Live And Drive (ADWSS Transcript)


 * [The episode opens with SpongeBob at Mrs. Puff’s Boating School. We see SpongeBob in a boat taking his driving test. Mrs. Puff looks worried]
 * Mrs. Puff: Oh no! [They drive around a corner] AHHHHHH!!
 * [SpongeBob does it perfectly]
 * SpongeBob: Easy there….
 * Mrs. Puff: Huh? [They drive through a tunnel] No not again!!
 * [SpongeBob does it perfectly]
 * SpongeBob: Carefully…..
 * Mrs. Puff: I don’t believe it!! [They drive into a roundabout] Help me!!
 * [SpongeBob does it perfectly]
 * SpongeBob: Aha!
 * Mrs. Puff: Dear neptune………….
 * [They park successfully]
 * SpongeBob: So Mrs. Puff. How did it do? [Mrs. Puff is in a trance] Um….Mrs. Puff? [Mrs Puff won’t speak] Hello…...Mrs. Puff?
 * [Mrs. Puff faints]
 * SpongeBob: Ohh…….
 * [Scene fades to the classroom]
 * Mrs. Puff: I am proud to announce that SpongeBob SquarePants is now a successful driver after passing his test so well! Congratulations SpongeBob!
 * SpongeBob: Hurray!!!! And since you’re such all great friends i am going to give you a report on why i accept this license…...
 * Mrs. Puff: [Interrupting] SpongeBob i don’t think this is ne….
 * SpongeBob: [Interrupting] Nonsense!
 * Mrs. Puff: Looks like we're gonna have to wait a while before we can leave class Ladies and Gentleman……
 * Narrator: [With time card] 3 hours later…..
 * SpongeBob: And so in conclusions i humbly accept this boating license with power…..and pride!
 * Mrs. Puff: Thank you spo….
 * SpongeBob: [Interrupting] And also dignity!
 * Mrs. Puff: Thank yo…..
 * SpongeBob: [Interrupting] But it’s not that though….
 * Mrs. Puff: [Interrupting] That’s enough now SpongeBob, thank you!!
 * SpongeBob: But we didn’t even get to the best…..
 * Mrs. Puff: [Interrupting] That’s enough!!!! Please sit down!
 * [SpongeBob walks to his seat and sits on it. The bell rings and everyone rushes out]
 * SpongeBob: Now that i have my license i must do something!
 * [Scene fades to the Bikini Bottom Extreme Derby]
 * Patrick: “The Bikini Bottom Extreme Derby. Full of crash, smash and extreme pain. Tickets on sale now”? SpongeBob have you lost your mind!?
 * SpongeBob: Only a fool would do that. This is for the real drivers like me.
 * Patrick: I know but it took your 10 years to finally pass your test!
 * SpongeBob: And now i did. So this is the answer to my problems.
 * Patrick: I still think you have lost your mind.
 * SpongeBob: You mean YOU have! Any fool would back out of this.
 * Patrick: Actually anyone who ENTERS is a fool!
 * SpongeBob: Actually you need to shut up. I’m entering whether you like it or not.
 * [They proceeded to the sign up desk]
 * Woman: If you’re looking for the ticket booth then it’s over by the vending machine.
 * SpongeBob: Actually i’m going to sign up for the derby.
 * [The woman laughs loudly]
 * Woman: Kid i think you’re looking for the Junior Derby next door. I think that’s more your isle.
 * SpongeBob: [Unhappy] Just give me the forms!
 * Woman: [Hands forms to SpongeBob] Anyone who enters is a fool so i don’t see why you even bother.
 * Patrick: Hey that’s what i said!
 * SpongeBob: Im now deemed the best driver by Mrs. Puff so i don’t even need to give a reason on why i should enter.
 * Patrick: I keep on telling you SpongeBob! You’re crazy!
 * [SpongeBob and Patrick walk to the stadium]
 * SpongeBob: Patrick your words of wisdom will not stop me from entering! If you want to complain then fine but it’s getting you nowhere!
 * Patrick: No this is getting you nowhere!
 * SpongeBob: Patrick if i win this not only will i be the best driver yet! I will be the champion winner!
 * [SpongeBob get’s in a massive car]
 * Patrick: This is your last chance. If you don’t back down then you can’t say “I told you so!”
 * SpongeBob: Well YOU can’t say it anyways. Not after i win especially.
 * Patrick: *Sigh* Better find a new best friend……..
 * Announcer: Good even Ladies and Gentlemen and welcome to this years Bikini Bottom Extreme Derby! The place to get some crash, smash and whiplash! Let’s meet our contenders! From all the way from New Kelp City it’s 5 time champion winner David Sardine! [Applause is heard]
 * Narrator: [With time card] 10 minutes later…..
 * Announcer: Now for the final contestant. New to the group from Bikini Bottom, Pacific Ocean is SpongeBob Weakpants!
 * SpongeBob: Hey!!
 * Announcer: Gentleman start your engines!
 * [Engines start to roar]
 * SpongeBob: Oh yeah!
 * David: Get ready to be trashed “Weakpants”. Hahahahaha!!
 * Announcer: And get ready……..In 3…..2…...1…..GOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!
 * [SpongeBob drives his car forward]
 * SpongeBob: Ha i will totally ace this……
 * Narrator: [With time card] 3 hours later…..
 * [Scene fades to the Bikini Bottom Hospital with SpongeBob on the hospital]
 * Patrick: SpongeBob i told you in the simplest and straightforward way. I don’t understand why you never listened to me.
 * SpongeBob: I know i should have listen to you. I’m sorry Patrick i must of got carried away. Please forgive me.
 * Patrick: It’s ok SpongeBob. I just got one thing to say to you.
 * SpongeBob: What?
 * Patrick: I TOLD YOU SO!!!!!
 * SpongeBob: You like doing that don’t you…….
 * Patrick: Yeah.
 * SpongeBob: I wonder how Mrs. Puff is doing?
 * [Scene cut’s to Mrs. Puff dancing with balloons and streamers to a record player]
 * Mrs. Puff: [Sarcastically] I suddenly miss SpongeBob. He was my favourite pupil but when he left…….I wouldn't of cared less! Ha! I love it when he’s not around! Happy - no SpongeBob day everyone!!
 * [She continues dancing. The scene fades to black and the credits roll]