Ask Purple! Episode One

Hey guys, I answered your first round of questions!

Transcript
(Camera zooms in on Purple sitting in a large purple chair, there’s a fireplace in the background and library around the area; a coffee table in the center, with some Box Productions magazines on it, and a framed cringy photo of Purple above the fireplace)

 

Purple: Hello everyone, welcome to the first episode of Ask Purple! Today, I’m answering the many questions you guys have for me. Let’s get right into it.

 

(Ask Purple theme plays)

 

Purple: Our first question comes from Locknloaded23, “What’s your favorite Cult of Squid episode?” Well, that’s a tough one because I’ve wrote half the episodes with you and don’t want to be bias. If I had to choose it would be The Infestation, because those hippies were amazing.

 

(A hippie stumbles into the studio room)

 

Hippie: Sup bruh, I heard my name.

 

Purple: Wait your name is Hippie?

 

Hippie: Yeah. You got any weed?

 

(Hippie wanders away)

 

Purple: Alright then. Our next question comes from SuperJoeyBros9, “What’s the meaning of life?” Well I hoenestly don’t know. I think the meaning of life is to live, if you know what I mean. Be daring, take risks like I do.

 

(Cut ti Purple jumping out of an airplane)

 

Purple: IF I DIE THIS ENTIRE OPERATION IS GOING UNDER!

 

(Purple goes to pull his parachute but it doesn’t work)

 

Purple: OH SH-

 

(Cut back to Purple in his chair)

 

Purple: Our next question comes from CrazySponge, “what is love?” My answer to that is baby don’t hurt me, don’t hurt me, no more.

 

(What is Love starts playing)

 

Purple: Alright our next question comes from GraniteToast1992, “what’s your favorite and least favorite Loud House episode?” My favorite is Undie Pressure, and my least favorite is No Such Luck. Hating No Such Luck seems bandwagon, but people hate it for good reason and I hate it more than any other episode.

 

(Random commercial break time)

 

NEXT SEASON ON EVICTED SOMETHING CRAZY WILL HAPPEN OH YEAH!

 

(This ad is sponsored by Purple TV; back to Purple)

 

Purple: Our next question comes from FireMatch (flames in the fireplace crackle a bit more) “do you think TLH is getting better, or worse?” Personally, after season three I thought better. The ending was amazing, but season four had such an awful start I think I don’t know the answer to if I think it’s getting better or worse.

 

(Purple stands up, brews a pot of coffee, pours himself a mug, and then sits back down)

 

Purple: (sips coffee loudly) our next question comes from CartoonGuy277, “Do you like The Amazing World of Squidward?” My answer is yes, it’s pretty cool. Our next question comes from RTTheOverusedUsername, “don’t you hate it when you walk outside and someone throws a fridge at you?”

 

(Purple walks outside and gets hit with a fridge)

 

Purple: Yes. Also, you’re paying for my medical bills.

 

(Cut back to the lounge)

 

Purple: Our next question comes from JustInCaseTheDingusRunsAway, “what’s your favorite co-wait?” Well JICTDRA, I don’t know what co-wait is unless you are talking about the nation, Kuwait. My grandfather fought in the first gulf war there

 

(yes that’s a real life fact).

 

Purple: Our next question comes from TheJasbre202, “what do your ribs taste like?”

 

(Purple slashes one of his ribs out)

 

Purple: Let’s find out!

 

(Purple takes a bite, smiles, but then falls over bleeding and wakes up three days later in a hospital)

 

Purple: Where am I?

 

Doctor: You seemed to have removed one of your ribs and had to be rushed here before you lost too much blood.

 

Purple: Oh, okay. Well viewers our final question comes from SwedishWalrus, “do you love being purple?” No.

(Episode ends)