Barely Legal

Barely Legal

Pearl tries to become Squidward's girlfriend while SpongeBob and his friends become police officers.

Season: 5 Episode: 8

Total Episode Count: 88

'''Prod. no.''': 5ACX03

Featuring: Pearl, Squidward

Also Appearing: SpongeBob, Plankton, Sandy, Patrick, Debbie, Mayor Johnny East, John Fishly, Fred Rechid, Tom Smith, Nort Goldman, Jenkins, Oopie, Connie Recedes, Leiana Takanawa, Billy, Garrett Morris, Jimmy, Allison Janney, Michael Douglas, Kathleen Turner, Emperor Palpatine, Darth Vader, Esther, Ruth, Patty

Plot: After Mayor Johnny East deploys the entire Bikini Bottom police department to Catagena, Colombia to search for a character from Romancing the Stone, John becomes bogged down at work, being the only officer not sent to Colombia (he was not sent because South America is "not wheelchair accessible"). Because of this, SpongeBob and the guys decide to become police officers to help John.

Meanwhile, Pearl comes home from school, threatening to commit suicide by using a sharp, scary knife because she does not have a date for her Junior Prom (the last boy she asked killed his brother to use his funeral as an excuse). As a last resort, Squidward agrees to take her. Squidward hides his unhappiness in attending by getting drunk, but near the end of the night in the course of defending Pearl, he manages to bring Connie Recedes down a level by telling her she developed early abd put out at age 12, and now she was afraid that her body would be so worn out at age 19 that even her step-dad wouldn't want her. Almost immediately following this, Squidward and Pearl make out with each other. After their kiss, Squidward vomits and claims that it's from the booze, not Pearl.

After the dance, Pearl begins to consider Squidward her boyfriend, but Squidward tells her he has not intentions to date her. Becuase of this, Pearl becomes obsessed with Squidward and begins to make bizarre advances at him (such as making an apple pie with hair baked inside). Feeling that he's losing control of the situation, Squidward tells Sandy about Pearl and how she loves him because he made out with her at the prom. As expected, Sandy is furious and orders Squidward to set things right. Even after Squidward tells Pearl that he will be attracted to her, she knocks him out with a can of Canned Bread, ties him up and the brings him to a hotel in an attempt to have sex with him, but is stopped by SpongeBob and his friends.

Fred offers his services to straighten Pearl out. Pearl comes over to his house and, instead of sleeping with her as expected, he has a heart-to-heart talk with her, explaining that she doesn't need to have a boyfriend to have fun as a teenager and gives her a book, Shel Silverstein's The Missing Piece, to guide her.

Fred then goes into his bedroom to have sex with two hoo**rs, but is put off by how one of them pronounces the word "whip".

Trivia

 * Man cuts and edits were used in the FOX version.

Rating
TV-14: DLSV

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