I Smoked Six Ounces Of

I Smoked Six Ounces Of is the eleventh episode of Total Drama SBFW. It aired August 16, 2019 and was written by Purple133.

Transcript
(Episode opens at Team Steve with a Para confessional)

Para: Well now that Granite’s gone, I’m just really hoping they don’t turn on me next. Or we win, that would be nice too.

(Cut to Para talking with Golf)

Golf: So what’s this about? I’m a busy busy man.

Para: We’re in the same hotel room and doing nothing.

Golf: Ok fine you got me.

Para: Can you help me convince people to vote out Dan?

Golf: Again? Fine.

(Golf confessional)

Golf: So Para wants me to get Dan out. Well as much as I would like that, it would just be easier to become Para’s friend and slash his throat later. I’d love to see the look on his face when he gets out.

(Cut to Team Hell)

Elli: (talking to Vanessa) so maybe we should vote together? Like a girl squad?

Vanessa: That sounds stupid stereotypical and sexist.

Elli: I mean not r-

Vanessa: Why don’t you just leave me alone.

(Elli confessional)

Elli: So Vanessa is very difficult to talk to because she’s almost twice my age and we think nothing alike.

(Cut to Cici talking to Joey)

Cici: Hey dude, nice job yesterday.

Joey: Thanks!

Cici: Yeah I never got around to complimenting you.

Joey: Yeah. I felt like I was in masterchef!

Cici: What?

Joey: American cooking show.

Cici: Ah we have some things like that across seas. Also, what city are we in?

Joey: Good question. I didn’t get a good look when we arrived and we’ve been trapped in this windowless building for almost a month taking vitamin D pills.

Cici: Love me some vitamin D pills.

(Cici confessional)

Cici: I’ve made it my mission to figure out what city this is. Considering the noise outside and the size of this hotel I would guess NYC, Chicago, New Orleans, LA, or Detroit.

(Cut to the challenge)

Alex: Welcome to your next challenge.

Dan: I smoke six ounces of -

Alex: I don’t care. For today’s challenge, your teams will be catching as many fish as you can within an hour.

Waluigi: WAH! Go!

(Cut to Team Steve at a random indoor lake)

Bot: Wait how big is this apartment?

Dan: No idea.

Image: Guys I caught one!

(Image proudly holds up a fish)

Dan: Way to go.

Purps: I got two!

(Purps gets some fish)

Golf: I swear these challenges keep getting increasingly stupid.

Alex: What was that?

Golf: Nothing!

(Golf confessional)

Golf: Yeah. These challenges are dumb.

(Cut to Team Hell)

Vanessa: Guys I got a little fishy!

SBCA: Yeah that’s cool, I got five.

Vanessa: Show off.

(SBCA confessional)

SBCA: What I'm randomly good at fishing!

(Cut back to Elli fishing and Purps watching)

Purps: Isn’t she the most beautiful girl you’ve ever seen Crazy?

Crazy: Purps, you have a problem.

Purps: What is the problem? Love?

Crazy: No, creepily watching a girl without her knowledge or consent in our day of age.

Purps: That is very true.

Crazy: NOW FISH DAMMIT!

Purps: OK FINE!! BUT I WILL GO TALK TO HER FIRST!

Crazy: NO DON’T!

(Purps walks over to Elli)

Purps: Hey.

Elli: Hey.

(Purps walks away)

Purps: Now that wasn’t so bad, was it?

Golf: Bro why are you talking to chics from the other team?

(Cut to Vanessa and Elli)

Vanessa: So what was that?

Elli: What?

Vanessa: Talking to that boy from the other team?

Elli: Nothing? Am I not allowed to speak anymore?

Vanessa: No not that, just that you know that showmances usually screw the people involved right?

Elli: Yeah…

(Cut to Ian struggling to catch fish)

Ian: MOTHAFUCKA! I CAN’T CATCH NO DAMN FISH!

(Suddenly Ian catches a fish)

Ian: Guys look I knew I could do it. And that brings our grand total to wait-what happened to all of the fish?

Para: Well, um, you see, um. They looked like they were suffering so I let them back into the totally natural lake.

Dan: Para did you get dropped often as a child? Those fish were already dead! I mean unless you’re like me that time I smoked six ounces of-

Para: No, I just I. I’ve been a mess since Granite got out and and-

Golf: Oh my god nobody cares about your sob story because we’re going to lose.

Alex: Time’s up!

Waluigi: WAH!

Alex: Let’s see how many fish you got Team Steve.

Para: Ummmm 1?

Alex: In one whole hour with nine people you only managed to catch a single fish?

Dan: Yeah.

Alex: Disappointing. How about you Team Steve?

Joey: Um we caught 27.

Purps: Say what now?!

Alex: Okay then Team Hell pulls in another big win. Seriously what happened you went from losing five times in a row to now being on top kinda. Team Steve, see you later.

(Cut to Team Steve’s room, Dan is talking to Ian)

Dan: So you’re down for voting Para then?

Ian: That MOTHAFUCKA screwed us in the challenge.

(Dan confessional)

Dan: I really don’t want to lose again. Para is really the last easy vote left. I like everybody left.

(Cut to Para talking to Golf)

Golf: So we’re good?

Para: We’re good. Operation vote out Dan is a go! Even though I know I’m done after they voted out Granite.

(Cut to the elimination ceremony)

Alex: Alright everybody, please go vote.

(Cut to Golf voting)

Golf: Nothing personal, oh wait it is just so I can laugh at your stupid face while you’re going home. Hahahahahahahaha!

(Cut to Para voting)

Para: Not entirely sure if I can trust you or not my dude.

(Cut back to the ceremony)

Alex: So let’s see who’s safe tonight. Image, Crazy, Purps. All safe.

Crazy: o

Alex: Also pretty safe are Bot, Dan, and Ian.

Dan and Golf: Wait what?!

Alex: And now we have our bottom two. Golf I’ve got to say I for one didn’t expect you to be down here tonight at least. Para, pretty expected after Granite’s vote. Would going home tonight be devastating?

Para: I mean not really. I can just make $100k off of my wildly successful TV shows.

Alex: Well in that case you’re out!

Para: What? No dramatic reveal? Anyways, good game everybody!

Bot: Gg bro.

(Para gets escorted to the Lounge of Losers; Golf confessional)

Golf: Wow, he tried to out me as being some sort of “bad guy”. I’m not a bad guy, no. I’m much worse.