The Battle Of The Restaurants (ADWSS Transcript)


 * [The episode opens with Mr. Krabs watching the T.V]
 * Announcer: Are you a restaurant owner? Are you a successful restaurant owner? Are you a really really really successful restaurant owner? Are you….


 * [The announcer is hit by a spatula]
 * Mr. Krabs: Yeah?
 * Announcer: Then put your skills to the test! Come and sign up to “The Battle Of The Restaurants! Where you can win not 100 [Mr. Krabs eyes turn into cents] Not 500 [Mr. Krabs eyes turn into silver] But a whole….yes i mean a whole bag of 1 million dollars! [Mr. Krabs deflates. Pearl enters]
 * Pearl: Dad can i….*Sigh*.He just can’t stop watching them commercials can he. [Pearl leaves and re enters with a bicycle pump. She starts pumping Mr. Krabs] You know sometimes in life i think to myself. “Why have all the money when he only takes it for himself”. Were gonna get on just fine……. [Pearl is finished pumping Mr. Krabs back to normal] There you go dad. Now i’m gonna do girly things…
 * Mr. Krabs: Thanks pearly.
 * [Mr. Krabs continues watching the commercial]
 * Pearl: Whatever….
 * [Pearl leaves]
 * Announcer: Just head on over to the Bikini Bottom Restaurant Museum and sign up now! Be quick there are only 4 places left!


 * Mr. Krabs: 4!?


 * [Mr. Krabs dashes out of the house and runs to the Bikini Bottom Museum. He approaches the front desk]


 * Woman: Yes how….


 * Mr. Krabs: I would like to sign up for the Battle Of The Restaurants please.


 * Woman: Heres the forms.


 * [She hands Mr. Krabs the forums]


 * Mr. Krabs: Thanks!


 * [Mr. Krabs scribbles as fast as he can and hands the forums back to the lady]


 * Woman: Thanks. Just follow the sign over there and you will be there in no time.


 * Mr. Krabs: Thanks!


 * Woman: Good luck!


 * [Mr. Krabs follows the sign to the where the event is taking place]


 * Mr. Krabs: Wow this is hu…..hu..hu..huhuhuhuhu….


 * [Mr. Krabs spots a green organism and walks over to it angry]


 * Plankton: Hmph….Krabs!


 * Mr. Krabs: Hmph...Plankton!


 * [Johnny from The Shining appears]
 * Johnny: And don’t forget Johnny!!


 * Mr. Krabs: Don’t you have a woman to scare!?


 * [Mr. Krabs pushes him out the door]


 * Plankton: And don’t come back!


 * [Mr Krabs comes back to the arena]


 * Mr. Krabs: So Plankton we meet again after all these years!!


 * Plankton: I stole your formula yesterday you twit!


 * Mr. Krabs: Ah but you're small and non the wiser.


 * Plankton: Look just make way so i can cheer over your loss!
 * Mr. Krabs: What loss? I only see you crying in shame….


 * Plankton: Why? it’s you who will be loosing!


 * Mr. Krabs: Ah but you forgot the bit where the Judges read the slip wrong and it says my name instead!


 * Plankton: Your funny. You seem one of the “Easy to Give In Types”. This is an advantage to me.


 * Mr. Krabs: Oh your…..


 * Announcer: Ladies and Gentlemen! Welcome to Battle Of The Restaurants with your host  Gene Scallop!
 * Gene: Thank you. Ok so today we will see 12 brave restaurant owners go head to head for the challenge of the century. You will experience a battle like no other! Ok so each person will cook their most signature dish or should i say the most popular dish in there restaurant. If it pleases the judges there in. But if not then that’s the end of them. So who are the contenders then? First up it’s Joesph Butterfish from Ocean Town, Indian Ocean!!


 * Joe: Thank you Gene! I must say this is really.....


 * Narrator: One long introduction later……


 * [The card comes up and moves to the next scene]


 * Mr. Krabs: Hello


 * Gene: Hello. Welcome.


 * Mr. Krabs: I’m Eugene Krabs!


 * Gene: Pleasure to meet you.


 * Mr. Krabs: I like money!


 * Gene: Sure you do!


 * Mr. Krabs: I’m Eugene Krabs!


 * Gene: Ummmm…. Mr. Krabs: I like money!


 * Gene: Yeah…..good luck with that.


 * [Scene zooms into Plankton]


 * Plankton: Hehe Krabs won’t be laughing for long when i get my eyes on the prize!


 * Gene: And…………….BEGIN!!!


 * [Each person rushes to their station to prepare their famous dishes. They flip burgers, boil potatoes and other ways of cooking. A time card comes up as a way to censor the Krabby Patty formula]


 * Narrator: 2 hours later.


 * Gene: Ok contenders it’s time to stop what you are doing as it is tasting time! Please put your tools down as we make our way OW! Something bit me!


 * [Plankton is putting a hypnotising chip on Gene Scallop. Gene looks around and finds nothing]


 * Plankton: Hehehehehe!


 * Gene: I’m sure something bit me? Oh well it’s probably a mosquito or something. Anyways it’s time to taste! Let’s start with Joe's signature dish!


 * [Gene tries the meal]


 * Joe: So how was it?


 * Gene: Ugh too much salt and the meat was undercooked!


 * Joe: But…..but….but you have always loved my dishes! Remember your first visit to my restaurant!?


 * Gene: NEXT!


 * [He tastes a girl’s dish]


 * Girl: Did you like it?


 * Gene: You should get a job at Trash A La Carte!


 * [He laughs]


 * Mr. Krabs: Wow since when has he all of a sudden become so harsh?


 * Girl: Your so mean!!


 * Gene: Well poor you…. I’m the best you’ve got!!!


 * Mr. Krabs: Somethings not right……..


 * [The girl cries. Gene continues to taste the contestants dishes]


 * Gene: Terrible, awful, belongs in the bin, makes me want to vomit!, my stomach is unhappy, yucky, you don’t deserve to cook.


 * [Gene finally reaches Plankton and Mr. Krabs and tastes Mr. Krabs dish]


 * Mr. Krabs: I think i know what’s going on.


 * Gene: Were you trained in a farm!? That is the most unappetising meal i have ever had the pain to endure! Your out!!!! Don’t even bother coming back!!!!!!


 * Mr. Krabs: Gotcha!


 * [Gene tries Plankton dish. Before he puts in his mouth he hears a noise. Mr. Krabs removes the chip and throws it away]]


 * Gene: Yeowch! I think the bug bit me again! This place must be infested! [Gene turns around to check] Hmmm nothing. Oh well


 * Plankton: Are you ready Gene?


 * Gene: Sure am!


 * [He lifts it up to taste it but as soon as he smells it he puts the spoon away]


 * Plankton: Are you ok?


 * Gene: OK!? OK!!??? I JUST HAD A SPOONFUL OF ABSOLUTE GARBAGE PUT INTO MY MOUTH AND YOUR ASKING ME IF I’M OK!!!!!!????. NOT ONLY ARE YOU DISQUALIFIED FROM THE COMPETITION BUT YOU HAVE CAUSED ME AND THE STAFF A WHOLE LOAD OF PAIN. GET OUT OF HERE AS SOON AS OR YOU ARE ARRESTED ON SUSPICION OF VIOLENCE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


 * [Gene passes out]


 * Plankton: I knew he had too much coffee……..


 * Mr. Krabs: Yeah probably. Anyways are you ready?


 * Plankton: For wh…..Oooh i get you!


 * [They run out the building and out into the sunset running as fast as they can before Gene wakes up. The episode ends]