A Krusty Karol

After threatening to ruin Christmas for his employees, Mr. Krabs receives visitors from beyond the grave.

Chapter 1
Eugene Harold Krabs had been watching his phone with anticipation since the moment he entered his office. It was the last day of business before Krabs closed up shop for the holidays, and he couldn’t wait to hear from his darling daughter Pearl. She had just completed her first semester of college, and she told Krabs she’d call him as soon as her plane landed in Bikini Bottom. Krabs couldn’t wait to spend Christmas with his daughter since her leaving left a void that all of the money in the ocean wouldn’t fill. The lonely nights at home had taken a toll on the old crab, and he hoped Pearl’s return would put a spring back in his step.

Krabs’ heart nearly stopped when he heard the first ring, and he was quick to wrap his claw around the phone and pick it up.

“Pearl?” Krabs squealed.

Pearl didn’t sound nearly as excited as Krabs.

“Daddy, I’ve got some bad news,” she said.

Krabs frowned. “What happened?”

“The plane had to stop somewhere in Bass Vegas due to bad weather. I won’t be coming home tonight.”

“Will you at least make it home by Christmas?”

“I don’t know. It’s pretty bad out there. People are saying it’s the storm of the century.”

“Well…you just stay safe out there. Okay?”

“I will.”

Krabs hung up the phone, heartbroken.

“Storm of the century!” he huffed. “Out of all the years it could have happened, it had to be this one!”

Krabs looked at a photo at the corner of his desk of him and a female crab holding a baby whale, and he turned it over. He walked out of his office and saw that the restaurant was empty.

“Where are all me customers?” Krabs wondered.

“They’re probably Christmas shopping. Christmas is in three days, you know,” Squidward reminded him.

“All of those fancy malls with their fancy food courts are takin’ all of me business! To make up for the lost income, we’ll be working every day this week!” Krabs declared.

“Even Christmas?” SpongeBob peeked out of the kitchen window, concerned.

“Especially Christmas,” Krabs said. “I’ll be putting up posters everywhere. The Krusty Krab: Open even on Christmas day! Imagine all the extra money it’ll make me from the people too lazy to cook their own food during the holidays!”

“Your greed has officially gone too far!” Squidward shouted. “There is no way I’m working on Christmas! It’s bad enough having to work for you the other 364 days!”

“And 365 on leap years!” SpongeBob chimed in.

“Shut up, SpongeBob.”

“If you don’t come on Christmas, don’t bother ever coming to work again,” Krabs said.

“Gladly!” Squidward responded, throwing off his Krusty Krab employee hat and leaving the restaurant.

“Oh no! Squidward quit…again!” SpongeBob exclaimed.

“We’re better off without him,” Krabs said.

“I’m sorry, but he’s right. We can’t work on Christmas. I’m having my parents over and I was really looking forward to spending time with them,” SpongeBob said.

“Not you too! This is mutiny, is what it is! If I don’t see you here on Christmas, you’ll be spending the rest of the year in the unemployment line with Mr. Tentacles!”

“No! Please don’t do that! I’ll just have to tell my parents I’ll be coming in late that day.”

“Good!”

Krabs, feeling good about himself, returned to his office and spent the rest of the day listening to KRUM and counting money. Money, the one thing in Krabs’ life that was consistent, that never left him, that never betrayed him.

Krabs was still counting money in his room that night. Once he started to feel tired, he lay down on his hammock and began to close his eyes. Suddenly, his window flew open and the breeze caused Krabs to shiver. As he approached the window, a green mist came out of the floorboards behind him. He slammed the window shut, turned around, and saw the culmination of that green mist.

“The Flying Dutchman!” he gasped.

The Flying Dutchman cackled. “Here in the flesh! Well, not in the flesh, but you know what I mean.”

“Are you here to take me soul?”

“Nah. I’ve gotten enough headaches trying to do that. Right now, I’m here to warn ye. You’ve been a scrooge, Krabs, and it’s high time you paid for it!”

“Paid for it? How?”

“You will be visited by three – count ‘em – three spirits! One tonight, one tomorrow, and one the day after!”

“Can’t I just do them all at once?”

“No! That’s not how it works! After the spirits visit, you’ll be given a choice: change your nasty old ways or suffer the consequences!”

“Consequences worse than being haunted by ghosts?”

“Much worse!”

Krabs trembled as the Flying Dutchman’s scream echoed through the room.

“My work here is finished,” the Flying Dutchman continued. “Expect the first ghost when the clock strikes one!”

The Flying Dutchman disappeared in an explosion of green mist. Krabs rubbed his eyes, not believing what he had just seen,

“Spirits? What a load of barnacles,” he muttered, laying back down in his hammock and falling asleep minutes later.

Chapter 2
Krabs was awoken by the sound of his window opening and closing. He squinted at the clock on the other side of the room. 12:58. The ghosts must be fashionably early, Krabs thought to himself. The window began to open and close faster as the hand of the clock moved to 12:59. Krabs began to feel unease. The opening and closing of the window matched the ticking and tocking of the clock until the big hand and little hand were both on the 1 and the window shut close firmly.

“That’s it? I ain’t afraid of you ghosts!” Krabs shouted.

“Well, that’s good to hear, ‘cause we’ll be spending a lot of time together,” the Ghost of Christmas Past, who was now floating besides Krabs, said.

Krabs nearly rolled out of his hammock. “Are you the visitor Dutchie predicted?”

“The one and only! Come on! I have some things to show you!”

“While I’d love to, I should really get going back to sleep.”

“Nonsense!”

The ghost grabbed Krabs’ arm and took him towards the window, which opened again just for them.

Krabs panicked. “Are ye insane?”

“Nope,” the ghost said as they jumped out the window and found themselves in a primitive version of the Krusty Krab.

“Hey, this is the first year me restaurant was open!” Krabs realized. “There’s Squidward at the register and Jim behind the grill! There are also some wintery decorations. This must be right before we closed for Christmas.”

“Yeah, remember when you did that?” the ghost quipped.

A young, female crab walked into the restaurant. Krabs’ eyes widened.

“Can it be?” Krabs whispered.

“Welcome to the Krusty Krab, home of the Krabby Patty. May I take your order?” Squidward said with a lack of enthusiasm.

“I just want a salad, thanks,” the woman said.

“I’m afraid I don’t know what that is,” Squidward replied.

“You don’t know what a salad is?” The woman scoffed. “I’d like to speak to the manager, please.”

“Krabs!” Squidward called out.

“What’s wrong, me bucko?” A younger Krabs peeked out of his office.

The old Krabs jumped at the sight of his younger self. “Man, I’ve really put on weight since then.”

“What kind of place are you running here?” the woman asked the bewildered young Krabs.

“Whaddya mean?” the young Krabs said.

“I’ve never heard of an eating establishment that didn’t sell salads.”

“What’s a sal-ad?”

The woman rolled her eyes. “You know what? Forget it. A friend recommended this place to me, but it obviously doesn’t have its act together yet. Thanks for nothing.”

The woman began to leave, but the younger Krabs was quick to stop her.

“Wait a minute, wait a minute. What’s yer name?” he asked her.

“Becky. Why?”

“I feel like we got off on the wrong foot, Becky. The last thing a new restaurant like this one needs is bad word o’ mouth. You tell me what’s in this salad, and I’ll have one made special for you.”

“Really? Th-thanks.”

“Squidward! Jim! Go home!” the young Krabs demanded. “I’ll take it from here!”

“You don’t have to tell me twice,” Squidward said, stepping out of his boat.

“I guess Christmas break is starting early for us, huh, Squid?” Jim said, folding up his hat and walking out of the kitchen.

Suddenly, Krabs and the ghost were in the living room of an apartment.

“Huh? Where are we? Or more appropriately, when are we?” Krabs asked.

“Don’t you remember? It’s your old apartment,” the ghost responded. “One year later. Your first Christmas with Becky as husband and wife.”

“Oh, yeah.” Krabs smiled. “That was after the wedding me and Becky had in the summer. We had only been dating for a couple of months before that, but we knew it was love and we didn’t want to put it off any longer. One of the happiest moments of my life.”

The younger Krabs and Becky walked out of their bedroom.

“Okay, Eugene, it’s finally Christmas. Can you tell me what you got me now?” Becky asked.

“Close your eyes.”

Becky closed her eyes, and the young Krabs took out a necklace made out of pearls. He put it carefully over her head.

Becky giggled. “Can I open my eyes now?”

“Yes.”

Becky opened her eyes, and when she saw the pearls around her neck, she almost stopped breathing.

“These must have cost you a fortune!” she said.

“Every penny was worth it to see that on you. Pearls for my pearl,” the young Krabs said.

The older Krabs started to tear up. As he blinked the tears away, he watched the room change into one at a hospital. The younger Krabs was crying now, too, sitting next to a hospital bed containing Becky.

“Of course,” the old Krabs said. “Follow up my best Christmas ever with my worst Christmas ever. The same disease that kept me wife from having children took me wife that night. Pearl was so young when we adopted her that she doesn’t even remember her mother.”

“Please don’t go,” the young Krabs managed to choke out. “I don’t want this to be the last Christmas we have together.”

Becky held Krabs’ claws in hers. “It won’t be. I’ll always be with you and Pearl in spirit.”

“One spirit I’d actually like talking to,” the old Krabs said.

“Hey! I’m right here!” the ghost reminded him.

“I know.”

The young Krabs wiped away his tears. “I’ll make sure to raise her right. Pearl, I mean. I’ll make sure to make you proud.”

“I know you will,” Becky said before going into a fit of coughing.

“I can’t take any more of this,” the old Krabs said. “I want to go back. I want to go back!”

“Very well,” the ghost said.

Krabs was back in his room a moment later. Despite feeling anxious about what he’d been though, he had no trouble falling back asleep, and he wouldn’t wake up until just before one the next night, just in time to meet his second visitor.

Chapter 3
It was six in the morning. SpongeBob walked to the Krusty Krab, but for the second day in a row, it was locked.

“Krabs?” SpongeBob called out.

After waiting 30 minutes, SpongeBob walked to Krabs’ house and knocked on his door.

“Krabs? Where are you?” SpongeBob screamed.

SpongeBob ran to Squidward’s house and knocked on his door next. Squidward, who was dancing to a Tiny Tim album, growled and headed to the door.

“What do you want?” Squidward said when he opened it.

“It’s Krabs! He’s still missing!”

“So?”

“He could be hurt! I’m worried.”

“If he’s hurt, that’s just karma catching up to him. Why do you care so much, anyway? He’s a skinflint and a scoundrel.”

“That’s not true! He’s a good man! He just…has trouble showing it.”

What SpongeBob and Squidward didn’t know was that Krabs was right above them with the Ghost of Christmas Present at his side.

“Is the sponge boy right?” the ghost asked him.

Krabs didn’t answer. He didn’t know the answer.

“What about him making you work with your parents over? He has a girl himself! He should know how important family time is!” Squidward said.

“What about your family?” SpongeBob asked.

Squidward lowered his head. “We don’t talk anymore. Enough about me, though. If you want to look for that cheapskate, go ahead, but don’t expect me to join you.”

Squidward slammed the door. The sounds of Tiny Tim’s falsetto were all that were left now.

Krabs was back in his hammock. He hoped to fall back asleep, but he noticed a hooded figure coming towards him.

“Are you the last ghost? The Ghost of Christmas Future?” Krabs whispered.

The hooded figure uncovered himself to reveal a friendly-looking ghoul underneath.

“You bet I am! Hey, why are you pale? You look like you’re the one who kicked the bucket here!” the ghost said, laughing.

Krabs got off his hammock.

“Well, you know the drill! Let’s get outta here!” the ghost said.

The ghost and Krabs jumped out of the window and ended up in a chrome-colored Krusty Krab.

“We’re back in me restaurant! But why is everything chrome?” Krabs wondered.

“Everything is chrome in the future!” the ghost replied.

“I thought he’d never die,” a customer at a nearby table said. Krabs listened in on the conversation, as it piqued his interest.

“I’m sure his funeral will be a very lively celebration,” the other customer at the table said.

“Yeah, he died without a friend in the world but had more than enough enemies to make up for it.”

“Poor fella,” Krabs said. “What does this have to do with me, though?”

The ghost snapped his fingers, and they were at the foot of a Christmas tree in Bikini Bottom’s town square.

“How long has he been dead for?” a fish walking through the square with his girlfriend asked.

“A day or two,” his girlfriend responded.

“Well, it’s definitely the best Christmas present I could ask for.”

“Who is this guy?” Krabs asked the ghost. “He doesn’t have the best reputation, it seems.”

“No, he doesn’t,” the ghost said before snapping his fingers once again.

They were now in a shopping mall. A tall whale wearing lipstick, a dress, and high heels was eating at a food court with a friend.

“Me goodness! It’s Pearl! And she’s all grown up!” Krabs squealed.

“So will you miss him?” Pearl’s friend asked.

“Not really,” Pearl said. “Like everybody else says, we’re better off without him.”

“I’ll drink to that,” the friend said.

Krabs was getting angry now. “Who are they talking about? What man will be so wretched that even me own daughter will speak ill of him after his demise?”

The ghost snapped his fingers again, and they were in front of a grave.

“Finally! Some answers!” Krabs said. “Wait a minute…”

The grave, its chrome coloring shining in the sun, had “EUGENE HAROLD KRABS” carved in it.

“Is this…is this some kind of joke?” Krabs asked the ghost.

“Afraid it isn’t,” the ghost said.

“No! No!” Krabs covered his face. “Please! Take me back! I’ll do whatever it takes to prevent this awful future!”

“Let’s hope you’re as good as your word…for your sake,” the ghost said, putting its hood back on.

“I am! Just take me back…take me back…take me back…”

Krabs now had his eyes closed, and he was rolling back and forth in his hammock.

“Take me back…take me back…huh?” he said, opening his eyes.

The clock said 5:30. Krabs turned on the television.

“Merry Christmas, Bikini Bottom! Perch Perkins here, and…”

Krabs turned the television off. It’s already Christmas, he thought to himself. He picked up his phone and called somebody important. He then got dressed and drove to the Krusty Krab, where SpongeBob was already waiting for him.

“You’re back!” SpongeBob said in disbelief.

“Aye, bucko!” Krabs said. “What’re ye doing here on Christmas morning?”

“Don’t I have work today?”

“Of course not! It’s Christmas!”

SpongeBob was confused.

“Listen here,” Krabs said. “Call yer folks, tell them you won’t be late after all, and have a merry Christmas with them. Nobody knows better than me how precious time spent with yer family is.”

“Okay, Mr. Krabs. I guess I’ll be on my way then.”

“Wait! You shouldn’t be walking in this weather. Let me drive you home.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, it’s the least I can do after all the worry I caused you.”

“Where have to been the last few days, anyway?”

“Meeting with a couple o’ friends.”

The ghosts of Christmas Past, Christmas Present, and Christmas Future watched as Krabs and SpongeBob drove away.

“If I still had my tear ducts, I’d be bawling like a baby!” Christmas Past said.

“We did good this time, boys,” Christmas Present said. “We did good.”

After dropping SpongeBob off at his pineapple home, Krabs headed for Squidward’s tiki house next.

“What does he want this time?” Squidward muttered after hearing the knocks on his door.

Squidward opened the door and was surprised to find Krabs standing there.

“Oh, it’s you. What do you want?” Squidward asked him.

“I want to offer you your job back,” Krabs said.

“I quit for a reason.”

“Please! You won’t have to work Christmases anymore! In fact…”

Krabs took a $20 bill out of his pocket.

“…I’ll even give you a Christmas bonus!” he said.

“Fine,” Squidward, snatching the $20, said. “But only because I can’t find work anywhere else.”

Krabs smiled. “Welcome back to the crew.”

“Yeah, yeah, whatever.”

“Also, I hope ye don’t mind, but I called somebody over who should be here in 3…2…”

A horn honk was heard and Squidward’s mom appeared.

“Mother?” Squidward said.

“Squiddy! I haven’t seen you in years!” Mrs. Tentacles exclaimed.

“You aren’t mad about…”

“No! That’s all in the past!”

Squidward looked up at Krabs with his mouth agape. “You did this?”

“No one should have to spend Christmas alone,” Krabs said, getting back into his boatmobile. He watched as Squidward and his mother went inside, and he stayed where he was for almost an hour. He then saw SpongeBob’s parents stop in front of their son’s house, and as SpongeBob hugged his parents, Krabs drove away.

Krabs walked into his anchor-shaped house content that Pearl wouldn’t be coming home. That made it all the sweet when he heard a familiar voice say “Dad?” several minutes later.

“Pearl! You made it!” Krabs said.

“Yeah, and it almost didn’t happen! Every flight to Bikini Bottom was cancelled, but in a crazy stroke of luck, I met Grubby Grouper in Bass Vegas, who was on his way here anyway! When I told him about my predicament, he said he’d love to drive me! He even shook my hand!” Pearl said, showing Krabs her dirty flipper.

“How about we wash that?” Krabs suggested.

“Do that and I’ll kill you,” Pearl said.

Pearl and Krabs laughed. They then spent the rest of their Christmas together, as Squidward did with his mom, and SpongeBob did with his parents. And they truly had a very merry Christmas, every one of them.