The Kelp/Issue II

Opening Message
Welp, The Kelp newspaper is finally back! The entirety of this issue is being written by our newest employee, SuperFanon'D! So be a nice chap and give this guy some pointers and advice. Also note this issue will introduce several sections that will be used later on that haven't been used in the first one (because dang the first one was short). These are the droids you're looking for. But move along anyway.

Reviews
Today we'll be reveiwing two shows that have been praised highly, one movie, and one video game. A percent score will be given rather than using stars.

Show Reviews

 * Absorbent Days by MrScience12: Alright, I know what you're thinking. You think we're going to give it 100% and say "Oh my god this is brilliant work! Fabulous! A masterpiece!" Well no. Honestly, this show is a bit overrated. The first few episodes you can see there are a couple of grammar mistakes and sometimes it could get confusing, but nevertheless it was praised. I'm okay with that, but the thing is was that the humor was all SpongeBob-esque. That's great, and what you want to go with in some spin-off series. But, similarly to how the actual series went, after a while they just ran out of those jokes, and the jokes became not as good. In the second season of Absorbent Days, it's just episodes that are sorry excuses for episodes, and you have to wait so long for them to come out. But since Season 1 was so good, the fans seem to be blinded by it and they say all of the episodes are awesome, and they give the show a million accolades..... but what I would say is that Absorbent days gets a 73%. Season 1 was great, and Season 2 isn't all THAT bad. But it's an average spinoff and nothing more.
 * SpongeBob SquarePants: The Reality Show by Dillon9988: Yet another spin-off that's been praised highly. Unlike what I said about Absorbent Days, I'm going to agree with all the fans here: it IS an awesome show. It's cool that the spinoff was inspired by Total Drama Island also, unlike some spinoffs that say they were "inspired" by other shows than SpongeBob when all they did was take an episode from that show and modify it to change the character names to SpongeBob names and made it more nautical-themed *cough* Family Sponge *cough*. The writing is done great, really exciting, always fun to see who gets eliminated. For some reason, various crossovers and the film were canceled, which is really sad, I want to see more from the spinoff. It also went on a huge hiatus after Dillon9988 left the wiki after an arguement about control of explicit content on the wiki, but a few months ago he came back and he said he's going to make more episodes soon. Hooray! What I think is so amazing is that the series is still running despite all that has happened to it. I guess the show is really just a hit. I'm going to give it an 89%, as there were some imperfections. But believe me, NOTHING I rate will get a 100%, unless it is truly perfect in my eyes.

Movie Review

 * The SpongeToons Movie by Ghastlyop, JamesAdventures, and SuperFanon'D!: This, my friend, is a sorry excuse for a movie. I regret even being involved with the movie, despite the fact I only revised a few things and wrote two sentences I really regret it. Why? Well, SpongeToons was a bad series overall once it got to those episodes where the users appeared in episodes. It ran out of ideas quickly, the episodes were really short and occasionally it would plagarise episodes from other spinoffs (especially ADWSS)! Just recently I got to own SpongeToons, only because I didn't want it in wrong hands. But I made it so that the movie would conclude the series because it was THAT bad. SpongeToons should have been cancelled right after the Plankton saga ended! And I'm not saying the movie is only bad because it was for a bad spinoff. The writing was terrible, not even funny, broke the fourth wall several times and didn't make it any funnier (less funnier, as a matter of fact) and the story was just terrible. It was all terrible. Well, not all terrible. Some people might like this movie, and to give some chance for this movie to attract those people, I'm going to give this an okay percent score: 52%. But if I hadn't been all Mr. Generouspants there, you'd be getting a 27%, so keep that in mind! Rotten Tomatoes would have thrown tomatoes all over this movie. Rotten tomatoes. Rotten, moldy tomatoes.

Video Game Review

 * The SpongeToons Movie Video Game by Ghastlyop and SuperFanon'D!: I don't know why I even chose to be part of the crew on this game. The plot isn't even close to the movie's plot. Ghastlyop took so much credit despite the fact he just wrote a few sentences. And it was so bad that I just abandoned it, and it's the same way it was when I last saw it now.  It was kind of fun making the levels, but eventually it just got tedious to describe the levels so thoroughly. And it was a bad game anyway. I give it a 34%.

Jokes
Q: Why DIDN'T the chicken cross the road?

A: To not get to the other side, duh.

Q: How do you hug a porcupine?

'''A: Well, the typical answer is "carefully", but I say remove all of its quills with pliers and then hug the mushy weird thing that's left. At least you won't end up hospitalized. But I bet the porcupine will. If they make hospitals for porcupines, that is.'''

Q: Why didn't the guy come in like a wrecking ball?

'''A: Because Miley Cyrus is a bad singer. All she does is twerk in thongs that barely cover her butt, and the crowd goes wild.'''

Puzzles
Submit your answers to these tricky riddles and puzzles in the comments.... if you can! In the next issue we will tell you what the answers were. Good luck!

RIDDLE: You're stuck in a room. No windows, no door, no nothing. The only thing there is you, the room, and a wooden board. How do you escape? You can only submit one guess. If you guess right (or close enough) you get a special prize!

PUZZLE: Match each user to the day they joined. You can submit only one guess. If you guess it right you will get a prize! To submit your answer, make pairs of the letters next to the username and joining date. For example, in the list of join dates you see 11) March 20, 2014, and in the username list you see v) Ghastlyop. In your comment you would list the pair 11, v because Ghastlyop joined the wiki on March 20, 2014. Note: neither of those options appear in the puzzle.

USERNAMES: JOIN DATES:
 * a) SuperFanon'D!
 * b) IRmjii
 * c) Kidboy24
 * d) MrScience12
 * e) Arre 320
 * 1) October 30, 2012
 * 2) November 6, 2008
 * 3) January 19, 2014
 * 4) February 15, 2014
 * 5) November 20, 2013

Weather
Weather here at SBFW calls for some moody weather next week! On Sunday there will be a storm as estimated from the harsh winds and cold air gradually moving northeast from the Ben 10 Omniverse Wiki torwards us. The storm will be very terrible on Monday and might cause some power outages. We don't encourage going outside that day. The storm will mostly clear up on Tuesday, but it will still be rainy and overcast. On Wednesday the storm will continue moving along its path and is estimated to reach the Sesame Street Wiki next. The effect of the storm could also carry on to our near wikis, the SpongeBob Wiki and the Nickelodeon Fanon Wiki, which are east and west of us, respectively. This terrible storm started nearby the Paw Patrol Wiki from unknown reasons and has traveled miles northeast with no signs of getting calmer. The average temperature of November last year was 27 Fahreinheit, so the storm might actually cause snow. The storm's last target was the Peppa Pig Wiki and it left it a small sheet of frost. Any other details about the storm is unknown, but it's suspected to be a very rough storm and it's advised to stay inside until Thursday, when the storm will be cleared out. Further on from there, it's hard to predict what will happen, but it's thought that it will be sunny on the wiki after that.

Closing Message
So, what did you think of how Fanon writes on the newspaper? Leave your thoughts in the comments below. And don't forget to put your guesses for the puzzle section! If there's anything else you want to know about the upcoming storm ask any question and we'll try to answer.