Pretend King For A Day (ADWSS Transcript)

(Scene: Royal Thrones Of The Atlantic Ocean)

King Neptune: (sitting in throne) Man, I'm bored.

Queen Aqua: Yeah.

(suddenly, a red alert goes off, scaring the king and queen)

Robber: (running, with a money bag) Ha ha ha! (grabs the king and runs out with him, rushing through Jellyfish Fields, where the king's crown falls off)

SpongeBob: (comes in scene with Patrick) What a great day for jellyfishing!

Patrick: Yeah!

SpongeBob: (notices crown) Oooh, how pretty! (puts the crown on)

Queen Aqua: There you are, Neptune! I was worried for a second there! (takes SpongeBob to the Royal Thrones)

(Scene: Royal Thrones)

Queen Aqua: Is there anything I could do for you, king?

SpongeBob: Um, Mrs. Aqua, I'm actually not the-

Patrick: (comes in the door) Oh hi, King Neptune. (winks at SpongeBob)

SpongeBob: Um, could I have a private word with Patrick, Mrs. Aqua?

Queen Aqua: Sure.

(SpongeBob and Patrick go to a corner)

SpongeBob: Listen Patrick, I'm actually SpongeBob, and-

Patrick: I know. I came in before you said that to Queen Aqua.

SpongeBob: Why?

Patrick: SpongeBob, c'mon. Wouldn't it be fun to pretend king for a day?

SpongeBob: You're right!

Patrick: But I'll tell them, unless you make me royalty too.

SpongeBob: Okay.

(SpongeBob and Patrick go away from the corner)

SpongeBob: Honey, I would like to promote Patrick to head chef!

Queen Aqua: Okay.

Patrick: So, does a head chef eat food, make food, or both?

SpongeBob: Make food.

Patrick: You could have told me that earlier!

SpongeBob: Just make food. (Patrick goes to the kitchen)

Messenger: (runs in the room) Sir, do you remember the theif who tried to kidnap you and stole some of our money? We've got to go stop him!

SpongeBob: As long as I can bring along my head chef....

Patrick: (offscreen) Wait, so does make mean eat, or create?

SpongeBob: (sighs) Create, Patrick.

Patrick: Oh barnacles!

Messenger: Okay. Where did you last see the robber?

SpongeBob: Jellyfish Fields.

Messenger: Okay, you and food-boy go off there!

(Scene: Jellyfish Fields)

Patrick: SpongeBob, this isn't part of our plan! C'mon, I mean, since when does the KING have to do anything? I don't wanna do work!

SpongeBob: Patrick, maybe we should tell them the truth.

Patrick: But then we won't be able to do the fun stuff! C'mon, we've gotta keep up with this!

SpongeBob: Patrick, I'm just feeling guilty, lying to the royalty.

Patrick: Me too.

SpongeBob: But we still will track down that robber!

Patrick: Yeah!

SpongeBob: Let's search! (walks around, and steps on some paper) Huh? (reads text from paper) I'm being trapped by a robber, going to Kelp City, HELP!

Patrick: Aha! So he's in the Kelpo Cereal (TM) producing factory!

SpongeBob: No, he's in New Kelp City!

Patrick: What tells you that? Can you magically tell where he is with your mind? I'm gonna try to find the nearest can of seanut brittle with my mind! (inhales, then attempts to use his mind to find it, but unfortunately, a fuse appears on his head, and when his head explodes, a realistic explosion clip appears)

SpongeBob: (burnt) Ow. Let's just report our findings to the royalty.

(Scene: Royal Thrones)

Messenger: (standing by door, talking to the queen) Isn't it a lovely day?

Queen Aqua: Yes it is, Luis.

Luis: I wonder how the king and chef are doing.

Queen Aqua: Yeah, I really kind of do wonder where they-

SpongeBob: (quickly opens door, which smacks Luis in the face, causing him to jump onto Queen Aqua, causing them both to fall to the floor) We have returned! And our sources suggest we go to New Kelp City!

Patrick: MY sources suggest we should go to the kitchen. (tummy rumbles)

Luis: Thank you for the information, king. Wait, can I call you king, or do you prefer Neptune?

SpongeBob: (begins to talk nervously and quickly) Um, king, please, but um, that doesn't mean I'm not Neptune! But I'm not Neptune, I mean I am Neptune, yeah either is fine, heh heh..... phew.

Luis: Okay...... have fun!

SpongeBob: (exits door with Patrick) Patrick, I'm thinking we shouldn't be doing this. It's wrong to lie!

Patrick: But it's fun!

SpongeBob: Ten clams say it's wrong.

Patrick: Nine thousand and one clams say it's right!

SpongeBob: Well, prepare to be broke!

(Scene: New Kelp City)

SpongeBob: Here we are!

Luis: Yep.

Patrick: Why are you here?

SpongeBob: I called the queen and him here for help.

Luis: Are you the one that's been making the food? It's delicious! Thanks, chef!

Patrick: Chef, yeah, that's what I am that's totally what I am yeah. Heh heh.

Luis: (confused) Yeah....

Queen Aqua: Guys, that building is where the robber is! (points to a building)

Patrick: What tells you that?

(camera reveals a neon sign, tilting left and right, reading "Hidden Robber Base!")

Queen Aqua: That.

Patrick: What?

SpongeBob: Let's go. (enters the base with his friends, to discover the thief and the real king across the room, the real king is tied up on a chair) Aha! I've got you right where I want you, THIEF!

Queen Aqua: If you're the king..... then who is that?

SpongeBob: I.... I have a confession to make. I'm not the real king. He is.

(Queen Aqua and Luis are shocked)

SpongeBob: Patrick, you keep them busy. I've got a king to save.

Patrick: Waffles! (shoves the queen and Luis out the door) Wanna see me do the polka?

Luis: Um...

Patrick: (begins to do the polka dance, as polka music plays)

(Scene: SpongeBob and the Robber)

Robber: You ain't got any chance o' gettin' yo cash back, kiddo. Prepare to die. (shoots bullet at SpongeBob)

SpongeBob: (camera cuts to the perspecitve of the bullet, showing SpongeBob in shock, the camera then cuts behind SpongeBob, who leans backwards, dodging the bullet, and spirals up facing the robber, holding the bullet, which he flicks out of his fingers onto a wall)

Robber: (in shock, drops gun and puts his hands up, to surrender)

SpongeBob: (slowly walks to the king, and unties him and takes him out the door, but before he leaves, he pretends his fingers are a gun, and pretend-shoots at the robber, making the robber faint)

Patrick: (now doing a Hawaiian dance) Coconut, cocount, co-o-o-o-o-o-oconut!

Queen Aqua: MAKE IT STOP!

SpongeBob: I've got the king!

Neptune: Thank you for rescuing me, SpongeBob! I really don't know what would have happened if you hadn't-

Patrick: Yeah, yeah, blah blah blah, happy ending, whatever. Bye. (walks away with SpongeBob)

(Scene: Conch Street)

SpongeBob: So, Patrick, I believe that it was wrong to lie after all.

Patrick: Yeah.

SpongeBob: (slyly smiles) You said it.

Patrick: Huh?

SpongeBob: I won the bet! Ha ha ha! 9,001 clams please!

Patrick: I can't pay that!

SpongeBob: Why?

Patrick: I'll tell you why. Because it's OVER NINE THOUSAND!

(episode abruptly ends)

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