I said: It would be easier to wipe these tables if people didn't leave trash on them. [wood falls onto table] See, like that. [looks up to see Plankton on top of Replacement Borg]
 * Squidward: Someone's going to have to pay for that, you know!
 * Plankton: Then you better get your wallet out. [Replacement Borg leaps onto floor and walks to Karen]
 * Karen: What the problem, sir? [looks back; gasps] So this is my replacement, huh, Plankton? A robot with an off switch? [presses off switch]
 * Plankton: [presses on switch quickly] Calm down with that, Karen! If she gets on off mode for too long, she'll self destruct!
 * Karen: Just another function you don't need.
 * Plankton: You might be right on that, but wait until you see this! [presses button and Replacement Borg breaks into Mr. Krabs's office]
 * Mr. Krabs: [screams in fear] You get out of me restaurant right now! SpongeBob, call the police!
 * SpongeBob: [heard from other room] I already have them on the phone, Mr. Krabs.
 * Replacement Borg: Put the phone down, square one named SpongeBob SquarePants.
 * SpongeBob: Too late, Plankton! The police are already here! I think. When did they say they would be here? [reaches for the phone]
 * Replacement Borg: [disentegrates phone] You'll never know! By the time they get here, you and Krusty Krab will already be obliterated!
 * Plankton: [evilly laughs; revealed to be speaking into microphone and voice modifier] Or at least until I get the formula.
 * Replacement Borg: [obliterates the safe, revealing the formula] Thanks for making this easy, Krabs.
 * Mr. Krabs: Oh no you don't, Plankton! [leaps onto Replacement Borg]
 * [scene cuts to outside of Krusty Krab, where a loud commotion is heard; Replacement Borg is revealed to walk out with the formula]
 * Plankton: Krabs can be quite agressive. Who knew? [drives into Chum Bucket] Well, at least I got the formula to the Krabby Patty. It's mine! [hops out of Replacement Borg] It's finally mine!
 * Replacement Borg: Yes, you're right. [takes formula] It is finally mine. [whacks Plankton out of Chum Bucket, causing the alternating doors to open and close] You don't deserve this formula. [doors close and open inside out] That's why I have it now. [closes and opens the other way] And I know just what to do with it. [closes and opens inside out; Replacement Borg disappears]
 * Plankton: Well this is unexpected. Who do I go to now? [Replacement Borg's arm comes back out Chum Bucket and grabs Plankton]
 * [scene cuts to Karen, inside Mr. Krabs's office]
 * Karen: All I did was throw trash of the table to wipe it off. It was nothing but trash, or as you call it, food.
 * Mr. Krabs: How dare you insult the name of the Krusty Krab? [throws Karen out of Krusty Krab] And don't bother coming back, Mrs. Karen. [slams down]
 * Karen: Now what do I do? I have only Plankton to turn to, and that's an insult to myself. [grabbed by Replacement Borg's arm]
 * [scene cuts to the Chum Bucket, where Replacement Borg has tied up Plankton and Karen]
 * Replacement Borg: Now that I have all of you tied up, and I have the formula to myself, I now have the ability to take over the world!....Or at least the city! [rides into laboratory]
 * Karen: [cuts self out of rope] It's time to handle this robot once and for all!
 * Plankton: But Karen, you can't face her alone.
 * Karen: I'm making my own decisions now, Plankton. And I think that the best thing to do is to save our skins. [leaps into laboratory] Halt, Replacement Borg.
 * Replacement Borg: Too late! I've already harnessed the energy of the formula. There's nothing you can do about it now. [evilly laughs]
 * Karen: That's what you think. [flips and lands on Replacement Borg] Time to shut you down. [presses the "off" button]
 * Plankton: No! [rips out of rope] Karen, this thing could blow up any second. What are you doing?
 * Karen: The right thing! [runs out of Chum Bucket with Replacement Borg and presses button on Krusty Krab] Time to do this. [allows the metal floor to go over Krusty Krab and then throws Replacement Borg onto metal floor]
 * Karen: Three, two, one. [Replacement Borg explodes]
 * Plankton: [steps toward Karen apologetically] Karen, I'm sorry the way I acted toward you. I should have been more appreciative, and I...
 * Karen: Blah blah blah. I love you too. [hugs Plankton; walks toward Chum Bucket with Plankton in palm]
 * Plankton: So, why did you decide to come back to me?
 * Karen: It's a long story.
 * Plankton: Got fired?
 * Karen: Yep?
 * [episode ends]