Squilliam Banned is a Season 14 episode of SpongeBob Fanon. In it, Squilliam becomes poor after an incident with Squidward.
Transcript[]
( The episode opens up at the Krusty Krab. Squidward is miserably working.)
- Squidward: Welcome to the Krusty Krab. May i take your order?
- Customer: No. I'm here to get you sacked. I'm just going to write a horrible message on your boat... (Writes ' Squidward Sucks Eggs' on the boat)
- Squidward: Hey! Clean that up this instant, vandal! (Enter Mr Krabs)
- Mr Krabs: Stop blamin' me customers for every little thing! Now, let me payin' customer have a Krabby Patty!
- Squilliam: ( Mr Krabs' customer is revealed to be Squilliam in disguise.) So, squiddy, you work in the dumbest restaurant around! (laughs) (to Mr Krabs) Say, I could care for a Krabby Patty, though. It's hard being rich on an empty stomach.
- Mr Krabs: (knows rich people are very profitable) That'll be 1,000,000 dollars, please.
- Squilliam: WHAT?! You're charging me a million dollars for a lousy burger? Antique cars cost less!
- Squidward: (mockingly) So what, Squilliam Squills? Pay up or leave! ( Mr Krabs ties Squilliam to the boat)
- Mr Krabs: The rich guy ain't goin' nowhere until he pays.
- Squilliam: Fine! I'm a multimillionaire anyway! ( pays for the Krabby Patty. When he goes home, he checks his mobile bank account and finds his current balance is only $1. He begins searching Bikini Bottom for a job. First, Mrs. Puffs Boating School.)
- Squilliam: I'd like a job here, please.
- Mrs. Puff: Do you have your driver's licence?
- Squilliam: Why would I need one? I get driven around in my private limousine!
- Mrs. Puff: In that case, get lost! (transitions to the Chum Bucket)
- Squilliam: I'd like a job here, please.
- Plankton: Are you evil?
- Squilliam: That lousy Squidward seems to think so.
- Plankton: (sighs) Do you yourself think you're evil?
- Squilliam: ( starts to cry) Can't you see? I am a helpless young guy with only 1 dollar to spare. I need a job. And fast!
- Plankton: I've heard folk tales about you. You are supposed to be richer than Krabs! What happened to all that other money?
- Squilliam: Blame it on Krabs. He stole my money by charging me sack fulls for a Krabby Patty!
Plankton : I've been after his recipe for years. Why don't you join forces with me? Together we'll steal that formula and bankrupt Krabs for life!
- Squilliam: What's my pay?
- Plankton: $0 a month. I'm broke too. (To be continued.)