Crying Contest Transcript

Spongebob:Guess what today is Patrick?

Patrick:What?

Spongebob:Its the big crying contest.

Patrick:Why would you want to join a crying contest?

Spongebob:I don't know.

Patrick:Practice with me! (cries)

Spongebob:Okay uh.....hnnn

Patrick:Spongebob there's a bathroom right there (points at porta potty)

Spongebob:I can't cry.

Patrick:I'll try and help. (slaps Patrick)

Spongebob:Oww! Hey that hurt!

Patrick:You didn't cry.

Spongebob:Hmm...(thinks)

Patrick:You gotta use the bathroom again?

Spongebob:No.I'm just wondering why my tears are gone.

Patrick:Yeah you usually are a big cry bay-

(Spongebob stares at Patrick angrily)

Patrick:I mean a big uh...(thinks) strong hero!

Spongebob:Were gonna have to try harder.

(scene cuts to goo lagoon)

Patrick:hi-ya! (steps on Spongebob foot)

Spongebob:........Nope still nothin'.

Patrick:(ties spongebob's tooth to bike and rides bike)

Spongebob:(tooth comes out) Nope didn't work.

Sandy:(walks over) what'chall up to?

Patrick:Spongebob wants to cry for a contest.

Sandy:Stranger,but you came to the right girl!

(scene cuts to outside the tank)

Sandy:This my hurt but your desperate.

(tosses Spongebob up to the celing fan)

Spongebob:Whoa-Whoa-Whoa-Whoa! (keeps spinning in celing fan then falls back onto tank table)

Sandy:Did it work-

Spongebob:(Looks at sandy sad)

Sandy:Wait somethings happening!

Spongebob:(burps)

Sandy:Ah darn.

(cuts inside Spongebob's house)

Spongebob:Aww we tried everything I guess I can't cry.

Patrick:Don't worry Spongebob we'll think of somethin-(throws rock at spongebob)

Spongebob:(sadly) Don't bother Pat it doesn't even hurt.

Patrick:Tarter sauce.

Spongebob:Maybe Squidward will help.

(scene cuts to Squidward's living room)

Squidward:Usually i'd never let you in but you seem desperate.I'll play you a very sad song on the clarinet.

(plays clarient horribly in Spongebob's hole)

Spongebob:Aaugh! My ear! (busts out Squidward's wall and runs to the krusty krab)

(knocks on Mr.Krabs office door)

Mr.Krabs:Spongebob what are you doing its your day off?

Spongebob:I can't cry anymore.

Mr.Krabs:So...crying is not a good thing.

Spongebob:But my conte-

Mr.Krabs:boy if you really want to know the key,slam your hand in me safe.

(walks over and slams hand in safe for three times)

Spongebob:(looks at watch) Oh no i'm late for the contest.

(runs out krusty krab and runs to studio)

Patrick:I'm with ya buddy!

(runs with spongebob to studio)

Man:Okay next uh.."Spongebob Squarepants".

(runs into counter)

Teen male:Tickets?

Spongebob:I'm Spongebob Squarepants.

Teen male:Go on in.

(Spongebob walks in door)

Teen Male:Wait Star fish you can't go it!

Patrick:(shouts) don't worry Spongebob i'll watch! One ticket please.

(runs onto stage)

Man:So are you gonna cry or what?

Spongebob:Oh yeah uh...funny story you see I lost my cry but I can really cry grea-(slips on nail and falls on floor)

Man:Kid you okay.

Spongebob:Oww that hurt (eyes water)......Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (keeps crying) Waaaaaahh!!!!!!!!!!! Waaaah!!!!!!!!!! Waaaah!!!!!

Patrick:He did it!

Spongebb:Waaah! (tears dry) And that was my act.

(croud claps)

Patrick:Spongebob you did it.

Spongebob:I wanna do it again!

Patrick:Okay (slaps Spongebob on back)

Spongebob:Oh no It didn't work.