Confused

Confused is the fifth episode of Ttyl..

Plot
After Squidward comes out to his parents as "confused" about his sexuality, he is thrown out of the house by his father. He then attempts to room with various friends, finding on his own while attempting to live with them that none of them really lead peaceful lives.

Transcript

 * The episode opens to a shot of Squidward, lying on a bed in a dark room seemingly nude from the waist up. Another squid climbs on top of him - a female squid, with blonde hair, scantily-clad - Squilvia. The two begin kissing passionately as "Summer Breeze" by The Isley Brothers plays in the background.
 * Squilvia: Oh, Squidward...you're so good...
 * Cut to a shot of Squillvia traveling through Squidward's open tentacles, seemingly working her way up to his mouth as the screen cuts to a shot of curtains. When it cuts back, we see Squidward and Squilvia finally stop kissing, and Squidward suddenly get a puzzled expression on his face. Squilvia has seemingly morphed into none other then Squilliam Fancyson, who pulls Squidward back into a kiss before he can question what's going on.
 * Squidward: Wait...this isn't right.
 * Squilliam: Oh, but you know it feels right.
 * We get another shot of the two males passionately kissing, both seen from the waist up. Squidward caresses Squilliam, letting him melt in his arms as the two kiss. We see another shot of their legs as Squilliam passionately moans. Panning back up, Squilliam has morphed back into Squilvia, who stops kissing him and gives him a serious look.
 * Squilvia: You have to make a choice, Squidward.
 * Squidward: Wha...?
 * Squidward begins to realize something weird is going on. The screen becomes blurry as the two continue kissing, only for Squilvia to change into Squilliam again.
 * Squilliam: Who's it going to be?
 * The music suddenly stops as the scene cuts out to Squidward, suddenly awoken from his bizarre dream, sweating as he sits up in bed.
 * Squidward: (out of breath) Good Lord, that's the third time this week. What's...wrong with me? I have to tell someone about this.
 * Cut to a shot of eggs in a frying pan. The screen zooms out to reveal Squidward's mother, a classy lady, is making breakfast while Squidward's father is reading the paper at the kitchen table. We see Squidward enter the kitchen and the two both turn their attention to him with a smile.
 * Squidward's Dad: Ah, there's my boy!
 * Squidward's Mom: (rolls her eyes) Good almost afternoon. It's about time you woke up.
 * Squidward's Dad: Hey, you know teenagers. (chuckles)
 * Squidward: Hey Mom, Dad. (sits down at kitchen table)
 * Squidward's Mom: How do you want your eggs?
 * Squidward: Er, over-easy.
 * Squidward's mom flips the egg in the frying pan again, and the room is silent for a couple of seconds.
 * Squidward: So...there's something I'd like to talk to you both about.
 * Squidward's Mom: What is it, dear?
 * Squidward's Dad: Lady troubles? (chuckles)
 * Squidward: Er, something like that. You see, er...I've actually been wondering if I should be with the ladies or not.
 * Squidward's mom suddenly stops and stares at him. His dad does similar.
 * Squidward's Dad: Uh...hehe, son...you'd best be careful how you word things like that. For a second there, I thought you might be...
 * Squidward: Gay? Well, I don't know.
 * The room falls silent again. Suddenly, the hand of Squidward's dad reaches over and socks Squidward straight in the jaw. Squidward falls over and moans in pain.
 * Squidward's Dad: There, now you know.
 * Squidward's Mom: Richard!
 * Squidward's Dad: I'm not having a queer son, sweetheart. If our boy thinks he's a fairy, well then, it's my job to fix that. Right after breakfast we're gonna go shoot some hoops. And if that doesn't work, then we'll go to a sports bar. Shit, I'll buy the boy a hooker if it means he realizes he needs to cut the gay crap out.
 * Squidward stands up with an angry expression on his face towards his father.
 * Squidward: I never said I was gay. I only said that I didn't know. I'm...confused. And no amount of sports bars or hookers is going to change that.
 * Squidward's Dad: Oh, you're confused? Well, let me settle this for you: you like girls. End of story.
 * Squidward: No.
 * Squidward's Dad: (standing up) Oh, no?
 * Squidward gets closer to his father's face.
 * Squidward: That's right, no. You don't get to make this decision for me. I'm my own person, and I'll be whoever I want to be.
 * Squidward's Dad: Not in this house you won't. Until I hear you say 'I'm straight', I want you out of here.
 * Squidward's Mom: (upset) Richard!
 * Squidward: Well then, I guess neither of you will be seeing me for a while. (stands up and heads out the door)
 * Squidward's Dad: Are you seriously going to leave the house over this homo junk?
 * Squidward: Eeyup. (slams the front door behind him)
 * Squidward stands outside of the front door for a second, hearing his parents' muffled arguing.
 * Squidward: Let's see...where am I going to go? (thinks for a second) Well, I guess Patrick's got the closest house, so it would make sense to stay there, but...Patrick...(cringes) Ah, I've got no other choice.
 * Squidward pulls out his phone and begins dialing.
 * In progress!