Magma

Transcript
(Episode opens around the table)

EB: I’m cutting right to the chase. It was a 2 - 1 vote, and I have been waiting to say this literally forever. Squilliam, you have been evicted.

Squilliam: THIS IS BS! BAGSNIZZLE!

Steve: That made no sense.

(Squilliam walks out onto the stage)

EB: So final four, I feel like I should say your names.

Steve: Here we have the final four of the second season of Evicted! They are as follows: Plankton, Squidina, Poopla, and Amaya.

Amaya: Yeah that’s right!

EB: I wanted to say that!

Steve: Well I did.

EB: Okay, So for today’s challenge since you guys are the most intense people I know, we are literally dropping you into a volcano to see if you can escape.

Steve: First person to escape wins!

Squidina: Wait the contract you had us sign prevented deadly things like this right?

EB: You mean the contract that I wrote in literal squiggles? Yeah, sure.

(A few minutes later the contestants load a helicopter and fly over a volcano)

Steve: We’re dropping you here, good luck!

Plankton: Do we at least get parachutes?

Steve: Nope!

(EB pushes Plankton out of the helicopter)

Amaya: I value life and my kids.

EB: Wait how old are you?

Amaya: Doesn’t matter.

(Amaya jumps out of the helicopter)

Steve: Well who’s next?

Poopla: I am. Just in case I die, please save my toilet.

EB: Mmmmmk then.

Poopla: Just kidding, I bail!

(Poopla turns to run back into the helicopter, but is pushed out backwards by Steve)

Squidina: Yeah I’m just gonna go.

(Squidina jumps out of the helicopter, and lands on the same platform everyone else landed on)

Poopla: Now they totally didn’t copy this challenge from anywhere else.

Amaya: How do we even get out?

Plankton: Maybe it’s another stupid jumping thing.

Squidina: I’m gonna climb.

(Squidina tries to climb up the walls but fails)

Amaya: Ooh I know!

(Amaya breaks part of the platform away and jumps on it, but flowing lava starts slowly moving her away from the group towards a flaming pit of magma)

Amaya: OH SHIT I DIDN’T MEAN TO DO THIS!

Poopla: Did you say shit?

(Poopla jumps super high and then slams towards the platform for no reason)

Plankton: What was that?

Poopla: No idea.

(Poopla falls asleep)

Squidina: Plankton, got any ideas?

Plankton: If you help me, I totally won’t put you up for eviction!

Squidina: Okay!

(Squidina throws Plankton up onto a tiny ledge near the top of the volcano)

Plankton: Okay now you stay there, and I’ll escape!

(Amaya’s platform is slowly moving towards the magma)

Amaya: Ahhhhh! Guys please help!

Poopla: Don’t worry, I’ll save you!

(Poopla falls back asleep)

Amaya: Oh no.

Squidina: Amaya, grab onto my leg!

(Squidina extends a leg to Amaya, and she grabs it)

Amaya: Thank you!

(Amaya starts coming back as Plankton slowly inches toward the top of the volcano)

Plankton: YOU FOOLS! I’VE WON IT NOW!

(Plankton slips and falls back to the ledge he started at)

Plankton: Ah man!

Squidina: Yeah, that’s right!

(Poopla wakes up)

Poopla: Hey guys, I just had this weird dream that we were all dropped into a volcano against our will an-

(Poopla looks around and falls back asleep)

Amaya: Okay, he’s out.

Plankton: Me too!

(Plankton escapes the volcano, and EB and Steve arrive via helicopter)

EB: Plankton, you have won immunity into the final three. Also, you’re the nominator.

(Camera cuts to around the table)

Plankton: It was a hard decision, NOT. Poopla, you’re my first nominee. You’re so annoying and it seems like all you think about is poo!

Poopla: DO NOT!

Plankton: Now for my second nomination. Squidina, I lied when I said I wasn’t gonna put you up for eviction. You are my biggest threat right now, I want you gone.

Squidina: Wow, thanks.

EB: Well guys, go vote out either Poopla or Squidina!