User blog:William Leonard/'Behold! Patrick In The Park!' - A WoBB Short

This is an entry for RamDarre's spin-off short contest.

Warriors of Bikini Bottom was created by Ponyo Fan.

Behold! Patrick In The Park!
(A beautiful park is spread out before us. Flowers cover the grassy landscape, and various water fountains and sculptures dot the land. A sign, 'South Tribe National Park' separates the rest of the world from this beautiful scenery. A lone starfish stands outside the park, looking at the wonderland with amazement and excitement.)

Patrick: It's... it's... beautiful.

(Eventually, our hero cannot resist the urge, and sends himself running in the general direction of the flowers.)

Patrick: Eeeeeeheeheeheeheehee!

(Our hero spends the next few minutes rolling around in a patch of petunias, before a particularly hard-boiled guard notices him and expresses his annoyance.)

Guard: What did I tell you Star! You're banned from entering the park! I'm sure the Sensei has repeated it to you enough times before.

(Patrick, in his current state of excitement, cannot remember a single time in which the Sensei had told him about his banishment from the park, a long time ago. His amazement is in fact so deep that he can not remember why he was banned from using the park in the first place. Something about a statue, and a patch of flowers. He is sure he will remember later, but for now, he can only express his befuddlement.)

Patrick: Uhhhhhhhhh... what?

Guard: Look, if you'll just let me get you out of the park, until we reach a safe distance, outside which I know you can not cause any trouble, then we can all put this behind us.

(Patrick thinks that this sounds like a reasonable deal.)

Patrick: Uh, okay.

Guard: Good.

(Hand in hand, the Guard drags Patrick out of the park. They are just behind the sign when Patrick notices a particularly wonderful patch of flowers. He cannot resist the urge to take a whiff, and puts his very invisible nose into the flowers.)

Guard: Ahem.

(Patrick takes no notice.)

Guard: Star.

(Patrick ignores the Guard's rising level of temper, and instead pushes his face further into the patch.)

Guard: STAR. FOR THE LAST TIME.

(Patrick hears the Guard telling him to follow him, and leaves the flower patch. His wonderful smelling experience has left a bunch of flowers jammed into his nostrils.)

Guard: Stop fooling around and get those flowers out of your nose. I'm sure you don't want to be reported to Sensei again.

(Patrick tries, but the flowers are firmly jammed into his nose. His attempts to get them out have given birth to a strange feeling inside him, and he suddenly lets out an almighty sneeze.)

Patrick: Uhh. Ah. Ahhah. UuuuaaaAAAAAAHHHHHH CHOOOOOOOOO.

(The sudden blast of air being expelled from his nostrils have forced the flowers out of his nose, and the sudden momentum gained from the almighty effort have sent him reeling backwards, through the air.)

Guard: Star! Wait! Don't hit the-

(The unfortunate starfish is sent flying into a massive statue, which cracks at its centre. The ginormous piece of marble flies through the air, towards a rather special patch of flowers.)

Guard: Sensei's special patch!

(Indeed it is. And as the statue flattens Sensei's specially hand-grown patch of roses, a dazed Patrick looks into the eyes of a very angry Guard.)

Patrick: Ahaha. This isn't how I was banned from the park, was it?

Guard: Take a guess.

(Patrick raises his hand, an indication that he knows the answer, but the Guard cuts him off.)

Guard: Don't answer that. You are in a LOT of trouble, Star. I'm sending you straight to the Sensei, and don't think you can do anything about it.

(Patrick thinks he can do something about it.)

Guard: Wait.

(A piece of the marble had flown into a small water fountain a few feet away, stopping the water flow. Patrick walks towards it.)

Guard: Hold on. What are you... what are you doing?

(Patrick, very carefully, moves the stone.)

Patrick: Say hello to my good friend!

(A huge burst of water erupts from the fountain, and the carefully placed stone sends the water in the general direction of the Guard, drenching him completely. Before the Guard can say anything, Patrick has already ran far away from the park.)

Patrick: I want to do that again sometime!

(The End.)

Written by William Leonard.