SpongeBob UnCanon/Transcript

This article is the transcript of the 2006 video game SpongeBob UnCanon.

Cold Opening
(The game opens with a nighttime shot of the Krusty Krab. The shot cuts to the front doors as a shadow resembling Plankton walks up to them. He sneaks inside and begins to hide behind each table to make sure he is not visible. He reaches Mr. Krabs' office and a green beam shines on the safe. The laser beam reveals the code and then the camera pans to the left to reveal Plankton.)

Plankton: Yes, that's it.

(Plankton jumps up to the safe and unlocks it. He opens the safe to reveal the Krabby Patty formula, which he takes.)

Plankton: Finally, after all these years... (jumps down from the safe) after so many failed attempts, I have finally stolen Krabs' secret formula! (laughs evilly, then pauses) But wait, my plan will fail if they find me at the Chum Bucket. I guess I'm going to have to... (sinister grin) run away from home...

(Plankton goes to back to his sinister laughing as the camera zooms into his mouth and quickly fades to a black screen. Plankton's laugh echos away. The title "SpongeBob UnCanon" is displayed on the screen.)

The Adventure Begins
(When the player begins a new file, the story begins with a shot of Conch Street as it slowly zooms onto SpongeBob's house. The French Narrator begins his monologue.)

French Narrator: Ahhhh, it is a beautiful morning in Bikini Bottom. The flowers open as they awake from their late night slumber. The scallops chirp with song as they fly in wonder. The weather is bright and clear without a single cloud in the sky. Ah yes, it is a perfectly normal day for nature. But for our friend SpongeBob, what would seem like an average day at work was about to take a turn for the worst. What you are about to see will intrigue you before your very eyes.

(SpongeBob is sleeping in his bed. The camera pans to the left as his foghorn alarm clock ticks to six o'clock and begins honking, SpongeBob wakes up and turns his clock off.)

SpongeBob: (yawns and scratches his back) Good morning, Gary!

Gary: Meow.

SpongeBob: Oh boy, I can't wait to go to work! (SpongeBob runs downstairs as Gary follows him) Today is supposed to be a very special day. What makes it special, you ask? Mr. Krabs is going to give us discount tickets for Glove Sea, the water park subsidiary of Glove World, as rewards for me and Squidward for all our hard work! I am so excited! Well, better get ready.

(The game rolls through a montage of SpongeBob getting ready for work, such as putting on pants, eating breakfast and brushing his eyes, just like in The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie. He puts on his uniform hat.)

SpongeBob: I'm ready! (runs out the door) I'm ready, I'm ready, I'm ready, I'm ready...

(Squidward walks out his door as he puts his uniform hat on. SpongeBob runs up to him.)

SpongeBob: Hey Squidward! Guess what? I'm ready!

Squidward: SpongeBob, if you're ready to move, please consider packing all of your belongings and your mongrel snail with you. I will be very happy for you to never come back.

SpongeBob: (laughs) No silly, I'm ready to go to work!

Squidward: Yeah, go figure.

SpongeBob: Come on, let's get going.

(SpongeBob and Squidward begin walking to the Krusty Krab. The scene goes to SpongeBob talking to Squidward as they walk to work.)

SpongeBob: So do you remember what Mr. Krabs will be giving us today?

Squidward: You mean those discount tickets for that bland water park known as Glove Sea? Yes I remember, but I don't care and I'm not interested.

SpongeBob: Come on, Squid. I can guarantee you that Glove Sea will be lots of fun! I mean, I've never been there at all, but it looks like a great place to be!

Squidward: If you've never been to Glove Sea, then why are you already predicting that it will be fun?

SpongeBob: Millions of people love Glove Sea, Squidward. It's never too late to go somewhere you haven't gone before. Our vacation will be a blast, I know it!

(The two suddenly pause in their tracks.)

Squidward: Wait, SpongeBob. Is that Mr. Krabs?

(Mr. Krabs is seen slouching on the front doors, crying.)

SpongeBob: What's wrong, Mr. Krabs? You look like you are having a terrible day.

Mr. Krabs: Oh SpongeBob, me boy! It was terrible! The... the...

SpongeBob: The patties have gone bad?

Mr. Krabs: No.

SpongeBob: The Glove Sea tickets have expired?

Mr. Krabs: No.

SpongeBob: Wait, wait! Don't tell me! The Krabby Patty formula has been stolen?!

Mr. Krabs: Yes! It's gone, all gone! (crying)

SpongeBob: Mr. Krabs, how did this happen?

Mr. Krabs: (sniffing) When I arrived, I was minding me own business, until I walked into my office and found that the safe was open. Me secret formuler was nowhere to be found! I figured that Plankton had stolen it, so I ran over to the Chum Bucket. But to my surprise, I couldn't find him anywhere. His computer wife told me he was "not home right now". So there you have it. The formula stolen, and my arch-nemesis is hiding somewhere with it far away! (crying)

SpongeBob: How horrible!

Squidward: (sarcastically) What? Oh nooooooo. Yeah Mr. Krabs, I don't really care.

Mr. Krabs: I guess we all know what this means, boys.

SpongeBob: No discount tickets for Glove Sea?

Mr. Krabs: No, SpongeBob! The Krusty Krab is about to reach its demise. Without me formuler, she will go out of business.

SpongeBob: Don't worry, Mr. Krabs. We'll get the formula out of Plankton's grimy little hands. That is, if we know where he's hiding.

(Patrick appears from the left side of the screen.)

Patrick: Hey SpongeBob!

SpongeBob: Oh, hi Patrick!

Patrick: Can I have a Krabby Patty?

SpongeBob: I would love to, Patrick, but I can't. Plankton has stolen the secret formula.

Patrick: What? Well then go to the Chum Bucket and...

SpongeBob: No Patrick, you don't get it. He's not at the Chum Bucket this time. He has went into hiding at some place far away from here, but we don't know where. We're going to have to figure out his location if we want to recover the formula.

More coming soon!