This article is rated A, meaning it is appropriate for all ages.
|Christmas & 3016!|
|Title card by||Calaz|
|Previous Episode||New Life, New Job|
|Next Episode||Obesity Problems|
This episode has the first appearance of Robo-Announcer and Blender.
Robo-Narrator: Oh, what a beautiful day it is in New Bikini Bottom. The plants are blue, the ground is silver, it is our town at its best.
SpongeBob: You know what's best for all? IT’S CHRISTMAS EVE!
Robo-Narrator: Um… what’s that?
SpongeBob: How do you not- Okay whatever. Christmas is a time when a person named Santa comes and brings presents for the good kids in the world. Santa is a jolly old elf that loves all kids and he is magical.
Robo-Narrator: You're making this up.
SpongeBob: No i'm not! It was a thing back in the 2000’s!
Robo-Narrator: No it wasn't.
SpongeBob: Yes it was.
Robo-Narrator: NO IT ISN’T!
SpongeBob: YES IT IS!
[The Robo-Narrator is silent for a moment]
Robo-Narrator: Well, have you heard the story of Krampus?
Robo-Narrator: Oh you haven't, ay? Well, Krampus is Santa's brother, and he delivers something to bad kids of the world… it’s something so sinister… so incredibly EVIL, and PUNISHING…
SpongeBob: (shiver) (shiver)
Robo-Narrator: Can you guess what he does?
Robo-Narrator: He… . . . RIPS YO HEAD OFF AND MAKES YAR HEAD INTO BRAIN SOUP! MUAHAHAHAHAHA- Oh, Sorry son, didn't mean to scare you.
SpongeBob: Oh, I'm late for an appointment, heh heh… I… need to go- BYE!
[As SpongeBob runs out of the scene he screams.]
[Then the screen cuts to SpongeBob at the store.]
SpongeBob: Hmm.. where is the blender i found a second ago…
[SpongeBob picks up a blender with an odd looking shape on it]
SpongeBob: Oh my goodness, that's so weird..
Blender: Wipe my shiny metal blade.
SpongeBob: What the- You can TALK!
Blender: Hell yeah I can!
SpongeBob: Well… okay. Why not. I’ll buy you.
Blender: Heck Ya!
[Screen cuts to spongebob laying in his bed with his blender]
SpongeBob: You know, you can be like Gary.
Blender: Gary? What kinda geek name is that?
SpongeBob: Hey you don’t talk to him like that! He is my pet snail!
Blender: SNAI- Man, you outdated, big time! I’m sorry SpongeBob, but you ain’t the kinda cool guy I wanted. But, i guess i can work with you.
[SpongeBob bumps into Blemder and he starts going crazy]
Blender: WOAH WOAH WOAH WOAH WOAH WOAH WOAH-
[SpongeBob stops him before he falls of the shelf.]
Blender: Next time, do NOT do what I say. So do NOT, i repeat, do NOOOT, wipe my shiny metal blade.
SpongeBob: Okay, okay.
[The two of them start sleeping and then get up to the sound of SpongeBobs alarm clock.
BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!
SpongeBob: TODAY’S CHRISTMAS!!
Blender: What in the snarling nose is that?
[SpongeBob stares for a moment.]
SpongeBob: You know what, I don’t want this to happen again.
Robo-Narrator: Now it is time to show a different story that is happening right here over in Eugene The Cheaps office!
[Screen cuts to The New Krusty Krab (remember the turn of events that happened last episode)]
Eugene The Cheap: But Mr. Yonker, I promise that The Krusty Krab will be perfect to build your monument!
The Yonker Company: We're sorry, but we don’t think you have the loyalness i takes.
Eugene The Cheap: NOOOOOOOOO! I WAS GONNA GET 3 DOLLARS!!!
[PatTron Q walks in at that moment and sees Eugene The Cheap crying]
PatTron Q: Huh? What is happening here?
Eugene The Cheap: Oh PatTron, I COULD HAVE GOTTEN 3 DOLLARS!! WAAAHHHHHHH!
PatTron Q: Why? What do you need to do?
Eugene The Cheap: All we need to do is build a stupid monument called Dime Square! Wait, I know the perfect solution! You can build it!
PatTron Q: Wait, WHAT? But I don’t have the skill Eugune! I’m just a dumb old farting robot!
Eugene The Cheap: Pff. Yeah right. Come on, grab a pic! PatTron Q: This is CRAZY…
Robo-Announcer: Oh man, crazy stuff going on there! Can PatTron Q save Eugune? We will find out after we continue the story of SpongeBob and Blender.
[SpongeBob walks down his hallway]
♫ It’s snowing and its foggy which is not at all what the forecast said so thats a sign of a white Christams! ♫
[SpongeBob looks under the tree]
♫ Theres a bunch of presents and SpongeBob just peed his pants so thats a sign of a white Christmas! ♫
[SpongeBob pulls out all the presents and rips them up]
♫ Everybody’s celebrating all the children, all the elderly so thats a sign of a white Christmas! ♫
[SpongeBob realizes that one of the gifts is the same blender that he already has]
♫ Um.. ♫
[all of the sudden he relizes that that was just a dream]
Blender: WAKE UP, SLEEPY HEAD! YOU SLEPT ON THE FLOOR!
SpongeBob: Ugh, sorry. Just Christmas is so EXCITING!!!
Blender: Okay seriously, what is this *Christmas* thing you’ve been talking about in your sleep?
SpongeBob: Well at this point I don’t think some people knows what it means…
Blender: NOBODY DOESN'T!
SpongeBob: Wait… what?
Blender: Sany Cyborg doesnt know, both PatTron’s don’t know… no one has no idea.
[All of the sudden everyone walks into the room then make a face like “I honestly don’t know”]
SpongeBob: So… that means no more Christmas miracles… no more… Christmas trees… and most important thing of all… no more Santa.
[SpongeBob starts crying alot but everyone tries to cheer him up]
Sandy Cyborg: Hey it’s okay.
SpongeBob: NO IT’S NAUT!!
Squidward: Well, if Christmas isnt real anymore, wouldn’t that mean Krampus is gone?
SpongeBob: Hey your right… YAHOO! YIPEE! ALRIGHT!
Robo-Announcer: Well, SpongeBob’s happy! That’s all that matters… right?
PatTron Q: NO! I’M STUCK SCULPTING SOMETHING!
Robo- Announcer: Well that sucks for you, cause that’s the end of the episode!
Eugune The Cheap: Oh yeah, by the way, your hired to work here at Time Square forever.
PatTron Q: NOOOOOOOOO!!!!
[The screen starts closing in Looney Tune style while PatTron Q keeps screaming.]
[Like Looney Tunes style, it says “The End”]