Let's See Them Tupacs!

"Let's See Them Tupacs!" is a Season 2 episode of Life in Bikini Bottom.

Characters
Incomplete.
 * SpongeCock
 * Fatrick
 * Fricky
 * Sully
 * Shitward
 * Assy
 * Eugene
 * William Goldfein
 * Ronnie Snickersnee

Synopsis
The gang goes to the surface to raid Area 51 because they think Tupac Shakur is there. Believing he’ll be replaced by a pet alien, Sully tries to stop them.

Transcript
Episode begins with SpongeCock playing Call of Booty with Sully. “Goddamn it, Sully, how are you so good at this?” “I don’t know. I’m a fricking god!” “It’s okay, dude. We have the D rating. We can say fuck.” “Ah, okay.”

As Sully continues to destroy SpongeCock, Fatrick comes in.

“Yo, Fatrick. Come play Sully in COB. He’ll beat your ass!” Fatrick has a deadpan expression. “SpongeCock, I have changed my name to Fatprick.” SpongeCock and Sully start laughing and say that it’s definitely an accurate name. “But what was wrong with Fatprick?” “Not explicit enough. I can’t believe we didn’t think of this before. I was originally gonna change it to Fatdick, but, Fatprick it is.” “Eh. Whatever.”

Fatprick goes to kitchen to get some ice cream cake as the Call of Booty match ends. Sully won 89-6. “How about another?” Sully suggests, as SpongeCock grins in agreement. However, Fatprick comes in and changes the channel. “I want to see some sea coral in action!” He exclaims, but Sully and SpongeCock get mad. “Fatrick- I mean Fatprick! We were gonna play more COB!” “Oops.” Fatprick turns to Coral TV, however, a news flash comes up.

“Hello, everybody, I’m Ronnie Snickersnee with some breaking news! A Facecock callout has been made, involving the storming of Area 51, the highly secret and protected Air Force training facility in Nevada, in the United States. Many theories claim that Area 51 is hiding aliens from the public, which was the main motive for this event.”

Our whole universe was in a G and PG state

Then nearly fourteen billion years ago was inappropriate, wait

Fatrick shit a stool, Shitward began to drool

They invented crap that rules

We built a great, great wall (we started cursing)

Shit, titties bursting, unraveling the coercing

''This is Life in Bikini Bottom! PG-13!''

“What a joke!” Sully says. “No one’s gonna invade Area 51. Right guys? Uhh, guys?” SpongeCock and Fatprick seem to be hypnotized by the announcement. “Guys, snap out of it!” SpongeCock and Fatprick are now back to reality and are unaware of their surroundings. “You two don’t actually believe this crap, right? No one has the balls to actually pull this through.” The two look at each other and laugh. “Of course not. ‘Let’s see them aliens?’ ‘Naruto run?’ No one’s actually gonna buy-”

“Breaking news!,” Snickersnee proclaims again. “The Facecock call to raid Area 51 has reached over 1.4 million signatures. This has prompted the US Air Force to issue a statement upon the rapid growth of this movement.”

Scene cuts to an Air Force chief of staff, David L. Goldfein. “What the hell is this bullshit? This is a highly maintained range, goddamnit! No one shall trespass Area 51, or else!” “... or else what?” Snickersnee asks. “Exactly!” Goldfein fires back. “Don’t invade our shit!”

“You heard Snickersnee, Fatprick! Let’s join the rebellion!” SpongeCock exclaims. Sully turns red, as his blood is literally boiling. “I refuse to believe you guys are that stupid. These people are risking their lives to go through with something that is so stupid to ever be true.” “Yeah, maybe you’re right.” “I’m out of ice cream cake. “Then go to the kitchen, fatass.” Sully now seems to be relaxed. “Good. Glad to see you haven’t been totally brainwashed. Now if you excuse me, I’m gonna go fap on Fricky’s bed.”

Cuts to 2am, where SpongeCock and Fatprick are sleeping. SpongeCock seems to be dreaming about him raiding Area 51 and coming across a multitude of aliens. He thinks about which one he should take, but then something else catches his eyes - a frozen Tupac Shakur. He goes and melts him, and he realizes that Tupac never died and that he was simply held in Area 51 for research purposes. Then it cuts to him hanging out and making an album with Tupac once he’s underwater. The scene ends with him waking up.

“Fatprick, Fatprick! Wake up! We need to talk.” Fatprick wakes up with a dildo in his mouth that he spits out. “What?” SpongeCock begins to explain. “I’m starting to think that the Area 51 raid is real and manageable. All we have to do is assemble everyone in Bikini Bottom, along with everyone from the surface world, and we can Naruto run past them while all the Kyles and Karens distract the guards. Then, we take over from the inside, and boom! We have access to all of the aliens we want.” “Yes! I can use one as a toilet to shit in!” “Wait, wait, I’m not done. You know how Tupac ‘died’ back in ‘96?” “He did? I thought he was still alive.” “Indeed he is. He’s being held captive in Area 51. After he was shot, the Air Force revived him took him to their base to run tests on him.” “Huh! It all makes sense! We need to go get everyone we can!”

They are now at Shitward’s house, who is blowing on his tube. “Shitward! We have news!” “Yo asses finna move?” “Uhh…. no.” Fatprick begins to tell him everything. “We finna raid Area 51 so we can get all the ice cream cake in the world!” Shitward begins to laugh. “Area 51? Hell nah. I ain’t risking my life for that. I ain’t goin down like Tupac.” “Uhh, funny that you bring that up, Shitward. We actually think that Tupac is being held there. He never died. He’s just held captive.” “Damn, a legend! I don’t know, man. That’s tough. I want to see him, but I just don’t know.” “I’ll pay you 100 grand.” “Deal!”

After convincing everyone in Bikini Bottom that Tupac is in Area 51, plus they can steal some aliens, all of them are marching to a private jet to take to the Area 51. “Guys, this will be tough,” SpongeCock says. “But we can-” SpongeCock is cut off as Sully comes and pushes him out of the way. “No fucking way. All of you believe this dude?” “Hell yeah!” Eugene Kraps says. “I need an alien to count me profits.” “Hopefully I can get a banging one for the club,” the club owner says. “Aliens? Listen to yourself. There are an ali- Wait. SpongeCock. You wouldn’t get an alien to replace me, would you?” “Of course n-“ “NO! I DON’T WANNA HEAR IT!” Sully says, as he bursts into tears. “Sully what are you talki-“ “Don’t talk to me. It’s clear that you don’t want me!” Sully starts to limp back to the Pinyapple. “I don’t know what his problem is,” Fricky says, “also he left weird white stuff on my bed! Ew!” SpongeCock puts a leader face back on. “Move forward!”

Sully is sobbing while sitting in the Pinyapple. “Why would SpongeCock replace me with a stupid alien? I’ve cleaned up Fatprick’s toilet for him, I’ve played COB with him when nobody wouldn’t, and I helped him record an album! You know what! No more holding back! I’m gonna stop these damn fools.” Sully then activates a button to open his secret storage room where a lot of Call of Booty-like accessories, weapons, and armor are stored. A montage of him putting them on is being shown. “Yeah! Stage one complete. Now time for stage two!”

Scene cuts to Sully taking a rocket to Area 51. He walks to one of the guards, who aims a gun at him. “No trespassers!” “Woah, chill dude. Do you know where I can apply to be a guard here?” “Oh. Ask Goldfein. If you’re a snitch then you’ll immediately get the job.” Sully nods and hurries into Golfein’s office, quickly talking out of breath. “A huge attack from Bikini Bottom is gonna storm Area 51 and I know everyone in the raid and I can stop them so I can be a guard!” “Woah. Okay. I like snitches. But slow the hell down. Anyway, we’ve been expecting a raid for the last 2 months now. Ever since that think on Facebook was made-” Sully interrupts before he can finish. “Wait. You mean Facecock.” “Facecock? That sounds like a dirty hookup app. Where did you get that from?” “Uh, nevermind. Just give me the job.” “Alright. You’re hired. You can start on Saturday.” Sully is happy, but then quickly thinks about what he just told him. “Saturday the 21st? But the raid is on the 20th!” “Either you got the job or you don’t.” “Okay then. I guess I don’t. Bye.” Goldfein stares emotionless. “Well that was weird. He looked like one of our aliens that escaped. In fact…” Golfein looks up a picture of the alien in question, and he looks exactly like Sully. His name is Exodus 69. “69! Hold up you creep!”

Sully continues walking in the corridor as guards tackle him. “What the fuck dude?!” “Exodus!” Golfein says. “We finally caught you. Lock him up, boys. He won’t be escaping again any time soon.” “What, no! This must be a mix-up! I’m a squid, not an alien!” “That’s what they all say.” “Goddamnit! SpongeCock, hurry!”

Scene cuts to SpongeCock, Fatprick, Shitward, and Kraps in the front of the private jet. “Uh, SpongeCock?” Kraps asks, “did you get us some water helmets?” SpongeCock, who was writing some notes down, drops his clipboard and pen while screaming “OH SHIT!” Title card flashes “3 days later,” as the group is back where they were before. “Welp, that’s three days we’ll never get back. We should still be there in time for…” SpongeCock stops as everyone looks out the window to see them flying right over Las Vegas. “Oooh, can we make a pit stop!” Kraps says, “I wanna bag me some hoes to bring back to the strip club!” Shitward also agrees, as he says “I want to gamble so I can get me some moneys.” Fatprick nods his head as well. “I really need to take a dump.” “Bitch, you already took your 2 o’clock dump! We have a bathroom on this jet!” “I clogged it.” “Ugh! Guys we can’t keep making stops! We have to be at Area 51 tomorrow!” Everyone aboard, however, is giving puppy eyes, so SpongeCock lands in Vegas.

2 hours later…

“SpongeCock, I lost all my money,” Shitward says. “SpongeCock, I had sex 7 times already,” Kraps says. At that time, a wave of shit floods Vegas. “Oh, SpongeCock! I flooded the city with me shit! I need some ice cream cake!” “Fatprick, you didn’t learn ANYTHING from the Fatshit incident!? And from all the community service you had to do for it? “ “Honestly, yellow shit. No I did not.” “Okay, fatasses, we need to go.”

Sully is shown in his cage at Area 51. A guard comes by and shoves some food through a hole. “What the hell is this?” Sully says, almost frightened. “You should know, 69. It’s cat litter with dog piss.” “For the last fucking time, dude, I’M A SQUID! NOT AN ALIEN!” The guard gets mad and turns to another one. “Taser, please?” He hands him the taser and shocks Sully. “That’ll teach him a lesson.”

“Okay guys, here we are.” SpongeCock proclaims. Area 51. We shall…” SpongeCock stops mid-sentence as they get attacked by a missile launch. Everyone falls out. “Oh. There were expecting us.” SpongeCock coughs as he’s trying to get the dust out of his lungs. The crew creeps over to the front where they are hyping up the millions of people that will be there. “These people will all help us find Tupac!” “Wait, Tupac?” Assy says. “I wanted an alien to clean my didlo anually.” “Yeah. I wanted an alien to help me steal a weed pat-“ Bastard says but is crushed by Kraps. “Whatever.” SpongeCock says. He opens his eyes to only see about 7 people in sleeping bags at the Area 51 entrance. “What? I thought that- ugh. Come on guys, too late to turn around now.” SpongeCock marches over to wake up one of the people there. “Dude, it’s September 20th. Time to invade Area 51.” The guy immediately wakes up. “Oh my god, it’s time! Man your stations, everyone.” “Wait, dude! Where is everyone? I thought millions of people wanted to do this?” “Yeah, but they pussied out. Too scared. Anyway, guys, attack! Throw your ender pearls in and place your beds for respawn!” The seven people go in and immediately get shot down by the guards. “Oh.” Shitward says. “I’m going home now…” Fatprick says. “No. We came this far! Ladies and gentlemen, for Tupac!” Everyone shouts and charges the base. Some of the background Bikini Bottomites get shot down on the initial breakthrough, but that’s it as everyone else comes in.

Wait so what are we looking for?” SpongeCock repeats his plan. “Wait, Tupac? I wanted to find a disinfectant spray that kills 100% of germs!” Dr. Nick says. “Look, shut up! There’s a guard.” The guard turns to face him and shoots what looks to be a futuristic AK-47, but Fatprick upgrades into a mega fatness and reflects the bullet to make it hit the guard. The guard instantly dies as Fatrick unmutates.

A montage ensues (yes, I was too lazy to explain everything that happened) of the gang wiping out all of the guards and unlocking the cage of each alien. Sully remains in his cage, as the gang keeps passing him by without notice. SpongeCock keeps looking for Tupac as all of the other main characters find the aliens that they want. Eventually, everyone is tired as one guard remains.

“Listen here, dick! Give me all the ice cream cake you have!” Fatrick starts. “And give me a toilet that never backs up?” SpongeCock pushes him out of the way and asks that he doesn’t interfere with the plan. “Alright, man. Would you happen to have any rappers that you took for research purposes who you told the public was “deceased?” Heh? Do you? Show us!” “Okay, okay, calm your tits.” “But I am calm!” “I know. But your tits aren’t. WAYYY too perky there!” “Huh?” “Haha, just kidding man. Anyway, here you. One of the great legends of hip-hop.” “Oh my god,” SpongeCock whispers, “they have Tupac! I’m gonna make all the songs with him that I want!” The guard overhears him and makes a deadpan expression. “Tupac? No. I was talking about XXXTENTACION. Here you go.” X comes out of a portal and starts doing ad-libs. “X? But I wanted Tupa-“ “Tupac’s in Malaysia, dude. We don’t have him. Anyway just kill me so we can end this.” SpongeCock shoots the guard and takes X with him. “No offense, man, but you’re not the Tupac of this generation. Although I do love your music too…” “That last sentence was all I needed to hear.”

SpongeCock keeps talking with X as he starts to hear screams from the distance. “Wait! That sounded like!” SpongeCock notices as X interrupts him. “Me on my scream rap songs?” “No! It’s Sully! SULLY!” SpongeCock starts running “No, dude, come back!” X says, “I need to tell you how I didn’t beat Geneva up!” Sully keeps banging on his cage bars as SpongeCock comes and frees him. “Sully what happened? I thought you were at home?” “Actually, I wanted to come here to stop you guys.” “Why?” “Well, I thought you guys were gonna replace me with an alien pet. Because, you know, aliens are so much better than squids. But it looks like you did because you brought this dude.” X realizes Sully is referring to him as he shows a deadpan expression. SpongeCock starts laughing. Sully starts chuckling too. “Oh, you thought that was a good joke? Then you’d love to hear this one!” “No, Sully. A pet alien? Hell no! I set this up so we could get Tupac.” “Oh. Really? So you weren’t trying to replace me?” “Of course not. I fucking love you man.” Sully and SpongeCock start hugging as Fatprick comes in and sees X. “Oh my god! It’s Jah! Let me shit in your mouth!” Which causes everyone to open their eyes wide open.

The episode cuts to SpongeCock, Fatprick, Sully, Fricky, and X all at home. “Well, it’s great to be back home. And to have a great musician like X here.” “Ayy! Yuh! This shit’s fire!” The news turns on as Snickersnee is shown. “Breaking news! Area 51 has been invaded by several Bikini Bottomites! Several aliens have been brought back, as well as rapper and singer XXXTENTACION, who everyone thought was deD.” “Yup. We did it guys!” SpongeCock says. “But in other breaking news, rapper Tupac Shakur has been found in Malaysia. According to sources, the rapper was never killed, and instead, faked his death to immigrate to Malaysia.” The scene zooms in on X, who is there laughing. “It’s alright, guys. You got me. Let’s go meet my man Ski Mask!” However, the scene zooms out, to see everyone gone and the door open. “I’m gonna go write another song about how I’m innocent.”

SpongeCock is seen flying another jet with everyone else kidnapped. “Next stop, Malaysia!,” as the episode ends.