Shut Up Withheld It’s a Metaphor!

'''Shut Up [Withheld] It’s a Metaphor! '''is the sixteenth episode of Total Drama SBFW. It aired September 15, 2019 and was written by Purple133.

Transcript
(Episode opens with a Purps confessional)

Purps: So I feel like Jasbre is out to get me. NOBODY SHALL KNOW MY SECRETS! 27!

(Cut to the room where SBCA, Cici, and Joey get to talking)

SBCA: So guys now that we’re in the merge and Matchy’s gone, we have to ensure that it’s not one of us going home.

(Vanessa overhears this and growls; Vanessa confessional)

Vanessa: So the guys decided to have a meeting without me. Great.

(Cut back to the meeting)

Cici: Vanessa! Get over here!

Vanessa: Okay!!!

(Vanessa runs over)

Joey: So we need to get rid of one of the people from Team Steve.

Vanessa: You think?

SBCA: But who?

Joey: Hmmmmmmmmmmmm. How about Crazy?

SBCA: You really think they’d be alright turning on Crazy?

Vanessa: I mean yeah that could work. They’ll think we’re voting Purps but we’re actually voting Crazy.

Cici: But who do we get to help?

Vanessa: I have an idea.

(Vanessa walks over to Jasbre and Image)

Image: Oh, hey Vanessa.

Vanessa: Hey. So I know you guys are probably planning to vote us.

Jasbre: Yeah how did you know?

Vanessa: *sigh* would you be willing to work with us?

Image: I don’t see why not, us ladies have to stick together.

Jasbre: *cough* stereotypical *cough*

Vanessa: So me and the boys talked about voting out Crazy.

Jasbre, Why?

Image: He’s an idiot.

Vanessa: Harsh and not the reason. He’s just annoying.

Image: Which lines up with him being an idiot.

Vanessa: I guess so.

(Cut to the challenge)

Alex: Welcome to your challenge everyone! Today, you will be going through an obstacle course!

Waluigi: WAH! There are many challenging parts to get through in this course.

Alex: The first person to complete it wins!

Waluigi: Go!

(Image sprints into the course but gets sent flying away by a wrecking ball)

Image: Woah!

Purps: Guys are you INSANE?

Alex: Yes. Who cares if we used construction equipment?

Purps: I do!

Crazy: I don’t.

(Bot runs to complete the course but gets picked up by a crane)

Alex: So now you might have picked up on the fact that this isn’t an obstacle course, but actually a survival chamber. Hahahahahaha.

Waluigi: WAH! You bug me.

(The floor beneath the contestants vanishes causing them to drop into the “survival chamber”; SBCA confessional)

SBCA: Wait what?!

(Purps confessional)

Purps: This is gonna be chaos.

(Cut to Crazy trying to cross)

Crazy: Okay so I’ve dodged this much and-

(Crazy gets trapped inside of a giant bubble)

Crazy: Ah shit,

Alex: And eight people remain!

Joey: Hey look a red button!

(Glue shoots out at Joey from all directions and he gets stuck)

Joey: Dammit.

Jasbre: If you see the red button, you don’t push it.

Joey: Thanks for the heads up.

Purps: What about the blue button?

Dan: Green?

Vanessa: Purple?

Jasbre: GUYS SHUT UP!

(Jasbre tries to run across the ground but slips on an ice cube and gets knocked unconscious)

Vanessa: Haha loser.

Alex: Six of you still remain. Way to go.

Waluigi: WAH! Let’s up the stakes a little shall we? The winner of this challenge is not only safe at the next elimination ceremony, but also wins… free tacos!

Purps: FOOD? I HAVEN’T HAD REAL FOOD IN MONTHS.

(Purps pushes Dan into a trapdoor)

Dan: Oh shit.

Golf: Purps, that was ruthless!

Purps: You’re still here?

Golf: Yes, and I would like to know if you would like to weed out another contestant.

Purps: Very odd metaphor.

Golf: I know. How opposed would you be to voting Crazy? I heard the people from Team Hell would like to and if we get rid of that nuisance then we have control over who they vote.

Purps: How?

Golf: I’m good at taking control.

SBCA: Hey guys what’s up?

(Golf gets hit by a golf cart and knocked out)

Purps: Heh, ironic. Um Golf wants to use you guys or something.

SBCA: What?

Purps: Yeah, Yeah. I think maybe it’s time Golf gets the boot.

SBCA: Well that sounds like a plan then.

(SBCA confessional)

SBCA: So Purps and I are friends now and he wants to take out his own original teammate. Wow, I must be a better friend then Golf was!

(SBCA steps in gum and gets stuck)

Alex: Cici, Purps, and Vanessa are still fighting to win!

Purps: SERIOUSLY I NEED 27 TACOS!

Cici: Purps what is it with you and that number?

Purps: I’ll reveal it if I GET MY TACOS!

(Vanessa walks over to Purps)

Vanessa: Hey Purps so I know you want tacos but could you maybe let me win?

Purps: How about no.

(Purps steps aside just in time to see Vanessa get showered with cold water)

Vanessa: Alex am I out?

Alex: Yep.

Vanessa: GRRRRRR.

Cici: Purps you win.

Purps: What?

Cici: You clearly want to help us out in this next vote so it doesn’t matter which one of us wins.

Purps: Thanks!

Alex: And Purps wins because Cici forfeited? Okay. I’ll see you losers later today at the elimination ceremony.

(Cut to Purps, SBCA, Cici, Vanessa, Jasbre, Image, and Joey)

Purps: So Golf has got to go.

Jasbre: You sure?

Image: He’s a jerk and doesn't say much anymore.

Jasbre: I guess.

Vanessa: Plus he’s controlled a lot of votes from what Purps has said.

Jasbre: Should we tell Dan?

Vanessa: Sure.

(Cici walks over to Dan)

Cici: Hey Dan you and Crazy and Bot should totally come over to this circle with everyone but Golf because he’s in the bathroom. Right now.

Crazy: o. Okay then. Are we voting him?

Cici: Yeah. Alright you guys can stay.

Bot: I guess that makes sense, Golf is like the bad guy isn’t he?

Cici: I guess so.

(Cici confessional)

Cici: I really have no clue what’s going on. I’m just trying to stay with the majority.

(Cut to the elimination ceremony)

Alex: Alright stick note yeah. Go vote.

(Everybody votes)

Alex: Let’s get this done in record time.

Golf: Why? Shouldn’t it be more suspenseful?

Alex: No. okay so Bot, Cici, Dan, Image, Jasbre, Joey, Purps, SBCA, and Vanessa are all safe.

Waluigi: WAH! Take your sticky notes dammit!

(Jasbre eats his sticky note)

Dan: Jasbre remind me to punch you in the face tomorrow.

Jasbre: What?

Alex: Crazy, Golf, looks like you two dudes are in the bottom. Both of you barely say anything except the occasional joke or catchphrase, but Golf is like a little bit more conniving and villainous. Which is why it isn’t a surprise really that he has been eliminated after all these days out here playing.

Crazy: WOOHOO I NEED TO TALK MORE DAMMIT!

Golf: Guys, guys, guys. WHAT THE FUCK?!

Purps: Bye loser.

Golf: I’LL KILL EVERY LAST ONE OF YOU PIECE OF SHIT MOT-

(Waluigi drags Golf away)

Alex: Well that was… eventful. Goodnight guys and please don’t let the bedbugs bite because I just bought new mattresses for you.

Purps: Thanks!

Alex/ Shut up [withheld] it’s a metaphor!

Purps: What?

Alex: It has to be said this episode.