Nigh

(Episode starts with the broadcast of Alpooh’s Horrible Park)

 

Zoopla: Hey honey, are you gonna watch that new show with the Alpooh guy?

 

Hoopla: No, I do not condone his actions.

 

Zoopla: Well alrighty, me and Woopla are gonna watch it together.

 

Woopla: Yeseryary indeeded.

 

Zoopla: Ok, whatever.

 

(turns the TV on)

 

Broadcast: Welcome to the first episode of AHP! Before we start, here’s a message from our sponsor:

 

(The TV shows a spiral with a buzzing sound)

 

Zoopla and Woopla: Huh?..z.zz.zzzzzzzzzzz

 

Broadcast: Thank you for your service to the New Alpooh Empire, as we have taken over the world. Now bow before your god! Or else...the end will be nigh for you all! ALPOOH! ALPOOH! ALPOOH!

 

(The episode starts)

 

Zoopla: ha ha very funz

 

Woopla: arrghargharg

 

(The next day)

 

Hoopla: Hey mom, I was wonder- Mom?

 

(Wooola and Zoopla are zoned out on the couch watching the new episode of Alpooh’s Horrible Park)

 

Woopla: Praise the New Alpooh Empire!

 

Zoopla: Yes! PRAISE!

 

Hoopla: o. Are you two feeling okay? For a second I thought I heard you say PRAISE ALPOOH! Or something. I dunno.

 

Zoopla: Are you against the empire?

 

Woopla: The empire is good! The empire is good!

 

Hoopla: I’m just gonna go…

 

(Hoopla sprints to the door but Zoopla shoots a nail gun at the doorknob, breaking it)

 

Zoopla: One of us, you must be one of us.

 

Hoopla: OKAY! okay! Um what do I have to do?

 

Woopla: Watch.

 

(Hoopla jumps out through the window and notices his friends, civilians, and even pets walking around mindlessly praising the New Alpooh Empire)

 

Hoopla: God...is Neptune out of a job now?

 

Fish: Hey, do you praise ALPOOH!? Everyone must praise him, or else…

 

Hoopla: Nah, frick that dude.

 

(Everyone looks at Hoopla)

 

Hoopla: Uhhh….

 

Literally everyone across the planet: HE HAS DISRESPECTED THE MIGHTY! DEATH WILL COME TO US ALL NOW! THE END IS NIGH! THE END IS NIGH!

 

Hoopla: Ah crap, here we go again.

 

(Hoopla runs down a city street and runs into a random fish)

 

Fish: The end is nigh! The end is nigh!

 

Hoopla: Um okay. ARE THERE ANY SANE PEOPLE LEFT IN THE WORLD?!

 

(Poopla emerges from a garbage can)

 

Poopla: Quickly in here!

 

Hoopla: I forgot you existed. This better be clean!

 

Poopla: Sorry it’s not. But it’s more spacious than it looks!

 

Hoopla: Uck. Well, what crazy things do you have to show me?

 

Poopla: I think I’ve found a way to escape Alpooh! Just don’t watch any TV! Also live in a trash can.

 

Hoopla: Not my mindless entertainment!

 

Poopla: That’s literally what Alpooh’s show is.

 

Hoopla: o

 

Poopla: What’s that noise?

 

(A fish opens the trash can with a phone broadcasting Alpooh’s Horrible Park)

 

Poopla: No! I don’t know how, but they’ve found me!

 

(Poopla gets quickly hypnotized)

 

Hoopla: HOOPLA!!!!!

 

Poopla: Praise the New Alpooh Empire.

 

Hoopla: OH NO!

 

(Hoopla breaks out of the garbage can and runs to the outskirts of town)

 

Hoopla: What the what is going on?!

 

(Hoopla sees a broadcast and looks away, somebody comes up to him and Hoopla recognizes him)

 

Hoopla: An oopla?

 

Boopla: Not just any oopla.

 

Hoopla: Ayy, Boopla! How’d you escape?

 

Boopla: I sold one of my kidneys in exchange for not being hypnotised.

 

Hoopla: You always seem to weird me…

 

Boopla: Oh yeah, here’s my other friend I’ve never introduced to you, Carl!

 

Carl: zzz..New..Alpooh...Empire….zzzz

 

Boopla: Yeah, I kinda zapped him after he got hypnotised.

 

Hoopla: Isn’t that the manager of the now-gone Krabby O’ Mondays?

 

Boopla: Indeed it is.

 

Hoopla: Cool.

 

Boopla: Well, me and the other Ooplas have enough members to potentially start any kind of riot, though it would be hard. If we would have you, we could potentially figure out a plan!

 

Hoopla: Hmm...nah, that’s impossible. It’s us against everyone! There’s no way. I’ll just go about living my life like this. Maybe I’ll wear a blindfold or something to not see the broadcast. I just don’t wanna end up in jail.

 

(Hoopla runs away)

 

Boopla: You will come with us. They will destroy your life…

 

Carl: ….oH nO...zzzzzz!

(end)