The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie IV: The Cloonbob Saga/Plot

The following is the plot of SpongeBob SquarePants IV. WARNING: SPOILERS AHEAD.

Plot
The film begins with the narrator singing "It's Been a While". After a gunshot is heard, we cut to Waluigi's house in the lower east side of Detroit. Waluigi opens his door to find to find two jehovahs witnesses soliciting outside of his humble abode. He quickly rushes to his bedside drawer and pulls out a rusty tennis racquet. He stares at it intently, stroking it with utmost satisfaction.

"It's........... time," Waluigi says. A voice is heard in the background, and a loud screech follows. The camera then pans outside of Waluigi's door. George Clooney in a raggedy SpongeBob suit is seen staring down Waluigi. Cloonbob mutters, "I'm ready." Waluigi smirks, and lunges at him with the tennis racquet. The jehovahs witnesses jump on top of Cloonbob and form the missing piece of Voltron. Waluigi gasps, and stops in his tracks. He remembers now. He remembers how it was in olden times.

3 YEARS PRIOR

A bubble transition introduces us to SpongeBob's alarm clock, stuck to Gary's shell. Gary has an extremely sadistic look on his face. SpongeBob wakes up and finds a letter from his old friend Debbie the Seahorse. A Rob Schneider-esque screech is heard outside of the pineapple. SpongeBob shakes it off as Squidward fondling his clarinet. He reaches into his wallet, only to find a Visa card with the title "Bat Credit Card" on it. SpongeBob's PTSD triggers, and he remembers a dark time in Schumacher city with homoerotic statues and nipples on every architectural structure. SpongeBob faints. Patrick divebombs into SpongeBob's house, holding a basket of tomatoes that are inexplicably rotten.

"This is my time. You decided our fate years ago, Robert. The world has collapsed at your feet. The brooding darkness.......nobody wants this. Not me. Not Schumacher. Not even Kilmer. I'm sorry, SpongeBob. When I go to hell, I shall remember you for all of eternity." Patrick lazily drops the tomatoes on SpongeBob, followed by a cheesy 80s fart sound effect. Patrick then takes out a poster of his hero, Val Kilmer, and it beckons him back to the good old days, an era of whoppers and cheese fries.

"All hail the Kilmbot," Patrick says, lustfully. Suddenly, a gargantuan-nosed cephelopod enters the room and points a gun at Patrick's brain coral.

"Kill him now, and you will have to answer to me." the octopus says. He turns his head to the audience, and we see that it is actually a time-travelling Squog, with a bazooka launcher grafted to his inner thigh.

"But....the legends........they cannot be true." Patrick worriedly says.

"SQUOG FWEE FWEE," Squog says, as he proceeds to gun down Patrick. Suddenly, a time rift appears over Patrick's USSR rock. A dim-litted figure appears from inside the time rift. The figure is wearing armor reminiscent of Batman and Robin with an extra amount of emphasis on the nips. The figure then leaps towards Squog.

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3 years later.......

Waluigi studies the newfound Voltron piece that lies on his porch. He picks up a phone and frantically speed-dials his brother.

"Wario, it's me, Waluigi. It has happened. The goob is scoob-" Before Waluigi can finish the conversation, Cloonbob throws a deformed Krabby Patty detonator toward Waluigi. Waluigi tries to escape the radius, but ultimately suffers at the hands of Cloonbob. Waluigi, burnt and crawling toward his house, is seen trying to escape Cloonbob's viscous gaze. Cloonbob is seen walking slowly behind Waluigi. As he approaches, he removes a blood-spattered spatula from his back pocket. He raises it in the air, as if to cut down Waluigi.

The loud roar of a motorcycle is heard in the background. Before Cloonbob can finish off Waluigi, he is interrupted, and turns his head towards the sound.

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3 years earlier......

George Clooney leaps towards Squog and snaps his neck. He then pauses and turns to SpongeBob. "I can't have you sea creatures ruining my one last claim to fame." SpongeBob, nervous and backing away, puts his hands up, as if to surrender to Clooney. Clooney, staring intently at SpongeBob, sounds off a soliloquy. He says, "The squid almost ruined my master plan. I'm going to make a musical based off this wonderful aquatic world. But you won't be a part of it. I'm here to redeem Schumacher's original and groundbreaking plan. I'm going to reunite the cast of Batman and Robin and make a live musical about your show. IN COSTUME. Kinda like that Grease Live thing, you know...... did you watch that one? Eh, doesn't matter."

The camera pans on Patrick's corpse. Another figure's boot is seen in the background. It has a red, Bat-like symbol on it, and a silver R. Clooney's voice is heard in the background.

"There's my partner! Time to get this show started......"

Chris O'Donnel says, "About time they gave me another shot." Clooney tells O'Donnel to take Patrick's body to the factory. As O'Donnel carries Patrick away, shrieks from SpongeBob can be heard in the background. Clooney laughs as he puts his plan into action. "I'm about to live in a pineapple, under the bright lights.......OF HOLLYWOOD!"

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*** SpongeBob and Patrick will now be played by George Clooney and Chris O'Donnel. The original SpongeBob and Patrick are preserved like those celebrity heads from Futurama. You know the ones. This has to be PG-13, don't push it.

ACT 2 COMING SOON

Check back for updates on the Cloonbob saga.