Presidential Peril

Presidential Peril is the third short of the spin-off, Absorbent Days, and the third short of season one. In this short, all of Bikini Bottom is celebrating the holiday of King Patrick's Day. This holiday celebrates King Patrick II successfully led Bikini Bottom against the Trenchbillies in the War of the Trenchbillies. After Patrick inadvertently saves a child from a fire, he is rumored to be in the bloodline of King Patrick II for his heroism. This rumor is then thought of as truth, and Patrick becomes the King of Bikini Bottom...but will it last?

Transcript

 * [episode begins with a festival in Downtown Bikini Bottom; thousands of fish are holding up pictures of a starfish with a red robe; others are holding up a large sign saying "Happy King Patrick's Day" spelled out with pieces of coral]
 * SpongeBob: [holding box of confetti; begins throwing multi-colored confetti down onto the streets; sighs in relief] Nothing like messing up the street with confetti [looks down at Gary] while riding on your favorite snail in the whole sea.
 * Gary: [meows flattered] Meow.
 * SpongeBob: [rubs Gary's shell] Whoa! Look at that! The crowd's really inflating! Soon, this crowd is going to flood this place out. [SpongeBob and Gary are trampled by a large crowd of people running by]
 * Patrick: [camera cuts to Patrick, marching through the crowd, holding up a sign] I've had this sign for three hours straight and I don't even know the...uh...thing is says. [looks at sign saying "Happy King Patrick's Day!"] I used to be a king? How come I never knew about this? [angrily] I should call my father! [begins dialing on cellphone; drops sign]
 * Fish: Hey!
 * SpongeBob: [crawls onto sidewalk, holding Gary] Now that was a close one, huh, Gary?
 * Gary: [in shock] Meow.
 * SpongeBob: [blinded by LED display saying "Happy King Patrick's Day"] Whoa. Everyone really is getting into this holiday. I remember the story as if my father told me to it fifteen years ago...for it was. [flashback begins]
 * [scene cuts to Harold SquarePants, placing a young SpongeBob on his lap]
 * Harold SquarePants: Do you want to hear about the story of King Patrick, SpongeBob?
 * SpongeBob: Oh, dad. You know I love a good story time.
 * Harold SquarePants: Alright, then. One morning, a group of unruly people came to Bikini Bottom. They began throwing litter on the street, throwing rocks at windows, and commiting ding-dong-ditches! One man was tired of this. He was King Esquire Richard Anthony Patrick II, named after his father. He wasn't going to put up with it anymore.
 * SpongeBob: Then what happened, daddy?
 * Harold: He gathered up his best warriors and sent them out to war. The battle was fierce, yet Bikini Bottom won its right...[flashback ends; scene cuts back to present day]
 * SpongeBob: [continues]...to put the Trenchbillies under the sea bed. Oh, great historical times, huh, Gary.
 * Gary: [rolls eyes] Meow.
 * [scene cuts to Patrick, carrying the LED sign]
 * Patrick: [carries sign] Happy King Patrick's Day! Happy...uh...King Patrick's Day! [LED displays hits building; sparks fire] Ooo! Pretty light.
 * Male Fish 1: Fire! Evacuate the parade! Fire! [thousands of fish run from the scene]
 * Child Fish: [from building] Help! I'm trapped! [looks at watch] Looks like it's time to jump. Someone hold out their arms!
 * Patrick: Where's that coming from? [holds out arms] Like this? [catches child fish]
 * [Crowd erupts with cheers]
 * Male Fish 2: Mr. Star! You have saved my child! Thank you so much! Here! Take a dollar! [gives Patrick a dollar; takes child; walks away]
 * [Crowd erupts with the chant of the word "Patrick"]
 * SpongeBob: [runs to Patrick] Congratulations, buddy! You're a hero now!
 * Patrick: [stars appear in eyes] A hero?! [stars disappear] What's that?
 * [scene cuts to a supermarket; Patrick walks by two female fish]
 * Female Fish 1: Did you see that? It's Patrick the Hero.
 * Female Fish 2: Patrick the Hero?! He's the guy that saved my best friend's cousin's daughter's nephew's sister.
 * Female Fish 1: I know. He's a hero, that Patrick.
 * Female Fish 2: Hmm...Patrick. [snaps fingers] He reminds me of King Patrick.
 * Female Fish 1: You're right. He did [begins walking with Female Fish 2 down aisle] do a heroic act...just like King Patrick II did! They must be related.
 * [scene cuts Patrick's house, where Patrick is about to enter his rock]
 * Patrick: [approaches rock] Hmm...I guess I should knock first. It's the proper thing to do. [raises fist to knock; rock opens with a fish in a suit inside]
 * Male Fish 3: Are you Mr. Patrick Star?
 * Patrick: Who wants to know? [looks around] Is it the tax collector? If it is, I don't live here!
 * Male Fish 3: No, Mr. Star! It's about you...being the town's hero. The Council of Bikini Bottom has decided to make you honorary King of Bikini Bottom. [places crown on Patrick's head]
 * Patrick: King?! What's that?
 * [scene cuts to Patrick, sitting in a throne, drinking a soda]
 * Patrick: [sips soda] This is the life. [throws soda onto floor] It just started a half an hour ago.
 * Male Fish 4: Sir, sir! I have received a terrible note! The trenchbillies have plotted another war!
 * Male Fish 4: Oh. [thinking] What should I do? What should I do?!
 * Servant: [sighs] Send out the military?! Yes, sir!
 * [scene cuts to montage of a battle with the Trenchbilles; the land of Bikini Bottom wins once again]
 * Male Fish 4: [bows down to Patrick] You have saved our town once again, Mr. Star. The town now bestows upon you...this silver crown. [holds up silver crown]
 * City Council Fish: Wait a minute! Don't give him that! The police have run an investigation! It turns out that Mr. Star is the reason for the fire! He is no King at all!
 * Patrick: [crown is revoked; looks down] Oh well. [smiles and looks up] Only one thing to do. [calls father on cellphone] So this is how I lost my last king job, huh?! [yelling heard on phone] Don't you use that tone of voice with me!
 * [end of episode]