Outbreak

"Outbreak" is the first episode of season 2 of NKC. In this episode, Pearl falls ill and SpongeBob fears she may have the coronavirus.

Transcript

 * [Episode opens with all the cast eating breakfast, except Pearl]
 * Mr. Krabs: I came to the realization this morning, that a lot of people in Bikini Bottom are disappointed that we moved to New Kelp and didn't do anything with the Krusty Krab. So I am thinking what if we reopened the Krusty Krab in Bikini Bottom, but we hired new people to help manage the business and all that. That way I can still make loads of money and live out here and not pay their dumb taxes.
 * Squidward: Well that just sounds like a fancy way to commit tax fraud.
 * SpongeBob: Yeah, and we can't get to Bikini Bottom anymore.
 * Mr. Krabs: Wait, what do you mean?
 * SpongeBob: Well didn't you hear, they've stopped all travel to and from Bikini Bottom because of a coronavirus outbreak.
 * Patrick: Isn't that a beer?
 * Plankton: Yeah it must be what they use to infect Bikini Bottomites. [everyone except SpongeBob laughs]
 * SpongeBob: This isn't funny. It's a serious virus outbreak. Oh boy I really hope the virus doesn't come to New Kelp.
 * Pearl: Hey guys. Sorry I'm late for breakfast. I woke up with a really bad headache this morning.
 * SpongeBob: Oh no! That's one of the symptoms!
 * Mr. Krabs: Relax. [talking to Pearl] Look just take it easy today sweetie, get lots of rest and drink plenty of fluids.
 * SpongeBob: Don't listen to him! We need to call an ambulance! She has the virus!
 * Squidward: SpongeBob, calm down. It's just one of the symptoms. What are the other symptoms?
 * SpongeBob: Well, the other symptoms are, sore throat, coughing, runny nose, and a fever.
 * Mr. Krabs: Well that just sounds like a common cold.
 * SpongeBob: Yes- but people are dying!
 * Squidward: [with his phone in his hand] Okay I just did some research, coronavirus is a family of viruses, it can range from common cold to much more severe diseases.
 * Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob, even if Pearl did have a form of the virus, she's 16, her immune system would be able to handle it fine. Pearl maybe you should spend the day in your room, I'll take care of you.
 * Pearl: Okay daddy.
 * Patrick: Ah- achoo!
 * SpongeBob: Oh God. It's spreading!
 * [cuts to Mr. Krabs taking care of Pearl]
 * Mr. Krabs: Here you go sweetie.
 * Pearl: Thanks Daddy.
 * Mr. Krabs: I will be right back.
 * Pearl: Okay.
 * [Mr. Krabs leaves and SpongeBob enters dressed up as a doctor]
 * SpongeBob: Hi I am a doctor. I give prescriptions. My name is Dr. Care.
 * Pearl: What's your first name? I know it’s you SpongeBob.
 * SpongeBob: Obama…
 * Pearl: I know it’s you SpongeBob.
 * SpongeBob: No SpongeBob here. Look, I am doctor. I feed the hungry and poor.
 * Pearl: That’s not what a doctor does. [sneezes]
 * SpongeBob: [under his breath] Why didn't I put on a face mask? But I am real doctor, and I think you may have coronavirus. We should call an ambulance to get you to the hospital to do checks-
 * [Mr. Krabs returns]
 * Mr. Krabs: Hey Pearl. [looks at SpongeBob] Why are you dressed up as a doctor SpongeBob?
 * SpongeBob: Oh shit.
 * Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob, Pearl does not have the coronavirus, there hasn’t been any cases here, she hasn’t been to Bikini Bottom, and she hasn’t been with anyone that has been to Bikini Bottom recently. The chances she has the virus are very slim, it’s just a common cold, she’ll be better in a few days or weeks.
 * SpongeBob: It could still be coronavirus. [gets thrown out the room]
 * [scene goes to Patrick watching Family Guy]
 * Brian: Peter what are you doing?
 * Peter: Crack.
 * Brian: What the fuck?!
 * Patrick: Haha. It’s funny because, crack cocaine.
 * Reporter: We interrupt this programme to bring you an important announcement. There has been a confirmed case of coronavirus in New Kelp City.
 * SpongeBob: Oh my god!
 * Patrick: Where did you come from?!
 * SpongeBob: That's a separate issue. [turns up television]
 * Reporter: It is recommended that anybody with the symptoms are tested. The symptoms of coronavirus are: headaches, sore throat, coughing, runny nose, and a fever.
 * SpongeBob: Ahh! We're all going to die!
 * Reporter: We now return to your scheduled programme.
 * Peter: Hey at least I am not drinking, Brian!
 * Brian: Yeah but this isn't really a good substitute.
 * Patrick: Hahaha! What a hilarious show!
 * SpongeBob: [knocking on Mr. Krabs' door] Mr. Krabs! Mr. Krabs! Mr. Krabs!
 * Mr. Krabs: [goes out, wearing a face mask] What? What? What?
 * SpongeBob: Aha! You're wearing a mask! So it is the coronavirus! You were trying to make me look like a crazy sponge!
 * Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob, Pearl’s illness has gotten much worse. She's got a fever, sore throat, a cough, and a bunch of other stuff. But she should be better in a few days.
 * SpongeBob: But the coronavirus has reached New Kelp! You've got to get her checked!
 * Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob, calm down. It's just a common cold. She'll be fine.
 * SpongeBob: But- [Mr. Krabs shuts the door] Fine I'll take action myself.
 * Mr. Krabs: Whatever crazy sponge.
 * SpongeBob: I am not a crazy sponge.
 * [a team of ambulance and paramedic crews are seen breaking into the house]
 * Paramedic: Put your hands where we can see them.
 * Rex: What the fuck is this, an ICE raid?
 * Paramedic: No, we have had a report that someone may have coronavirus. We want to get the victim out as quickly as possible and make sure none of you contract it.
 * Patrick: Ahahaha! Stewie threw up! Hahahahaha! [2 paramedics break through the window and destroy the TV] No! Family Guy! What did you do that for?
 * Paramedic: The TV could have germs on it!
 * Mr. Krabs: What the fuck is going on down here?! My daughter is trying to rest, she’s sick.
 * Paramedic: Your daughter is sick?!
 * Mr. Krabs: Yeah she has a really bad cold.
 * Paramedic: Where is she?
 * Mr. Krabs: She’s on floor 45.
 * Paramedic: Everybody get to floor 45! [they all run through the house]
 * Mr. Krabs: Wait why did I say that?!
 * [the paramedics come back with Pearl on a stretcher]
 * Pearl: Daddy!
 * Mr. Krabs: Pearl!
 * Pearl: Help! [she is put into the back of an ambulance]
 * Mr. Krabs: What’s all this about?
 * Paramedic: We have been told your daughter may have the coronavirus. We will run some tests on her.
 * Mr. Krabs: But I did not give you permission. You’ve abducted my child!
 * Paramedic: It’s for her own good.
 * Mr. Krabs: What the fuck is wrong with all you people?! It’s just a very bad cold!
 * [the paramedics all drive off, the scene cuts to Mr. Krabs at the hospital]
 * Doctor: Hello Mr. Krabs, I just want you to know that your daughter is in very good care.
 * Mr. Krabs: She better be- wait. Why is she in a cardboard box?!
 * Doctor: Oh yeah. This is Hoopla, a spokesperson for Box Productions. [hoopla enters]
 * Hoopla: Hoop da whoop! These boxes are the best way to contain the coronavirus. And you can buy them yourself at bp-store.com! Order now and you get a free 1-second trial of Cut-Out Standard Plus. These boxes only cost $299.99!
 * Mr. Krabs: It’s a cardboard box. The best way to contain this “deadly virus” is a cardboard box?!
 * Hoopla: Hoopla! You can also get a limited edition coronavirus special version of the cardboard box. Please note, this is limited and costs $399.99! And you get a free CrazySponge Fan Costume with it!
 * Mr. Krabs: It’s still just a box. Won’t she die, there’s no water flowing in there?
 * Hoopla: Ah but there is. This is our special water edition! Which you can get for yourself for the small price of-
 * Mr. Krabs: Alright! I get it!
 * [a paramedic enters with another man]
 * Paramedic: We have another victim of the virus here.
 * Man: I don't have the virus, it was my ex-wife, she took the kids and now she's out to ruin my life.
 * Paramedic: That's what they all say. Hoopla put a box on him before this shit spreads.
 * Man: Wait what?! [Hoopla starts to put a box on his head] No! No! Noooo!
 * Hoopla: He'll be fine.
 * Doctor: Okay, Eugene, I will give you some time. Here’s the key for the room!
 * Mr. Krabs: Wait you’re going to let me in there even though you think she has coronavirus?
 * Doctor: Well yeah, I mean we are still running the tests but, as Hoopla stated, the box completely protects her.
 * Hoopla: Indeed. But it comes at the price of 299-.
 * Doctor: Yeah we get it, Hoopla. [they both leave and Mr. Krabs goes into Pearl’s room]
 * Mr. Krabs: Don’t worry Pearl, I will get you out.
 * Pearl: Thanks daddy.
 * Mr. Krabs: [tries to cut open the box] Why isn’t this working?
 * Hoopla: [appears from nowhere] Hoopla! [Mr. Krabs screams] The box is knife-proof!
 * Mr. Krabs: Okay [gets out scissors, and tries to cut the box open] What the hell, why isn’t any of this working?!
 * Hoopla: Because this box is scissor-proof! In fact it's everything proof.
 * [Mr. Krabs picks up the box and gets it off Pearl]
 * Hoopla: What the hoop?!
 * Pearl: I feel better now daddy.
 * Hoopla: You see, the box helped. And you can buy it for yourself at bp-store.com for $299.99. Prices may vary depending on version. This box may be illegal in other countries. Please do not investigate, this is not a tax-write off and we are not doing any illegal activities. Please do not look inside the Box Productions HQ, we are not hiding SpongeBot678 in one of these boxes.
 * Pearl: Okay…
 * Mr. Krabs: Come on Pearl, let’s get out of here. [they both run out of the room] Hurry before we’re spotted.
 * Doctor: Too late. [a crowd of people are there, including a news team]
 * Reporter: We have some breaking news. A man has been spotted trying to abduct a teenager who may have the coronavirus.
 * Mr. Krabs: She’s my daughter, if anything you people abducted her. She does not have the coronavirus.
 * Doctor: Yeah, well we need to make sure, to protect our city.
 * Pearl: I don’t have the virus. I am feeling much better now actually.
 * Hoopla: Indeed she is, all thanks to this box made by Box Productions. Order now for 299.99!
 * Doctor: You could still have the virus.
 * The crowd of people: Yeah, what are you doing? Trying to kill us all?
 * SpongeBob: She doesn’t have the virus!
 * Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob?
 * SpongeBob: Listen everyone. I am sure you have all read the stories about the virus, and how bad it all sounds. But let’s be honest how often does the media exaggerate stuff?
 * Doctor: Quite often.
 * The crowd: Yeah, very often actually.
 * SpongeBob: And has the media revealed the ages of the deaths?
 * The crowd: No.
 * SpongeBob: For all we know they could’ve been very old or very young. I mean, the flu is something that can kill old people, but people around Pearl’s age can normally get through it easier. Maybe this virus is as dangerous as the media are making it look, maybe not. But let’s all just calm down about it. It’s under control, and Mr. Krabs, I am sorry for the way I have acted today. I overreacted. It was your choice whether you got Pearl checked out and I shouldn’t have tried to control it.
 * Doctor: And on behalf of the paramedics that abducted Pearl, I am sorry. Also SpongeBob, since you are the person who called in about Pearl and you don’t have health insurance, you owe us quite a lot of money.
 * SpongeBob: Oh fuck the healthcare system.

Trivia

 * This episode will air on February 7, 2020 at 9:30 PM on the SBN network.