Headstone

Transcript
(Episode opens at the table)

Granite: 4 - 0 vote this time unfortunately.

Keanu: Oh boy.

Sully: I hope it isn’t me.

Steve: Well Sully it was you so suck it up.

Sully: *sad noises*

Granite: Yeah Sully, you’ve finally been evicted.

(Sully walks out onto the stage)

Granite: Okay final seven let’s get into your next challenge. Today you’ll be designing the best headstones!

Grandpa SquarePants: I get it I’m old but come on.

Girly Teengirl: This is dark.

Triton: Tell me about it.

Krabs: Who is the headstone for?

Granite: My hopes and dreams of getting a better life.

Keanu: Hey I can help your hopes and dreams take off.

Granite: Actually?

Keanu: No, sorry. Just trying to be inspiring.

Triton: (shoots a rock and turns it into a beautiful statue of himself) done.

Girly Teengirl: Oh wow you’re so hot.

Triton: What?

Girly Teengirl: Oh um I uh uhhhh

Triton: It’s okay.

Girly Teengirl: Whew.

Triton; Hey if I help you win this challenge would you promise to not nominate me?

Girly Teengirl: YES!

(Cut to Krabs and Grandpa SquarePants)

Krabs: (building Krabby Patty headstone) so you’re SpongeBob’s grandpa?

Grandpa SquarePants: Yessir.

Granite: Time’s up!

Steve: Sir you never set a ti-

Granite: Shut the hell up Steve!

Steve: What’s gotten into you lately? It’s like since we visited EB you’ve been trying to be him.

Granite: I said shut up Steve, let’s judge some headstones.

(Steve and Granite look at all of the headstones)

Granite: Looks like we have a clear winner. Girly Teengirl!

Girly Teengirl: Again? So cool!

HBRS: Hey I exist!

Girly Teengirl: Oh yeah, that’s right.

Triton: (softly) maybe you should nominate him because he did that whole split thing.

(Cut to the nomination ceremony)

Girly Teengirl: So first I’m gonna nominate HBRS for his whole split ordeal. Second I’m going to nominate Grandpa SquarePants because he’s a threat.

Triton: Hey Girly Teengirl I just want to say I think those were bold options and I think you’re a very original person.

Girly Teengirl: Thanks!

Granite: Enough! Hey viewers go vote out either HBRS or Grandpa SquarePants! Now! Do it!

Who’s getting evicted? HBRS Grandpa SquarePants

……………………………………………..

Vaki: (translated from Vandalese) Master Vastrom, we seem to have received an oddly shaped materialistic product of sorts.

Vastrom: Hey, it would appear to be in the shape of a triangular cone.

Vaki: Do they think they have an actual chance of survival against us?

Vastrom: Probably, but we’ve cut down all the other fools. Where is this declaration of war coming from Vaki?

Vaki: Let me check.

(A robotic arm reaches into space, grabs what appears to be the birdie from the challenge in “Beyond”, and pulls it into the ship to analyze)

Machine: Analyzing. This is a declaration of war from the terran world of Earth.

Vastrom: Then prepare the fleets. Looks like we have another civilization to end.