User blog:PolarTem/Polar Inc. Direct 21.05.17

Hey guys! It's your buddy Polar and welcome to the first official Polar Inc. Direct where we talk about what's going to come for the company over the next year/month/week even. Our sponsors here today are Nintendo, Warner Bros. and Disney and we are talking about The SpongeBob n' Stuff Movie, Bikini Bottom Mysteries, Polar Bricks and many more so please stay tuned and we will get into them all as soon as possible. There's not really much else to say in this introductory paragraph so this is Polar signing off for now and I'll see you all soon.

The SpongeBob n' Stuff Movie
We might as well get to the big headline first because there is no point keeping you all waiting because, now be honest with me, this is literally the only thing you are reading this for. I can now confirm that release date of the movie will be close to, if not, June 17th 2017. Woop! Anyway, besides that, the movie will be canon to the series and will introduce at least two new characters to it and, to promote the movie, a special event will be held in the Club SpongeBob virtual world in June and, for that month only, membership will be free for all players! Ahem, I'm getting a little carried away there. I know! Let's get back on track with another clip from the movie. SpongeBob: My name's SpongeBob and this is my friend Patrick.

Patrick: Hi.

???: Intruders! Wait, if you help us, I guess we could let you go. We don't really intend on hurting anyone we shouldn't.

SpongeBob: Sure, we'll help you! Just as long as you're not evil! (he and ??? laugh)

???: Hang on, we have the same laugh! I think he's the one!

????: Surely not! That'd be too coincidental and convenient.

SpongeBob: I am the one? (he stares in awe as a familiar song plays)

I am the one, don't weigh a ton

Don't need a gun to get respect up on the street

Under the sun, the bastard son

Will pop the Glock to feed himself and family

By any means, your enemies my enemies

We wet them up like a canteen

The yellow tape surrounds the fate

Don't have a face so now you late, open the gates...

???: Just look at him! Same shape, same clothes as us! Just different colours! White, black, blue and... yellow!

SpongeBob: You can be DarkBob and that one can be LightBob!

DarkBob: (sarcastically) Ah, feels so good to finally have a name!

LightBob: Is this when the whole 'revenge' thing begins?

DarkBob: I think so... (he shines a light a Patrick which blows a whole through his belly)

Patrick: (screams) The pain goes right through me!

SpongeBob: Nobody ever hurts Patrick without hurting (he has to dodge many of the same black beams before DarkBob gives up) me.

DarkBob: (pants) All this evil-doing is really tiring me out!

SpongeBob n' Stuff
As you might expect, when we get news from a show's movie we get news from that show! We'd simply like to announce that there will be a season three, although this won't be for a while as there are still many episodes left from season two (yes we have extended our 11 episode order), which will be quite different from the previous two season. But, as for how season two will lead on to this, we can't say much except SOMEONE WILL DIE. (pause) And we're not talking about Kenny.

Bikini Bottom Mysteries
Our new show, Bikini Bottom Mysteries, will premiere next week. Incase you missed it, it is about two siblings called Hades and Leto trying to figure out who killed their father. On their quest, they team up with the mysterious and suspicious Sheldon who owns a fast-food joint called the Chum Bucket. Speaking of new spin-offs, we are also teaming up with Ass Entertainment to produce a show called Burned which is essentially SpongeBob's Fanon Wiki with a few unique twists.

Polar Bricks
As our contract with LEGO ends mid-summer this year, we are launching our own construction toy line called Polar Bricks. It's essentially the same as LEGO without all the small, painful pieces. More will be revealed soon but we will leave with you three of the potentially five themes availiable from launch: Speaking of which...
 * SpongeBob n' Stuff
 * Polar Bricks' Generics
 * Temmie Central All-Star Racing

Temmie Central All-Star Racing
There's no news for this one except a lead off on a happy note. Temmie Central All-Star Racing releases in eight hours! Woop! That is, unless you're reading this a few hours later than release, or you don't leave in the UK. (sigh) I hate awkward endings...