Crazy Craps

Crazy Craps

Written By: Purple133

Written For: Spin Off Kings Season One

Transcript
Synopsis: Mr. Craps puts a bunch of new items on the Krusty Krab menu but people don't like them.

(Episode opens at the Krusty Krab)

Mr. Craps: Squidward! GET IN HERE RIGHT NOW!

Squidward: What do you want boss?

Mr. Craps: I need new ideas for the menu and SpongeBob doesn’t have any good ideas.

Squidward: (extremely sarcastically) what do you mean? I thought that Patty Sculpting was a great idea.

Mr. Craps: But it wasn’t.

Squidward: It was sarcasm.

Mr. Craps: You know I’m not good at identifying sarcasm!

Squidward: Okay, whatever.

Mr. Craps: So any ideas?

Squidward: Nope.

(SpongeBob enters the room)

SpongeBob: You need ideas? How about a Krabby Patty Krabby Patty?

Mr. Craps: A what?

SpongeBob: You know, a Krabby Patty with a Krabby Patty inside of it instead of a patty?

Mr. Craps: Sounds promising. Let’s try it. I’ll add it to the menu right now!

Squidward: I thought you hated his ideas.

Mr. Craps: Let’s give the boy a chance.

(Harold walks up to the register)

Harold: Hey, can I try a Krabby Patty Krabby Patty?

Squidward: Your lo-

(Mr. Craps glares at Squidward from the office)

Squidward: I mean, SPONGEBOB ONE KRABBY PATTY KRABBY PATTY PLEASE!

Harold: Thanks!

(A random fish comes up to the register)

Random Fish: Hey can I try one?

Other Random Fish: Me too!

(Mr. Craps looks at Squidward)

Mr. Craps: Well now I can get rich quick!

Squidward: Sure, but when this blows up in your face I’m gonna laugh.

(An explosion happens in the kitchen)

Squidward: SPONGEBOB! What was that?!

SpongeBob: It’s the grill! She can’t handle this much at once!

(The grill starts coughing)

Grill: Why SpongeBob, WHY?!

Squidward: Ummm okay.

(SpongeBob walks into Mr. Craps’ office)

SpongeBob: Hey Mr. Craps, can we make a new menu item so that we don’t use the grill as much?

Mr. Craps: Now why would I do that?

SpongeBob: The grill won’t be able to take much more.

Mr. Craps: I see. Well then, what’ve you got?

SpongeBob: How about, Krabby Patty Fried Fries?

Mr. Craps: Like Chicken Fried Fries, but with Krabby Patties?

SpongeBob: Sure!

Mr. Craps: Fine, see how it goes.

(SpongeBob adds Krabby Patty Fried Fries to the menu. Harold walks up to the register)

Harold: Hey, can I try Krabby Patty Fried Fries?

Squidward: Weren’t you here just an hour ago?

Harold: So?

(Mr. Craps overhears this)

Mr. Craps: Squidward! Just kindly take the man’s money!

Squidward: Will that be for here or to go?

Harold: For here, thank you.

Squidward: SpongeBob, one order of Krabby Patty Fried Fries!

SpongeBob: Coming right up!

(Squidward inhales deeply and swallows a fly)

Squidward: Ughghghghghghhghggh.

(Mr. Craps hears Squidward choking)

Mr. Craps: Squidward! I’m not paying you to choke, I’m paying you to take orders!

(The fly leaves Squidward’s mouth)

Squidward: I suppose you’ll start taxing me for using the bathroom too? Mr. Craps: You think that could work?

Squidward: What?! NO!

(More customers order Krabby Patty Fried Fries, but SpongeBob is having trouble in the kitchen)

SpongeBob: Squidward!

Squidward: What?

SpongeBob: We only have two deep fryers! I need at least four for the amount of fries we’re making!

(Mr. Craps overhears this)

Mr. Craps: SpongeBob! Squidward!

SpongeBob and Squidward: Yes Mr. Craps?

Mr. Craps: I’ve decided to stop this whole new menu items thing and just stick to the regulars.

SpongeBob: You, you, you mean it?

Squidward: Well as long as it means I don’t have to take as many orders I’m fine.

Mr. Craps: Do you have a problem taking orders Squidward? Because I can always leave SpongeBob to help you.

Squidward: No, no, no, I’m all good.

Mr. Craps: Well then I guess everything is alright.

(Episode Ends)