Patrick Is Not Smarter Than a Fifth Grader

Patrick Is Not Smarter Than a Fifth Grader is an episode of The Silly Adventures of Patrick Star.

Transcript
Jeff Foxworthy: Welcome to Are You Smarter Than a Fifth Grader! Let's welcome tonight's contestant, from Bikini Bottom, Pacific Ocean, Earth, Patrick Star!

(The crowd goes wild.)

Patrick: Thank you, thank you.

Jeff Foxworthy: Now, me and my mustache want you to win a lot of money tonight, so here's how it's gonna go down. You pick a category, answer the question behind that category, and listen to my stale redneck jokes.

Patrick: Okay. I'll choose first grade geography.

(Jeff Foxworthy reads the question as it appears on the giant screen above them.)

Jeff Foxworthy: "This state is commonly associated with Kentucky Fried Chicken."

Patrick: Seattle!

Jeff Foxworthy: One: Seattle isn't a state. Two: You're an idiot.

(The crowd laughs.)

Jeff Foxworthy: Tell him what he's won, announcer!

Announcer: You win ABSOLUTELY NOTHING! GET OUT OF MY SIGHT!

Patrick: Don't I at least win the board game!

Announcer: No, but since we're nice, we'll give you a board, an actual wooden board.

(An attractive woman in a sparkly dress gives the wooden board to Patrick.)

Patrick: I'll never get bored with this board! Get it? The pun?

Jeff Foxworthy: Leave the horrible jokes to me, starfish.

(What a twist!)