The Name Game

The Name Game is the pilot episode of the spin-off, Sworn to Secrecy, and the first episode of season one. In this episode, the ERGBB are informed by a commercial that the government needs people to legally change their names to specific code names. The ERGBB do not find this to be very suitable for society, so the team investigates this sudden change in policy. Yet, the epidemic they find themselves in is more than what they bargained for.

Characters

 * Agent SpongeBob SquarePants (debut)
 * Agent Squidward Tentacles (debut)
 * Agent Sandy Cheeks (debut)
 * Agent Patrick Star (debut)
 * Oscar Stonefish (debut)
 * Brandon Bass (debut)
 * Miscellaneous Fish
 * Commercial Announcers
 * Announcer

Transcript

 * [camera begins with a long shot of Bikini Bottom; camera pans in to reveal numerous fish conversing while walking down the sidewalk; camera pans to reveal a fish to chew into a sandwich; camera pans to reveal a traffic jam with numerous boats honking their horns; camera lastly pans to reveal the ERGBB agency; scene cuts to Squidward, inside of his dorm room in the agency, watching television]
 * Squidward: [squints eyes; yawns] I'm getting tired. [stretches] Better stay awake. Wouldn't want to fall asleep on the job. [smirks] Oh, wait. Yes. [yawns; stretches; lies down on couch] Yes, I do. [begins snoring; exhales] This was a good plan. [snores; exhales] This was a good plan.
 * Oscar: [is seen on the ground in camouflage; rises; whispers] Why do they always sleep on the first day of the week? [yells] Agent Tentacles!
 * Squidward: [snores; exhales] I think I hear my annoying boss now.
 * Oscar: [mumbling in surprise] Annoy...?! Why that...[floats to clarinet on desk] Let's see if I'm annoying when I play a squeaky note. Wait, did I just answer my own question? [shrugs fins; plays squeaked note, waking Squidward]
 * Squidward: [rises abruptly; falls to ground; quickly speaking] Huh? What? I hear no talent? Who's insulting my clarinet with their fowl notes? [normally speaking; looks at floating clarinet] Oh no. My nightmare has come true. My clarinet has decided to taunt me with my own playing. [clenches fists] Why can't I just assault everyone else's eardrums?
 * Oscar: [comes out of camoflauge] Agent Tentacles. Show some respect for the job. When was the last time you hadn't slept on a Monday?
 * Squidward: The real question should be when have I not slept on the job. [leans back on couch]
 * Oscar: And when was the last time when you have not slept on the job?
 * Squidward: Good question, Oscar. [places hands behind head] Good question.
 * Oscar: [floats around sofa] You know, Squidward. You remind of a young recruit I used to have a few years ago. He was so uptight, he even refused to be refuseful. [smiles] That was his best trait. He got quite a bit of work done with that trait.
 * Squidward: [yawns] If there's a moral to this story, can we skip to it? [looks at watch] I only have fifteen minutes left on my break.
 * Oscar: Correction, Agent Squidward. Your break was up fifteen minutes ago.
 * Squidward: One second. [adjusting watch] Actually...my break just started. [nasally laughs; leans back in couch]
 * Oscar: [to self] Why would I give the laziest agent at this company a watch that switch back all of the clocks in the agency?
 * Squidward: I heard that. [points to ears, revealing wireless earbuds] These sound-enhancing earbuds you gave me really work.
 * Oscar: I really have to watch what I give to people. [floats with remote in hand] Why don't you make yourself useful and monitor the security footage? [throws remote at Squidward; begins exiting room; turns around] Oh, and how much do you want me to dock your pay?
 * Squidward: Hmm...[scratches chin] surprise me. [chuckles; turns to television and monitors footage; yawns] Well, this is boring. Nothing ever happens here. What's there to monitor? [hits remote in anger; causes television to turn to regular TV] Whoa. What just happened? [looks at remote] Wow. This button changes the television from closed-circuit boringness to SquidTV on demand. [laughs excitedly; changes back to security footage and then back to regular television] Ooh. My day shows. [leans back]
 * Television: We'll be right back after these extremely lengthy messages that you care nothing about.
 * Squidward: [grunts] Oh, why?!
 * Commercial: I'm sure that several fish in the sea have a variety of names. But...what exactly is a name?
 * Squidward: It's a word your boss calls you that should not be mentioned.
 * Commercial: Wrong, mysterious squid.
 * Squidward: Wait, what?
 * Commercial: To us, it is an acronym. To us, name is Not A Meaningful Ethic.
 * Squidward: Ethics? What do [air quotes] "they" know about ethics?
 * Commercial: I'm glad you asked, mysterious squid.
 * Squidward: How does it know...?
 * Commercial: Name smame. Or should it be name...shame?! Names are titles given to classify people as being different! As the government now finds it, names should be given to classify people as a whole, not apart.
 * Squidward: [leans in] Interesting.
 * [scene cuts to SpongeBob, in his office space, continuously rolling back and forth in his roller chair to answer ringing phones]
 * SpongeBob: [picks up phone] You have called the ERGBB company, please hold. [picks up another] Please hold. [picks up another] You have the wrong number, Frank. [picks up another] Please hold. [drops all phones] How am I supposed to do this?
 * Oscar: [passes by office] What are you doing, SpongeBob? I installed an automated message answering system. No need to answer the phones anymore. [walks away]
 * SpongeBob: [sits still in shock] Oh come on! [attempts to untangle phones] Someday, technology will replace us all. [laughs; rolls back to computer] Well, this gives me some spare time. [leans back in seat] Why do I suddenly feel like Squidward? [shrugs shoulders] Who cares. I like it. [leans forward] Well, what's this? [picks up picture] It's a picture of...[camera reveals picture of SpongeBob, holding a toddler in his arms] Daniel. I thought this was at home. [sighs] I do miss him. This must've been taken years ago.
 * Squidward: [heard behind SpongeBob] Years ago, huh? Well start living in the present, SpongeBob! We've got a lot of work to do. And when I say we, I mean...everyone else but me.
 * SpongeBob: Such as what kind of work?
 * Squidward: [places clear tablet on the table] Try this.
 * SpongeBob: [places wireless earbuds into ears and watches tablet] What? The government is doing what?!
 * Squidward: Hush and you'll find out!
 * SpongeBob: No. I mean I can't hear anything! The earbuds are off.
 * Squidward: [presses earbuds, turning them on] This is the most work I've done all day.
 * Tablet: [heard through earbuds] ...as a whole, not apart. The government has decided to give special names to different codes of fish. The different names include: Connie, Atkinson, Theodore, Meadow, or Harrison. That's all for now. [earbuds cuts off]
 * SpongeBob: [take out earbuds] Why in the sea [stands up walks out into hallway; Squidward follows] would the government want to give fish code names? It's Un-Pacific-an. [picks up two cups, one for himself, one for Squidward]
 * Squidward: [takes cup; begins filling cup] No idea. Who knows why? [sips water] We're talking about the gonvernment here.
 * SpongeBob: [leans on water cooler] You know we're part of the government, right?
 * Squidward: [refilling cup] Figures. [looks at cup] When are we going to get some ice around here?
 * SpongeBob: You want ice, go to Sandy's room. It's freezing in there. [refilling cup] Fur really insulates you, I guess.
 * Squidward: Yeah. [sees paper on top of water container] What are these? [shuffling through papers] Someone left some papers here. [stops at one sheet] Ooh. I think we found our loophole, SpongeBob.
 * SpongeBob: [puts down cup] Let me take a look at that. [takes sheet; reads aloud] "Remember to attend the Government Affiliation Meeting tonight at 6:30. Don't be late, for this is mandatory". [holds up sheet] How is this our loophole?
 * Squidward: And here, I thought [snatches paper] I was the one that didn't keep up with things. [stomps away]
 * [scene cuts to a large meeting building; camera pans to reveal different fish conversing while walking to the building; camera pans to show different conversations in the building; camera pans to SpongeBob, Sandy, Squidward, and Patrick, walking to their seats]
 * Sandy: [walking to a designated seat] Here we are, guys. Our seats. [fish cuts right in front her, sitting in her seat] Hey! Jerk! You just stole my seat!
 * Male Fish 1: [laughs] Ha! Yeah. [sarcastically] I committed a crime. What are you going to do? Arrest me? [scoffs] You're not a cop.
 * Sandy: Right, [reaches into vest] because I just keep [shows badge] this government-mandated badge in my jacket for nothing. [male fish runs away] Uh huh. Yep. Better get to running. [sits down]
 * SpongeBob: [sits down] I think you might get arrested for flashing, Ms. Cheeks.
 * Sandy: Ha ha. He he he. Shh! The program's starting!
 * [lights begin to scan the stage; fanfare music begins to sound throughout the stadium]
 * Announcer: You may not care for this introduction, but...well, put your fins together for...[drum roll] the governer of this state, Governer Brandon Bass!
 * Brandon Bass: [runs out onto stage] Thank you! Thank you! [using microphone] It's great to see all of you out here tonight. Especially on a Wednesday.
 * SpongeBob: [to self] Come on. Get on with this!
 * Brandon: But seriously. [walks around stage] We're here for business. And, as you all know from our commercial, pretty...uh...[digs into ear] serious business. We all know that, well, it's not everyday that the government asks the people to do something that they don't want to do.
 * [commotion begins in crowd]
 * Brandon: Settle down, people. Settle down! Settle down! [crowd calms down to a whisper] I know that...our patience can wear thin sometimes, but we are doing this for good reason!
 * Male Fish 1: [stands up] And what good would that do us?! Huh, governer? [guard approaches with gun; male fish takes out a revolver] You try it, buddy! You try it right now!
 * SpongeBob: [grabs Male Fish 1's arms and holds them behind male fish's back] You know. I think this guy is on to something, Mr. Bass. Why exactly are these names doing for the people of our city?
 * Brandon: [wipes head with hankercheif] I'm glad you asked, Mister...uh...sir. [turns to screen] As we said in the commercial, names are what separates this great city. And this got the government thinking. If names are powerful enough to divide us, then aren't they powerful enough to also bring us together?
 * Sandy: With all do respect, Mister Governer, I would like to know what conflicts have arose in this city to bring upon such an act.
 * Brandon: [chuckles] Well, Ms. Cheeks, you work for the government yourself. I know that you have had your fair share of criminals and conflicts between the common people, but...
 * Female Fish 1: Common people?! [stands up] What exactly does that mean?
 * Brandon: Well, when I use that term, I am addressing all of Bikini Bottom as one, which is our dream, if I can get back on topic.
 * Female Fish 1: So are you saying that all of Bikini Bottom's citizens are [air quotes] "common people".
 * Brandon: That's not what I'm saying at all, ma'am. I am simply saying that if Bikini Bottom can unite as a whole, then we can both remove conflicts and reduce crimes in Bikini Bottom by a great percent margin.
 * Male Fish 2: [stands up] That all sounds nice, Mr. Bass, but how are giving names to certain people going to reduce conflicts?
 * Brandon: That is something we're going to have to find out, citizen.
 * SpongeBob: [returns to team] Find out? That's it we're out of here. [grabs coat] I'm not staying for this. [team stands up and departs]
 * Male Fish 3: [stands in front of SpongeBob] Hey, whoa, where do you think you're going?
 * SpongeBob: Back to the agency if you don't mind. [begins walking past Male Fish 3, yet quickly halted again]
 * Male Fish 3: Actually, I do mind. [whispers to SpongeBob] Look, as an associate for Mr. Bass, I need you to...you know...participate in the cirricu...
 * SpongeBob: [whispers] Oh, save it! What is this? A middle school? Look, you know as well as I do that this stuff is a load of barnacle shavings. Who wants to stay for this kind of stuff?
 * Male Fish 3: Trust me. I don't. But if I don't, I won't get paid the big bucks.
 * SpongeBob: [looks down] That, sir, is not my problem. No one said you had to leave. But if you kindly let us leave, [takes out bill and throws it at associate] go crazy. [team walk past associate, who grabs the money as it drops to the ground]
 * [scene cuts to the agency; camera slowly pans around a large white room with a humungous white table; all of the agents: SpongeBob, Sandy, Patrick, and Squidward are sitting, negotiating]
 * Sandy: Who would want to change their name to some code name?
 * Squidward: Exactly! It's more of an...espionage thing. Not an everyday thing.
 * Patrick: And what I want to know is "why all of a sudden?" It makes absolutely no sense.
 * SpongeBob: The government doesn't make sense. [leans in] We should all get used to that fact. The government requires a little push in order to get stuff done. Done right, that is. Until we can get that push activated, we need to [air quotes] "nudge" them until we get to that point.
 * Sandy: And what exactly is that "nudge"?
 * SpongeBob: [walks to egg container; takes out egg] Take this egg for example. Now think of this egg as the government system. [places egg on table] It has a strong outer surface, kind of like your defenses like firewalls and guards. Yet, when you reach the inside, it's all soft and all liquid. I like to think of that as the "information source".
 * Squidward: What point are you trying to get to, SpongeBob?
 * SpongeBob: [picks up egg] Now, we all know the nature of an egg. [throws egg onto table, breaking it] It hits a hard surface, it breaks. [takes another egg] We also know that eggs are fragile. Right?
 * Patrick: Right...?
 * SpongeBob: So...if we can't throw the egg, then we have to intimidate the egg. [begins pushing egg toward edge of table with finger] If we continue to nudge the egg, little by little, pushing and pushing with little force, eventually we'll reach...[stops egg at edge] the tipping point. [blows egg off of table; egg falls onto ground, breaking] Therefore, we get the same results.
 * Squidward: [leaning on desk] If this speech is going anywhere, can we please get to it. I've only got half an hour of sleep left.
 * SpongeBob: My point is that we don't give into the government. We let the government give into us!
 * [the entire team looks at each other, exchanging faces that seem to agree with SpongeBob, yet with some confusion]
 * Sandy: Okay. I see where this is going. Yet, how are we going to get the government to give into us?
 * SpongeBob: [sits down] The only answer to that question is, Ms. Cheeks is, [exhales] I have no clue. How exactly do you stop someone that plays the same game as you do?
 * Patrick: Duh. [scoffs] You do it better.
 * [scene cuts to the ERGBB, walking inside Bikini Bottom's Government Facility; the team is walking down the red carpet toward the governer's room]
 * Patrick: [listens through door] He's inside, but he's not doing anything.
 * SpongeBob: [grabs door knob] Perfect. Then he might have some time on his hands. [opens door, causing Patrick to slip in] Hello there, Mr. Bass.
 * Brandon: Well, well, this is unexpected.
 * SpongeBob: [sits down on seat] Unexpected? Well, we are a part of the government. We're all friends here. I think we're even close enough to call you Brandon.
 * Brandon: Call me whatever you may. [looks at watch] Just don't call me late for my meeting, which I really should be getting to in a few minutes.
 * Sandy: Don't worry. We only have a couple of questions about last night.
 * Brandon: [looks around suspiciously] Such as?
 * Patrick: The whole name thing just isn't sitting well with us. Why change the names? Why not put all of this time and effort into stopping the crimes at the source.
 * Brandon: [sighs] Look, Mr. Star. We're trying to take the best approach here. We feel as though names are the best path of reasoning here. [looks at watch] Sorry that I have to be a one-question guy, but I really have to get going. [walks out door] Nice seeing you again, though.
 * Squidward: [growls] What do we do now?
 * Sandy: Let's just go back to the agency. There's nothing left here now.
 * SpongeBob: Oh, but there is. [points at picture with Brandon and other democrats, senators, and governers] In this building alone, we have governers, senators, democrats, and even inside people. And tonight, they're all going to be crammed into one, measly room, all of them containing different modes of information that we can piece together. [stands before team] We can go back to the agency when we're good and ready. Right now, we have a meeting to attend.
 * [scene cuts to the government meeting hall; the governers and other government officials are shaking hands and sitting; each member of the team is located behind one of the government officials, peeking up from under the floor boards]
 * Sandy: [peeks up; sinks below ground; using walkie-talkie] Are you sure they can't here us from under here?
 * Patrick: [into walkie-talkie] Positive. We can hear them, but they can't hear us.
 * SpongeBob: [into walkie-talkie] Shh! We're here to listen to our affiliates, you guys.
 * Government Official 1: [offscreen] I think we all know that the people have decided to give us their...[chuckles] critical...reception. Negative reception that is, on our whole name game.
 * Brandon: [camera cuts to reveal him sitting in the middle of the left table] Ohhh yeah. But who cares about what the people think about this? We're doing this for their own good.
 * Government Official 2: You sound like you have quite some experience with this kind of thing, Mr. Brandon.
 * Brandon: Believe me. The ERGBB won't leave me alone with this kind of thing. They're always full of questions. All of the time. They're driving my mind crazy, and that's our job.
 * Government Official 1: Agreed. So, what you're saying is that we should legally change their names ourselves?
 * Brandon: [shrugs shoulders] I don't see any other way.
 * Government Official 1: Me neither. [stands up] You're right. We are going to change the ERGBB's names legally.
 * SpongeBob: [busts out of floorboard] Nooo! [rest of team burst out of their floorboards as well]
 * Brandon: [stands up] Security! [SpongeBob pins Brandon to desk, placing Brandon's arm behind his back]
 * SpongeBob: Remember this trick I did last night, Brandon? Want to see if I can go further? Try calling security again.
 * Brandon: [grunting] This...is...an outrage! Somebody else call security!
 * Government Official 1: [begins running to call button] Yes, Mr. Brandon. [slipped by Patrick; Patrick catches Government Official 1 and pins him to desk]
 * Security Guard 1: [bursts into door; holding gun] Freeze!
 * SpongeBob: Oh, just great! [lets go of Brandon; leaps out of window; presses button on vest; suit inflates, allowing SpongeBob to glide to the next building] Whoo. That was easy. [sees police guns in the distance] Oh, just great. [SpongeBob begins rolling behind the guard-rail of the top of building] Thank goodness I'm a spy. [hides behind fire escape wall]
 * [scene cuts back to the government meeting hall, where Sandy is fighting off security guards]
 * Sandy: [hits security guard in stomach area] Take that! [hops behind another; kicks security guard into another security guard] We've got to ditch these guards, guys. [hops out of way of charging guard; rolls and stands up behind Patrick]
 * Patrick: Agreed. [grabs Sandy and Squidward and leaps out window] Prepare for freefall.
 * Sandy: [looks down and screams] Patrick! What did you just do?!
 * Patrick: Trust me! I know what I doing. [grabs Squidward's tentacles; throws tentacles around pole, swinging the group away from building] Now prepare for landing. [body covers Squidward and Sandy; Patrick's back slams into a bank's doors; places Sandy and Squidward onto ground] He he. That was fun. [picks up piece of glass] And glassy.
 * Security Guard 2: [runs out with gun with other guards] Freeze!
 * Squidward: [places hand on ground] Oh, just great!
 * SpongeBob: [breaks in through air conditioner; rolls on ground; throws bucket of water below guards] Hmm. I thought it would be more slippery than that. [rolls out of way of approaching bullets; hops behind counter; rips out electric wire; throws it into water, shocking the guards] Hasty retreat, you guys! [team runs out of bank]
 * [team then proceed to hide under a manhole, allowing several guards to run past them]
 * Squidward: [exhales in relief] I think that's the closest we've ever been to being arrested. [inhales and exhales]
 * SpongeBob: But we weren't, and we need to use that opportunity to try and continue to nudge the government.
 * Sandy: How do we nudge them even more than we already have? They've hit the ground and they haven't spilled their information yet.
 * SpongeBob: Ah. But they did. Remember in the meeting where Brandon said that ''"it was their job to drive people's minds crazy"?
 * Sandy: Yeah.
 * SpongeBob: And these code names they keep giving fish. Crazy...but I think those two things go hand in hand.
 * Squidward: So, what you're saying is...those names can control people's minds?
 * SpongeBob: I think so, but we better get back to the agency so we can be sure. [phone rings] It's Oscar. [answers phone]
 * Oscar: [on other line] SpongeBob! You guys are in a heap of trouble! [camera cuts to reveal Oscar, watching the television news] The town is in a frenzy! With that little stunt you guys pulled, the government's reeling in even more people to sign up to change their names! You've created an even larger problem...within a problem!
 * SpongeBob: [camera cuts back to SpongeBob] Don't worry, Oscar. We have another plan to fix this whole entire thing.
 * Oscar: [on other end] You better! [dial tone]
 * SpongeBob: [hangs up] Oscar isn't too happy with us, guys. We better fix this whole thing...and fast.
 * [scene cuts to Patrick and SpongeBob inside the evidence room]
 * Patrick: [sitting on chair] This just isn't computing. [looking at list of the legal names on paper] Why Coverton? Why Atkinson? It just doesn't make any sense.
 * SpongeBob: Once again, this is the government we're talking about. [takes paper] We have to read between the lines with them.
 * Patrick: [takes paper back] You're not going to find anything with them, SpongeBob. There's nothing we can do anymore.
 * SpongeBob: You're being crazy, Patrick. [reaches for paper] Just give me the paper!
 * Patrick: [pushes SpongeBob down] No! [rips paper up and throws it on ground] I'm done with this whole government shebang. [storms out of room]
 * SpongeBob: [scoffs; stands up] Quitter. [begins picking up paper] This place is full of them. [puts paper on counter] There has to be something here. [leans in closer] The last two names sound weird when you take some letters out. [chuckles] Theodore, Meadow, and Harrison. The Me Ha. [chuckles; becomes seriously] Wait a minute. The...me...ha...? The meeting hall! No wonder it sounds so familar! The government wants the fish to converge at the meeting hall!
 * Male Fish 4: [walks in] The government wants what?!
 * SpongeBob: Oh, hey, Langston. According to these names, the government wants the fish to converge at the meeting hall, but for what?
 * Langston:Maybe you could find out by yourself. [places bag over SpongeBob's head as he turns around; screen cuts to black]
 * [scene cuts to a dark room; SpongeBob opens his eyes and looks around]
 * SpongeBob: Who? What? Where? I blame Squidward! [looks around] Man, it's dark in here.
 * Patrick: [voice is heard] Speak for yourself.
 * SpongeBob: Patrick? Is that you?
 * Patrick: Yep. [points to light] I think that room over there has some light.
 * SpongeBob: [looks through window to other room] You're right, Patrick. It's...[looks around at thousands of fish crowded into a stadium, signing ballots and sitting] a ballot arena. This is where the people are changing their names.
 * Patrick: How do you know?
 * SpongeBob: The names! The last three names said something about coming to the meeting hall.
 * Patrick: Well, if that's the case, I think that we're next. I think the government is going to change our names legally as the main event.
 * SpongeBob: Maybe. But what about all of the people? It all pieces together!
 * Patrick: What does?
 * SpongeBob: The minds. The people. The names! [throws hands up] It all makes sense. The government is going to control the minds of the people! [room tips over; SpongeBob and Patrick are slid down onto the stage, where they also find Sandy and Squidward]
 * Squidward: What are we doing here, you guys?
 * SpongeBob: We're the main event! They're going to control the minds of all of the fish, including us when they change our names legally!
 * Sandy: I think we can worry about us later! All of the fish here have already changed their names! Who knows what their going to control them for?
 * Brandon: [walks onto stage] Hello there, ERGBB. Prepare to meet your makers. [presses button, causing all of the fish to become electrocuted; Brandon speaks into microphone] Fish! Attack!
 * SpongeBob: [team stand up] Stand your ground, everybody. [looks around arena, spotting machines] Those machines. Don't fight the fish, everyone! Fight the machines!
 * [team leaps into crowd; montage of the ERGBB pushing through the fish to get to the machines; ERGBB reach the machines]
 * Sandy: Hurry, guys! We have to disable these machines before the fish rebound!
 * SpongeBob: [looks back at an escaping Brandon] Oh no you don't! [climbs wall quickly and then leaps; presses suit button, which inflates the suit, gliding him above the fish and in front of Brandon]
 * Brandon: Out my way, SpongeBob! [holds remote] I have control my fish army!
 * SpongeBob: Too bad I'm not going to let you. [knocks remote out of Brandon's hand; hits Brandon in nose, knocking him to the stage]
 * Brandon: [stands up] You want to fight dirty, I see. So be it! [charges toward SpongeBob, only for SpongeBob to charge as well]
 * [camera cuts back to the rest of the team, fighting the machines]
 * Patrick: [pressing numerous buttons] Nothing's happening! How do you stop a machine?
 * Squidward: We have to short-circuit it somehow! But how?
 * Sandy: [looks up at lights] I think I have an idea.
 * ''[camera cuts back to SpongeBob and Brandon in a stand-still]
 * SpongeBob: You're pretty good for a governer, Brandon. Too bad you don't know our spy art! [places leg over Brandon; Brandon grabs SpongeBob's leg and throws him backstage] Oof!
 * Brandon: Oh, don't I? [fist comes at SpongeBob; flash cuts back to Sandy, Patrick, and Squidward]
 * Patrick: [lifting Sandy] Lift harder, Sandy.
 * Sandy: [on Patrick's shoulder] Don't you think I'm trying. [grunts; lifting Squidward]
 * Squidward: I'm trying to reach the light, but it's so far away.
 * Patrick: [flashback to using Squidward's feet to swing for pole] Then use your feet. They're the stretchiest part of your body.
 * Squidward: [using feet to reach light] I got it! I got it! [rips light from ceiling and throws it to machines, short-circuiting them] Yes! [short-circuit process creates smoke, encasing the entire arena in smoke; smoke travels backstage]
 * [camera cuts to backstage]
 * SpongeBob: [pins Brandon] Face it, Brandon! You're too outmanned! Give up now...or do you want some more? [smoke begins to encase the backstage area]
 * [smoke completely encases the backstage area; SpongeBob coughs and leaves backstage; smoke clears up]
 * SpongeBob: Hmm. [looks backstage] The smoke cleared up...[looks around] and so has Brandon. Just great.
 * Sandy: [beside SpongeBob] Seems like that. But that doesn't matter. [looks back with SpongeBob] The fish are all back to normal, we're not under any mind control, and the city is safe!
 * SpongeBob: I guess you're right. [team begins walking out the arena] Not bad for a Monday.
 * [episode ends]