User blog:MrScience12/Pantsed

NOTE: Though this particular blog episode of Sworn to Secrecy does not include any PG content, the majority of this spin-off and all of its attributes do have PG content, therefore the PG rating is only a warning if one chooses to read other blog episodes and/or other Sworn to Secrecy related content such as episodes, etc.

Sworn to Secrecy presents Pantsed.

Transcript

 * [short begins at the agency inside of SpongeBob's office; Squidward, Sandy, and Patrick are all also in there, trying to solve a case]


 * SpongeBob: Well, this just doesn't add up. If the narcotics were inside of the cake already, then Joseph would have known about it and tried to prevent it.


 * Sandy: Unless he was bribed or forced to carry out the plan.


 * Squidward: Where's the evidence of that?


 * SpongeBob: Don't you just love the government law enforcement system? You always need some evidence.


 * Sandy: It's just how life works.


 * Patrick: Not unless you don't work here. Am I right?


 * SpongeBob: Life applies to every occupation, Patrick.


 * Patrick: And we start living outside of our occupation.


 * Oscar: [walks in] Well, you start working in your occupation. Look alive, agents. I have a job for you.


 * SpongeBob: Do you hear that Squidward? Look alive.


 * Squidward: Say that again and you won't just not look alive.


 * Oscar: Are we done with our senseless bickering? I hope so, because this case is personal. Someone broke into my house last night and stole some important files.


 * Sandy: Who don't you have a fancy security system like the rest of us?


 * Oscar: Do you know how hard it is to get a fancy security system on an espionage bureau chairman's sallary?


 * [the team looks at Oscar strangely]


 * Oscar: Okay. I haven't had the time on an espionage bureau chairman's schedule.


 * [the team display sounds of agreement with Oscar's statement]


 * Oscar: Now, this is the real kicker. The important files they stole weren't in the open. They were...in my pants.


 * [the team begin laughing hysterically]


 * SpongeBob: [laughing] You weren't wearing them, were you? [continues laughing]


 * Oscar: [laughs] Ha! You guys are right. Unemployment is funny. [the rest of the team stop laughing] What? Heard that one before? Anyway, I gathered this security footage of the possible criminal. [places disc into computer on desk]


 * [computer shows a figure, sneaking into Oscar's closet and taking a pair of folded pants]


 * SpongeBob: Whoa whoa whoa. Rewind that back. [rewinds footage; stops at frontal view of the figure] There we go! Serial code "8345-SPY-CORP", obviously from the Secret Principal of Yousef or SPY.


 * Oscar: Well then, get over there and get my pants back.


 * SpongeBob: Yes, sir! [team begins to depart the room] Don't worry, Oscar. We will do a good job overall. [rest of team laughs; SpongeBob exits the room]


 * Oscar: I wonder if it's too late to send him back to the academy for four more years.


 * [scene cuts to the outside of the SPY agency; the team are standing in front of the building]


 * Squidward: Okay. Let's get in and bust some craniums and get our boss's pants back.


 * SpongeBob: We can't just barge into an agency bigger than ours. We're possibly outmanned and we're probably being monitored right now. We need to work out a plan.


 * Sandy: Like what?


 * [scene cuts to SpongeBob, walking in the agency; SpongeBob arrives at a large office space]


 * SpongeBob: [knocks on the door] Part of the plan. Part of the plan.


 * Manager: [opens door] Do I know you?


 * SpongeBob: Aren't you great at first impressions? [holds up badge] I'm from the Espionage and Reconnaisance Group of Bikini Bottom. You're not in any trouble.


 * Manager: I better not be or else there will be trouble.


 * SpongeBob: I'm here to borrow some clothes for an undercover mission I'm doing in Ukelele Bottom.


 * Manager: Well, you're in luck. We have a bunch of clothes in our storage. Yousef Bassman, chairman of the Secret Principle of Yousef organization.


 * SpongeBob: SpongeBob SquarePants, employee of the ERGBB organization. Too bad we don't have a cool acronym for our company like you guys.


 * Yousef: Once in a liftetime thing. So, let's look at what we have. [opens large closet full of clothing]


 * SpongeBob: Whoa. That's a lot of clothes. You know, I actually have a shirt, yet I don't have a single covert pair of pants. Do you have any?


 * Yousef: Why yes. We have green pants, long pants, short pants. Even reversal pants, but that's another story.


 * SpongeBob: Hmm. [points to Oscar's pants] How about those pants?


 * Yousef: Oh, that's my dry cleaning.


 * SpongeBob: So you keep your dry cleaning in a white, air-tight seal?


 * Yousef: I think you're not here to receive any espionage clothing.


 * SpongeBob: And I don't think those pants are your dry cleaning. [punches Yousef to ground; opens seal and takes pants] These pants don't belong to you.


 * Yousef: And you don't belong in my agency. [stands up; presses button] So get out!


 * [SpongeBob and Yousef headlock; the rest of the team enter the office; Patrick arrests Yousef]


 * Patrick: Yousef Bassman, you're under arrest for breaking and entering, stealing of possessions, the list goes on. [takes Yousef out of office]


 * SpongeBob: What do you think that button does? [points to button]


 * Sandy: Don't know. Maybe the lockdown label above it answers the question.


 * [punch is heard from outside office]


 * Patrick: [sent back into office] Oof. He escaped.


 * Squidward: And we're on lockdown.


 * Patrick: Well, that's just great. [grabs tissue; wipes nose] What do we do now?


 * SpongeBob: Escape to the ducts...as in now! Security will be here any minute! [knocks down ladder from the air vent; team begins climbing ladder] Let's go! Come on!


 * [all of team make it up ladder]


 * Patrick: Looks like we're staying here for a while.


 * SpongeBob: [sighs; holds up pants] This mission just got a little more cacky.


 * [To be continued; short ends]