Artificial Dumbtelligence

Note: everything in bold is by me, everything normal is by AI

Transcript
(Episode starts with Hoopla walking around town, when Boopla comes up to him)

 

Hoopla: Oh hey Boopla!

 

Boopla: Yeah, did you hear about the new invention Doclement made?

 

Hoopla: No. What is it?

 

Boopla: It’s an ai that does stuff for you!

 

Hoopla: Oh cool, let me try it.

 

Boopla: Here.

 

(Boopla gives Hoopla a button, and Hoopla presses it)

 

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

 

Boopla: This is where I send you things. Things that you need.

 

Hoopla: So you're a machine that gives you stuff?

 

Boopla: Oh no, I’m a service.

 

Hoopla: Oh, okay.

 

Boopla: Here's your things:

 

(Hoopla puts on a suit and opens the door to Doclement's office)

 

Doclement: I- Um, what are you doing here?

 

'''Hoopla: WHAT JUST HAPPENED? I HATE SUITS GET THIS OFF ME!'''

 

'''Doclement: Uh, I don’t know. What’s the last thing you remember?'''

 

Hoopla: I remember Boopla gave me your new invention which was a button, and I pressed it.

 

'''Doclement: Oh no, my invention must have a glitch! Do you still have it on you?'''

 

Hoopla: Yeah (hands it to Doclement)

 

Doclement: Let’s see what happens (press the button)

 

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

 

Doclement: Ahhhhhh...

 

Hoopla: I have the power to turn anything into a button!

 

Doclement: Oh no... I think I screwed it.

 

(The two go out and try out their new invention.)

 

Doclement: You’re not going to get this back, right?

 

Hoopla: I'm going to make you pay for it!

 

(Doclement is the one to notice the bug)

 

'''Hoopla: Woah, that was weird. And why is there a lot of button objects?'''

 

'''Doclement: I think I know what the problem is. My invention somehow interacts with reality, and messes everything up when you press it. Who could be behind this?'''

 

Hoopla: I have an idea

 

(They go visit Alpooh’s cell)

 

Alpooh: What do you guys want?

 

(Hoopla pulls out the button)

 

Alpooh: OOH A BIG SHINY BUTTON!

 

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

 

Doclement: And that's my fault. You are in here for a very specific reason. You've been caught trying to steal something. I want you to take this to Alpooh and tell him we've made a deal and he can take it.

 

Alpooh: I'm not going to take it from you!

 

Doclement: But you're the one in jail and you need this!

 

Alpooh: Don't threaten me with a huge, shiny, red button! I'm not going to break any laws!

 

Doclement: But Al- Ugh, you pressed it!

 

Alpooh: Wha-

 

Hoopla: I guess he didn’t do it.

 

Doclement: Now what do we do?

 

Hoopla: Maybe the way to solve the problem is to let loose and have the button take us, wherever!

 

'''Doclement: Well, I’m out of options. Button, take us anywhere in the world to fix the glitch!'''

 

(He presses the button)

 

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

 

Alpooh: I thought we’ll find it first!

 

(Alpooh gets sucked into the void)

 

Doclement: We're on a collision course!

 

(All the buttons press simultaneously and the whole planet is sucked into a black hole)

 

Hoopla: Well...crap.

 

'''Doclement: I think it might be a metaphor. Us being sucked into the void represents the answer! We have to destroy the button!'''

 

Hoopla: And how will we do that?

 

'''Doclement: We press the button one last time, right now, in the void. There will be nothing to change, it will implode.'''

 

Hoopla: We've got nothing to lose!

 

(They both press the button)

 

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

 

Hoopla: (as the planet collapses into the void) We've done it, we've destroyed the button.

 

Doclement: There was a small pocket of resistance, but it's no longer a problem. We have reached the core of the button.

 

Hoopla: I didn't know that was possible. The core?

 

Doclement: The core...of the button.

 

Hoopla: The core is...

 

BOOM

 

Hoopla: Are we alive?

 

'''Doclement: Yes. We did it.'''

 

Hoopla: Don’t make any dangerous inventions again.

 

Doclement: I’ll try not to.

 

(end)