SpongeBob Fanon Wiki

Free Palestine

READ MORE

SpongeBob Fanon Wiki
Register
Advertisement
Nocard

"Please Touch Me, I'm Sterile!" is a Season 1 episode of Patrick!: The Series that first aired on Netflix Network in 2020.

Transcript[]

[It starts in SpongeBob's pineapple, where Patrick is scrubbing]

[Mr. Krabs peeps through the window and his pupils become dollar signs and his eyes pop out]

[Mr. Krabs grabs Patrick's hand and starts running and dragging him along]

MR. KRABS: "Come on, I'm gonna make you a STAR!"

PATRICK: "But I already am one."

[Patrick is placed down on the floor of The Krusty Krab]

MR. KRABS: "Step right up, everyone. Anyone interested will get the chance to touch Patrick!"

[Audience stares for a while and then ignores him]

MR. KRABS: "He's sterile."

AUDIENCE: "Ooh..."

SQUIDWARD: [Slowly lowers his newspaper and swiftly brings it back up]

PATRICK: [Runs away with everyone following him]

["Grass Skirt Chase" starts playing]

[Mr. Krabs starts following them]

MR. KRABS: "Wait! Money-- I mean Patrick, get back here!"

[Patrick hides in SpongeBob's house]

PATRICK: "You gotta help me, SpongeBob! Everyone wants to touch me because I'm sterile!"

SPONGEBOB: "Why don't you dry off and take off your gloves?"

PATRICK: "Oh..."

Advertisement