Patrick Superstar

(Scene: Krusty Krab)

Squidward: (Temmie comes to order and walks straight past a line) Umm, there's a line.

Temmie: umm...i'd like to order over nine thousand krabby patties p.

Squidward: Woah. SpongeBob, over ni-

Temmie: to go. (SpongeBob gives him a bag)

SpongeBob: There you go! Over nine thousand Krabby Patties! (Mr. Krabs comes)

Mr. Krabs: (gasp) Fifty Krabby Patties? You, umm... creature, know own the world record for... the biggest amount of money I have earnt from one customer! Yipeeeee!

Temmie: how much wil these b?

Mr. Krabs: A small loan of a million dollars. (He's paid and he leaves) Wait, he smelled like... Plankton!

Squidward: Oh, give it a rest. How is that possibly Sheldon?

SpongeBob: Who's Sheldon?

Mr. Krabs: I can smell that organism's smell from anywhere.

SpongeBob: (smirks) Orgasm.

Mr. Krabs: Organism not orgasm! Plankton's stench is a foul stench of crime and corruption.

SpongeBob: No, that was me. Sorry.

Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob, I want you to follow... it.

SpongeBob: Aye aye, captain! (leaves)

Mr. Krabs: You! (points at a customer) Man the grill.

Patrick: I'm a starfish, I don't have gills. (leaves but is dragged into a van)

Mr. Krabs: (points to audience) You then. (we see Patrick falling and he screams. He lands next to two other people)

Selena: Welcome to the club.

James: Do you know why we're here?

Patrick: Nope, same for the heads, shoulders, knees, toes, eyes, mouth and nose.

Selena: So you didn't bring us here?

Patrick: Neptune did.

James: Well, atleast we have company, I guess.

Selena: I just hope whoever sent us here will show up soon.

James: Same. I don't like it down here.

Old Oliver: Hello folks, you're probably wondering what you're doing down here.

Selena: Obviously.

James: I want food! Food! Can't you see how hungry I am?

Patrick: And I want to be president of the United States!

Old Oliver: I used to be the superhero The Dash.

Selena: Never heard of him.

James: I think he was in my gym class.

Old Oliver: Well, I never actually kicked butt but that's because I'm old.

Patrick: (smirk) He said butt butt!

Old Oliver: This was my lair, The 'Dashcave'. I needed superheroes to replace me like I replaced Mermaidman and Barnacle Boy so I pulled you into my van whenever I saw potential in somebody as being a superhero and I chose you three... That's sounds so wrong.

James: You mean we're gonna be superheroes? That makes no sense but I'm up for it!

Selena: Cool!

Patrick: I think now's the time to confess that I'm already a superhero. Patrick Man! (cricket chirp)

Old Oliver: You're costumes are over there. Try them on and gain you're superpowers. (they change)

James: Batboy!

Old Oliver: Super strength and super stealth.

Selena: Unicorn Girl!

Old Oliver: Magic and lasers.

Selena: What?

Old Oliver: It'll come clear.

James: (smirk) He said-

Patrick: Patrick Superstar!

Old Oliver: Super flight and super sense. No speed unfortunately, I wore that off but you do get a awesome racecar.

James: Oh, wow. The main character of this episode gets the best stuff. And what do I get?

Selena: Atleast I'm my own horse.

James: That's it! You're my steed! Can I ride you?

Selena: Literally but not metarphorically, I already have my eyes set.

Old Oliver: You shall be the League of Unlikely Heroes and protect the ocean! Patrick Superstar, use your sense to detect your first mission.

Patrick: I detect the foul stench of crime and corruption in this very basement.

Selena: Sorry, that was me.

James: Selena!

Patrick Superstar: And something fishy seems to be going on at a burger bar downtown.

James: Then let's go!

Selena: C'mon, James and Patrick. (they are about to leave)

James: Thank you, err...

Old Oliver: Just call me Old Oliver, your mission giver and butler.

James: OK, Old Oliver, our mission giver and butler!

Patrick: (smirk) He said butler!

(cut to the burger bar)

SpongeBob: (gets out of Batmobile) Excuse me, one burger please.

Alex: A Krabby Patty?

SpongeBob: (gasp) I knew it! One of those. (he eats it) As if I made it! I'm sorry but it seems as if-

Selena: Out of the way, young one.

Patrick: Let the superheroes deal with this.

SpongeBob: Patrick?

James: We're the League of Unlikely Heroes!

Alex: I could tell, kids.

Patrick: We're not kids, we're very mature adults.

Selena: A fellow member of our team detected crime happening in this area of town. We'd like to investigate.

Alex: I'll call in the owner. (Plankton pops up)

SpongeBob: Plankton! So Mr. Krabs was-

James: Right then. Tell us a bit about this place, Plankton I heard somewhere.

Plankton: This is a burger stand selling cheap uhh... burgers only a pound, wanna try one?

Patrick: I do! (eats a burger) This is the most delicious thing in the world! James: I'll have that. (takes one) Hmm, this tastes just like a Krabby Patty. What do you think, Patrick? Patrick? (we see a close-up of Plankton with the X Files theme in the background)

Selena: I'm afraid we're gonna have to turn you in.

Plankton: Oh, really? Temmie, attack! (Temmie fights them and the team get her on the floor and

Selena shoots a laser from her horn)

Selena: Oh, that makes so much sense now!

James: We got you now, Te- (he disappears) Hey, where'd he go?

Patrick: (smirk) You said tea.

James: Looks like we'll have to turn you in instead. (turns to where Plankton and Alex should be but they're gone) Oh.

Selena: You know, crime fighting is a lot of hard work and it is very tiring. I think I might go back to being my same old self with no alter-ego whatsoever.

James: As fun as this was, I think you're right. Welp, back to the office. I hate the office.

Patrick: Maybe they've given up but Patrick Superstar will continue to fight for generations to come!

SpongeBob: Well, not generations. Maybe as long as the season or even series.

Patrick: Yeah, that seems reasonable.

SpongeBob: Glad you could agree with me, Patrick.

Patrick: So much for the costume.

Batman: Hey, are you the one who stole my Batmobile?

Patrick: No.

Batman: I was talking to the yellow waffle.

SpongeBob: Well, you could say I... yes, yes I did.

Batman: You're coming with me. (they leave as we cut to Mr. Krabs getting a phone call)

Mr. Krabs: Hello?

SpongeBob: Mr. Krabs, can you bail me out of jail?

Mr. Krabs: Nope.

SpongeBob: Oh, OK. I'll phone my parents then. (sigh) Oh, and it was Plankton. He was selling our patties but I don't think he knows the recipe yet. I told the police about it and he's in the cell next door.

Mr. Krabs: You've done good boy. OK, I'll bail you out as long as you pay me the money back.

SpongeBob: Thanks.

Mr. Krabs: Call me back, I have a call on the other line. Hello.

Plankton: Mr. Krabs, can you bail me out?