Fanonland Invasion

Fanonland Invasion is the fourteenth episode of SBFW Quest. It aired in 2019 and was written by Purple133, FireMatch, CrazySponge, AlternativeHuman93, , and .

Transcript
Yeah (Episode opens with cannonballs hitting the walls of Fanonland)

Purps: We’re screwed.

(Ponyo runs outside)

Ponyo: What’s going on?

Purps: The siege of Fanonland. It’s beginning.

(Everyone, even Travis come out of their houses to see ESB troops riding on horseback, as the armada is taking formation)

Granite: It’s actually happened.

Travis: Matchy, after this if you still fap in class, I will beat your ass.

Matchy: Shut the fuck up.

Alt: Ok. So what’s happening. Also Travis stop making your damn fapping jokes!

Travis: Never, you filthy imperialist!

Alt: Ugh!

Crazy: This is absolutely INSANE.

(Shot of every Fanonland inhabitant standing in a row prepped for battle)

Ponyo: COBBLEPIRATE21! YOU ARE THE BLACKSMITH! GET THEM WEAPONS!

Alt: Oh no! I don’t know which side to choose! Oh wait, this isn’t an ESB vs. SBFW battle.

Crazy: JUST CHOOSE A SIDE.

(CobblePirate21 comes out with weapons)

Ponyo: Dan, you get a battle axe.

Dan: Let’s fucking go.

Ponyo: Rocky, you get a bow.

Rocky: Wait a second.

Ponyo: Purps, you get a sword. Alt, you also get a sword.

Purps: I know what’s going on.

Ponyo: Travis, you get a staff.

Travis: Is it magic?

Ponyo: (looks at label) yes. And Crazy, you get a ring that can turn you invisible.

Crazy: can i use it for...uh, other things?

(Everyone else is given swords, some people get large catapults for multiple people, some people get bows, and some get bags of rocks)

Ponyo: PREPARE TO FIGHT!

Purps: Hey Matchy, who’s that?

(Purps points at somebody strolling into the castle)

Matchy: (pulls out binoculars) GOLF!

(Camera cuts to JackHackers and his mom, going through the Wendy’s drive-thru)

Jack: MOM! I WANT A BACONATOR!

Jack’s Mom: No Jack, your little tummy can’t handle it!

Jack: I CAN HANDLE IT MOM!

(Camera cuts to Purps and Matchy, who are following Golf)

Purps: Maybe we can trip him?

Matchy: Using what?

Purps: No clue. Seemed like a good idea.

Matchy: Wait, he’s stopping!

Golf: I can hear you idiots.

Purps: You sure?

Golf: Why are you following me?

Matchy: Because you’re an enemy walking into our castle.

Golf: Well I thought taking this castle would be easy.

Purps: Not if I have anything to say about it!

(Golf grabs a large golden sword)

Golf: Yeah it’s still going to be easy.

(Camera cuts to a large-scale battle about to begin at the border of Fanonland, as the wall is breaking down)

AFP: I know this looks bad, but I mean that’s a pretty tough wall.

(The wall collapses)

AFP: EVERYBODY CHARGE!

(AFP runs into a group of ESB users and starts swinging a sword, as everyone else fights against ESB users)

Dan: Why are there so many of them?

Rocky: Good question.

Polar: Maybe because their wiki is bigger?

(Polar shoots an arrow into one’s shoulder)

ESB User #1: OW!

Ponyo: Would you look at the time, I better get back to the castle!

Dan: You’re seriously ditching us now?

Ponyo: Better safe than sorry.

(Camera cuts to Matchy and Purps sword fighting Golf)

Matchy: Oh my god this is exhausting.

Golf: Tell me about it. Just let us destroy Fanonland and all will be good.

Purps: Why do you even want to destroy it in the first place?

Golf: Because SeemsGood and Lock hurt my feelings! This place is toxic, like a fucking drug. I’m here to get rid of it.

Matchy: Excuse me, BOI.

Crazy: Golf, why don’t you just report them to fandom?

Purps: When did you get here?

Crazy: I learned how to teleport, remember?

Purps: Uh, no.

Crazy: Oops, wrong series!

(Crazy vanishes)

Golf: Okay, where were we?

(Golf swings his sword at Matchy and Purps, who hold the blow off with their swords)

Purps: Matchy, get a shield!

Matchy: WHERE?!

Purps: Over there!

(Purps points to a convenient box of shields)

Matchy: Got it!

(Matchy gets a shield and Golf attacks him foolishly)

Golf: Shit!

Purps: Taje that!

(Camera pans to the large scale battle going on outside)

AFP: GUYS! BEFORE YOU PANIC, JUST REMEMBER THERE’S NO WAY WE CAN LOSE!

(Horses start charging in and attacking random Fanonland civilians)

Dan: Shit.

AFP: LAUNCH THE CANNONS!

Rocky: What cannons? We don’t own cannons.

AFP: GODDAMMIT!

CrazySponge: o.

Dan: Hey hey, just take your sword like I do (grabs sword) and run into battle screaming BANZAI!

(Dan charges into a group out ESB users)

CrazySponge: Hey that’ll work!

(Everyone starts charging, confusing the ESB users; meanwhile…)

Jack: Did you order the Baconator mom?

Jack’s Mom: Yes Jack, just for you.

Jack: Thank you!

(Jack’s mom pulls up to the drive-thru window)

Wendy’s Employee: That’ll be $7.89 ma’am.

Jack’s Mom: Hey it said $5.99 out there!

Wendy’s Employee: Sure.

(Jack’s mom hands the employee the cash and then he hands over the baconator; Camera cuts to an epic sword fight between Purps and Golf)

Purps: Wait what happened to Matchy?

Golf: He ran and hid in the corner like ten minutes ago.

Purps: Oh yeah.

Golf: Hey stop distracting me!

(Golf slashes Purps in the cheek with his sword)

Purps: Oh shit!

Golf: Wow I actually hit you!

Purps: Yeah and I’m about to hit you multiple times.

(Purps swings his sword at Golf, who dodges it and then swings back)

Golf: I’m reporting you for this!

Purps: Yeah, keep yapping your mouth, liberal.

Golf: I’m reporting you twice as hard now!

Purps: REPORTING ME TO WHO? GOD?

Golf: No! The overlords, Fandom!

Purps: Oh shit.

(Golf pushes a button on his sword and a horn is heard outside)

Matchy: (wakes up) SHIT.

Purps: What the fuck was that?

Matchy: He sounded the Fandom alarm! They’re gonna be here any minute!

Golf: That’s what you guys get for being mean to me!

Purps: Bro what the hell?

Golf: THAT’S RIGHT I CALLED IN THE BIG GUNS.

(A bunch of people wearing FANDOM bodysuits come riding in on horseback and start killing villagers on both sides)

Dan: Hey Ponyo, WHAT THE FUCK DO WE DO NOW?!

Ponyo: We’re screwed. We can’t beat Fandom!

Crazy: EVERYBODY RUN FOR YOUR LIVES OR INTO A BACKUP CASTLE WHICH I CONVENIENTLY BUILT!

Dan: Backup castle?

(Matchy and Purps run outside)

Matchy: Yeah Crazy built a backup castle.

Dan: WELL WHY WASN’T I TOLD?

(Golf sprints outside)

Golf: Ha you’re all screwed now! There’s no way you can escape CERTAIN DOOM.

Purps: Shut up Golf.

Golf: MAKE ME!

(AFP knocks Golf unconscious)

AFP: GUYS GO.

(Everyone sprints for their lives as Fandom takes out the entire kingdom of Fanonland)

Ponyo: Everything is gone.

Crazy: Well I made a backup with some stuff!

Purps: Yeah, I guess we gotta start again.

(Camera pans to Jack’s car)

Jack: Mom can I please have the baconator.

Jack’s Mom: Yes.

(Jack’s Mom hands Jack the baconator)

Jack: LET’S GOOOOOO.

(Camera goes black)