We Got SpongeBob On The Track

We Got SpongeBob On The Track
Season	157
Airdate	August 23, 2216
Broadcast number	4b
Written by	DanzxvFan8275

We Got SpongeBob On The Track is an episode of SpongeBob SquarePants Fanon from Season 157. It was released on SBFW on September 20, 2020.

Synopsis

After Mr. Krabs sets up a late night party at the Krusty Krab, SpongeBob is forced to be the DJ and produce his own beat.

Transcript

[episode starts with SpongeBob finishing a day of work at the Krusty Krab. He clocks out]

SpongeBob: I always hate this. [wipes a tear] Well, at least I can go see Gary. But maybe he’s in Puffy Fluffy’s mouth…. [groans]

Mr. Krabs: [runs in] SpongeBob, me boy! I just decided that I was gonna throw a party here tonight.

SpongeBob: Really?! I love parties! I love getting both drunk and high at the same ti-

Mr. Krabs: [interrupting] Yeah, yeah, yeah, but I have something important that you need to do.

SpongeBob: What’s that?

Mr. Krabs: Here. [points to a random desk with a few large speakers and a waterproof laptop plugged in]. I need you to import some of the hard ass beats that you produce, [whispering] as well as some other lackluster popular songs, [voice is back to normal] into this here laptop. So, what instrumentals have you made?

SpongeBob: Uhhhhhh…. [sweats]

Mr. Krabs: Eh, it’s okay if you forget for now. [puts SpongeBob in a chair behind the desk] But I need you to remember them for tonight. Welp, get importing. See you at 9. Oh, and SpongeBob. If you fail to impress me, [voice turns threatening] there will be consequences. [voice turns normal] Wep, see ya! [walks out]

SpongeBob: What….I don’t know how to make a beat. Well, maybe I can learn how to make them in the next... [looks at a clock, that reads 6:10 while continuing to click] 3 HOURS?! I’m not going to learn how to become an amazing producer in under 3 hours! I’m doomed! [hears someone banging on the door] Who the hell is that?

[cuts to Patrick outside of the Krusty Krab, banging on the door repeatedly. It quickly escalates into him banging his head into and punching the door. SpongeBob comes running over.]

SpongeBob: Patrick! Stop!

Patrick: Okay, you asked for it, door! [throws his body into the door and smashes all of it.]

SpongeBob: Patrick, you damn fool! What are you doing?

Patrick: Coming to get my evening boatload!

SpongeBob: Patrick, we’ve been closed for like 10 minutes now. Everyday you come, and everyday I tell you that.

Patrick: Oh. [shows his stomach growling] Welp, bye, SpongeBob. Gotta go get some grub somewhere…. [SpongeBob grabs onto hit before he walks out]

SpongeBob: Wait, hold on! Do you, by any chance, have any experience with hip-hop beats?

Patrick: [pauses for a second and starts bursting into laughter] What, have you been living under a rock? [SpongeBob holds a deadpan expression] Of course I do. I’m responsible for half of the instrumentals of the Bikini Bottom hit songs!

[cuts to a cutaway of him pounding on his stomach during recording sessions while a real beat is playing]

SpongeBob: Great! ‘Cause we’re throwing a party tonight and Mr. Krabs expects me to make some beats to blast.

Patrick: Then let’s get to it. [cuts to the kitchen where they are working on a beat on the laptop.] Now, what you first want to do is-

[music plays in the background where Patrick is silently telling SpongeBob what to do. Cuts show SpongeBob nodding and getting to work on the instrumental. Patrick starts marching back in forth, still mouthing important information. It also cuts to the clock, where it shows that time is going by. SpongeBob starts sweating, but Patrick gives him a towel and an energy drink, giving him the energy to keep going. It finally cuts to SpongeBob breathing heavily as his arms are swaying all over the ground, with Patrick giving him a pat on the back.]

Patrick: [talks in a soft, pride-filled tone] You did good, buddy. It’s finally over.

SpongeBob: [pops back into his normal form] Um, Patrick?

Patrick: Yes, SpongeBob?

SpongeBob: What exactly did I do?

Patrick: [voice turns to normal] You created an account for a beat maker website! Step one is over. [SpongeBob turns angry and starts to grunt, ready to explode] And look, we still have an hour before the party starts! Now we can start making it.

[a live action motion of an explosion is shown, as the whole kitchen is now covered in ashes.]

SpongeBob: PATRICK! IT TOOK US A FRICKING HOUR AND A HALF TO SIGN UP?!

Patrick: Uh….yes?

SpongeBob: It’s 8 o’clock! Mr. Krabs will be furious if I let him down! You said you were good at producing!

Patrick: Yeah, but…. [makes up an excuse] Oh, look at the time, I best be going. [runs out]

SpongeBob: Well, now that I have this account, I better at least attempt to do this. [a lightbulb appears over his head] OH MY GOD! It’s so obvious! I just need to take some songs, remove the vocals, and I’m all set! [laughs maniacally. Starts typing and playing beats.]

[cuts to Mr. Krabs opening up the Krusty Krab]

Mr. Krabs: SPONGEBOB!

SpongeBob: Yes, sir?

Mr. Krabs: Do you have your playlist ready?

SpongeBob: In-fricking-deed I do.

Mr. Krabs: Well then. [whole crowd comes rushing in] Start bumping them.

SpongeBob: [now back at his table] What’s goin’ on, homies, it’s yo boi SpongeBob On The Track, and I’ma blow this place up, know what I’m sayi- [shows the crowd looking at him with a dirty look] Eh….here you go. [cracks his knuckle and starts spinning the record as the party rises].

Fish #1: [to Fish #2] Damn, this beat goes HARD….

Fish #2: Sure homie. But it sounds familiar.

Fish #1: Naw, you just trippin.

Fish #3: Actually, this kinda sounds like that song by Lil Perch that he dropped last week.

SpongeBob: [hearing their conversation and shredding a sweat drop] Um, heh, let’s not be silly here…. All beats were produced by yours truly.

Fish #2: Aight, I was wrong. Now let’s go hit up them chicks. [walks away]

SpongeBob: Phew. [changes to a different beat. Cuts to a bunch of girls in the corner of the place.]

Girl #1: I could twerk to this fire.

Girl #2: Yaa! I need to know what it’s called.

Girl #3: Oh you hoes! That’s what Shazam is for. Let’s see! [turns on her phone] and puts her phone up]

SpongeBob: Crap! I can’t let those hotties figure out I’m a fake! Then I’ll never score. [spots Patrick] Psst! Patrick!

Patrick: Yeah, buddy? Also, I can’t believe you learned how to make this in an hour.

SpongeBob Nevermind that! Steal that girl’s phone.

Patrick: K then. [walks over and manages to slide it out of her hand]

Girl #3: What was that? Eh, nevermind. Hey, let’s go act like a slut around the boys.

SpongeBob: Nice. [Squidward and Krabs are in the back, nodding their heads to beat]

Mr. Krabs: Ya know, the boy impresses me.

Squidward: Yeah. This proves that fire can exist underwater!

SpongeBob: [giggling after hearing their conversation] Well, I don’t know about that. [laughs]

Mr. Krabs: You said it. In fact, let’s go get some rappers to murder it!

Squidward: Callin’ my boy Lil Perch right now.

SpongeBob: [panics] Crap! Then they’ll know that it’s mine.

Squidward: [on the phone] Yeah, Perch? Drop by the Krusty Krab, we got something for you to shine over. Alright, bye. [turns phone off] He’s swinging by! [lambo can be heard swerving the background] Damn, he’s here already.

SpongeBob: AHHHH! No, no, no! I wanna come clean, but…. They’ll still think I’m a fraud! No, no, I have to be a man. I got this. [turns on microphone] Yo, everybody! I got something to say. [everybody stops partying, as they’re whispering over why it was stopped]

Fish #1: Why’d ya stop it?

Fish #2: Yeah, you’re the best producer ever!

SpongeBob: No. I’m not. I didn’t make any of these beats. I just took the hottest beats from other songs, since, well, I can’t make anything. [whispers continue] So, yeah. I hope you forgive me.

Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob….

SpongeBob: [gulps]

Mr. Krabs: Do you really think we care? [laughs] Whether you made it or not, you’ve done this job. If you weren’t here, this party wouldn’t be the same.

SpongeBob: Really?

Squidward: Yep.

Mr. Krabs: Thank you, boy.

Lil Perch: [walking in] Sup, y’all? [crowd starts cheering] Let’s see what we got here…. Hm….. [sees the name of the beat and realizes that it’s his beat; gets angry]

SpongeBob: Is there a problem?

Lil Perch: YOU STOLE MY BEAT! NOW YOU NEED TO PAY ME LOYALTIES!

Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob! Why’d ya steal his beat? [everybody gets mad]

SpongeBob: You just said I was fine, dumbass.

Squidward: But now that my boy Perch said it…. Yeah you’re not fine, homes.

Everyone except for SpongeBob: YEAH!

Lil Perch: GET HIM!

SpongeBob: Oh shit. [gulps and starts running away, with everyone else chasing him]

[episode ends]

Trivia

• This episode was originally supposed to be DanzxvFan8275's first entry for Spin Off Kings Season Two. However, upon delay of the season and eventual return, the episode remained unreleased.
• This episode was written 2 years before it was released, having been written in September 2018.
• The title is a reference to record producer London on da Track, specifically his producer tag, which is "we got London on da Track."