User:Ponyo Fan/Sex, Lies, and Cannibalism

Sex, Lies, and Cannibalism is the third episode of Vacation: The Parody.

Transcript

 * 'Ponyo, Tanner, Simon, Da Nerd, and the rest of the cast are all sitting in the hotel dining area, waiting for their food.
 * Da Nerd: I'm so hungry...
 * Ponyo: It's only been three days, you guys. Give them some time.
 * Tanner: IT'S BEEN THREE DAYS. Surely we're not the only ones who are getting-
 * Tanner turns around and sees no one else in the dining area.
 * Tanner: Where is everybody?
 * Ponyo: Probably realized how much the service here sucks.
 * Three more days later...
 * Ponyo: They're coming.
 * Three more days later...
 * Ponyo: They're almost here.
 * So much later that the old narrator got tired of waiting, and they had to hire a new one...
 * Ponyo: Does anyone else think they're not coming?
 * Tanner: That's it. I'm going to march back there and demand something to eat.
 * Tanner goes back into the dining kitchen, the rest of the gang following behind him. Inside, there are a bunch of bloody corpses on the ground, surrounded by unfinished raw food.
 * Ponyo: Oh. That explains it.
 * Brief pause.
 * Simon: Screw it, I'm so hungry.
 * Simon begins eating the raw food next to the corpses. The rest of the gang does the same.
 * Ten minutes later...
 * Everyone is standing outside of the bathroom next to the dining area, clinched over in pain due to an intense need to "go". Topher is the only one in there.
 * Ponyo: (pounding on door) Hurry up, dammit!
 * Topher: I'm almost done, cracka...oh, shit, no I'm not...(loud farting sounds and moans of pain)
 * (theme song)
 * The gang are finally seen going back to their room, still clinched over in pain, but no longer with explosive diarrhea. Once they open the door, they see that everything is gone.
 * Simon: What the...?
 * Desu: Where is everything?
 * Ponyo and Tanner start exploring other rooms as everyone else stands in the main room.
 * Ponyo: All the beds are gone.
 * Tanner: And all our electronics.
 * Topher: Eh, why the hell should I care? (taking a drink from a glass of water)
 * Ponyo: And Topher's bong.
 * Topher spits water all over Desu, who gets pissed.
 * Topher: Oh, they're gonna pay!