[Verse 1] I am he as you are he as you are me and we are all together See how they run like pigs from a gun, see how they fly I'm crying
[Verse 2] Sitting on a cornflake, waiting for the van to come Corporation tee-shirt, stupid bloody Tuesday Man, you've been a naughty boy, you let your face grow long
[Chorus] I am the egg man, they are the egg men I am the walrus, goo goo goo joob
[Verse 3] Mister City policeman sitting Pretty little policemen in a row See how they fly like Lucy in the sky, see how they run I'm crying, I'm crying I'm crying, I'm crying
[Verse 4] Yellow matter custard Dripping from a dead dog's eye Crabalocker fishwife, pornographic priestess Boy, you've been a naughty girl, you let your knickers down
[Chorus] I am the egg man, they are the egg men I am the walrus, goo goo goo joob
[Bridge] Sitting in an English garden waiting for the sun If the sun don't come, you get a tan From standing in the English rain
[Chorus] I am the egg man (now good sir, what are you?) They are the egg men (a poor man, made tame to fortune's blows) I am the walrus, goo goo goo joob (good pity) G-goo goo goo joob
[Verse 5] Expert, textpert, choking smokers Don't you think the joker laughs at you? (ho ho ho, hee hee hee, ha ha ha) See how they smile like pigs in a sty See how they snide I'm crying
[Verse 6] Semolina pilchard Climbing up the Eiffel Tower Elementary penguin singing Hare Krishna Man, you should have seen them kicking Edgar Allan Poe
[Chorus] I am the egg man, they are the egg men I am the walrus, goo goo goo joob g-goo goo goo joob Goo goo goo joob g-goo goo goo joob, goo goo Joob Joob Joob
[Outro] Umpa, umpa, stick it up your jumper Everybody's got one, everybody's got one “Villain, take my Purse. If ever thou wilt thrive, bury my Body And give the Letters which thou findst about me To Edmund Earl of Gloucester: seek him out upon the English Party. Oh, untimely death, death–” “I know thee well, a serviceable Villain; as duteous to the Vices of thy Mistress as badness would desire.” “What, is he dead?” “Sit you down, Father; rest you.”