Super Sponge (ADWSS Episode Transcript)

(SpongeBob is watching TV with Patrick in his pineapple)

TV Announcer: (offscreen, but on TV) Mermaidman and Barnacleboy XI: Man Ray's Return will be right back after this commercial break!

SpongeBob: Wow, I wish I was a superhero.

Patrick: Yeah, me too.

SpongeBob: Such a shame we can't though.

Patrick: Or can we?

SpongeBob: Patrick..... you just gave me an idea!

Patrick: What?

SpongeBob: Maybe we can!

(scene cuts to SpongeBob and Patrick, walking out the front door. SpongeBob is dressed with a dark blue cape and light blue pants with an S on it. Patrick is wearing orange shorts with a golden P on it)

TV Announcer: (offscreen) Super Sponge and Powerful Patrick! They're here to save the day!

Patrick: Who's saying that?

SpongeBob: Yeah, I don't see anyone.

TV Announcer: They have special superpowers! Super Sponge can fly!

(scene cuts to the top of the tallest building in Bikini Bottom)

SpongeBob: Wait, I can't fly!

Patrick: Yes you can. (pushes SpongeBob off the building)

SpongeBob: (offscreen) AUGH! (large crashing noise is heard)

TV Announcer: He can walk through walls! To prove it to you, SpongeBob will escape this pack of wild hyenas by walking through a nearby wall!

SpongeBob: (now with a black eye, and a bandage on his arm) What? (wild hyenas appear) Uh-oh.

(scene cuts to Patrick, sitting on a bench, drinking soda, while sounds of SpongeBob getting beat up are heard)

Patrick: OH NO!

SpongeBob: (offscreen) I knew you'd help me, Patrick!

Patrick: I'm all out of soda! Better get a refill! (walks offscreen)

SpongeBob: (offscreen) PATRICK!

TV Announcer: And he can create paths of ice! To prove that, SpongeBob will be thrust into a pit of lava and will escape by making an ice path!

SpongeBob: (with a black eye, bandages on both arms, and with a cast on) Yeah right! There's no lava underwater! (looks down) Oh... apparently there is.... (falls downwards offscreen, a sizzling noise is heard)

TV Announcer: He can also-

SpongeBob: (now with casts on both arms, in a wheelchair) Um, why don't you just demonstrate Patrick's powers now?

TV Announcer: Patrick has superspeed! Quick, Patrick, run away from the anvil that's about to hit you!

Patrick: Huh? (anvil falls on his belly, but his fat bounces the anvil onto SpongeBob's face)

SpongeBob: OW!

TV Announcer: Plus he has super stretchy body parts! Grab that lever way up on the ceiling, Patrick!

Patrick: (attempts to reach lever, but is unable to, SpongeBob boosts him up, and Patrick pulls the lever)

SpongeBob: Say, what does that lever activate anyway?

Patrick: It releases the wild hyenas from earlier today!

SpongeBob: (spots the wild hyenas) Oh barnacles.

(scene cuts to Patrick, who is taking a nap on a bench, while SpongeBob is getting beat up again, screaming)

Patrick: (in sleep) Of course you can, rainbow kitty.......

SpongeBob: (offscreen) Mystery guy, please just demonstrate another power so I'll magically be teleported elsewhere.

TV Announcer: (now onscreen, appears to be a violet-coloured fish) What do you mean? You actually get knocked out and then we just drag you wherever we need to.

Patrick: (now awake) Yeah SpongeBob, how didn't you notice that?

SpongeBob: (offscreen) I was knocked out! How would I notice? (growling is heard) Easy there, Mr. Hyena...... we don't want any lost eyeballs like last time!

(beating up sounds are heard, while Patrick and the announcer look at SpongeBob, who is offscreen, with a disgusted and frightened look on their face)

Patrick: How gruesome!

SpongeBob: (offscreen) No lost NOSES either, Mr. Hyena...... remember?

TV Announcer: Umm..... guys, I think someone just robbed the bank over there. He's on that building across the street.

SpongeBob: (crawling onscreen, his legs and waist are missing and he is wearing an eyepatch) We'll stop him!

(Scene: Top of building)

SpongeBob: Patrick, here's my plan. I'll jump through that billboard and fly to the other building, then you'll use your stretchy hand to pull yourself to me, and we'll fight the criminal! Got it?

Patrick: Okay!

TV Announcer: Attempt one......

SpongeBob: (jumps onto billboard, which causes the billboard to crack off and SpongeBob starts falling down with it) I could get injured! Well, I'll just fly off before that happens. (jumps off the billboard and hits his face on the asphalt, a car runs over him) Ow. (stands up, but the billboard falls on him)

TV Announcer: Attempt two........

SpongeBob: Maybe I should just use the elevator on that building.

(Scene: Elevator)

SpongeBob: (waits, while "Left Bank Two" by The Noveltones plays as elevator music, door opens and he exits to the rooftop) PATRICK, DO THE STRETCHY HAND!

Patrick: (attempts to swing his hand like a lasso, but catches his hand in a fan, which causes him to spin around and around, he eventually lets go and is launched torwards the sun, he falls back down, on fire) AUGH!

SpongeBob: Come on!

Criminal: (goes behind SpongeBob and pushes him off the building)

SpongeBob: AUGH! (crashing noise is heard)

TV Announcer: Attempt three.......

SpongeBob: Maybe we should just both take the elevator.

(Scene: Elevator)

SpongeBob And Patrick: (waiting, while "Wise Owl" by Mat Clark plays as elevator music, the door opens and they exit)

Patrick: We've got you now!

SpongeBob: I'm Super Sponge,

Patrick: and I'm Powerful Patrick,

SpongeBob: and if you think you can stop us

Patrick: from stopping you,

SpongeBob and Patrick: Then you're an idiot!

Criminal: Well in that case, I'm an idiot.

SpongeBob: How do you even think you could possibly hurt us?

Criminal: (pushes both SpongeBob and Patrick off the building) That.

(Scene: SpongeBob's Pineapple)

TV Announcer: (on TV) Mermaid Man And Barnacle Boy XI: Man Ray's Return is back on! Right now...... and you're gone, aren't you.

(the episode goes black, but doesn't end, audio is heard)

SpongeBob: (offscreen) Easy, Mr. Hyena, don't you know that legs aren't for eating?

(large growl is heard, and a biting noise)

SpongeBob: Mr. Hyena, for the last time, my eyelashes aren't licorice!

Patrick: (comes onscreen) My soda is now refilled! (starts drinking soda)

SpongeBob: Patrick, please help me! Help me! Oh why bother, that stupid writer just can't let go of this stupid running gag.

SuperFanon: (walks onscreen) Who do you think you're calling stupid?

Patrick: Let me take a wild guess...... SpongeBob's calling YOU stupid?

SuperFanon: (slaps Patrick in the face)

Patrick: Hey, just because it's hard to guess doesn't mean I should get a slap in the face!

SuperFanon: IT DOES NOW!

(episode ends)