Mr. Renaud Gets Caught!

Mr. Renaud Gets Caught! is the 3rd season 1 episode of The Adventures of Travis and Tim!. it released August 2019, and was the first episode written by Aaron.

Cast

 * Travis
 * Tim
 * Renaud
 * Joseph
 * John Fandom (debut)

Script
(Episode begins with Mr. Renaud in a classroom)

Mr renaud: alright, kiddies, it's time to take off your clothes!

Kids: um… Why do you want us to take off our clothes?

Mr: renaud: it was requested by the sex ed class. We're gonna be shooting a video on how to have sex! It's for educational purposes.

Kids: mr. Renaud, is that even legal?

Mr Renaud: It’s uhh… part of the curriculum. Don’t tell the principal

voice: (offscreen, at door) open up!

Mr. Renaud:  This is the fun part! The risk!

Kid: im scared, mr. Renaud!

Mr. Renaud: don't worry, they can't possibly get us.

Fbi member: (bursts through the door) FREEZE! MR. RENAUD, YOU ARE UNDER ARREST!

Mr Renaud: Oh God! Not again!

fbi: let's go, or I beat you.

Mr. Renaud: (as he's being carried offscreen) but I'm not black! Eh, I'll just inform Mr. Trump again.

(cut to Tim and Travis walking home)

Tim: That was… traumatic

Travis: I second that.

Tim: I'm sure it's less traumatic for the fa- I mean citizens when I'm mowing them down like grass in my glorious homeland.

Travis: There's only one problem, however.

Tim: I'm not shooting enough fa-citizens?

Travis: We don't have a teacher!

Tim: what?!

Travis: our teacher got arrested for shooting an illegal porno. He's trying to get a pardon from President Trump.

Tim: oh, that guy who Putin help hack the election?

Travis: yes, that trump.

(Cut to Mr. Renaud at a desk with Trump)

Trump: Im sorry, Mr. Renaud, but i cannot grant you a pardon.

Mr. Renaud: but why?!

Trump: because apparently those left-wing wacks don't like it when pardons are given to people like you.

Mr. Renaud: CURSE YOU LEFT WING!

Trump: by order of the court, you are being given 99 years in prison for repeated allegations of Sexual Assault.

Mr. Renaud: but theoretically, how much would it cost to get me bailed out?

Trump: I'd say a small loan of a million dollars.

Mr. Renaud: what?

Trump: sorry, obligatory trump joke. Anyway, it would cost millions of dollars.

Mr. Renaud: WHAT?!

Trump: indeed. Take him away.

Mr. Renaud: (as he's being carried away by officers)CURSE YOU TRUMP!

(cut to Travis and Tim at their house)

Tim: I wonder how that pardon is going.

(Short pause)

Tim: I SAID, I WONDER HOW THAT PARDON IS GOING!

(phone starts ringing)

Tim: ah, there we go. (Picks up phone) hello?

Mr. Renaud: (on phone) Tim! Travis! Ive been sent to prison!

Tim: yeah, we know.

Mr. Renaud: (on phone) listen, since Trump isnt pardoning me this time, I need you to bail me out.

Tim: uh, ok? How much will that cost us?

Mr. Renaud: (on phone) $5 mil.

Tim: WHAT?!

Mr. Renaud: indeed. Listen, i need you to bail me out!

Tim: what's in it for us?

Mr. Renaud: I'll improve your grades!

Tim: ok, you have a deal. (Hangs up)

Travis: who was it?

Tim: it was Mr. Renaud. He's in jail and Trump couldn't pardon him. He wants us to pay to bail him out.

Travis: so how much would it cost for a bail?

Tim: $5 mil.

Travis: there's no WAY we can make $5 mil! Wait a second… *Travis grins*

-cut to dark alleyway-

Tim: No! That's the salami of the devil, why did I agree to this?!

(Travis is still waiting for his turn)

Travis: it's a way to make five million.

Tim: this goes against my good russian name!

Travis: Going to an American school is against your good Russian name but you did that for eighteen years. Now, this kind gentleman is getting impatient so start su-

-freeze-

(Unnamed man walks on screen)

Man: Hi, I'm John Fandom. It has come to my attention that this is against the terms of use of our very well moderated website.

Travis: bring water sex back!

(Tim runs on screen)

Tim: You fa-

(John Fandom screeches)

Tim: I mean you men (laughs awkwardly) are derailing the show! Now shut up and let's return to the alleyway!

Travis: I can't wait to see this

Tim: Shut up f(abruptly cut off by the show unpausing)

Tim: THAT'S IT, I'M OUT OF HERE! (storms off)

Travis: at least we made $4 mil.

Tim: (in the distance) You have no CLUE how much mouthwash I'm going to need! (starts crying)

(Cut to them in their house)

Travis: we only need $1 mil and we can bail Renaud out!

Tim: I can still taste it!

(John Fandom knocks on the window and slides his finger across his neck slowly which scares Tim)

Travis: well, do you have any other ideas? And why do you look so frightened?

Tim: uh-

(John shakes his head and tim sees it)

Tim: nothing, nothing.

(John walks away from the window)

Travis: uh, ok… so, do you have any ideas?

Tim: we could sell lemonade.

Travis: ok! (Unzips pants)

Tim: NONO, I MEANT A LEMONADE STAND!

Travis: oh, i get it. (Zips pants back up)

(Cut to them at a lemonade stand)

Tim: FRESH LEMONADE! FRESH LEMONADE!

Travis: $1 MIL A CUP!

Tim: what?! no, we're not charging $1 mil a cup!

Travis: then how much will we be charging?

Tim: i don't know, $10?

Travis: who's gonna pay $10 for a damn cup of lemonade?

Guy: (walks up and gives tim $10 and walks off with some lemonade)

Tim: you were saying?

Travis: it'll take us ages to make $1 mil!

Tim: well do you have any ideas?

travis: yes i do. BRONY LEMONADE, $1 MIL CUP!

Joseph: (walks to stand) did i hear BRONY LEMONADE?!

Travis: yep. Uh, $10000 a cup.

Joseph: I thought you said $100.

Travis: well you heard me wrong.

Joseph: Good thing i stole my mom's wallet. Here's $10000. (Gives money)

Travis: (gives lemonade) anyone else want BRONY LEMONADE?!

(a whole bunch of bronies gather up with wallets)

(Tim passes out from the smell of the herd of bronies, and Travis' eyes water)

Travis: I'm going to walk away now.

Travis: COME ON TIM! HURRY UP!

(Tim wakes up and immediately starts coughing violently and realises that Travis is leaving)

Tim: (creaking his way along) Oh, thank Babushka!

Travis: c'mon tim, we know have $5 mil! Let's bail Renaud out!

(They arrive at the prison and pay $5 mil for Renaud's bail)

Renaud: thank you, Travis and Tim! Though I really miss being balls deep in k-

(Tim Screams)

(John Fandom is seen at the window of the prison)

Renaud: Well, Mr. Fandom, at least you're not the FBI

Tim: He's worse! Watch this, Paul!

Tim: [Slur Redacted]

(John Fandom bursts through the wall of the prison and grabs Tim by the throat and the credits roll while Tim's choking is heard in the background.)

John: (after credits roll) this isnt fandom appropriate! Delete it!

Tim: that's a load of-

(A "page deleted" template appears onscreen and the episode ends)

Trivia

 * There was a 7-month delay between this episode and the previous episode, Diss Track?.