Everybody Loves Golf

Everybody Loves Golf is the fourth episode of Total Drama SBFW. It aired July 7, 2019, and was written by Purple133.

Synopsis
Golf tries to get everybody to like him, Polar is completely missing from a game of dodge-ball, and Rocky starts becoming a powerful player in the show.

Transcript
(Episode opens at Team H-E Double Hockey Sticks)

 

Joey: That was a wasted vote.

 

Steve: Steve is stayin’ alive.

 

Joey: That’s for damn sure.

 

(Travis is talking to Cici)

 

Travis: My dude, we got the classturbator out!

 

Cici: Eh, that’s not funny anymore.

 

Travis: WHAT?!

 

(Cici walks away)

 

Travis: UGH!

 

(Cut to Elli talking to Joey)

 

Joey: So I’m thinking we’re both kinda heading towards the bottom, so we should start voting together maybe.

 

Elli: How are you so sure we’re going to lose?

 

Joey: I know.

 

Elli: Wow way to stay positive. But sure.

 

Joey: Alright COOL!

 

(Cut to Team Steve)

 

Golf: Rise and shine pretties!

 

Purps: Wut.

 

Jasbre: Golf are you feeling okay?

 

Golf: Yes! Great!

 

(Golf goes to FD)

 

FD: Hey Golf.

 

Golf: Hey!

 

FD: You sounds oddly positive today.

 

Golf: (quietly) Okay here’s the catch bub. I’m acting nice so that people will be more inclined to vote for losers like you.

 

FD: Wait what?

 

Golf: Bye FD!

 

(Cut to Golf in the confessional rooms)

 

Golf: So Alex forced me in here and said she forgot to start this. I guess I have to say stuff about what I’m doing here? I dunno. I’m just going to pop a target on FD’s back while looking like the good guy. Then they’ll vote him out and not me!

 

(Cut back to the room, Purps and Image are talking)

 

Image: How’s it going?

 

Purps: Oof 27.

 

Image: Alright then.

 

Alex: EVERYONE TIME FOR A CHALLENGE!

 

(Both teams arrive to see a shark tank, a few bungee cords attached to beams, and some dodgeballs in the water)

 

Waluigi: WAH! Welcome to XTREME DODGEBALL!

 

Alex: In this extremely dangerous game, you guys will be playing dodgeball against each other while being held above a shark tank.

 

(Cut to Joey in the confessional room)

 

Joey: I’m 98% sure they’re trying to kill us. Maybe 99%?

 

(Cut back to the challenge)

 

Alex: So we need five people from each team to play against each other. The winning side will get immunity tonight!

 

Waluigi: WAH! choose your participants.

 

(Cut to Team Steve)

 

Jasbre: I’m thinking we have myself, Dan, Ian, Golf, and Image go out there.

 

Crazy: What about me?

 

Jasbre: No.

 

Crazy: Bu-

 

Jasbre: No!

 

Image: I really don’t want to go ou-

 

Jasbre: Too bad, I made up my mind.

 

(On Team Hell)

 

SBCA: Maybe we should have like Travis go out since he’s expendable.

 

Travis: Hey! But I agree.

 

Rocky: I need to go out.

 

SBCA: Any objections to that?

 

(None)

 

SBCA: Alright, Rocky can go too.

 

Rocky: Let’s go.

 

(Rocky confessional)

 

Rocky: Personally, I feel like I can pull off the win for us today.

 

(Back on team hell)

 

Elli: I’ll go!

 

Vanessa: You volunteers are idiots, you’re going to die.

 

SBCA: I’ll go too.

 

Vanessa: Idiot.

 

Rocky: Hmmmmm how about Vanessa goes out?

 

Vanessa: No thanks.

 

SBCA: Okay then ummmm Steve!

 

Steve: Steve is good at taming sharks.

 

Waluigi: Who are your participants Team H-E Double Hockey Sticks?

 

SBCA: Me, Rocky, Travis, Elli, and Steve.

 

(Waluigi goes to Team Steve)

 

Waluigi: Who are your participants Team Steve?

 

Jasbre: Me, Dan, Ian, Golf, Image.

 

Ian: Motherfucker.

 

Waluigi: LANGUAGE!

 

Ian: Yeah, it’s ENGLISH MOTHERFUCKER!

 

Waluigi: Alright, Alex is now going to hook you to the bungee cords. If you get hit, we’ll hoist you back up and you’re out. Last person standing wins it for their team!

 

(Everyone gets attached; Cut to Image confessional)

 

Image: I’m not supposed to die this way.

 

(Cut to Steve confessional)

 

Steve: Steve has tamed sharks before so this will not be an issue for Steve to win.

 

(Back to the challenge everyone is now strapped in)

 

Alex: When I say go, you jump off the platform and grab dodgeballs. Then to crazy. Ready?

 

Travis: no.

 

Alex: Go!

 

(Jasbre gets a ball and slams Travis in the face with it)

 

Travis: OW!

 

Waluigi: WAH! you’re out!

 

Travis: Shit.

 

Jasbre: Hahahahahahahha!

 

Travis: I hate you.

 

(Ian hits Elli with a ball)

 

Elli: Ooof.

 

Ian: Hahaha MOTHERFUCKER!

 

Jasbre: Ian cool it.

 

Image: Yeah bro.

 

Ian: No!

 

(Ian hits Dan out)

 

Dan: What the hell?! We’re ON THE SAME TEAM!

 

Ian: Oh yeah, that’s right.

 

SBCA: Hahahhaha you losers are hitting people on your own team.

 

Steve: Steve thinks they are failures who stole my name.

 

(Steve throws a ball but it gets eaten midair by a shark)

 

Jasbre: Ha!

 

(Jasbre throws a ball at Steve)

 

SBCA: Rocky it’s just you and me!

 

(Rocky launches a ball he gets at Golf, but Golf catches it and tries to throw it back)

 

Golf: Take this!

 

(Golf gets his hand bitten off by a shark as he goes to throw the ball, cashing everyone to pull themselves higher on the bungees)

 

Golf: AH! OH MY GOD!

 

(Rocky hits Golf in the jaw and he gets knocked unconscious)

 

Alex: Waluigi, get the medics out here for Golf we can’t suffer a lawsuit.

 

Waluigi: WAH! Sure thing!

 

(The medics arrive and bandage up Golf; Jasbre and SBCA throw balls that collide midair)

 

SBCA: Bro that was sick.

 

Jasbre: No.

 

(Jasbre gets SBCA out)

 

SBCA: Rocky it’s down to you!

 

Rocky: Oh crap really?!

 

(Rocky throws another ball and hits Image, taking her out)

 

Ian: OH NO!

 

Jasbre: Seriously, chill out.

 

Ian: WE’RE GOING TO DIE!

 

Rocky: Yeah, you really are.

 

(Rocky throws a ball but it ricochets off the wall, comes back, and hits him)

 

Rocky: That didn’t count!

 

Alex: I know.

 

(Jasbre throws a ball and gets Rocky out)

 

Rocky: Goddammit.

 

Alex: Team Steve wins for the third time in a row!

 

SBCA: way to go, Rocky.

 

Rocky: Hey! It wasn’t my fault! By the way, where the hell is Polar?

 

(No sign of Polar as the camera cuts to Team Hell in their room; Rocky confessional)

 

Rocky: Yeah, I’m voting Polar. She was gone the ENTIRE CHALLENGE.

 

(Cut to Rocky talking with SBCA, Steve, Travis, and Vanessa)

 

Rocky: Alright guys I think we should vote Polar out.

 

Vanessa: Because she was gone the whole time?

 

SBCA: Yeah.

 

Rocky: Yeah. We really can’t have that kind of disappointing team spirit here.

 

(Cut to the conference room)

 

Alex: Welcome back to another elimination ceremony Team Hell. You guys have gotten used to this, so please vote.

 

(Cut to Elli)

 

Elli: Me and Joey got a good plan.

 

(Cut to Rocky)

Rocky: Yes, I orchestrated something!

 

(Cut back to the conference room)

Alex: I have eight sticky notes, but there are nine of you. Here’s who’s not going to be eliminated today.

 

(Polar arrives)

Polar: What did I miss?

 

Rocky: Where were you?

 

Polar: On break.

Waluigi: WAH! No breaks!

 

Alex: Alright then. Rocky, Joey, Cici, Steve. You gentlemen are all safe.

 

(Elli looks pale, Polar is half asleep)

 

Alex: Elli, Vanessa, and SBCA.

 

SBCA: Score!

 

Elli: Hahahaha I’m safe again!

 

Alex: Travis, Polar, one of you two isn’t safe. But the question is who? Travis, you’ve been a DICK recently. Polar, you were missing all day and really screwed your team.

 

(Travis and Polar both look very nervous)

 

Alex: The final sticky note and last shot at safety goes to…

 

(Travis starts wiping sweat off of his face, Polar takes a huge sip from a large coke bottle)

 

Alex: Travis!

Travis: LETS GOOOOOO.

 

Alex: Polar, you are the third person eliminated. Please leave. Waluigi will escort you to the Loser’s Lounge.

Polar: Sounds fancy.

 

Waluigi: WAH!

 

(Waluigi brings Polar to the Loser’s Lounge, but it isn’t seen)

Alex: Wow even I didn’t see that one coming. Goodnight guys!